Season Three: Version B
by columbiachica
Summary: Season three in my universe.
1. Nightingale

"Nightingale" ****

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story. They are the property of Amy-Sherman Palladino, The WB, and Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions.

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Author's Note: Ha, I have finally found a way to group these episodes together. This first episode was written sometime last July, based off of old spoilers.

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VOICEOVER: Previously on Gilmore Girls…

[Cut to wedding]

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RORY: I think I'm going to Washington.

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LORELAI: Oh.

[Cut to Gilmore house]

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LORELAI: [Yelling] She's pregnant! Sherry's pregnant.

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RORY: [After a pause] Oh.

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LORELAI: [Calmer] I'm sorry it had to be like this, babe.

[Cut to RORY and DEAN at the bus stop]

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DEAN: You're breaking up with me?

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RORY: Dean, it's not like that.

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DEAN: Well, then enlighten me, because right now, it looks like you're breaking up with me.

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RORY: No. I mean, yes. But I don't want it to be bitter.

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DEAN: So this is it?

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RORY: I don't want to hurt you.

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DEAN: Well, the best intentions.

[Cut to RORY on the phone with CHRISTOPHER]

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RORY:…And I think it's completely unfair that you gave Mom and I false hope, and then you just left, without even saying goodbye. We were counting on you, and you didn't come through, just like you never do!

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CHRISTOPHER: Rory.

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RORY: It sucks that you couldn't even tell me to my face! It sucks that you made Mom do it, even though she was already hurting and sad and disappointed. It sucks that…it sucks that you can't just be my dad.

[The la-la's start]

[Cut to RORY and PARIS in Washington]

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PARIS: I took more notes than you did.

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RORY: Paris, when will we ever need to know what pattern the speaker's tie was?

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PARIS: People are interested in this sort of thing. The tie says a lot about the person. [RORY is zoning out] It's the details that will put us over the top, not only in student council and The Franklin, but in Harvard. I mean, these people scrutinize you. They look at every little fragment of your being, they rip you to shreds—What is wrong with you?

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RORY: [Startled] Nothing.

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PARIS: You're not listening to anything I say.

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RORY: I'm just…thinking.

[Open to LORELAI in the Hartford Airport. She is waiting anxiously with coffee cups in hand while passenger after passenger comes out. Finally, RORY walks off the plane]

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LORELAI: Babe! Hi, Paris.

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PARIS: Miss Gilmore.

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LORELAI: So, how was it? [Hands RORY the coffee]

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RORY: Great.

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PARIS: Some of the speakers were under par.

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LORELAI: Really?

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PARIS: Yes. One man was wearing a nylon tie.

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LORELAI: Well, I'm surprised her wasn't booed off the stage and pelted with rotten tomatoes.

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RORY: All we had were some orange slices.

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LORELAI: Not quite the intended effect.

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RORY: Not smooshy enough.

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LORELAI: So, Paris, do you need a ride home?

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PARIS: The chauffeur will be here any minute.

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LORELAI: Do you want us to wait?

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PARIS: No.

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RORY: We'll wait.

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PARIS: You don't have to.

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RORY: Come on, Paris, all this time together to leave you standing in an airport, all alone? We'll wait.

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LORELAI: [Whispering to RORY] She totally gave you an out.

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RORY: What's a few more minutes out of six weeks?

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LORELAI: Angel. Who's daughter are you?

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RORY: Mother Teresa's.

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LORELAI: That was one busy hospital.

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PARIS: I see him.

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RORY: Okay. Bye, I guess.

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PARIS: Yeah, I guess. [She starts walking away, then turns around to say] I had a nice time.

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RORY: [Surprised] So did I.

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PARIS: So, I'll see you in school?

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RORY: School it is. [PARIS turns and leaves. LORELAI loops her arm around RORY'S waist and they start walking]

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LORELAI: So tell me. How was it really?

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RORY: Not too bad. Paris is human once you get to know her, shockingly. The speakers were great; the sites were beautiful; my suitcase is stuffed from too many souvenirs.

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LORELAI: For me, I hope.

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RORY: Mainly.

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LORELAI: You had thoughts of others?

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RORY: I bought some stuff for Grandma and Grandpa.

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LORELAI: Brown noser.

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RORY: And a few things for Lane.

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LORELAI: CD's?

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RORY: They had a good shop. I got her that MC5 album she's been wanting forever.

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LORELAI: That they didn't have in Hartford?

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RORY: That's the one.

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LORELAI: Well, you accomplished a lot in a short amount of time.

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RORY: I feel I was very productive.

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LORELAI: So, how does Luke's sound?

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RORY: [Nervous] Well…

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LORELAI: Oh, I forgot for a second. Now we can't go into the market or the diner? We're going to starve.

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RORY: There's always Al's. Or the Hungry Diner.

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LORELAI: Both with frightening coffee. How dare they call that stuff coffee?

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RORY: It is a plague on the very name. [There is a slight pause]

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LORELAI: Oh, your dad called.

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RORY: Oh.

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LORELAI: You didn't tell me you had a fight with him.

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RORY: It wasn't big.

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LORELAI: He said you were pretty mad.

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RORY: Well, I was.

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LORELAI: It's just weird. You've never yelled at him before.

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RORY: I know. I just…it really made me mad that he couldn't even say goodbye to me.

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LORELAI: Honey, I know. Believe me, I know. But he's still your dad.

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RORY: I know.

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LORELAI: He's coming up next weekend. He wants to make things right again.

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RORY: Okay.

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LORELAI: Good.

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RORY: So, how's Sherry?

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LORELAI: Everything's normal. She's fine, the baby's fine.

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RORY: Do they know what it's going to be?

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LORELAI: Well, the doctor has ruled out fruit fly and dragon, but other than that, it's up for grabs.

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RORY: Well, as long as it's not a fruit fly, then I'm okay.

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LORELAI: Yeah, I was worried about that too.

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RORY: It's a good thing they cleared that up.

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LORELAI: I have been awake at night, gnawing over that.

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RORY: Was he mad?

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LORELAI: No. He understands.

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RORY: I'm sorry.

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LORELAI: He knows that, too. But you can tell him that this weekend, after you make him grovel for your forgiveness.

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RORY: That sounds good.

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LORELAI: Good. [The la-la's starts playing. She hugs RORY tighter to her as the keep walking. The camera focuses on them from behind until they're lost in the crowd]

[Opening credits]

[First commercial break]

[Open to Stars Hollow. RORY and LORELAI are driving in the Jeep]

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RORY: Can you drop me off at Lane's?

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LORELAI: Maybe in a little.

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RORY: Well, now would probably be good. I think her mom has Bible group now.

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LORELAI: There's someplace I want to stop first.

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RORY: Where?

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LORELAI: Just…a place.

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RORY: Well, then, drop me by Lane's, and you can stop there.

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LORELAI: I need you to come with me.

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RORY: Why?

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LORELAI: You'll see.

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RORY: Where are we going?

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LORELAI: Somewhere.

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RORY: Well, I don't trust your navigational skills. Where?

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LORELAI: Wait and you'll see.

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RORY: I don't like surprises involving you and driving somewhere.

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LORELAI: Get used to them, babe.

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RORY: Mom…

[LORELAI steers the Jeep into the center of town, where there are balloons and banners and food everywhere]

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LORELAI: Here we are.

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RORY: You could have just told me.

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LORELAI: It would have spoiled the surprise.

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RORY: You almost spoiled my appetite with the suspense.

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LORELAI: Good thing it wasn't any farther away.

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RORY: Yeah, or I wouldn't be able to eat Sookie's food. [Looking around] I can't believe they would do this for me.

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LORELAI: Believe it. Miss Patty and Taylor had a whole segment of the town meeting devoted to planning it.

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RORY: Is…everyone here?

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LORELAI: I think Dean has been safely tied up in Luke's basement.

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RORY: Luke doesn't have a basement.

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LORELAI: Pretend with me here.

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RORY: Thanks.

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LORELAI: Don't thank me, thank Harry. He came out of retirement just to string the lights for this affair.

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RORY: It's not night yet.

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LORELAI: It will be.

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RORY: How long will the insanity last?

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LORELAI: Until Kirk passes out.

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RORY: So, about twenty minutes.

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LORELAI: Thereabouts.

[SOOKIE comes up from behind, carrying a tray]

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SOOKIE: Hey, popcorn! Raspberry tart?

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RORY: [Taking one] Thank you so much, Sookie.

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SOOKIE: It was no problem! We're just so glad to have you back.

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LORELAI: Amen to that.

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SOOKIE: Jackson has a whole platter of strawberries over there for you.

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RORY: Really? [She hugs SOOKIE] I'll be back.

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LORELAI: [Watching her go] Thank God she's back.

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SOOKIE: I wasn't much of a replacement for movie night.

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LORELAI: You gave it a noble try. And I was beginning to feel guilty tearing you away from your husband every other night.

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SOOKIE: Husband…

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LORELAI: You'll have to get used to it eventually.

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SOOKIE: It just sounds so…wow.

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LORELAI: [A little sadly] Yeah. It does.

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SOOKIE: So, have you heard from him?

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LORELAI: Who?

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SOOKIE: Who? Chris.

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LORELAI: Oh, yeah. He's coming up next weekend.

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SOOKIE: Oh.

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LORELAI: Not "oh." Good.

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SOOKIE: Good?

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LORELAI: He and Rory can patch things up.

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SOOKIE: Something has to be patched?

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LORELAI: They had a fight.

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SOOKIE: Uh-oh.

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LORELAI: Not really. Rory was just upset. I think Chris understands.

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SOOKIE: What about Sherry?

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LORELAI: What about Sherry?

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SOOKIE: Is she coming up too?

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LORELAI: I don't know.

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SOOKIE: Wow.

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LORELAI: Yeah. Wow.

[Cut to RORY and LANE by the food table]

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LANE: His name is Clyde.

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RORY: Clyde?

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LANE: It's a musician name.

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RORY: Wow.

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LANE: He plays the drums in Mediocrity.

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RORY: Really? They're pretty good.

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LANE: I know.

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RORY: So, have you told your mom yet?

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LANE: Well, you'd been gone so long that I was on the verge of spitting it out, but I saved myself.

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RORY: How?

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LANE: I wrote it multiple times in my journal.

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RORY: Journal?

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LANE: The New-Age way of avoiding death by your mother's hands.

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RORY: You could have told me on the phone.

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LANE: I think my mom was listening in. She doesn't trust long distance.

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RORY: So that's why you asked me about my orange juice six times.

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LANE: I had to keep it G.

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RORY: Obviously. [She looks around the party]

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LANE: I haven't seen him around.

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RORY: Who?

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LANE: Dean.

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RORY: Oh.

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LANE: He hasn't been in the market when I've gone in, I haven't seen him on the field at school when I walk by, and he definitely hasn't gone into Luke's.

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RORY: Okay.

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LANE: What happened between you guys?

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RORY: We just decided we were growing apart, I told you.

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LANE: There was no catalyst?

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RORY: No. It was a mutual decision.

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LANE: So that's why he hasn't come out of his house in six weeks?

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RORY: Maybe he's trying an Emily Dickinson thing. Maybe he's starting to write poetry.

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LANE: Maybe. [Picks a cookie off the table] I'm glad you're back.

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RORY: You just like me for my food.

[Cut to Luke's Diner]

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LUKE: [Wiping the table off] You aren't going?

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JESS: What?

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LUKE: To the party.

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JESS: Nope.

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LUKE: Why?

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JESS: Not much of a party animal.

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LUKE: I thought you might like to say hi to Rory.

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JESS: She'll come in the diner eventually.

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LUKE: I know. I just thought you two were…friends or something, and friends usually greet other friends after long trips and such.

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JESS: I'll greet her when she comes in.

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LUKE: Did something happen between you two?

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JESS: No.

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LUKE: Then why the sudden weirdness?

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JESS: There's no weirdness.

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LUKE: There's weirdness.

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JESS: [Flinging the rag down] I'm not going to debate this with you.

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LUKE: Jess.

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JESS: I'm going upstairs.

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LUKE: Your break's not for another hour.

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JESS: Well, then, I'll skip that one.

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LUKE: Jess, come on. [JESS goes up the stairs. LUKE sighs. LORELAI enters]

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LORELAI: Hey.

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LUKE: Hey.

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LORELAI: Are you gonna come to the party?

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LUKE: Not today.

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LORELAI: Rory would really like you and Jess to come.

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LUKE: Well, Jess doesn't want to go mingle with the insanity that is, unfortunately, Stars Hollow, and I need to keep the diner open.

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LORELAI: Come on, there are no customers. Everyone's at the party.

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LUKE: If I get a chance later.

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LORELAI: Luke, I would really like you to come.

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LUKE: I said, if I get a chance later.

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LORELAI: Can't you just accept my apology?

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LUKE: It has been accepted.

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LORELAI: Then why are you still an ice sculpture?

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LUKE: I'm not an ice sculpture.

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LORELAI: Oh, yes, you are. And there isn't even any water dripping off the edge.

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LUKE: What?

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LORELAI: No sign of melting.

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LUKE: Look, Lorelai, I accepted your apology. I give you coffee. What more do you want?

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LORELAI: I want us to be friends again.

[LUKE doesn't say anything, just starts tidying up behind the counter. LORELAI'S eyes get teary, and she turns around and leaves. LUKE turns and watches her through the window]

[Cut to SOOKIE by the food tables. SOOKIE is rearranging the food, refilling platters. LORELAI comes marching up]

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LORELAI: That man is so stubborn!

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SOOKIE: Who?

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LORELAI: Who? Luke!

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SOOKIE: The war rages on?

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LORELAI: He won't even talk to me anymore.

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SOOKIE: I thought you said things were getting better.

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LORELAI: Better in the sort of better way. He gives me coffee now, but he doesn't even tell me that it'll kill me.

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SOOKIE: Isn't that what you've always wanted?

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LORELAI: No! I want him to go back to old Luke.

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SOOKIE: Lorelai, you blew up at the man for something that wasn't his fault. He's hurt.

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LORELAI: I know that. I tried to explain to him a million times that I didn't mean it, that I was just upset.

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SOOKIE: Just give him time.

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LORELAI: I have given him time.

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SOOKIE: Give him more.

[LORELAI looks back to the diner with a sad look on her face. JACKSON comes up, holding two pears]

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JACKSON: Which one looks better?

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SOOKIE: [Pointing to the one in his left hand] That one.

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JACKSON: Ha! I told you!

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SOOKIE: Told me what?

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JACKSON: That the singing and dancing works. See, the one you pointed to was the one I sang and danced for. The other one, however, has been deprived of entertainment and love. Look how measly it is!

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SOOKIE: Okay, you win.

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JACKSON: I'm going to move the operation indoors.

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SOOKIE: [Panicked] Indoors?

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JACKSON: Sure. They need a home too.

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SOOKIE: Their home is the garden.

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JACKSON: But they might get even plumper if I keep them indoors.

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SOOKIE: They look fine like that.

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JACKSON: Fine. Just fine, see. Indoors, they could look great.

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SOOKIE: They look great.

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JACKSON: You said fine.

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SOOKIE: I meant great.

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JACKSON: Lorelai, what do you think?

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LORELAI: What?

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JACKSON: About the pears. Indoors or out?

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LORELAI: Oh. Well, I don't know. I don't have to live with them if they suddenly look so great that they sprout legs and attack me in the night.

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SOOKIE: [After a pause] She wants them outdoors.

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JACKSON: She said they might sprout legs indoors!

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SOOKIE: She was being sarcastic.

[LORELAI shakes her head and walks away, starting toward RORY and LANE. Her cell rings]

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LORELAI: Hello?

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CHRISTOPHER: Lor?

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LORELAI: Hi, Chris.

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CHRISTOPHER: So, did Rory get home all right?

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LORELAI: She's still vertical.

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CHRISTOPHER: That's a good sign. Paris hasn't torn her to shreds.

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LORELAI: Nope.

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CHRISTOPHER: I wanted to run an idea by you.  
**LORELAI**: Maybe you should just jog it.

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CHRISTOPHER: What if I come down today?

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LORELAI: Today?

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CHRISTOPHER: Yeah. It'd be good to see Rory.

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LORELAI: You'll see her this weekend.

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CHRISTOPHER: I know, but I want to be a part of the welcome home committee.

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LORELAI: It's pretty big already.

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CHRISTOPHER: Could always use one more, right?

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LORELAI: [Smiles tightly and says with mock cheer] Right.

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CHRISTOPHER: Great. I'll be there in twenty minutes.

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LORELAI: Twenty minutes?

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CHRISTOPHER: Well, I started out a little earlier.

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LORELAI: What would you have done if I said no?

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CHRISTOPHER: Turned around and went back.

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LORELAI: Is Sherry coming?

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CHRISTOPHER: [Pause] Yeah.

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LORELAI: Great.

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CHRISTOPHER: We won't even come to the house if you don't want.

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LORELAI: No, no, come. We'll have to get to know her better now.

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CHRISTOPHER: Yup.

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LORELAI: Well, I'll see you soon, then.

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CHRISTOPHER: Nineteen minutes now.

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LORELAI: Bye.

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CHRISTOPHER: Bye.

[LORELAI hangs up and frowns. The la-la's start playing]

[Cut to RORY and LANE]

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RORY: We had a big fight.

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LANE: You fought with your dad?

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RORY: Yeah. It was weird. I've never done it before.

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LANE: Neither have I. Is he mad?

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RORY: Mom said he's okay. He's coming up this weekend.

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LANE: That's good then.

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RORY: Yeah. I wonder if he's bringing Sherry.

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LANE: Do you want him to?

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RORY: I don't know.

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LANE: She's nice, right?

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RORY: Yeah, she's nice. I just…now she has a whole new meaning. Before, she was just a girlfriend, but now…

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LANE: Wow.

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RORY: I know. [Looks toward the diner] Have you seen Jess around?

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LANE: Not much. He's taking summer school, so he's at the diner less.

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RORY: Is he in school now?

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LANE: [Checks her watch] Nope, it's after noon.

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RORY: Oh.

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LANE: Why?

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RORY: I was thinking about getting some coffee.

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LANE: Why wouldn't you get it now?

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RORY: Jess is there.

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LANE: So?

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RORY: [Her eyes widen] Oh, no reason.

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LANE: Are you avoiding him?

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RORY: Not exactly.

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LANE: You don't have to avoid him for Dean anymore.

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RORY: I know.

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LANE: So there's another reason you're avoiding him.

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RORY: I'm not avoiding him.

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LANE: Oops, my mistake.

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RORY: I'm not.

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LANE: Okay.

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RORY: [Pauses] When does school start?

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LANE: [Grins] Eight.

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RORY: Thanks.

[LORELAI comes over]

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LORELAI: Uh, hey, hon.

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RORY: Hi, Mom.

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LORELAI: Having fun?

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RORY: Yeah. This is amazing. All this food.

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LORELAI: Yeah, yeah. Look, there something I need to tell you.

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RORY: Now?

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LORELAI: Now. I know you weren't counting on it until this weekend…[RORY is looking over LORELAI'S shoulder]

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RORY: Dad?

[LORELAI turns around]

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LORELAI: He's coming today.

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RORY: Oh. [CHRISTOPHER and SHERRY get out of the car. RORY starts walking uncertainly toward them, looking over her shoulder at LORELAI]

[Second commercial break]

[Open to the center of Stars Hollow. RORY and CHRISTOPHER have met halfway and are standing on the edge of the park]

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CHRISTOPHER: Hey!

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RORY: Hey! [She hugs CHRISTOPHER] Hi, Sherry.

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SHERRY: Hello, Rory.

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RORY: I didn't think you two were coming up until the weekend.

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CHRISTOPHER: Well, we both had some time off at work, and we decided to help welcome you home. I see the town already has a start.

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RORY: Oh, yeah. They like their parties.

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SHERRY: How charming.

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CHRISTOPHER: Charming until you meet the people.

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RORY: Ignore him, he's just trying to scare you. They're all really nice.

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CHRISTOPHER: Just a little quirky.

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RORY: They're not that bad.

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SHERRY: Well, I'll look forward to meeting them.

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CHRISTOPHER: Where's your mom?

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RORY: [Points] She and Lane are by the food.

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CHRISTOPHER: Some things never change.

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SHERRY: Lane?

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RORY: My best friend.

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SHERRY: What an interesting name.

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RORY: She's Korean.

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SHERRY: Oh, is she adopted?

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RORY: No. [Starts walking] Come on. You have to meet her.

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CHRISTOPHER: [Taking SHERRY'S hand and following] So, do they do this for every returning war hero?

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RORY: Well, they threw an even bigger party for Mrs. Kline when she turned a hundred, so I don't think it's limited to coming-home bashes.

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CHRISTOPHER: What did they do for your sixteenth?

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RORY: Mom had that one taken care of.

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CHRISTOPHER: I bet.

[They come up to LORELAI and LANE]

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RORY: Sherry, this is my friend Lane.

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LANE: Hi.

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SHERRY: Hello. Lorelai.

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LORELAI: Sherry.

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SHERRY: It's nice to see you again.

[LORELAI just nods]

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CHRISTOPHER: How is the inn?

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LORELAI: Well, Michel is handling the guests alone, so we're in serious danger of going out of business.

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CHRISTOPHER: Not with that spiffy degree you have now.

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LORELAI: No degree could save the guests from the wrath of Michel.

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RORY: He's the craziest one in this whole town.

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LORELAI: Michel's not crazy. Just rude.

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RORY: Okay, he's the one you'd most want to avoid.

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CHRISTOPHER: The Frenchman?

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RORY: Stars Hollow's one and only.

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LORELAI: Thank God, 'cause I'd hate to see the havoc two could wreak.

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SHERRY: Wow, who catered this?

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LORELAI: Sookie.

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SHERRY: I've never heard of that company.

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LORELAI: It's not a company. It's a person. [LORELAI points to SOOKIE, who is busy at one of the tables] Right there. She's the chef at the inn.

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SHERRY: Does she do private catering?

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LORELAI: Not really. She does it as favors to people. Rory's birthdays, her wedding.

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SHERRY: She catered her own wedding?

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LORELAI: [Smiling tightly] Yes.

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SHERRY: It must have been quite a bash.

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LORELAI: Oh, it was. Trust me.

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CHRISTOPHER: Where is her husband?

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LORELAI: Jackson's at home.

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CHRISTOPHER: Was she afraid he would show up in a kilt?

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LORELAI: He's transferring his pears from the outside garden inside.

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CHRISTOPHER: Why?

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LORELAI: He thinks they'll grow legs.

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CHRISTOPHER: Okay. [To SHERRY] You want something to eat?

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SHERRY: [Looking to her stomach] I don't think we're hungry.

****

CHRISTOPHER: Okay. Hey, can I steal Rory away for a while?

****

LORELAI: Sure.

[CHRISTOPHER and RORY walk off, leaving LANE, LORELAI, and SHERRY]

****

LANE: I better go see where my mom is.

****

LORELAI: Okay. See you later, Lane.

[LANE turns and waves]

****

SHERRY: This is awkward.

****

LORELAI: Unbelievably, even more so than the first time.

****

SHERRY: I told Chris it probably wasn't a good idea for me to come with, but he insisted.

****

LORELAI: I'm fine.

****

SHERRY: I don't know if I am.

****

LORELAI: Oh.

****

SHERRY: I mean, it just seems wrong to be spending time with Rory.

****

LORELAI: Spending time with Rory?

****

SHERRY: Well, Chris meant to ask you if we could take her out to dinner tonight.

****

LORELAI: Oh. Well…

****

SHERRY: If you don't want to, that's okay. I mean, I know you two just got together again after a while…

****

LORELAI: No, it's fine.

****

SHERRY: I'm sorry to spring it on you like this.

****

LORELAI: No problem. I'll just…rent a movie or something.

****

SHERRY: Oh, God, I ruined your night.

****

LORELAI: No.

****

SHERRY: She's a good girl.

****

LORELAI: She's a great girl.

[Cut to RORY and CHRISTOPHER]

****

CHRISTOPHER: So, we had a fight.

****

RORY: Yes.

****

CHRISTOPHER: I'm not used to having fights with you.

****

RORY: Same here.

****

CHRISTOPHER: I'm sorry, Rory. I'm sorry about everything that's happened.

****

RORY: I'm sorry I yelled at you. I was just upset.

****

CHRISTOPHER: I know. I understand. [Sighs] I feel like scum. [RORY doesn't say anything] I really wanted this to work out. I was going to give it a try.

****

RORY: I believe you.

****

CHRISTOPHER: And I was thinking about it. I thought that maybe…maybe once Sherry had the baby, I could move up here, try to be with your mom.

****

RORY: Dad…

****

CHRISTOPHER: I could help her out with money, obviously.

****

RORY: I don't think that's a good idea.

****

CHRISTOPHER: Your mother wouldn't go for it?

****

RORY: She might. I don't know. But it's not fair to the kid.

****

CHRISTOPHER: I guess you're right.

****

RORY: You said you wanted to avoid what happened with me right?

****

CHRISTOPHER: Right.

****

RORY: Well, this is practically the same thing, except you're older and you can prevent it.

****

CHRISTOPHER: You're right.

****

RORY: I'm always right. I get it from Mom.

****

CHRISTOPHER: It's an infuriating habit.

****

RORY: But useful.

****

CHRISTOPHER: So where is that boyfriend of yours?

****

RORY: We broke up.

****

CHRISTOPHER: Oh.

****

RORY: It wasn't a big deal.

****

CHRISTOPHER: You were with him for a long time.

****

RORY: Yeah, almost two years.

****

CHRISTOPHER: [Laughs] I think you topped my record for longest relationship.

****

RORY: I beat Mom, too.

****

CHRISTOPHER: That's something to be proud of.

****

RORY: I'm thinking of putting it on my Harvard app.

****

CHRISTOPHER: Good idea. I hear this Jess kid is back in town.

****

RORY: [Nervous] Mom told you?

****

CHRISTOPHER: Yeah.

****

RORY: Why?

****

CHRISTOPHER: I think she's a little worried.

****

RORY: About what?

****

CHRISTOPHER: I don't know. I thought you might know.

****

RORY: I don't know. He left for New York for a while, and now he's back.

****

CHRISTOPHER: Well, keep me away from him, or he'll be Stars Hollow's Headless Horseman.

****

RORY: You can't do that.

****

CHRISTOPHER: Why not?

****

RORY: He's Stars Hollow's only juvenile delinquent. If you make him the Headless Horseman, what will we do for juvenile delinquents?

****

CHRISTOPHER: Tough call.

****

RORY: Mom and Sherry seem to be talking okay.

****

CHRISTOPHER: That's good. That's very good. Hey, Sherry and I had an idea on the way out here.

****

RORY: Like what?

****

CHRISTOPHER: We thought you might like to go out to dinner with us tonight.

****

RORY: Oh.

****

CHRISTOPHER: You can pick the restaurant.

****

RORY: Well, I don't know. It's my first night back. I think Mom might like to spend some time with me.

****

CHRISTOPHER: We'll have you back early.

****

RORY: Only if Mom's okay with it.

****

CHRISTOPHER: We'll check.

****

RORY: [Worried] Okay.

[Cut to LUKE coming out of the diner. He turns in the doorway] ****

LUKE: Don't burn the place down, okay?

****

JESS: I'll do my best.

****

LUKE: I won't be gone long.

****

JESS: Okay.

****

LUKE: Right. [He leaves and crosses the street to the party, walking up to RORY] Hey.

****

RORY: Luke! I didn't think you'd come!

****

LUKE: Welcome back.

****

RORY: Thanks.

****

LUKE: How was it?

****

RORY: Not too bad. The speakers were amazing, and I took a lot of pictures.

****

LUKE: Sounds like a good time.

****

RORY: I thought so.

****

LUKE: Your mom around?

****

RORY: She's talking to Sherry.

****

LUKE: Sherry?

****

RORY: My dad's girlfriend. They're right over there.

****

LUKE: Thanks. If you wanna come in the diner later, the coffee's on me.

****

RORY: I will. Thanks.

[LUKE nods and walks over to LORELAI and SHERRY]

****

LUKE: Hey, Lorelai, could I borrow you?

****

LORELAI: Sure. [To SHERRY] I'll be right back. [She and LUKE walk off] What's up?

****

LUKE: I thought about what you said.

****

LORELAI: When?

****

LUKE: Today. Yesterday. The day before that. Last Monday.

****

LORELAI: I get the point. And?

****

LUKE: I'm sorry that Rory got hurt. But you can't blame me.

****

LORELAI: I didn't. I wasn't thinking straight.

****

LUKE: My keeping Jess here was not directly responsible for the accident. I had an obligation to keep him. And despite what you think, he's not the devil incarnate. He genuinely cares about Rory, and he felt bad about what happened.

****

LORELAI: I know.

****

LUKE: He's back.

****

LORELAI: I know.

****

LUKE: So, if we're gonna be friends again, you have to promise not to blow up about Jess again.

****

LORELAI: I won't.

****

LUKE: And cut him and Rory a little slack. They're friends, Lorelai.

****

LORELAI: I know.

****

LUKE: Good.

****

LORELAI: Thank you.

****

LUKE: You're welcome. You want me to bring some coffee over?

****

LORELAI: Since when is that a legitimate question?

****

LUKE: Right. [LUKE turns a leaves. LORELAI watches him, smiling. SHERRY comes up. "You Don't Know Me" by Jann Arden starts playing]

****

SHERRY: You seeing him?

****

LORELAI: Luke? No.

****

SHERRY: You two looked like you were together.

****

LORELAI: We're not.

****

SHERRY: Exes?

****

LORELAI: No. Just friends.

[Cut to the Gilmore house. LORELAI, RORY, CHRISTOPHER, and SHERRY enter]

****

LORELAI: Sorry about the messiness. We didn't get a chance to clean this time.

****

CHRISTOPHER: Sadly, you thought last time was tidy.

****

RORY: You should have seen it before we cleaned.

****

CHRISTOPHER: I'm glad I was spared.

****

LORELAI: So, you guys need anything to drink?

****

SHERRY: Just the opposite, actually.

****

LORELAI: Oh, bathroom's down the hall. First door on your right.

****

SHERRY: Thanks.

[CHRISTOPHER looks at LORELAI. RORY gets the hint]

****

RORY: I'm gonna go change.

****

LORELAI: That looks fine.

****

RORY: I know, it's just, I traveled in this. It's all frumpy.

****

LORELAI: But—

****

RORY: I'll be right back.

****

LORELAI: Okay.

****

CHRISTOPHER: I have an idea to run by you.

****

LORELAI: Not again.

****

CHRISTOPHER: Sherry and I were hoping to take Rory out to dinner tonight.

****

LORELAI: Oh, yeah. Sherry mentioned that.

****

CHRISTOPHER: So, what do you think?

****

LORELAI: Fine with me.

****

CHRISTOPHER: Are you sure? Because Rory said that since it was your first night together again that you might not want to.

****

LORELAI: Well, I'm fine.

****

CHRISTOPHER: Great.

****

LORELAI: Why tonight?

****

CHRISTOPHER: We just thought it would be nice to get it out of the way.

****

LORELAI: Are you guys staying?

****

CHRISTOPHER: Until Sunday, if it's okay.

****

LORELAI: Oh, yeah, fine.

****

CHRISTOPHER: Are you sure?

****

LORELAI: I would not have said it was fine if I weren't.

****

CHRISTOPHER: Because it seems like you're angry that we're here.

****

LORELAI: I'm not angry.

****

CHRISTOPHER: You don't want us here.

****

LORELAI: I just…thought it was weird that you guys decided to change plans so fast.

****

CHRISTOPHER: We wanted to welcome Rory home.

****

LORELAI: [Sharply, finally releasing her anger] That was my job!

****

CHRISTOPHER: I know. 

****

LORELAI: No, you don't! I have been away from my best friend for six weeks, six horrible, lonely, miserable weeks of endless bad movies with no one to mock them appropriately and dinners without no one to talk to and an empty, sad house, and then you show up and think you can take her away from me.

****

CHRISTOPHER: Lor, if you don't want us to go out—

****

LORELAI: No, go! What do I care? We're supposed to conform to you, right? That's how it's always been. Chris is coming? Well, let's drop everything, because we never know when he'll come back!

****

CHRISTOPHER: Lor—

****

LORELAI: Don't "Lor" me. You come here and tell me that this is our time together and like an idiot I believe you! I listened to you, I trusted you, I gave you everything, and then you just up and leave, like you always do! You didn't even have the decency to tell your daughter to her face.

****

CHRISTOPHER: I'm sorry, Lorelai.

****

LORELAI: That doesn't matter. [LORELAI turns and leaves the room] Go have dinner.

****

CHRISTOPHER: Don't leave, Lorelai.

****

LORELAI: Why not? Seems to work for you. [LORELAI grabs her keys and slams out the front door]

[RORY comes out of her room. SHERRY comes out the bathroom. They both stand there and look at CHRISTOPHER]

****

SHERRY: Should we get going, then?

****

CHRISTOPHER: Yeah. Ready, kid?

****

RORY: Yeah.

[The three leave]

[Third commercial break]

[Cut to LORELAI in the diner]

****

LUKE: Where's Rory?

****

LORELAI: Out with Nick and Nora.

****

LUKE: Okay.

****

LORELAI: Coffee?

****

LUKE: It's brewing. I just poured the last cup.

****

LORELAI: Sure. A fine excuse.

****

LUKE: [Pours her a cup] Here you go.

****

LORELAI: Ha! I knew it.

****

LUKE: You have supernatural powers.

****

LORELAI: I need them, since the whole shower superhero thing didn't pan out.

****

LUKE: That's a shame.

****

LORELAI: Where's Jess?

****

LUKE: I gave him the night off.

****

LORELAI: That was nice.

****

LUKE: Well, he's been working his butt off here and at school.

****

LORELAI: School?

****

LUKE: Summer school. He's retrieving some lost credit.

****

LORELAI: So that's good.

****

LUKE: Yeah.

****

LORELAI: How's the school thing going?

****

LUKE: He's doing all right.

****

LORELAI: No need for a tutor?

****

LUKE: I'm getting the elbow-patch guy next time.

****

LORELAI: I told you.

****

LUKE: You were right.

****

LORELAI: I'm always right. It's freakish.

****

LUKE: Among other things.

****

LORELAI: It's part of my supernatural powers. I was even nice enough to pass it on to Rory.

****

LUKE: At least she doesn't abuse it.

****

LORELAI: You should see her exploit it when it comes to my parents. Ugh, I don't know why she likes them.

****

LUKE: Maybe she just has better taste than you.

****

LORELAI: Now, then.

****

LUKE: What do you want?

****

LORELAI: French toast.

****

LUKE: It's five o'clock.

****

LORELAI: So?

****

LUKE: French toast is usually considered a breakfast item.

****

LORELAI: When has that stopped me?

****

LUKE: Never. [He writes the order on a pad and hands it back to Caesar] I assume you trust him with French toast.

****

LORELAI: French toast, yes. Pancakes, no.

****

LUKE: Just so I have it straight.

****

LORELAI: Hey, Luke?

****

LUKE: What?

****

LORELAI: It was a good thing you did. With Jess.

****

LUKE: Thanks. You didn't do too bad either. With Rory.

****

LORELAI: Thanks.

[Cut to a Hartford restaurant]

****

CHRISTOPHER: So, how's the food?

****

RORY: Very good.

****

SHERRY: Good.

****

CHRISTOPHER: Are you sure that's the right thing?

****

SHERRY: For what?

****

CHRISTOPHER: For the baby.

****

SHERRY: It'll be okay.

****

RORY: I wonder what Mom's doing.

****

CHRISTOPHER: Do you want to go home?

****

RORY: No, we'll finish. We're out here already.

****

SHERRY: That was quite a party your mother threw you.

****

RORY: She didn't throw it. The town did. Mom said they designated part of the town meeting for it, which is on par with being in the newspaper.

****

CHRISTOPHER: Wow. You're a celebrity.

****

RORY: It's even better than the time they named the Rory Curtain.

****

CHRISTOPHER: The Rory Curtain?

****

RORY: It's a long story.

****

SHERRY: Could I have a bite of that? [Points to CHRISTOPHER'S plate]

****

CHRISTOPHER: Here.

****

SHERRY: I should have ordered this.

****

CHRISTOPHER: Do you want another plate?

****

SHERRY: No, this is fine.

****

CHRISTOPHER: [Clears his throat] Rory, the reason we wanted you to come out here with us was to discuss this…situation.

****

RORY: Okay.

****

CHRISTOPHER: The last thing we want is for you to hate us.

****

RORY: I couldn't hate you.

****

CHRISTOPHER: Well, we just really wanted you to know that I'm still here for you.

****

RORY: I'll be in college next year.

****

CHIRSTOPHER: I know.

****

RORY: So it's not really a big deal.

****

CHRISTOPHER: I guess.

****

RORY: It won't matter as much, not having you come by.

****

CHRISTOPHER: [Surprised] Yeah.

****

RORY: So you can stop worrying about it.

****

SHERRY: I'm going to the bathroom. Would you like to come, Rory?

****

RORY: [Confused] Uh, well…oh, right. Sure. [She stands up and follows SHERRY to the women's room]

****

SHERRY: I'm not trying to replace your mom.

****

RORY: If you were, it'd be a lost cause.

****

SHERRY: I know that. I just don't want you to resent me. Because the last time I was here, you seemed okay with me.

****

RORY: I was. Am.

****

SHERRY: Good. I don't want you to think of me as the person who stole your father away.

****

RORY: I don't.

****

SHERRY: I didn't get pregnant intentionally.

****

RORY: Okay.

****

SHERRY: It wasn't a ploy to get him back home. Let's face it, we'd been having some problems, and I thought we were going to break up, but then this happened, and it just threw everything off.

****

RORY: I know.

****

SHERRY: You probably don't want to hear all this, and I don't want to unload on you, but just remember that this wasn't my idea.

****

RORY: Okay.

****

SHERRY: So we're good?

****

RORY: We're good. [SHERRY starts putting on lipstick, and RORY bites her lip and watches sadly]

[Cut to the Gilmore residence. RORY enters through the front door]

****

RORY: Mom?

****

LORELAI: Living room!

[RORY walks into the living room, where LORELAI is sitting on the couch with the TV on. RORY sits by her on the sofa]

****

RORY: Hi.

****

LORELAI: Hey, babe.

****

RORY: Are you okay?

****

LORELAI: I'm fine. I'm sorry I freaked out like that.

****

RORY: It's okay. I seem to recall doing something quite similar.

****

LORELAI: I never meant to put you in the middle of my lovelife.

****

RORY: Trust me, I know.

****

LORELAI: And it really made me mad that your dad forced me to do that.

****

RORY: It's okay. What did you do tonight?

****

LORELAI: Just had dinner at Luke's and watched TV.

****

RORY: Luke's?

****

LORELAI: Yup.

****

RORY: You two made up!

****

LORELAI: We did.

****

RORY: This is so great. We can actually go and have coffee now without you looking like a secret agent, trying to sneak in.

****

LORELAI: Great, huh? So, come on, how was dinner?

****

RORY: Boring, without you.

****

LORELAI: Well, everything is. You'll learn.

****

RORY: Dad and Sherry were telling me how they didn't want me to hate them and stuff, and Sherry asked me to come to the bathroom with her.

****

LORELAI: Major league stuff, Ripkin.

****

RORY: And she was telling me how she didn't get pregnant on purpose and how Dad and her were going to break up before the baby.

****

LORELAI: She told you all that?

****

RORY: While applying makeup.

****

LORELAI: Impressive. I never pegged her to be that talented.

****

RORY: You two would probably get along if it weren't like…this.

****

LORELAI: We might. She just doesn't really seem like my type.

****

RORY: Good, cause I think she and Dad are together for a while.

****

LORELAI: Ha. Wow, it's so cool to have you back. Now when I talk, something responds, because let me tell you, the walls in this house aren't a very lively bunch.

****

RORY: HBO lies.

****

LORELAI: Yeah. These walls can't talk. All they can do is sigh because they've listened to me so long.

****

RORY: Kind of like me.

****

LORELAI: Kind of like you.

****

RORY: It's good to be home.

****

LORELAI: How many weeks until school starts?

****

RORY: Three.

****

LORELAI: How much does that suck?

****

RORY: It's not that bad.

****

LORELAI: Says you.

****

RORY: At least I won't get bored.

****

LORELAI: When have you ever gotten bored? You have a reading list like fifteen miles long.

****

RORY: I'm just saying, I don't even get the chance.

****

LORELAI: Which is the sucky part.

****

RORY: Whatever you say.

****

LORELAI: So, I noticed you didn't go to Luke's today.

****

RORY: I didn't get a chance.

****

LORELAI: Uh-huh. You're not avoiding anyone in there, are you?

****

RORY: No.

****

LORELAI: A certain someone with spiky hair, wears a lot of Metallica shirts, likes to read Hemingway and leave notes in the margins like Mark Twain?

****

RORY: No one like that.

****

LORELAI: You remember when you first kissed Dean?

****

RORY: Yeah…

****

LORELAI: You're acting a lot like that.

****

RORY: Am not.

****

LORELAI: Are too.

****

RORY: So mature.

****

LORELAI: I'm just saying, it looks weird that you're not going in there.

****

RORY: So, you think I should go in there so it won't be too obvious that I'm not avoiding anyone?

****

LORELAI: That is precisely what I'm saying.

****

RORY: You just want coffee.

****

LORELAI: Thwarted. Will you go?

****

RORY: I'll be back in twenty minutes.

****

LORELAI: Atta girl.

[RORY stands up and starts going out the door]

****

RORY: If I don't come back soon, just assume Jess and I are debating Hemingway.

****

LORELAI: Got it.

****

RORY: Bye.

****

LORELAI: Good luck, solider.

[RORY leaves. LORELAI flips channels]

[RORY enters the diner. LUKE is behind the counter]

****

LUKE: Hey.

****

RORY: Hey, Luke. Can I have four coffees? 

****

LUKE: Sure.

****

RORY: [Looking around] Is Jess here?

****

LUKE: Nope, gave him the night off.

****

RORY: Oh.

****

LUKE: Sorry he didn't come to the party.

****

RORY: Oh, no big deal.

****

LUKE: I didn't think you were expecting him or anything.

****

RORY: I wasn't.

****

LUKE: Here you go. [Hands her the coffees in a tray] Anything else?

****

RORY: Nope, that'll do it.

****

LUKE: On the house.

****

RORY: Thanks, Luke. [She smiles and leaves]

[Cut to RORY by the bridge. She turns and we see Jess sitting on the bridge. RORY smiles]

****

RORY: Hey, stranger.

****

JESS: Hi.

****

RORY: What are you doing out here?

****

JESS: Enjoying the scenery.

****

RORY: Right.

****

JESS: So, I heard you went to Washington.

****

RORY: That would explain the extended absence.

****

JESS: Yes, it would.

****

RORY: Sorry I didn't tell you about it.

****

JESS: No big deal. You weren't obligated to.

****

RORY: I just…I forgot, sort of, and then it happened so fast.

****

JESS: Don't worry about it. I figured it out.

****

RORY: We need to talk.

****

JESS: Now?

****

RORY: Well, we're both here, and it's a private location, which is a big plus in Stars Hollow.

****

JESS: I don't think now is the best time.

****

RORY: I'll make it fast.

****

JESS: Rory…

****

RORY: I'm sorry I kissed you at the wedding. I don't know what happened to me. I mean, I have never done anything like that before. I had some sort of seizure or something, and it wasn't your fault. You were just standing there and I had my seizure, and I…I'm sorry. I don't know what it meant, and I don't know if it will develop into something more, but it was a kind of catalyst for something I probably should have seen a long time ago. So, I mean, don't think that I'm ignoring you or avoiding you or anything, and I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Washington. [RORY takes a deep breath and realizes that JESS is staring over her shoulder. RORY turns and looks. A girl is standing there] Hi.

****

JESS: Rory, this is Nina.

****

RORY: Hi.

****

NINA: Hi. [RORY stands there with an uncomfortable look on her face] So you and Jess are friends?

****

RORY: Not really. "Friends" is a generous term. Really generous. We're just acquaintances. Hardly that. I eat at Luke's all the time with my mom. More of a symbiotic relationship. He gives me the coffee, I give him the money. [Silence] I'm just gonna…go now.

****

JESS: Rory…

****

RORY: No, I've embarrassed myself enough for one night. Maybe tomorrow I can babble about the food you give me. See you around. [RORY walks quickly down the bridge. She tries to wait until she's out of sight, but JESS and NINA can see her running. JESS stares after her, worried]

****

NINA: God, what a weirdo.

****

JESS: She's not that weird. She was just caught off guard.

****

NINA: She kissed you?

****

JESS: It was a mistake.

****

NINA: I see.

****

JESS: You'd like her under normal circumstances. She really likes to read.

****

NINA: Oh, well then she must be cool.

****

JESS: She is. Rory just doesn't like surprises. 

****

NINA: You know a lot about her, for a symbiotic coffee-and-food relationship.

****

JESS: [Shrugs] She and her mom come in there everyday, at least once. Usually twice.

****

NINA: I hadn't seen her around much.

****

JESS: She doesn't go to Stars Hollow High.

****

NINA: Oh, a private school girl?

****

JESS: Yeah.

****

NINA: Doesn't seem like your type.

****

JESS: We're friends.

****

NINA: I meant, your type of friend.

****

JESS: We're not really that close.

****

NINA: Didn't think so.

[Cut to the Gilmore house. RORY comes running in the door, crying]

****

LORELAI: [Standing up] Rory? [She follows RORY to her room, where RORY puts the coffees on the nightstand and flops on her bed] Rory?

****

RORY: Mom.

****

LORELAI: What happened? He wasn't there, was he? Luke said he gave Jess the night off, that's why I sent you down there.

****

RORY: He wasn't there.

****

LORELAI: Then what happened?

****

RORY: I saw him on the bridge.

****

LORELAI: What did that little punk do?

****

RORY: Nothing!

****

LORELAI: It doesn't sound like nothing.

****

RORY: Nothing happened! Nothing's ever going to happen!

****

LORELAI: Hey, maybe I should have seen Windtalkers to try and decode what you're saying.

****

RORY: I saw him on the bridge.

****

LORELAI: Where "nothing" happened, right.

****

RORY: And I was talking, babbling on and on about how I didn't mean to kiss him and everything, and I turn around…

****

LORELAI: Dean?

****

RORY: He has a girlfriend.

****

LORELAI: What?

****

RORY: He has a girlfriend. Her name is Nina and she's beautiful.

****

LORELAI: You're beautiful, honey.

****

RORY: Not like that.

****

LORELAI: Babe…

[RORY sits up and LORELAI hugs her tightly. "Nightingale" by Norah Jones starts playing]

****

RORY: I should have known he wouldn't wait for me.

****

LORELAI: Did you ever tell him about Washington?

****

RORY: No.

****

LORELAI: [Sighs] I'm sorry.

[RORY just keeps crying and puts her head on LORELAI'S shoulder. LORELAI looks out the window and frowns]

[Fourth commercial break]

[Cut to the next morning. LORELAI is sleeping when someone knocks on the door. She wakes slowly, grunts, and goes to get it. CHRISTOPHER and SHERRY are standing there]

****

CHRISTOPHER: Hey, Lor.

****

SHERRY: Hi, Lorelai.

****

LORELAI: Good morning.

****

CHRISTOPHER: We came to say goodbye.

****

LORELAI: Goodbye? I thought you were staying for a while.

****

CHRISTOPHER: We decided that we wreaked enough havoc for one visit.

****

LORELAI: Do you want to say goodbye to Rory?

****

CHRISTOPHER: If she's awake.

****

LORELAI: I'll go grab her. [LORELAI leaves and she enters RORY'S room] Babe?

****

RORY: Ugh.

****

LORELAI: Your father and Sherry are leaving.

****

RORY: What?

****

LORELAI: They're leaving.

****

RORY: Why?

****

LORELAI: Go say goodbye and find out for yourself.

****

RORY: Okay. [She gets out of bed and goes to the door, where CHRISTOPHER and SHERRY are standing] You're leaving?

****

CHRISTOPHER: Yeah, we figured we'd done enough damage.

****

RORY: You don't have to.

****

CHRISTOPHER: It's best. We'll come visit soon.

****

RORY: Thanks for welcoming me home.

****

SHERRY: You can come visit us anytime.

****

RORY: Thanks.

[CHRISTOPHER and SHERRY hug RORY. LORELAI stands in the background. She meets CHRISTOPHER'S eyes, and he looks away]

****

CHRISTOPHER: Bye.

****

RORY: Bye. [She stands at the door and waves until they leave] I'm going back to bed.

****

LORELAI: I'll go and get the coffee.

****

RORY: Good plan. 'Cause I'm not going in there, ever again. Not after last night.

****

LORELAI: Understandably. I'll be back.

****

RORY: Mom.

****

LORELAI: What?

****

RORY: Change.

****

LORELAI: Right. Good idea. [LORELAI runs up the stairs, and RORY shakes her head and goes back to her room]

[Cut to LUKE'S. LORELAI comes in]

****

LORELAI: Four coffees.

****

LUKE: Four?

****

LORELAI: Four.

****

LUKE: Won't two do you?

****

LORELAI: No.

****

LUKE: Why not?

****

LORELAI: Because Rory needs some, too.

****

LUKE: This is so unhealthy. I'm surprised she hasn't been taken by the government.

****

LORELAI: Not yet.

****

LUKE: So, why didn't she come in with you?

****

LORELAI: She's sleeping. It's early.

****

LUKE: Right.

****

LORELAI: So, how are those coffees coming?

****

LUKE: What's going on between Rory and Jess?

****

LORELAI: Nothing.

****

LUKE: Really? Because she seems a little skittish in here.

****

LORELAI: She's not skittish. Does she look like a kitten to you?

****

LUKE: When she's in here.

****

LORELAI: Fur and everything?

****

LUKE: Let's not take this metaphor too far.

****

LORELAI: There's nothing.

****

LUKE: If you're sure.

****

LORELAI: I'm sure. I mean, especially with Jess' girlfriend.

****

LUKE: Girlfriend?

****

LORELAI: You didn't know?

****

LUKE: Since when does Jess tell me anything?

****

LORELAI: Well, he has one.

****

LUKE: Good to know. [Hands her the coffees] Here you go.

****

LORELAI: Thanks.

[LORELAI leaves]

****

LUKE: Caesar, take the place for a minute. [LUKE goes upstairs and finds JESS reading] So.

****

JESS: [Not looking up] So.

****

LUKE: Anything interesting happen lately?

****

JESS: [Not looking up] Nope.

****

LUKE: Any interesting social developments?

****

JESS: [Not looking up] Nope.

****

LUKE: Okay, put the book down. [JESS puts the book down] What's her name?

****

JESS: Who's?

****

LUKE: Your girlfriend.

****

JESS: How—

****

LUKE: Lorelai.

****

JESS: Okay.

****

LUKE: So?

****

JESS: Nina.

****

LUKE: You didn't say anything.

****

JESS: You expected me to?

****

LUKE: I just thought you might like to alert me of certain developments.

****

JESS: Nope.

****

LUKE: Look, girls are a mystery to me. Just…be careful, don't have unprotected sex, don't have sex where I can see you…that sort of thing.

****

JESS: Got it.

[LUKE stands up and starts to leave. JESS picks his book up again. LUKE turns at the door]

****

LUKE: She broke up with Dean because of you.

****

JESS: What?

****

LUKE: Don't play dumb. She broke up with Dean because of you. You're breaking her heart. [JESS doesn't reply] Do you hear me?

****

JESS: Yeah.

****

LUKE: So?

[JESS doesn't reply. LUKE sighs and leaves. JESS puts his book down on his chest and sighs]

[Cut to Gilmore house, later in the afternoon. RORY is reading on the sofa when there's a knock on the door. She bookmarks her spot and goes to answer it]

****

RORY: Jess.

****

JESS: Hey.

****

RORY: What are you doing here?

****

JESS: I thought you might like some coffee.

****

RORY: I always like some coffee. [JESS hands her the coffee] Thanks.

****

JESS: Sure.

****

RORY: Why did you come out here to give it to me?

****

JESS: Needed something to do.

****

RORY: You have school.

****

JESS: Only until noon. How did you know?

****

RORY: Newspaper.

****

JESS: Ah.

****

RORY: Lane told me.

****

JESS: Huh.

****

RORY: And you have work. And Nina.

****

JESS: Well, it was a short break.

****

RORY: Okay.

****

JESS: Are you gonna let me in?

****

RORY: I thought it was a short break.

****

JESS: Long enough to come in.

****

RORY: I don't think it's right.

****

JESS: Right?

****

RORY: I mean, you know. What with all those other people.

****

JESS: What?

****

RORY: Never mind. Thanks for the coffee. I'll see you later.

****

JESS: [Holding the door] Rory, wait.

****

RORY: What?

****

JESS: Are you mad at me?

****

RORY: No.

****

JESS: Did you break up with Dean because of me?

****

RORY: See you around.

****

JESS: Rory.

****

RORY: It doesn't matter, okay? Bye. [She shuts the door and leans against it. Outside, JESS stares at her outline through the glass, then shakes his head and walks away. RORY takes a sip of the coffee and her eyes tear up. The phone rings]

****

RORY: Hello?

****

LORELAI: Hey. I just wanted to let you know that there's a wedding party here, so I'll be late.

****

RORY: Aw.

****

LORELAI: I know. We just can't coordinate schedules.

****

RORY: Is there money under the rabbi?

****

LORELAI: Yeah. Get enough pizza so I can eat when I get home.

****

RORY: Okay. Send Michel my best.

****

LORELAI: With a first-class stamp.

****

RORY: He came over.

****

LORELAI: Michel?

****

RORY: Jess.

****

LORELAI: Why?

****

RORY: He said he wanted to give me coffee.

****

LORELAI: Real coffee?

****

RORY: No, the fake kind.

****

LORELAI: He actually came, voluntarily bearing coffee?

****

RORY: Yup.

****

LORELAI: Hard to believe he's related to Luke.

****

RORY: Inconceivable.

****

LORELAI: So, did you guys talk things out?

****

RORY: No.

****

LORELAI: Oh, well. You know, sometimes, it's so hard to cut through all your crap.

****

RORY: This sucks.

****

LORELAI: I know it does. Well, I'll be home at eight-ish, and we can parse every movement he made.

****

RORY: Good.

****

LORELAI: I missed you.

****

RORY: I missed you too.

****

LORELAI: Bye.

****

RORY: Bye.

[Cut to the Inn. LORELAI, SOOKIE, and MICHEL are seated at a table with a couple]

****

WOMAN: I want to get married in the rain.

****

MAN: She wants to get married in the rain.

****

LORELAI: I heard. But, um, I don't think July is the best month to get married in the rain.

****

WOMAN: Why not?

****

MAN: Yeah, why not?

****

LORELAI: Well, it doesn't rain much in July.

****

WOMAN: Can you prove that?

****

MAN: Yeah, can you prove that?

****

LORELAI: Well, there are several meteorological records that will tell you that rain in July in Connecticut is rare.

****

WOMAN: But I want to get married in the rain.

****

MAN: She wants to get married in the rain.

****

LORELAI: Okay, I'm hearing you, and I wish I could help you, but wanting to get married in rain and wanting to married in July are two completely different things.

****

WOMAN: Is she saying that I can't get married in the rain?

****

MAN: Are you saying that she can't get married in the rain?

****

LORELAI: I'm not saying she can't. I'm saying that if she wants to get married in the rain, July isn't the best month to get married in the rain.

****

WOMAN: Who made you the expert?

****

MAN: Yeah, who made you the expert?

****

LORELAI: I'm not an expert. I'm just saying that, based on years of science, rain and July are generally not the same thing.

****

WOMAN: Oh, so you're saying I'm not good enough to get married in the rain in July?

****

MAN: Yeah, you're saying she's not good enough to get married in the rain in July?

[LORELAI just looks to SOOKIE and MICHEL and sighs. MICHEL puts his head on the table]

[Cut to RORY entering Luke's. She smiles at LANE and sits at the table]

****

RORY: Hey.

****

LANE: Hey.

****

RORY: I can't believe your mom's letting you out.

****

LANE: I haven't told her about Clyde yet.

****

RORY: Enjoy it while I can, got it.

****

LANE: So, how is it being back?

****

RORY: It's been a disaster. Dad and Sherry already left.

****

LANE: I thought they were staying through the weekend.

****

RORY: They were. But Mom and Dad had a huge fight, and I think it scared them off.

****

LANE: Are you okay?

****

RORY: Yeah. I mean, I wish it had been different, and it's weird, but I think it's good.

****

LANE: You think it's good that your mom and dad had a fight?

****

RORY: Mom's never gotten mad at him before. And I think it's time that my dad realized that he can't just come in and out as he pleases.

****

LANE: I'm glad it was positive for you.

****

RORY: Me too.

****

LANE: So, you're coming in here again.

****

RORY: I've got you to protect me.

****

LANE: Right, 'cause I look like Mr. T.

****

RORY: Well, I'm over the avoidance phase.

****

LANE: So fast?

****

RORY: I might as well face it, right?

****

LANE: Right.

[LUKE comes over]

****

LUKE: Order.

****

RORY: Coffee, burger, fries.

****

LUKE: Lane?

****

LANE: Same.

****

LUKE: Got it. [LUKE leaves. JESS puts his rag down on the counter]

****

JESS: I'm outta here.

****

LUKE: Back by ten.

****

JESS: Whatever.

[JESS goes to the door. He looks at RORY, but she looks away. He leaves]

****

LANE: She's going to freak.

****

RORY: You said that about Henry, remember?

****

LANE: It was true.

****

RORY: It ended up being worse because you never told her.

****

LANE: He was Korean and perfect. I'm going to have my work cut out for me making Clyde look remotely like a Korean doctor.

****

RORY: I'll help you with makeup.

****

LANE: I appreciate that.

****

RORY: Anytime.

****

LANE: I saw Dean.

****

RORY: Oh.

****

LANE: He has a girlfriend.

****

RORY: Seems to be a theme.

****

LANE: What?

****

RORY: Nothing.

****

LANE: Anyway, I just thought you might like to know so you don't get caught off guard.

****

RORY: Yeah, that doesn't turn out well for me.

****

LANE: I know. It could be some very ugly babbling.

****

RORY: It definitely could. [She takes a sip of coffee]

****

LANE: Hey, that MC5 album is great.

****

RORY: I'm glad you like it.

****

LANE: I'm officially done with the sixties, although Clyde said I'm missing some really great ones.

****

RORY: It's always nice to have a second opinion.

****

LANE: It is at that.

[RORY looks out the window. "Love Song for No One" by John Mayer starts playing. JESS and NINA are walking down the street. RORY stares, frowning. LUKE sees and purses his lips, then brings the food over]

****

LUKE: Anything else?

****

RORY: Nope.

****

LUKE: Sure?

****

RORY: Yeah. [She meets LUKE'S eyes] I'm sure.

[Cut to the Gilmore house. LORELAI enters through the front door. She goes into the living room, where RORY is sitting on the sofa, reading]

****

LORELAI: Hey, babe.

****

RORY: Hey, Mom.

****

LORELAI: Have a nice night?

****

RORY: I went to Luke's with Lane.

****

LORELAI: You went in?

****

RORY: I've decided to stop the whole avoidance thing.

****

LORELAI: Well, that's good. [Pause] You didn't talk to him.

****

RORY: Not a word.

****

LORELAI: Well, at least we can go in there again.

****

RORY: As long as we don't sit at the counter. You look tired.

****

LORELAI: You would be too if you just spent the last four hours with Mr. and Mrs. Abbott and Costello.

****

RORY: They aren't married yet, right?

****

LORELAI: Technicality. She wants to get married in the rain.

****

RORY: Depressing.

****

LORELAI: In July.

****

RORY: Unlikely.

****

LORELAI: And he repeats everything she says, with a "yeah" before it.

****

RORY: Annoying.

****

LORELAI: Even Sookie was starting to get frazzled.

****

RORY: Over something non-edible?

****

LORELAI: I know. They're horrible.

****

RORY: How'd the evening end?

****

LORELAI: They decided to go somewhere else that could produce rain in July.

****

RORY: Ecuador?

****

LORELAI: Hopefully.

****

RORY: And some people think the locals are crazy.

****

LORELAI: They are. These people are belligerent. We don't have many belligerent people in town.

****

RORY: Taylor.

****

LORELAI: Taylor is a downright pacifist compared to these people.

****

RORY: Wow, they must be really bad.

****

LORELAI: You wanna know something freaky?

****

RORY: Yeah.

****

LORELAI: I was actually wishing I were at dinner. It would have been better.

****

RORY: [Widens her eyes] Wow.

****

LORELAI: I know. Don't ever tell Grandma that.

****

RORY: Your secret's safe with me.

[LORELAI grins and puts her arm around RORY]

[End of episode]


	2. Requiem For a Dream

****

"Requiem for a Dream"

Disclaimer: The characters in this story are not my property. The situations are.

****

Author's Note: Written this summer as well. 

****

VOICEOVER: Previously on Gilmore Girls…

[Cut to RORY and LORELAI at the Hartford airport]

****

RORY: Was he mad?

****

LORELAI: No, he understands.

[Cut to RORY and LORELAI driving into the center of town in their Jeep]

****

LORELAI: Here we are.

****

RORY: You could have just told me.

[Cut to RORY and LORELAI at the party. RORY is looking over LORELAI'S shoulder]

****

RORY: Dad?

****

LORELAI: He's coming today.

[Cut to RORY and CHRISTOPHER]

****

CHRISTOPHER: I'm sorry, Rory. I'm sorry about everything that's happened.

****

RORY: I'm sorry I yelled at you. I was just upset.

****

CHRISTOPHER: I know. I understand. [Sighs] I feel like scum. [RORY doesn't say anything] I really wanted this to work out. I was going to give it a try.

[Cut to LUKE and LORELAI]

****

LUKE: My keeping Jess here was not directly responsible for the accident. I had an obligation to keep him. And despite what you think, he's not the devil incarnate. He genuinely cares about Rory, and he felt bad about what happened.

****

LORELAI: I know.

****

LUKE: He's back.

****

LORELAI: I know.

****

LUKE: So, if we're gonna be friends again, you have to promise not to blow up about Jess again.

****

LORELAI: I won't.

[Cut to LORELAI and CHRISTOPHER at the Gilmore house]

****

LORELAI: Don't "Lor" me. You come here and tell me that this is our time together and like an idiot I believe you! I listened to you, I trusted you, I gave you everything, and then you just up and leave, like you always do! You didn't even have the decency to tell your daughter to her face.

****

CHRISTOPHER: I'm sorry, Lorelai.

[Cut to RORY and JESS at the bridge. The la-la's start]

****

RORY: I'm sorry I kissed you at the wedding. I don't know what happened to me. I mean, I have never done anything like that before. I had some sort of seizure or something, and it wasn't your fault. You were just standing there and I had my seizure, and I…I'm sorry. I don't know what it meant, and I don't know if it will develop into something more, but it was a kind of catalyst for something I probably should have seen a long time ago. So, I mean, don't think that I'm ignoring you or avoiding you or anything, and I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Washington. [RORY takes a deep breath and realizes that JESS is staring over her shoulder. RORY turns and looks. A girl is standing there] Hi.

****

JESS: Rory, this is Nina.

[Cut to RORY and LORELAI]

****

LORELAI: [Sighs] I'm sorry.

[RORY just keeps crying and puts her head on LORELAI'S shoulder. LORELAI looks out the window and frowns]

[Open to RORY and LORELAI walking through the center of town]

****

LORELAI: They still haven't cleaned up.

****

RORY: I think they're saving it for the next festival.

****

LORELAI: The next festival is Labor Day, though. They don't usually use "Welcome Home, Rory" banners for Labor Day.

****

RORY: Stars Hollow is a unique place.

****

LORELAI: Are you saying that you're going to conquer Labor Day?

****

RORY: I don't know. If I can fit it in between Memorial Day and Veteran's Day.

****

LORELAI: You have learned well, young one.

****

RORY: [Suddenly] Where are we going?

****

LORELAI: You should have asked that question a long time ago.

****

RORY: I was following my mother, who I trust.

****

LORELAI: Good. Then keep following.

****

RORY: You are not dragging me to Luke's.

****

LORELAI: I thought you said the avoidance phase was over.

****

RORY: It was. But it's coming back now.

****

LORELAI: Like Bowie?

****

RORY: Exactly. It doesn't want to go into Luke's.

****

LORELAI: Rory, we eat there everyday.

****

RORY: You could go in. Bring me some food out.

****

LORELAI: Honey, come on. You went in with Lane.

****

RORY: I was being irrational. I hadn't spent extended periods of time with you in weeks, I didn't know what I was agreeing to.

****

LORELAI: I'll protect you.

****

RORY: Mom…

****

LORELAI: Resorting to all-out whining.

****

RORY: I'll make you extra coffee at home.

****

LORELAI: Tempting, but you'll have to steal Luke's recipe.

****

RORY: [Stops] Mom.

****

LORELAI: Look, I know you're embarrassed about whatever happened.

****

RORY: Seismically embarrassed.

****

LORELAI: But, you need to start somewhere.

****

RORY: Please, don't make me go in.

****

LORELAI: [Starts walking again] No can do. You got to run to Washington for a few weeks, but now…you're all mine.

****

RORY: God save me.

****

LORELAI: She's a relative. You have a good chance. [She enters the diner, and RORY reluctantly follows. They sit at a table and RORY looks around nervously] Not so bad, eh?

****

RORY: Considering we've been in here for a grand total of ten seconds, I'd say that, so far, it could be worse.

****

LORELAI: Ha! Listen to your wise mother.

****

RORY: The last time I listened to you, you had me convinced that the joys of alcohol were worth the pains of adulthood.

****

LORELAI: And I am absolutely right. You just have yet to—

****

JESS: What do you want?

****

LORELAI: Oh. Wow. Hi. I didn't see you come. [JESS says nothing, just stares at his order pad] Well, then, we'd like two burgers, two orders of fries, and lots of coffee.

****

JESS: Okay. [He leaves]

****

RORY: [Groans] And twenty seconds in, it goes downhill.

****

LORELAI: That wasn't so bad.

****

RORY: Not for you.

****

LORELAI: Granted, he wasn't too talkative, but he never is. Maybe he's just as embarrassed as you are.

****

RORY: He's got nothing to—

****

JESS: [Sets the coffee down] Here you go.

****

LORELAI: Thanks. [JESS leaves] Continue.

****

RORY: This is no place to have a conversation. He's lurking.

****

LORELAI: Not lurking, working. Notice the rhyme.

****

RORY: Which makes them sound too similar for my taste. That's it. We're only talking about the weather and our health.

****

LORELAI: That's very Henry Higgins of you.

****

RORY: Desperate times call for desperate measures.

****

LORELAI: I had a headache earlier this morning.

****

RORY: What?

****

LORELAI: Yeah, but I took some Advil, so I'm okay now.

****

RORY: What are you talking about?

****

LORELAI: My health.

****

RORY: Right.

****

LORELAI: Your turn.

****

RORY: Uh, well, I had a cramp in my leg when I woke up this morning.

****

LORELAI: That's tough.

****

RORY: Yeah, it was. I think I slept with my leg all crooked.

****

LORELAI: I hate it when I do that.

****

RORY: I'm just glad it wasn't a neck cramp.

****

LORELAI: Are you seeing how boring this is?

****

RORY: No.

****

LORELAI: Now you're just being stubborn.

****

RORY: Where on earth would I have gotten that from?

****

LORELAI: No clue.

****

RORY: So…does your head still hurt?

****

LORELAI: Rory, new topic.

****

RORY: Okay. Dinner tonight.

****

LORELAI: Actually, the head is fine. That Advil stuff really works, those commercials aren't kidding. I used to be a big Tylenol person, but that was before I tapped into the power of the Advil. I'm inclined to believe that it hurts my stomach less than Tylenol.

****

RORY: Are you seeing how boring this is?

****

LORELAI: No.

****

RORY: Now you're just being stubborn.

[Opening Credits]

[First commercial break]

[Open to LANE and RORY walking down the street, both carrying bags]

****

LANE: I can't believe that we have to go back to school on Monday.

****

RORY: We should protest.

****

LANE: I think our little group would have a tough time picketing at both schools.

****

RORY: Still an idea.

****

LANE: And school shopping has gotten so complicated. 

****

RORY: I know. I can't believe I actually debated for an hour between gel pens and ballpoint.

****

LANE: Only to get both.

****

RORY: Good to be prepared.

****

LANE: All you got were writing utensils.

****

RORY: I'm pretty much safe with those. The teachers are really picky about paper and stuff. One teacher claims that the white hurts his eyes, so I have to go to this special store in Hartford that sells yellow notebooks, because he hates the legal pad format.

****

LANE: You're raiding your grandfather tonight.

****

RORY: Yes I am.

****

LANE: I wish I had a grandfather to raid.

****

RORY: You do have a grandfather to raid.

****

LANE: Not unless I want to write on Korean Bibles. Which, in addition to being sacrilege, would also be hard to read.

****

RORY: Tough dilemma.

****

LANE: And I already have enough sins to worry about.

****

RORY: I thought Clyde was the only one.

****

LANE: He produces multiple sins. First, the whole boyfriend thing. Second, I'm lying to my mom.

****

RORY: Which you could easily amend.

****

LANE: And die for it.

****

RORY: At least you'd go to heaven.

****

LANE: Third, I'm disobeying my mother.

****

RORY: Clyde isn't directly responsible for that. You disobey your mother everyday.

****

LANE: But this is a big disobey.

****

RORY: The CD's aren't?

****

LANE: I could probably get parole.

****

RORY: Clyde is a life sentence?

****

LANE: Clyde is capitol punishment.

****

RORY: You must really like him.

****

LANE: [Shrugs and giggles] Yeah.

****

RORY: That is so great, Lane.

****

LANE: I know. Finally, a sharer of the Nico obsession.

[RORY and LANE walk by the market. TAYLOR comes out and corners them]

****

TAYLOR: Just the girls I was looking for.

****

RORY: Us?

****

TAYLOR: Yes, sir. I have a proposition for you girls.

****

LANE: [Whispering to RORY] Uh-oh.

****

TAYLOR: I want you two to ride on the town float!

****

RORY: What?

****

TAYLOR: For the Labor Day festival.

****

RORY: We don't have a town float, Taylor.

****

TAYLOR: Well, not yet, but I plan to hand in my designs at the town meeting tomorrow night.

****

RORY: What if it doesn't go through?

****

TAYLOR: Doesn't go through? My dear girl, it will go through.

****

RORY: Did you tap the votes?

****

TAYLOR: I wouldn't say tap.

****

RORY: You want us to ride on a parade float?

****

TAYLOR: I sure do.

****

LANE: I don't know if my mom will let me.

****

TAYLOR: I'll talk her into it.

****

LANE: I don't know if that's as easy as you make it sound.

****

TAYLOR: I have my ways.

****

RORY: Will there be other floats?

****

TAYLOR: If I can get some of these lazy bums roused up.

****

RORY: So, it's gonna be an actual parade?

****

TAYLOR: Complete with the Stars Hollow High marching band.

****

LANE: I'm in the band. I don't know if they'll let me out.

****

TAYLOR: I'm sure they can spare you.

****

LANE: There are only thirty members. It'll throw the sets off.

****

TAYLOR: Just run along. I'll take care of everything.

****

LANE: [Whispering to RORY] I don't like the sound of that.

****

RORY: Um, Taylor?

****

TAYLOR: Yes?

****

RORY: Are there any sort of special…costumes one might have to wear?

****

TAYLOR: Oh, they're going to be beauties. Red, white, and blue leotards with these wonderful red hoop skirts…you two will love them!

****

RORY: Great. See you around.

****

TAYLOR: Bye, now. Practice waving!

[RORY and LANE walk down the street]

****

LANE: Oh. My. God.

****

RORY: We have to get out of this.

[They turn the corner. JESS and NINA are walking toward them]

****

LANE: Is that…?

****

RORY: Shh!

[JESS and NINA walk by them. JESS tries to meet RORY'S eyes, but she keeps avoiding him]

****

LANE: So, that's why you were avoiding Luke's.

****

RORY: I wasn't avoiding it. I went in with my mom for lunch.

****

LANE: But I assume you're back to avoiding it.

****

RORY: Why?

****

LANE: You haven't gotten coffee, and we've been out for hours.

****

RORY: Not thirsty.

****

LANE: Rory…

****

RORY: Lane.

****

LANE: Dropping it.

[RORY and LANE walk on. RORY looks back over her shoulder, but JESS and NINA are gone]

[Cut to the elder Gilmore residence. RORY and LORELAI are standing on the steps]

****

LORELAI: Last drink. [She tips her head back to get the last of the coffee out of her cup]

****

RORY: There's no need to be so dramatic about it.

****

LORELAI: Not if you're you, the perfect child.

****

RORY: You could try my tack.

****

LORELAI: That strategy burned out about seventeen years ago.

****

RORY: I'll think about it and get back to you.

****

LORELAI: Okay, here I go. Ringing the bell.

****

RORY: You're getting brave.

****

LORELAI: I still refuse to do it without gloves.

****

RORY: You're not wearing gloves.

****

LORELAI: I have a Kleenex in my hand.

****

RORY: Sneaky.

[The maid opens the door and lets them in. EMILY is sitting in the living room]

****

EMILY: Hello, hello, hello! Rory, welcome home! [EMILY gets up and hugs RORY]

****

RORY: Hi, Grandma.

****

EMILY: You must tell me everything.

****

RICHARD: [Entering] Not so fast. I do believe I want to hear this too.

****

RORY: Everything was amazing. The sites were great.

****

RICHARD: Washington is a lovely city.

****

RORY: The speakers were very informative. Paris insisted on taking notes about everything.

****

RICHARD: Very detail-oriented, that girl.

****

RORY: She was writing down the fabrics the speakers were wearing.

****

RICHARD: My, that's observant.

****

RORY: Did you guys get my postcards?

****

RICHARD: We certainly did. They were lovely.

****

EMILY: I'm having Barbara frame some of them.

****

RICHARD: I'm going to hang them in my study.

****

EMILY: Right next to his pictures of Prague.

****

RORY: Wow.

****

RICHARD: Now, how was your lodging?

****

RORY: Well, we were in dorm rooms. Nothing lavish, but…

****

RICHARD: Ah, you will need to develop a taste for them. [RICHRAD and EMILY look at each other. LORELAI frowns]

****

LORELAI: What was that about?

****

EMILY: What was what about?

****

LORELAI: That evil look.

****

EMILY: Richard nor I had an evil look on our faces.

****

LORELAI: You traded an evil glance. Like on Rocky and Bullwinkle.

****

EMILY: Pardon me?

****

LORELAI: Never mind.

****

EMILY: Dinner's ready.

****

RICHARD: Let's eat.

****

LORELAI: I concur.

****

RICHARD: After the world traveler.

****

RORY: Thank you very much.

[They go into the dining room]

****

EMILY: I had Gina prepare pizza.

****

LORELAI: What?

****

EMILY: Gina has prepared pizza for dinner.

****

LORELAI: You're joking.

****

EMILY: Do I look like I'm joking?

****

LORELAI: No, but then again, I never can tell.

****

EMILY: I am not joking.

****

LORELAI: Why?

****

EMILY: Well, I knew that Rory enjoyed pizza, and I thought it would be nice for her to have something special tonight.

****

RICHARD: Yes, very special.

****

LORELAI: Okay, you two know something we don't. I demand to be informed.

****

RICHARD: In a bit, Lorelai. After supper.

****

RORY: Is it good?

****

RICHARD: Oh, it's very, very good.

****

RORY: I can't wait.

****

EMILY: Ah, here it is. It has seven different cheeses on it, all from different countries.

****

RORY: Cool!

****

LORELAI: A worldly pizza. Does it talk?

****

EMILY: Excuse me?

****

LORELAI: Nothing. How many languages does it know?

****

EMILY: Rory, I choose to talk to you now. Tell us everything!

****

RORY: Well, there isn't that much to tell. We got there, and they directed us to our room, and then it was all lectures and workshops from there on out. Well, except for a couple of days where we got to sightsee and take pictures.

****

RICHARD: Did you have a suitable camera?

****

RORY: I just bought disposable ones when I needed them.

****

RICHARD: Disposable?

****

RORY: They're convenient. Mom was afraid I'd lose the real thing.

****

RICHARD: Are you sure they take acceptable pictures?

****

LORELAI: I had one at my graduation. Remember, Dad?

****

RICHARD: Washington is a once-in-a-lifetime trip.

****

LORELAI: Uh, it's just a couple hundred miles away. We could go this weekend if we wanted to.

****

RICHARD: You should have better prepared Rory for her trip.

****

RORY: I was fine, Grandpa. The pictures will be fine.

****

LORELAI: Yeah, now the only thing we have to worry about is the fact that Kirk is developing them.

****

RORY: Right.

****

RICHARD: You sent the film to a poor developer?

****

EMILY: Who would like seconds?

****

RORY **and LORELAI**: Me!

****

EMILY: Pizza seems to be a big hit.

****

LORELAI: We love pizza.

****

EMILY: Rory told me.

****

LORELAI: Leaking secrets?

****

RORY: They finally got it out of me.

****

LORELAI: After I told you to protect it with your life?

****

RORY: Sorry. They have techniques you can't begin to imagine.

****

LORELAI: Oh, no, I think I have a pretty good idea.

****

EMILY: Eat your pizza, Lorelai.

****

LORELAI: Okay.

[Cut to later that night. The whole family is in the living room]

****

RICHARD: Now, as I've said, your grandmother and I have some interesting news to tell you.

****

LORELAI: Goody.

****

RICHARD: This concerns Rory.

****

LORELAI: So, you never did find those Prada boots?

****

RICHARD: Rory.

****

RORY: Yes.

****

RICHARD: You have been excited about college for some time now.

****

RORY: Oh, yeah. Mom and I have been planning this for a long time.

****

RICHARD: Post-secondary education is the most important education a person can receive. It prepares them for the real world and exposes them to a plethora of other cultures and people they may never find otherwise. My own college experience was the finest time of my life.

****

RORY: I know.

****

RICHARD: My college experiences were at Yale.

****

RORY: I know.

****

RICHARD: I enjoyed it immensely. And I think you will as well.

****

LORELAI: Will?

****

RICHARD: Rory, I have arranged for you to attend Yale next fall, after you graduate.

[Silence]

****

RORY: Wow.

****

LORELAI: You did what?

****

RICHARD: I sent her recommendations to Dean Whitley and he pulled a couple of strings. She's in.

****

LORELAI: I don't believe this.

****

EMILY: Wonderful, isn't it? It's so nice to keep families at the same school.

****

LORELAI: Wonderful? This isn't wonderful.

****

RICHARD: Lorelai.

****

LORELAI: No. I told you months ago that Rory had her heart set on Harvard.

****

RICHARD: She's too young to be deciding such things!

****

LORELAI: No, she's not, Dad. She wants to go to Harvard. That's it. No where else. And then you come in here and do something completely unnecessary that I asked you not to do in the first place, and now she's going to feel obligated to go to Yale.

****

RORY: Mom.

****

LORELAI: She's going to feel like she has to go to Yale because you pushed her into it, because she would never want to let you down, ever, because Rory's just like that. So she's going to abandon her dream and go to the school you want her to go to, just because you felt the need to use your influence.

****

RICHARD: I will not listen to this tirade.

****

LORELAI: You won't have to. Come on, Rory.

[LORELAI storms out of the room. RORY stands there uncertainly]

****

RORY: Thank you, Grandpa.

****

RICHARD: Goodnight, Rory.

[He leaves]

****

RORY: Goodnight, Grandma.

****

EMILY: Goodnight, dear.

[RORY leaves]

[Cut to RORY and LORELAI in the Jeep. LORELAI has her lips pursed, obviously angry]

****

LORELAI: I cannot believe he would do something like this.

****

RORY: He was just trying to help.

****

LORELAI: No he wasn't. He was trying to undermine me.

****

RORY: Mom, come on. Grandpa thought he was doing the right thing.

****

LORELAI: Rory, your grandfather and I had this discussion months ago. I told him you were going to Harvard and that was that.

****

RORY: I don't have to go to Yale. It's something to fall back on now.

****

LORELAI: You'll go to Yale.

****

RORY: How do you know?

****

LORELAI: I know because you're you, and you would never want to disappoint your grandfather like that. Which is why I'm totally hating him right now. He cornered you.

****

RORY: It could be worse.

****

LORELAI: How?

****

RORY: I don't know. At least he didn't wrangle me into…the University of South Dakota or something.

****

LORELAI: I should have known he'd never listen to me. He was so hell bent on getting you into his alma mater.

****

RORY: You can't be mad at him.

****

LORELAI: I can't be mad at him? Because he disregarded my word concerning my child? Because he deliberately did something I specifically asked him not to? Why can I not be mad at him?

****

RORY: He's trying to help.

****

LORELAI: No, he's not, Rory.

****

RORY: Mom, he's just trying to make sure that I go to a good school.

****

LORELAI: You will go to a good school—Harvard! You're a dead lock; we know you'll get in. Why are you sticking up for him so much anyway?

****

RORY: Because I think you're being a wee bit harsh.

****

LORELAI: A wee bit harsh?

****

RORY: Yes. I think you're completely misunderstanding his motives. 

****

LORELAI: And what are his motives?

****

RORY: Maybe…maybe he's just making sure that if this Harvard thing doesn't pan out that I don't get stuck going to a lesser school because I had such tunnel vision.

****

LORELAI: I doubt it.

****

RORY: I still say that's what he's doing.

****

LORELAI: Do you ever fail to see the good?

****

RORY: Nope. That's why I can live with you.

****

LORELAI: Whew.

[LORELAI pulls up to Luke's. RORY gets a nervous look on her face]

****

RORY: Do we have to?

****

LORELAI: I'll strike you a deal.

****

RORY: Okay.

****

LORELAI: You stop avoiding Luke's, and I'll try to grit my teeth and not kill Grandpa.

****

RORY: Fine. [Mumbles] Guerilla tactics.

[They go into Luke's. RORY looks around, but JESS isn't there. She and LORELAI pick a table, and LUKE comes over]

****

LUKE: Pie?

****

LORELAI: How did you know?

****

LUKE: You've got the pie look on your face.

****

LORELAI: What look is that?

****

LUKE: Desperate, vaguely angry.

****

LORELAI: I have a pie look.

****

RORY: I heard.

****

LUKE: What kind?

****

LORELAI: Apple.

****

RORY: Me too.

****

LORELAI: With ice cream.

****

RORY: And whipped cream.

****

LORELAI: And cheese.

****

RORY: Gross. Hold the cheese on mine.

****

LUKE: Let me get this straight. You want apple pie a la mode with ice cream and whipped cream?

****

LORELAI: Yup.

****

LUKE: That is disgusting.

****

RORY: I'm not having it.

****

LUKE: Thank God for you. [He walks away]

[JESS comes down from upstairs, but neither LORELAI nor RORY notices]

****

RORY: Did I tell you that Taylor wants Lane and I to ride on Labor Day float?

****

LORELAI: Since when is there a Labor Day float?

****

RORY: Since now.

****

LORELAI: Seriously?

****

RORY: Do I look serious?

****

LORELAI: Frighteningly, yes. When did this happen?

****

RORY: Today. Lane and I were shopping for school supplies, and Taylor asked us. He said there's going to be a vote at the town meeting tomorrow.

****

LORELAI: So there's a chance it might not go through?

****

RORY: He tapped the votes.

****

LORELAI: Ruthless.

****

RORY: And we have to wear red, white, and blue leotards with red hoop skirts.

****

LORELAI: You're joking!

****

RORY: I wish.

****

LORELAI: I am so taking the camera.

****

RORY: Not disposable, I hope.

****

LORELAI: No, I've learned my lesson.

[She and RORY giggle. JESS has been listening from behind the counter. Zoom in on JESS with a thoughtful look on his face]

[Second commercial break]

[Open to Luke's the next day. LORELAI walks in, dressed for work. She walks up to the counter where JESS is working]

****

LORELAI: Hey.

****

JESS: Hello.

****

LORELAI: I need a super-duper-caffeine-loaded cup of coffee.

****

JESS: Will regular work?

****

LORELAI: I suppose.

****

JESS: I need to brew a new pot.

****

LORELAI: I'll wait. [She sits on a barstool. There are no other customers, so JESS is forced to wait with her] So, Jess, how was your summer?

****

JESS: Fine.

****

LORELAI: I hear you took summer school.

****

JESS: Yup.

****

LORELAI: Good idea.

****

JESS: Luke thought so.

****

LORELAI: Why did you move back?

****

JESS: [Shrugs] Just wanted to.

****

LORELAI: I don't buy it.

****

JESS: Free country.

****

LORELAI: You came back here for Rory.

****

JESS: Believe what you want to.

****

LORELAI: You came back here for Rory, and she broke up with Dean because of you.

****

JESS: Huh.

****

LORELAI: Don't give me any crap. Rory broke up with someone who loved and respected her because of you. Tell me you don't know that. [JESS says nothing] And now you're breaking her heart. [JESS still says nothing] Why? [JESS shrugs and fills her coffee]

****

JESS: Here.

****

LORELAI: [Sets the cup on the counter] Rory is a great girl. Whatever little hussy you're dating now has nothing on her. So if you want to keep splitting her heart into a million little pieces, that's fine. But you should know that even with Rory, there is such a thing as too late. [LORELAI grabs her coffee, slams some money on the counter, and marches out of the diner. LUKE passes her at the door]

****

LUKE: What the hell is wrong with her?

****

JESS: Search me.

****

LUKE: You say something to her?

****

JESS: Nope.

****

LUKE: Well, you must have, because you're the only person in the diner.

****

JESS: You're in here now.

****

LUKE: Jess, what did you say?

****

JESS: I didn't say anything, okay?

****

LUKE: I don't buy it.

****

JESS: Geez, people are really abusing their rights today.

****

LUKE: What?

****

JESS: Never mind. I'm taking my break.

****

LUKE: Not now.

****

JESS: No?

****

LUKE: No. You need to tell me what you said to Lorelai.

****

JESS: Why does it matter?

****

LUKE: Because she and I just made up again.

****

JESS: Lovers' quarrel?

****

LUKE: And I don't need her mad at me again, especially because of you.

****

JESS: I didn't say anything.

****

LUKE: And you expect me to believe that?

****

JESS: I don't care. I'm going on break. [He leaves. LUKE sighs]

[Cut to RORY and LORELAI walking through the supply store]

****

LORELAI: I thought you said that you and Lane bought everything.

****

RORY: I forgot some things.

****

LORELAI: You already have Wite-Out.

****

RORY: But not in the convenient pen shape.

****

LORELAI: Right. Why do you need paper clips? We have them at home.

****

RORY: I need some for my backpack.

****

LORELAI: So put some in a baggie.

****

RORY: No guarantee they won't spill.

****

LORELAI: How about a safe?

****

RORY: Too heavy to carry around.

****

LORELAI: You do not need tape.

****

RORY: I do so. It's always crowded around the tape dispenser and it detracts from my working time.

****

LORELAI: I'm assuming that you're using the same principle when buying that stapler?

****

RORY: Correct.

****

LORELAI: You are a mystery to me. I'm going to the pen aisle. [She takes the basket]

****

RORY: Fine. I have to pick out the right size and color. [LORELAI leaves, shaking her head]

[LUKE and JESS enter. RORY doesn't notice. JESS walks up behind her]

****

JESS: Tough decision?

****

RORY: [Jumps and gasps] You surprised me!

****

JESS: I have a tendency to do that.

****

RORY: [Shortly] Yup.

****

JESS: So, school shopping?

****

RORY: Yup.

****

JESS: I'm surprised you aren't done by now.

****

RORY: Nope.

****

JESS: Somebody's feeling friendly today.

****

RORY: Who?

****

JESS: You.

****

RORY: I guess.

****

JESS: Where's your mom?

****

RORY: Picking out pens.

****

JESS: You're trusting her?

****

RORY: Not for me. [She selects a stapler] I have to go.

****

JESS: Rory, wait. [RORY stops and waits] Are you ever going to be nice again?

****

RORY: Maybe. [She leaves and goes up to the counter, pays for the stapler, and goes out the door. JESS follows her]

****

JESS: I think you'd be pleased to know that—

****

RORY: Look, can we do this later? I have to meet Lane.

****

JESS: It'll be quick.

****

RORY: Just…tell me later or something.

****

JESS: How can I?

****

RORY: Open mouth, speak words.

****

JESS: I mean, you're avoiding me.

****

RORY: Where'd you get that idea?

****

JESS: Look, just listen.

****

RORY: I have to go. [She turns and runs down the sidewalk. LORELAI come out of the store with a bag]

****

LORELAI: What did you say to her?

****

JESS: Nothing.

****

LORELAI: Then why is she running down the street?

****

JESS: In a hurry.

****

LORELAI: She wasn't in a hurry before.

****

JESS: Look, don't think I'm going to interpret her every move. I was trying to tell her something and she ran away.

****

LORELAI: Something like what?

****

JESS: Something between Rory and I.

[LUKE comes out]

****

LUKE: What the hell happened to you? I'm not picking out your notebooks.

****

JESS: Fine. [He brushed past LUKE and goes inside. LORELAI shakes her head and goes in the direction RORY ran]

****

LUKE: [Calling after her] Lorelai!

****

LORELAI: What?

****

LUKE: What happened?

****

LORELAI: [Turns around and shrugs] Guess I'll find out. [She starts walking away again]

[Cut to Gilmore residence. LORELAI comes through the front door. RORY is in the kitchen, packing her backpack]

****

LORELAI: Here's your stuff.

****

RORY: Thanks.

****

LORELAI: What happened?

****

RORY: Nothing.

****

LORELAI: Really? Because running down the street is a pretty good indication that something happened. [She spots the stapler on the table] You bought that?

****

RORY: I wasn't thinking straight. [She picks the clunky black thing up and puts it in her backpack]

****

LORELAI: Did you remember staples?

****

RORY: We have some here.

****

LORELAI: When is the last time we used a stapler?

****

RORY: I don't know, but I'll find some.

****

LORELAI: Good luck with that. If we have staples, they're buried under a pile of something-or-other, decaying.

****

RORY: Metal doesn't tend to decay quickly. [She starts walking around the kitchen, trying to find staples]

****

LORELAI: My point exactly.

****

RORY: Whatever.

****

LORELAI: Please tell me what happened.

****

RORY: Why?

****

LORELAI: So I know whether or not to beat the crap out of him.

****

RORY: You don't have to beat the crap out of him.

****

LORELAI: Sure? Because I might have a different opinion.

****

RORY: Take it from the horse's mouth. You don't need to.

****

LORELAI: I'd like to judge for myself.

****

RORY: He just…he said "hi," in the stapler aisle. He followed me outside. He was trying to tell me something, but I ran away.

****

LORELAI: Rory, sit down. [RORY stops rummaging around and sits at the table with her mom] Do you like him?

****

RORY: [Nervous] I don't know.

****

LORELAI: Don't worry about me being mad. Just answer.

****

RORY: Yes.

****

LORELAI: Then maybe you shouldn't run away.

****

RORY: He was just going to tell me that nothing's going to happen.

****

LORELAI: How do you know?

****

RORY: I just do.

****

LORELAI: Maybe he was trying to tell you that he thinks you're the most wonderful person on the face of the earth and he wants to marry you.

****

RORY: First of all, Jess wouldn't say that. Second of all, I'm seventeen, and this is Connecticut, not Colorado.

****

LORELAI: Ignore the wording. If you really like him, give him a chance to say something.

****

RORY: He probably hates me.

****

LORELAI: He doesn't hate you.

****

RORY: How do you know?

****

LORELAI: Because you don't move back to a town you hate for someone you don't like.

****

RORY: If he likes me so much, why is he going out with Nina?

****

LORELAI: You're sure they're going out?

****

RORY: Sure enough.

****

LORELAI: Honey, he was hurt. You kissed him, ran away, broke up with Dean, and left for six weeks without telling him.

****

RORY: Why do you suddenly not care if I like him?

****

LORELAI: Because I'd rather have you tell me about him than not. I hate that you keep secrets about him. If you tell me, I won't be as mad. I just want to know what's going on.

****

RORY: Okay.

****

LORELAI: Okay? You'll give him a chance?

****

RORY: The next time he approaches me.

****

LORELAI: Atta girl.

****

RORY: I need to find those staples.

****

LORELAI: Just go back to the store.

****

RORY: Okay.

[RORY gets up and leaves. LORELAI sits at the table and smiles]

[Cut to RORY walking home, swinging a bag. She walks across the bridge and almost doesn't notice JESS, sitting on the edge. She pauses a moment, then sits next to him]

****

JESS: [Surprised] Hey.

****

RORY: Hey.

****

JESS: Third trip today?

****

RORY: I had to get staples for my stapler.

****

JESS: Ah.

****

RORY: Why are you out here?

****

JESS: I told you. I like it out here.

****

RORY: Sorry. Just can't get it through my brain that you like a place in Stars Hollow.

****

JESS: It's got some good memories.

****

RORY: Luke pushing you in the lake.

****

JESS: Our picnic.

****

RORY: [Giggles] I can't believe you ate that stuff. What did it taste like?

****

JESS: I'll spare you.

****

RORY: Thanks.

****

JESS: Why aren't you running home?

****

RORY: [Shrugs] Don't know. Just wanted someone to talk to, I guess.

****

JESS: 'Bout what?

****

RORY: [Pauses, considering] My mom and grandparents are in a fight.

****

JESS: And you feel…

****

RORY: Guilty.

****

JESS: Why?

****

RORY: I kind of brought it on.

****

JESS: Oh.

****

RORY: My grandpa got me into Yale.

****

JESS: You want to go to Harvard.

****

RORY: Mom was so mad.

****

JESS: You aren't?

****

RORY: [Shrugs] I've been…never mind. 

****

JESS: Okay.

****

RORY: I've been thinking that maybe I should try a different school. [She looks to JESS briefly; he just stares back] I've been so determined to go to Harvard since…before I can remember. I just…never mind. [She stands up] I better get going. Mom will think I bought the whole store.

****

JESS: Which you are liable to do.

****

RORY: [Starts to go, but turns around] Wait, what were you going to tell me earlier?

****

JESS: [Thinks] Nothing.

****

RORY: Oh. Okay. See you later.

****

JESS: [Softly] Bye.

[Cut to RORY and LANE in the center of town. RORY is wearing her Chilton uniform]

****

RORY: I can't believe Taylor got that vote to go through.

****

LANE: He had to glare at an awful lot of people.

****

RORY: So I guess this means we're stuck with the parade gig.

****

LANE: The paper will get it all. We'll never live it down.

****

RORY: This sucks.

****

LANE: How was school?

****

RORY: School. Paris is already hounding me about the Washington article. Sometimes I hate being the top writer.

****

LANE: I wouldn't mind.

****

RORY: She keeps going on and on about how I'll never get it finished in time. I mean, I'm practically done, and there's still another two weeks until the first issue.

****

LANE: How're the new people?

****

RORY: They're nice.

****

LANE: Good.

****

RORY: How was Stars Hollow?

****

LANE: Same. Same boring teachers and boring people.

****

RORY: You have cheer practice tonight, right?

****

LANE: Oh, yeah. Three straight hours of Cindy Smite going on and on about her new hair stylist.

****

RORY: Maybe you should try them. Gives you something to aspire to.

****

LANE: Funny.

****

RORY: Meet me after for coffee?

****

LANE: Sure. Where?

****

RORY: Um, I'll meet you at the school.

****

LANE: You just want to see the freak show.

****

RORY: Yup.

****

LANE: You're pathetic.

****

RORY: I sure am.

****

LANE: See you tonight?

****

RORY: Later.

[RORY walks the opposite way LANE does, past a bunch of signs advertising the Labor Day festival. RORY throws her cup in the trash can, by a sign asking for help on the float. She makes a face and walks away]

[LORELAI is standing at the desk at the inn. The phone rings. She looks for MICHEL, but he isn't there, so she picks it up]

****

LORELAI: Independence Inn.

****

RICHARD: Ah, Lorelai.

****

LORELAI: Hello, Dad.

****

RICHARD: I am calling to…apologize about our little spat.

****

LORELAI: Okay.

****

RICHARD: I would like to say that I am sorry.

****

LORELAI: Okay.

****

RICHARD: And I hope you accept my apology.

****

LORELAI: Okay.

****

RICHARD: Why are you being so obstinate?

****

LORELAI: I'm not.

****

RICHARD: The only thing you've said this entire conversation has been, "Okay."

****

LORELAI: I also said, "Independence Inn," and, "Hello, Dad."

****

RICHARD: Hardly conversational.

****

LORELAI: I thought this was your apology.

****

RICHARD: It is.

****

LORELAI: Because it's sounding like a criticism to me.

****

RICHARD: It's not.

****

LORELAI: Roger Ebert? Are you still there?

****

RICHARD: What?

****

LORELAI: Never mind.

****

RICHARD: Do you accept?

****

LORELAI: You know, I made a deal with Rory. I told her that I would be civil to you. But I'm finding that a little hard now, Dad.

****

RICHARD: And why so?

****

LORELAI: You took my kid's dreams and in thirty seconds, tore them to shreds.

****

RICHARD: I hardly did that, Lorelai.

****

LORELAI: I beg to differ.

****

RICHARD: I—

****

LORELAI: I specifically told you that Rory wanted to go to Harvard. I told you that your help was unwanted. I told you that Rory knows what she's doing.

****

RICHARD: She's seventeen, Lorelai.

****

LORELAI: She has every bit the right to choose her college as you do. You said it yourself, post-secondary education is the most important.

****

RICHARD: It is.

****

LORELAI: Then you should let Rory choose for herself.

****

RICHARD: She doesn't know what she wants.

****

LORELAI: She knows exactly what she wants.

****

RICHARD: Because you told her what she wants.

****

LORELAI: Excuse me?

****

RICHARD: You drilled Harvard into her brain until she didn't realize that it hadn't been her own idea.

****

LORELAI: The obsession is all hers.

****

RICHARD: But who planted the seed?

****

LORELAI: What's so bad about planting the seed?

****

RICHARD: Rory will do whatever you tell her to.

****

LORELAI: You're saying that I pushed my daughter to this?

****

RICHARD: I'm saying that you're accusing me of being so awful, when I am merely doing the same thing you have done.

****

LORELAI: I have to go, Dad. [She hangs up and sighs]

[Third commercial break]

[Open to LORELAI walking into the kitchen at the inn. SOOKIE is puttering around]

****

LORELAI: Ugh.

****

SOOKIE: Something wrong?

****

LORELAI: Yale.

****

SOOKIE: Yale?

****

LORELAI: Dad wrangled Rory into Yale.

****

SOOKIE: That's good! That's…not good.

****

LORELAI: Rory doesn't want to go to Yale! She wants to go to Harvard. But try telling my dad that.

****

SOOKIE: Not good?

****

LORELAI: Not good. God, this makes me so mad. I told him, I told him when he came here not to tamper with it. But no, Mr. Power and Influence here just needed to test out the old juices again.

****

SOOKIE: Do you really think he was being so selfish? He could have been trying to help.

****

LORELAI: No, no. My parents do not try and help. They sabotage.

****

SOOKIE: Maybe you're being a little dramatic.

****

LORELAI: Or maybe I'm not being dramatic enough. I mean, I don't want Rory to have to go to a college through obligation. That was me; that's not her. I want her to choose her future.

****

SOOKIE: What if she chooses Yale?

****

LORELAI: She wants Harvard.

****

SOOKIE: But what if she changes her mind?

****

LORELAI: She won't. [Looks at what SOOKIE'S making] Those are some nice-looking pears.

****

SOOKIE: He won.

****

LORELAI: They're really in the house?

****

SOOKIE: Oh, yes. He gets up twice a night to sing to them.

****

LORELAI: What does he sing?

****

SOOKIE: Some show tunes. A few originals.

****

LORELAI: Originals?

****

SOOKIE: Oh, yes.

****

LORELAI: You have a tape recorder, right?

****

SOOKIE: Even better: a camcorder.

****

LORELAI: Our contribution to the Labor Day Festival, ladies and gentlemen.

****

SOOKIE: It'll be better than Kirk's movie.

****

LORELAI: Now let's not get ahead of ourselves. We can't live up to that stellar directing.

****

SOOKIE: What are you gonna do?

****

LORELAI: [Sighs, the Jackson movie forgotten] I don't know.

[Cut to RORY at the inn. She walks up to the front desk, where MICHEL is sitting in his chair]

****

RORY: Hey, Michel.

****

MICHEL: What are you doing here? You will scare the guests away.

****

RORY: No, I wouldn't take your job. Is my mom here?

****

MICHEL: She and Sookie are in the kitchen.

****

RORY: Thanks.

****

MICHEL: I do it all for you. [He sits back and closes his eyes. RORY goes into the kitchen]

****

RORY: Hey.

****

LORELAI: Hey, kid! So, first day.

****

RORY: Paris has reverted to her evil ways.

****

LORELAI: Didn't brainwash her well enough?

****

RORY: It would take cult desensitization to make Paris a truly nice person.

****

LORELAI: Well, at least you tried.

****

RORY: Hey, Lane and I were going to meet for coffee after her cheer practice, okay?

****

LORELAI: Sure. You're going into Luke's?

****

RORY: I said I would if you would be nice to Grandpa.

****

LORELAI: Oh. Yeah.

****

RORY: Is there some reason I shouldn't uphold my end?

****

LORELAI: No.

****

RORY: Sure?

****

LORELAI: Yeah.

****

RORY: Because I haven't seen you be mean.

****

LORELAI: Good, 'cause I haven't.

****

RORY: Good.

****

LORELAI: Yes, good.

****

RORY: So, I'll probably be home about six-ish.

****

LORELAI: That's fine. Think you'll eat at Luke's?

****

RORY: Why?

****

LORELAI: I need to know how much Chinese to order.

****

RORY: I'll eat leftovers.

****

LORELAI: I'm thinking…most of the chicken column and a ton of eggrolls.

****

RORY: Sounds good to me.

****

LORELAI: Good.

****

RORY: So, I'll see you later.

****

LORELAI: Yeah. Later.

[RORY leaves]

****

SOOKIE: You made a deal with her?

****

LORELAI: You know Rory. She wouldn't want me to alienate my parents.

****

SOOKIE: Well, good, 'cause you haven't done that on your own. [SOOKIE stirs a pot for a minute] Why would she avoid Luke's?

****

LORELAI: Let's just say that your wedding was the surprise party of the year.

****

SOOKIE: Okay.

[Cut to RORY walking up to the school. She waits outside, by a couple of girls]

****

GIRL **#1**: God, these practices are so stupid.

****

GIRL #2: I know. They just make my hair frizzy.

****

GIRL #1: Cindy Smite said that her hairstylist gave her some special, like, hairspray or something.

****

GIRL #2: She is such a liar. Her hair was just as frizzy as ours.

****

GIRL #1: Just because she's the squad captain, she thinks she can trick us.

****

GIRL #2: Who's that? [She points to RORY]

****

GIRL #1: Never seen her before.

****

GIRL #2: I wonder if she goes here.

****

GIRL #1: Why is she just sitting there?

****

GIRL #2: What a freak.

****

GIRL #1: Oh my God, did you hear?

****

GIRL #2: Hear about what?

****

GIRL #1: You know Nina? Nina Fink?

****

GIRL #2: Gothic herself?

****

GIRL #1: And her boyfriend? That weird guy?

****

GIRL #2: Oh yeah. Works at that diner.

****

GIRL #1: They totally broke up.

[RORY looks shocked]

****

GIRL #2: Oh my God. When?

****

GIRL #1: Saturday.

****

GIRL #2: How do you know?

****

GIRL #1: Nina told Kara, who told Marcie, who told Jen, who's my sister's best friend's cousin.

****

GIRL #2: God, you get all the good stuff.

****

GIRL #1: I heard it was totally messy.

****

GIRL #2: Do tell.

****

GIRL #1: Someone else.

****

GIRL #2: How would either of them find someone else?

****

GIRL #1: God, who knows. Oh, there's my sister. Let's go.

[The two girls leave, passing RORY on the steps. RORY stands up and looks ready to bail when LANE comes out]

****

LANE: Sorry about that. I was trying to convince Cindy that anything Toni Basil sings is out of style for cheers…are you okay?

****

RORY: I'm fine.

****

LANE: You don't look fine.

****

RORY: Appearances can be deceiving.

****

LANE: Whatever you say.

****

RORY: Um, so. Should we go?

****

LANE: Yeah.

[RORY and LANE start walking toward Luke's]

****

RORY: How was it?

****

LANE: Well, I have a new squad, because now I'm a football cheerleader.

****

RORY: As opposed to…

****

LANE: A basketball cheerleader.

****

RORY: Sorry.

****

LANE: Well, it is difficult to explain to others.

****

RORY: So, now instead of "Shoot!" you yell…

****

LANE: That's what we were trying to figure out, but everyone was on and on about some hairstyle or something.

****

RORY: Less frizz.

****

LANE: What?

****

RORY: The miracle hairstyle supposed yields less frizz than the regular hairstyle.

****

LANE: Where did you get that?

****

RORY: I have my ways.

****

LANE: I bow down to you. [RORY and LANE enter Luke's and sit at a table] So, the avoidance phase is over again? More of a Gerri Halliwell?

****

RORY: I made a deal with my mom.

****

LANE: What kind of deal?

****

RORY: Well, I promised to come into Luke's if she didn't bite my grandfather's head off.

****

LANE: About Yale?

****

RORY: Yeah.

****

LANE: You still don't want to talk about it?

****

RORY: [She glances behind the counter, where JESS is wiping] Um, not yet.

****

LANE: I'm here.

****

RORY: I know.

[JESS comes over]

****

LANE: Two coffees. [She looks to RORY] Right?

****

RORY: Fine. What are you going to have?

****

LANE: Two coffees.

****

JESS: Okay. [He leaves]

****

LANE: You two still in the Cold War?

****

RORY: It's a mildly warm war now.

****

LANE: Good.

****

RORY: Yeah. Good. 

****

LANE: [In background] So, this whole music thing. Cindy was like, "We have to cheer to 'Mickey' this year," and I was trying to tell her that…[RORY looks over to JESS, but he doesn't see her. Finally, he looks up and meets her eyes; RORY looks down after a second and starts listening to LANE]

[Cut to Gilmore house. RORY comes in through the front door. LORELAI is in the kitchen, on the phone]

****

LORELAI:…No, I don't want long-distance, I want…Look, I called you people for my bank statement. No, for the seventh time, I haven't received it yet. I know I didn't close the account—what? No. No, I don't need a home equity loan. Well, you wouldn't give it to me a few months ago. That's not the point. The point is that I need my bank statement. No, I don't want to access it online. I want it in the mail. Are you a telemarketer? Because I don't want anything having to do with anything other than my bank statement. It's your problem to ship it out to me quarterly. What? No, you know what? This is it. I can't handle this. Cancel my account. No, really, cancel it. I know I said that I didn't want t cancel it, but now I do. Well, what can I say? I love switching banks. Well, how does one go about closing an account? A different number? You know, you people are truly deceiving. I thought you were just a nice little local bank. [Pause] Okay, here's the deal. I am not calling another number. Nope, I'm not. You cancel my account, right now. [Pause] Thank you! [LORELAI hangs up] Hey, babe.

****

RORY: Hey, Mom.

****

LORELAI: Damn banks.

****

RORY: What happened?

****

LORELAI: They're late with my statement, and I've been trying to tell them that for the past twenty minutes, ten of which I was put on hold for, and eight more of which, the lady was trying to sell me everything but a moon rock and rabbit's foot.

****

RORY: So, are they shipping it out?

****

LORELAI: Nope.

****

RORY: What? Why not?

****

LORELAI: Because I cancelled my account. We're going to a different bank.

****

RORY: But what about Margie?

****

LORELAI: We'll have to find a different Margie.

****

RORY: There is no guarantee we will find a Margie.

****

LORELAI: We just gotta let it go, babe. How was coffee?

****

RORY: Fine.

****

LORELAI: Fine? Just fine?

****

RORY: Just fine.

****

LORELAI: Did you see any freaky cheers?

****

RORY: Nope.

****

LORELAI: Really?

****

RORY: I tried. That's why I met Lane at the school, but practice was already over.

****

LORELAI: Bummer. Well, next time.

****

RORY: I think I can go into Luke's though.

****

LORELAI: Even without our deal?

****

RORY: I think so.

****

LORELAI: Good.

****

RORY: Good?

****

LORELAI: Yeah.

****

RORY: Why is that good?

****

LORELAI: Because I don't want you to become dependent on me to make you stop avoiding things.

****

RORY: You yelled at him.

****

LORELAI: I didn't raise my voice.

****

RORY: Mom!

****

LORELAI: Aren't you the least bit angry about this? [RORY says nothing] Rory?

****

RORY: I don't know.

****

LORELAI: Harvard is your dream!

****

RORY: Mom?

****

LORELAI: What?

****

RORY: I think…I think Harvard might be your dream.

[LORELAI looks stunned]

****

LORELAI: What?

****

RORY: I think that…I don't know. I've been considering other colleges for a while now.

****

LORELAI: Why didn't you tell me?

****

RORY: I knew you'd be mad.

****

LORELAI: I would not have been mad.

****

RORY: You've wanted me to go to Harvard for so long.

****

LORELAI: I thought you wanted to.

****

RORY: I did…do. But…

****

LORELAI: But?

****

RORY: It's so far away from home. [She looks to LORELAI to gauge her reaction. LORELAI says nothing] Yale is a lot closer.

****

LORELAI: Wow.

****

RORY: I'm so sorry, Mom.

****

LORELAI: No, I'm sorry. I can't believe…I need to go.

****

RORY: What? Where?

****

LORELAI: I just need to take a walk for a minute, okay? [She walks over and kisses Rory on the head] I love you.

****

RORY: I love you, too.

****

LORELAI: I'll be back soon, okay?

****

RORY: Okay.

[LORELAI leaves through the back door. RORY sits on a kitchen chair. Camera zooms in on her face, looking forlorn. Fade to commercial]

[Fourth commercial break]

[Open to LORELAI banging on Luke's door at the diner]

****

LUKE: What are you doing here? What did Jess do?

****

LORELAI: Nothing. He didn't do anything.

****

LUKE: What's wrong?

****

LORELAI: I just…[She puts her hand on her forehead] I'm turning into my parents.

****

LUKE: What?

****

LORELAI: You know Rory.

****

LUKE: About your height, brown hair, blue eyes? I might have seen her before.

****

LORELAI: My dad got her into Yale.

****

LUKE: But…

****

LORELAI: That's what I thought. I yelled at him, I screamed at him, I went on and on, waylaid him.

****

LUKE: Not smart.

****

LORELAI: Not smart. Now, Rory's rethinking things.

****

LUKE: But, she wants to go to Harvard.

****

LORELAI: That's what I thought! But now, she's telling me that she wants to go to Yale, that she's been thinking about it for a while. She's been thinking about it!

****

LUKE: So…

****

LORELAI: So, she didn't tell me!

****

LUKE: Well.

****

LORELAI: And all this time, I'd been going on and on about Harvard…Harvard this, Harvard that, and I was just pressuring her into something she didn't want to do!

****

LUKE: Lorelai, come on.

****

LORELAI: I thought that's what my dad was doing. I thought he was unfairly making her do something out of obligation. But really, that's what I was doing, all these years. She felt forced to go to Harvard.

****

LUKE: I'm sure that's not true. Did she say that?

****

LORELAI: No.

****

LUKE: Well, then, she didn't feel forced.

****

LORELAI: I mean, what if she had gone, and then she hated it, but she thought she had to stay there for my sake?

****

LUKE: She wouldn't do that.

****

LORELAI: She would! I mean, you know Rory. She's so great and sweet, and she doesn't ever want to disappoint anyone, ever.

****

LUKE: Rory has a mind of her own.

****

LORELAI: But…

****

LUKE: Just calm down. So she wants to go to a different school. At least she told you before it was too late.

****

LORELAI: She didn't, though. I mean, now I've chewed out my dad, and there's a very real possibility that she will go to Yale, and he'll be all gloaty.

****

LUKE: So?

****

LORELAI: What do you mean, "So?"

****

LUKE: At least she'll be happy.

****

LORELAI: [Considers] You're right. I don't know what I was thinking.

****

LUKE: Good.

****

LORELAI: Sorry.

****

LUKE: Well, what are friends for?

****

LORELAI: Coffee?

****

LUKE: [Sighs] I'll brew a new pot.

****

LORELAI: [Seriously] Thank you.

****

LUKE: [Seriously] You're welcome.

[LORELAI sits on the barstool]

****

LORELAI: So, where's Jess?

****

LUKE: He went for a walk.

****

LORELAI: It's been suspiciously quiet in this town.

****

LUKE: Well, I told him that if he wanted to stay, he'd have to tone it down.

****

LORELAI: So, he really wants to stay?

****

LUKE: He's toned it down.

****

LORELAI: I guess he does.

****

LUKE: You need to thank Rory for me if you get the chance.

****

LORELAI: Why?

****

LUKE: Well, Jess has started doing a lot better in school, and I can't help but think she's responsible. 

****

LORELAI: Wow.

****

LUKE: Elbow patch guy loses again.

****

LORELAI: Hard for him to get a leg up.

****

LUKE: [Pours her a cup] Here you go. Sure you don't want a syringe and a mirror to go with that?

****

LORELAI: If you've got it, sure.

****

LUKE: Hopeless.

[TAYLOR bangs on the door. LUKE groans and goes to open it]

****

TAYLOR: [Stepping inside] Luke, this is it!

****

LUKE: What are you talking about, Taylor?

****

TAYLOR: That nephew of yours has gone too far!

****

LUKE: What'd he do?

****

TAYLOR: He destroyed the town float!

****

LUKE: How do you figure?

****

TAYLOR: Who else would have the audacity to destroy what is sure to become a city landmark!

****

LUKE: Landmark? What are you going to do, dip it in bronze and set it outside your store?

****

TAYLOR: That float means a lot to the people to Stars Hollow!

****

LUKE: Well, build another one.

****

TAYLOR: There's only a few days until the festival!

****

LUKE: Well, then, guess you're out of luck.

****

TAYLOR: Lucas, I am ashamed of you.

****

LUKE: Shucks.

****

TAYLOR: This will be heard about at the next town meeting! [TAYLOR leaves. LUKE shakes his head and shuts the door after him]

****

LORELAI: At least he's using his powers for the greater good.

[Cut to the Gilmore house. RORY is sitting on the front porch, staring out into nowhere. **JESS** walks up]

****

JESS: Hey.

****

RORY: [Listlessly] Hey.

****

JESS: No book?

****

RORY: Too dark.

****

JESS: [Coming up the steps] Mind if I join you?

****

RORY: Go ahead.

****

JESS: [Sits down] Something wrong?

****

RORY: Just…thinking.

****

JESS: Yeah?

****

RORY: I don't think I'm going to Harvard.

****

JESS: Okay.

****

RORY: My mom's really upset.

****

JESS: At least you're going to college.

****

RORY: You could change that.

****

JESS: If I wanted to.

****

RORY: See?

****

JESS: But I don't.

****

RORY: You took summer school.

****

JESS: To graduate.

****

RORY: No other reason?

****

JESS: No other reason.

****

RORY: Are you going to take the SAT?

****

JESS: Nope.

****

RORY: Not even going to try? You don't have to apply. It's just a test.

****

JESS: Why take a test I don't have to?

****

RORY: I wish I could say that.

****

JESS: You could.

****

RORY: I want to go to college. Just…not Harvard.

****

JESS: Why not?

****

RORY: What?

****

JESS: Why not?

****

RORY: Oh. Well. Yale is closer to home. That means a lot to me. And I've done a little research. It just seems better suited to me.

****

JESS: Aren't all the Ivy Leagues pretty much the same?

****

RORY: No. They all have their own personality.

****

JESS: [Skeptically] Right.

****

RORY: They do!

****

JESS: Sure.

****

RORY: [Pause] Why did you come over here?

****

JESS: [Shrugs] Bored.

****

RORY: That's all?

****

JESS: I just…wanted to.

****

RORY: [Smiles] Good logic.

****

JESS: [Smiles back] It's worked so far.

[RORY'S smile fades as she realizes what he's saying. Slowly, JESS leans in and kisses her. RORY puts her hands on his arms and kisses him back. When they break apart, RORY smiles at him, and he smiles back]

****

RORY: Maybe it's not such bad reasoning.

[JESS grins, and they kiss again. LORELAI comes around the corner of the drive and sees them on the loveseat, kissing. She backs up just a little, frowns; her expression fades into a thoughtful look and she tilts her head]

[End of episode]


	3. The Wind

****

"The Wind" 

****

Disclaimer: The characters in this story are not owned by me. The situations are mine, however.

****

Author's Notes: Again, written this summer and based on preliminary spoilers. Those spoilers are now, obviously, void.  
  
[Open to Luke's. RORY walks through the front door; LORELAI is sitting at a table by the window. RORY goes over and joins her]   
**LORELAI**: Hey.   
**RORY**: Hey.   
**LORELAI**: Wow.   
**RORY**: What?   
**LORELAI**: You're not wearing plaid.   
**RORY**: I do occasionally take it off.   
**LORELAI**: I thought it was like your 'NSync shirt. I can barely get that thing off you to put through the laundry.   
**RORY**: Yes, well, I was beginning to stink, so I took it off.   
**LORELAI**: And let me tell you, I am glad for that. Where's your backpack?   
**RORY**: At home.   
**LORELAI**: I thought we were going to have to get it surgically removed.   
**RORY**: Luckily, no. Because that would cost a lot.   
**LORELAI**: And it might be painful. So, what's with the lack of plaid and back wear?   
**RORY**: I finished my Franklin article, and I only have three pages left of my AP Euro Lit essay that's due Monday, so I thought I'd give it a rest.   
**LORELAI**: Good.   
**RORY**: Good?   
**LORELAI**: Yeah. I was getting tired of having to search for you through all your papers. I mean, I would hear your voice replying, but all I would see would be paper and textbooks and highlighters.   
**RORY**: Perhaps you were talking to the books.   
**LORELAI**: But they were answering me.   
**RORY**: That's my point.   
**LORELAI**: Mean girl.   
**RORY**: Yes, well.   
**LORELAI**: You look different.   
**RORY**: Fly ball into left field...   
**LORELAI**: No, you look different. I'm trying to peg it.   
**RORY**: Maybe it's the lack of plaid.   
**LORELAI**: No. [She sips her coffee] Anything interesting happening lately?   
**RORY**: If there were, I would have told you.   
**LORELAI**: Well, we haven't gotten to talk much lately.   
**RORY**: Well, what do you want to know?   
**LORELAI**: You tell me.   
**RORY**: Okay. Paris is so relieved that I have my article done that she's actually being civil in our Physics group. Brad is back, and he got stuck with Paris as a lab partner, which sucks for him. Um...Louise and Madeline are trying to get Paris to instate a fashion column in the Franklin. That's it.   
**LORELAI**: That's all school stuff.   
**RORY**: You're implying that my life is more than that.   
**LORELAI**: What about...people?   
**RORY**: See, that whole rant about school? That included many people.   
**LORELAI**: Other people.   
**RORY**: Like Lane?   
**LORELAI**: Kind of.   
**RORY**: Well, she hasn't told Mrs. Kim about Clyde yet.   
**LORELAI**: Ah. So...anything else? [She pauses meaningfully]   
**RORY**: Mom, there's something you want to know. Just come out and say it.   
**LORELAI**: Rory-   
[JESS comes over. He looks briefly at RORY; she meets his eye for a second, then attempts nonchalance]   
**JESS**: You want anything?   
**LORELAI**: Cheeseburgers.   
**JESS**: And tea?   
**LORELAI**: Ha. Funny.   
**JESS**: Fries?   
**LORELAI**: Duh.   
**JESS**: Okay then. [He glances at RORY one more time and leaves]   
**LORELAI**: Now-   
**RORY**: Hey, wait.   
**LORELAI**: What?   
**RORY**: Did you make up with Grandpa yet? Because we have to go to dinner there tomorrow night.   
**LORELAI**: Let's turn the conversation back to you now.   
**RORY**: I told you all my interesting stuff. Mom, come on.   
**LORELAI**: I'm just trying to digest this still, okay?   
**RORY**: Can you make up and digest?   
**LORELAI**: That would that a lot of coordination. Remember what happened in yoga?   
**RORY**: That wasn't a lack of coordination, per se.   
**LORELAI**: Um, I fell over.   
**RORY**: A lack of balance, therefore.   
**LORELAI**: Well, I can't make up and digest. It would throw my balance off.   
**RORY**: That's only assuming one weighs more than the other.   
**LORELAI**: The making up weighs about two times more than the digesting.   
**RORY**: Mom...   
**LORELAI**: I'm working on it.   
**RORY**: I don't want to sit through one of those dinners.   
**LORELAI**: "Those" dinners?   
**RORY**: You know. Where Grandma tries to fill space that is usually occupied by you babbling, and Grandpa will hardly say one word to anyone.   
**LORELAI**: I happen to enjoy those dinners.   
**RORY**: You do not.   
**LORELAI**: How do you know?   
**RORY**: There's nothing to mock.   
**LORELAI**: The food.   
**RORY**: Nope.   
**LORELAI**: [Sighs] I'll get on it.   
**RORY**: Good.   
[She sneaks a look at JESS; he sees her looking at him and smiles. She bites her lip and turns back to LORELAI, who has seen the whole thing. LORELAI frowns and looks out the window]   
[Opening credits]   
[First commercial break]   
  
  
[Cut to LORELAI at the inn. She's in the kitchen with SOOKIE, coffee in hand]   
**SOOKIE**: You look tired.   
**LORELAI**: I'm not tired.   
**SOOKIE**: You've drunk three more cups of coffee than average.   
**LORELAI**: I'm thirsty.   
**SOOKIE**: Nope, this is avoidance.   
**LORELAI**: Excuse me?   
**SOOKIE**: When you're upset about something, your coffee ingestion falters. When you're sad, it goes down, when you're avoiding something stressful, it goes up.   
**LORELAI**: Wow.   
**SOOKIE**: I'm thinking of writing a thesis on it.   
**LORELAI**: The next Pavlov.   
**SOOKIE**: So?   
**LORELAI**: I don't know. I still haven't made up with my dad.   
**SOOKIE**: Oh.   
**LORELAI**: Yeah. And Rory is trying to force me to.   
**SOOKIE**: She has a-   
**LORELAI**: I need an ear, not a Furby.   
**SOOKIE**: Got it.   
**LORELAI**: And...   
**SOOKIE**: There's an and! I knew this was way too much coffee!   
**LORELAI**: I think Rory and Jess are dating.   
**SOOKIE**: What?   
**LORELAI**: Yeah. I mean, after that kiss at your wedding-   
**SOOKIE**: Kiss?   
**LORELAI**: They kissed at your wedding.   
**SOOKIE**: And she broke up with Dean.   
**LORELAI**: And then Jess got a girlfriend.   
**SOOKIE**: And he broke up with her.   
**LORELAI**: And then I found them on the porch, kissing.   
**SOOKIE**: And you didn't say anything?   
**LORELAI**: I was waiting for her to say something to me.   
**SOOKIE**: That did not work well when Dean was new.   
**LORELAI**: But, we made an agreement.   
**SOOKIE**: You abused your half of the Grandfather agreement.   
**LORELAI**: But Rory never abuses her half of agreements.   
**SOOKIE**: Think she's afraid to tell you?   
**LORELAI**: I told her I was fine with the Jess thing if she would only tell me.   
**SOOKIE**: Why don't you ask her about it?   
**LORELAI**: I've tried.   
**SOOKIE**: Tried?   
**LORELAI**: I hinted.   
**SOOKIE**: Maybe you need to throw it at her. Not hint.   
**LORELAI**: Probably. I just...I don't want this to...resemble anything having to do with my parents and my upbringing. I don't want her to be scared to tell me things, and I don't want to force them out of her.   
**SOOKIE**: Well...   
**LORELAI**: Ugh.   
**SOOKIE**: More coffee?   
**LORELAI**: Definitely.   
**SOOKIE**: I knew there was an and.   
**LORELAI**: So, how's everything at home? Applied to be on "The Newlywed Game" yet?   
**SOOKIE**: Jackson is still insisting on growing the produce inside. [giggles] But the good thing is, I have carrots at my fingertips.   
**LORELAI**: Just what I've always dreamed of.   
**SOOKIE**: And I'm slowly training him to load the dishwasher. My initial diagram wasn't detailed enough. And I've also added some hypotheticals, like, what if there's two big pots, several salad plates, and a ton of glasses, but no special baking ware.   
**LORELAI**: I myself have often wondered what to do in such a situation.   
**SOOKIE**: [Looks over to LORELAI and frowns] You finished that cup already?   
**LORELAI**: [Holds out her cup] There's an and.   
  
  
[Cut to RORY and JESS at the bridge, kissing. JESS pulls away, and RORY smiles at him; he returns it]   
**JESS**: This bridge just gets better and better.   
**RORY**: I can push you in the water if it'll make it more memorable.   
**JESS**: Maybe in a little.   
**RORY**: Hey, when do you have to be at the diner?   
**JESS**: Why?   
**RORY**: I don't want to make you late.   
**JESS**: So you haven't told her yet.   
**RORY**: [Lowers her eyes] No.   
**JESS**: When are you going to?   
**RORY**: It's just...hard. First the Yale thing, now this...   
**JESS**: Okay.   
**RORY**: You're not mad?   
**JESS**: No.   
**RORY**: Have you told Luke?   
**JESS**: Must be some strange fumes around this lake.   
**RORY**: Nope.   
**JESS**: We're even.   
**RORY**: Not really. I didn't expect you to tell Luke.   
**JESS**: No?   
**RORY**: You're not that close.   
**JESS**: Not really.   
**RORY**: Hey, I forgot to ask...did you listen to the Pixies CD?   
**JESS**: Oh, yeah. Good stuff.   
**RORY**: [Triumphantly] I told you.   
**JESS**: You win.   
**RORY**: That was a disappointingly easy victory.   
**JESS**: You'd have me argue with you?   
**RORY**: I like arguing.   
**JESS**: [Chuckles] Oh, yeah. You're combative.   
**RORY**: I like arguing with you.   
**JESS**: I'm that special, huh?   
**RORY**: Well, I never really liked arguing with Dean.   
**JESS**: Because you couldn't use words containing more than two syllables?   
**RORY**: [Gives him a dirty look] Because we couldn't argue over literature and music.   
**JESS**: That too.   
**RORY**: [Suddenly] You never answered my question.   
**JESS**: Which?   
**RORY**: Diner?   
**JESS**: Five.   
**RORY**: What time is it?   
**JESS**: [Checks his watch] Quarter to five.   
**RORY**: We should go.   
**JESS**: I'll walk you home.   
**RORY**: It'll make you late.   
**JESS**: My being on time will be more suspicious than my being late.   
**RORY**: True. [She stands and JESS takes her hand]   
**JESS**: So, have you told Lane?   
**RORY**: No, not yet. I haven't really seen much of her lately.   
**JESS**: Took up a new hobby?   
**RORY**: You could say that.   
**JESS**: Paris?   
**RORY**: The city?   
**JESS**: Have you told her?   
**RORY**: [Giggles] Oh, yeah, she's the person I run to with all my news.   
**JESS**: So, no one.   
**RORY**: I'm sorry.   
**JESS**: Don't worry about it. I just want to get it straight.   
**RORY**: It has nothing to do with you.   
**JESS**: Yes it does.   
**RORY**: Well, I mean...[sighs] It has to do with...your reputation.   
**JESS**: Uh-huh.   
**RORY**: I mean, it's hard to tell people when they see who they think you are, and I see something entirely different.   
**JESS**: Right.   
**RORY**: And I will tell them eventually.   
**JESS**: Of course.   
**RORY**: [Pauses and looks at him] You're mocking me.   
**JESS**: Oh, yeah. Rory, I'm not offended.   
**RORY**: I will get to it.   
**JESS**: I know.   
[They stop in front of her house]   
**RORY**: Call me?   
**JESS**: Not afraid of your mother answering?   
**RORY**: See, there you go with that mocking thing again.   
**JESS**: Yup. [He leans over and kisses her] Bye.   
**RORY**: Bye.   
[She watches him leave, a smile on her face, then turns and goes inside. LORELAI is at the kitchen table]   
**LORELAI**: Hey! You're home late.   
**RORY**: I dropped by the bookstore.   
**LORELAI**: [Not buying it] Ah. Find anything?   
**RORY**: Nope.   
**LORELAI**: I can't believe you went to the bookstore and didn't find anything.   
**RORY**: Such things have happened.   
**LORELAI**: Not to you.   
**RORY**: Well, I did see the hardcover of Catcher in the Rye that I've been wanting for a while, but it was too much.   
**LORELAI**: So, that's all you did?   
**RORY**: I'm only forty-five minutes late.   
**LORELAI**: Right, but...   
**RORY**: What's so suspicious about me going to the bookstore?   
**LORELAI**: You just seem awfully defensive about an innocent thing.   
**RORY**: And you are starting to sound like you need an interrogation lamp and some bad coffee in front of you.   
**LORELAI**: Rory-[phone rings] I'll get it. [Picks up from under stack of papers] Hello?   
**PARIS**: Is Rory there?   
**LORELAI**: Hang on. [Hands phone to RORY] It's for you.   
**RORY**: Who?   
**LORELAI**: One guess.   
**RORY**: Oh. [To PARIS] Hello?   
**PARIS**: We need to talk about your article.   
**RORY**: You said-   
**PARIS**: I was too rushed to parse it properly. There are some discrepancies in here.   
**RORY**: Like what?   
**PARIS**: You stated that the lecture on the Electoral College system of voting was a one o'clock on the fourteenth when it was at one-thirty.   
**RORY**: No one is going to care or know the difference.   
**PARIS**: If you're going to report facts, report the right ones.   
**RORY**: Fine. What else?   
**PARIS**: You didn't provide enough detail on the lecturers.   
**RORY**: Paris.   
**PARIS**: People need to know every second of this trip.   
**RORY**: They don't want to.   
**PARIS**: It's their money. They want to know it's being spent wisely.   
**RORY**: It's their parents' money. They don't care.   
**PARIS**: Whose newspaper is this?   
**RORY**: Fine, go on.   
**PARIS**: You need to involve details about clothing, speaking style, all that.   
**RORY**: Oh, God.   
**PARIS**: I'm assuming you took notes on that.   
**RORY**: That was you.   
**PARIS**: Harvard doesn't accept journalism majors who can't take detailed notes.   
**RORY**: [Pause] Right.   
**PARIS**: So, are you gonna revise it or what?   
**RORY**: Yeah, I'll work on it.   
**PARIS**: You only have a week until deadline now.   
**RORY**: Oh, yeah. I know. It'll be done.   
**PARIS**: Good. So, Lit paper.   
**RORY**: I'm close.   
**PARIS**: Close? I had it done yesterday.   
**RORY**: That's ambitious.   
**PARIS**: I assumed you would have taken the same tack.   
**RORY**: I'm still working. And it's not due until Monday.   
**PARIS**: That's what slackers say.   
**RORY**: Paris, slackers do not discuss Lit papers after school hours.   
**PARIS**: Whatever. Look, just get the article done, okay?   
**RORY**: I will.   
**PARIS**: Then I'll see you tomorrow.   
**RORY**: Yup.   
**PARIS**: Bye.   
**RORY**: Bye. [RORY hangs up the phone]   
**LORELAI**: Sounded like fun.   
**RORY**: It was. I have to redo part of my article.   
**LORELAI**: Oh?   
**RORY**: Yeah. Paris says that there needs to be more detail in it.   
**LORELAI**: That girl is going to write those annoying articles. The ones where you don't bother to read past the first three paragraphs because you can't absorb that much information.   
**RORY**: Definitely. So, is our fight over?   
**LORELAI**: [Haltingly] Yeah.   
**RORY**: Good. I'm gonna go work. [She takes the phone with her]   
**LORELAI**: You need the phone to work?   
**RORY**: If Paris calls again-which you know will happen-I need to be able to find the phone.   
**LORELAI**: Another crack at my housekeeping!   
**RORY**: They do come so easily.   
**LORELAI**: Go, scram. [Waves her hand]   
**RORY**: Bye. [She goes in her room and shuts the door, then sits on the far corner of the bed and dials] Luke? Is Jess there? [Cut to LORELAI on the other side of the door. She frowns and walks away]   
  
  
[Cut to elder Gilmore residence. RORY and LORELAI are standing outside]   
**RORY**: You're going to be nice, right?   
**LORELAI**: Only if you remembered that hammer for me to hit myself over the head with.   
**RORY**: Are you going to be nice without the hammer?   
**LORELAI**: I'll try.   
**RORY**: Good.   
[EMILY comes to the door]   
**EMILY**: Come in.   
**LORELAI**: No maid?   
**EMILY**: I had to fire Sheila today.   
**LORELAI**: Wouldn't give you her firstborn?   
**EMILY**: She seemed to have a little trouble distinguishing which cheese to go with which wine.   
**LORELAI**: I was close.   
**EMILY**: Well, get in. [RORY and LORELAI come inside] Your father is in his study.   
**LORELAI**: Is he eating with us?   
**EMILY**: That's a silly question, Lorelai. Of course he is.   
**LORELAI**: Just...making sure.   
**RORY**: Uh, so, have you been looking at replacements?   
**EMILY**: Well, there was a lovely French girl that would be splendid, but unfortunately, she only speaks French.   
**LORELAI**: Dad speaks French.   
**EMILY**: Well, your father is not around all day, dear.   
**RORY**: Maybe you could teach her some basic phrases.   
**EMILY**: I want a maid, not a pupil.   
**LORELAI**: Yeah, 'cause teaching is so low.   
**EMILY**: Lorelai.   
**LORELAI**: Right.   
**EMILY**: Drink?   
**LORELAI**: Gin.   
**EMILY**: Coke, Rory?   
**RORY**: Yes, please.   
[EMILY fills the drinks at the sideboard and hands them to RORY and LORELAI]   
**EMILY**: How's school, Rory?   
**RORY**: It's fine. The newspaper is keeping me very busy.   
**EMILY**: Why, I can imagine. And your office?   
**RORY**: It's not too much now, but the school year just started.   
**EMILY**: Well, I'm sure it will be wonderful.   
**RORY**: Oh, yeah. Me too.   
[RICHARD comes in]   
**RICHARD**: Hello, Rory. [Coldly] Lorelai.   
**LORELAI**: Richard.   
**RICHARD**: How is school, Rory?   
**RORY**: It's fine. I'm waiting for my vice presidential office to turn into something.   
**RICHARD**: Well, vice president is a very strange office.   
**RORY**: Indeed it is.   
**RICHARD**: Paris is president, correct?   
**RORY**: Yes, that's right.   
**RICHARD**: Smart girl.   
**LORELAI**: She's going to Harvard.   
**RICHARD**: [Gives her a withering look]   
**EMILY**: Dinner must be ready by now.   
**RICHARD**: Where is that maid?   
**EMILY**: I fired her.   
**RICHARD**: Ah.   
**EMILY**: Well, let's go. [She and RICHARD link arms and walk into the dining room. RORY glares at LORELAI and follows without waiting for her. LORELAI shrugs, finishes her drink, and goes into the dining room]   
  
  
[Cut to Gilmore Jeep after dinner]   
**RORY**: Why did you say that?   
**LORELAI**: What?   
**RORY**: You know what. The Harvard thing.   
**LORELAI**: Rory, I am still angry. You might not be, but I am.   
**RORY**: I don't think it's fair.   
**LORELAI**: Neither do I. Just...leave it alone, okay?   
**RORY**: Whatever.   
**LORELAI**: You're still considering Harvard, right?   
**RORY**: I don't know.   
**LORELAI**: What?   
**RORY**: I don't know if I'm going to apply.   
**LORELAI**: What? What is this crazy talk?   
**RORY**: I told you a while ago that I wasn't sure if I was going at all.   
**LORELAI**: But, I mean, why not apply?   
**RORY**: What's the point?   
**LORELAI**: So, you're not considering it.   
**RORY**: I guess not.   
**LORELAI**: You've really got your heart set on Yale?   
**RORY**: Look, I just...I think that I could be successful at Yale just as much as Harvard.   
**LORELAI**: Taking the easy road?   
**RORY**: Excuse me?   
**LORELAI**: You've got Yale, so you're not going to try for Harvard?   
**RORY**: That's not it, and you know it! I'm going to Yale, okay? I decided.   
**LORELAI**: Have you given this any thought?   
**RORY**: Who are you talking to?   
**LORELAI**: When did you decide?   
**RORY**: A few days after Grandpa told us.   
**LORELAI**: So, you're just willing to abandon Harvard like this?   
**RORY**: If you've got your heart so set on it, you apply.   
**LORELAI**: I don't think they accept 33-year-old ex-debutantes with 18-year-old daughters.   
**RORY**: Worth a try.   
**LORELAI**: You know, I think you should give Harvard a shot.   
**RORY**: You know, I think you're doing it again.   
**LORELAI**: Doing what?   
**RORY**: Turning your dream into mine.   
**LORELAI**: I might have gone there.   
**RORY**: But you didn't.   
**LORELAI**: And you better be damn thankful for that, or you wouldn't be here.   
**RORY**: Whose fault would that be?   
**LORELAI**: What the hell has gotten into you?   
**RORY**: Into me? You're the one harassing me.   
**LORELAI**: I'm hardly harassing you.   
**RORY**: You are. [Sees Luke's] Stop the car.   
**LORELAI**: What?   
**RORY**: Stop the car. [LORELAI stops and RORY gets out]   
**LORELAI**: Where are you going?   
**RORY**: I'll be home by ten.   
**LORELAI**: Rory-   
**RORY**: Bye.   
[LORELAI sighs and puts her head on the steering wheel, then picks it up and starts driving home]   
[Second commercial break]   
  
  
[Open to next morning at Gilmore house. RORY comes out of her room, fully dressed]   
**RORY**: Mom!   
[LORELAI comes down the stairs. RORY pours herself a cup of coffee and LORELAI pours herself one. RORY takes a Pop-Tart, but leaves the other in the toaster. LORELAI walks across the kitchen to get it. RORY picks up her bag and leaves without helping LORELAI tie her scarf. LORELAI huffs and marches out the back door]   
  
  
[Cut to Chilton. RORY and PARIS are walking down the hall]   
**PARIS**: The revision was okay.   
**RORY**: Paris, I put every detail I remember in there.   
**PARIS**: Then you need some ginko-biloba.   
**RORY**: What's wrong with it now?   
**PARIS**: You need to learn how to write the details in more gracefully.   
**RORY**: It was graceful before the details. Now it's cumbersome because of the details.   
**PARIS**: No, it will be fine with the details, but you need to work on your transitioning and such.   
**RORY**: Why don't we ask the advisor?   
**PARIS**: Because she has no clue what she's talking about.   
**RORY**: Okay, the term "advisor" would indicate that she does know what she's talking about.   
**PARIS**: Why are you in such a bad mood? More troubles in paradise?   
**RORY**: Look, I'm just...never mind. You don't care.   
**PARIS**: Tell me.   
**RORY**: Why?   
**PARIS**: Because maybe once we have our little Babysitters' Club moment you can go back to normal.   
**RORY**: Fine. [They stop in front of her lockers. RORY talks while getting things out] I'm having a fight with my mom.   
**PARIS**: That's it? That's why you're so upset?   
**RORY**: A good part of it.   
**PARIS**: So, there's a lesser part. Might as well get it all out.   
**RORY**: I'm dating Jess.   
**PARIS**: I didn't know that was supposed to be upsetting. I'm not too experienced, but usually that means your rose-colored glasses have thicker lenses than usual.   
**RORY**: I haven't told my mom.   
**PARIS**: Is that what the fight's about?   
**RORY**: No.   
**PARIS**: Then what's it about?   
**RORY**: My grandparents.   
**PARIS**: Well, I think you should tell your mother about Jess and talk to your grandparents.   
**RORY**: My grandparents?   
**PARIS**: If the fight's about them, then maybe they can help you make up. Your grandpa's nice.   
**RORY**: My mom doesn't think so.   
**PARIS**: Well, whatever. I'm not really good at the whole Joyce Brothers thing.   
**RORY**: Thanks for trying.   
**PARIS**: Yeah. Let's go. We're going to be late for class.   
**RORY**: Oh, yeah.   
**PARIS**: And don't forget about the newspaper meeting tomorrow, three-thirty sharp.   
**RORY**: Oh, sharp?   
**PARIS**: Back to normal.   
**RORY**: Thanks.   
**PARIS**: Don't mention it. Really. Ever.   
  
  
[Cut to Kim's Antiques. RORY enters through the front door. MRS. KIM pops up from behind a chair]   
**RORY**: Aah! Oh, hi, Mrs. Kim. Is Lane here?   
**MRS. KIM**: Lane is in her room.   
**RORY**: May I see her?   
**MRS. KIM**: Very well. Five minutes.   
**RORY**: Thank you, Mrs. Kim. [MRS. KIM just stares, and RORY goes up the stairs and knocks on LANE'S door] Lane?   
**LANE**: Rory? Hey.   
**RORY**: Hey. [Sees the mess] Wow.   
**LANE**: Calculus is ugly.   
**RORY**: I see that.   
**LANE**: My mom let you up?   
**RORY**: I know. Weird, huh? In the middle of a school afternoon, and after five.   
**LANE**: So you and Lorelai haven't made up.   
**RORY**: Uh...   
**LANE**: If you had, you would be with her now.   
**RORY**: It was a bad one.   
**LANE**: And you still haven't said anything about Jess?   
**RORY**: I can't now. She's already mad.   
**LANE**: Wow.   
**RORY**: Ugh.   
**LANE**: I can't remember a time when you couldn't tell your mom something.   
**RORY**: Dean.   
**LANE**: That was different. You were overreacting.   
**RORY**: I hate this.   
**LANE**: Then make up!   
**RORY**: I can't. It's her turn.   
**LANE**: You guys take turns?   
**RORY**: Well, she started it.   
**LANE**: So mature.   
**RORY**: That's probably what she's thinking.   
**LANE**: Which eliminates that whole "turn" thing, so just go say sorry.   
**RORY**: It just...no. It's more than that.   
**LANE**: Okay.   
**RORY**: So, I'm assuming you haven't told your mom about-[she looks over her shoulder, toward the door]-your book.   
**LANE**: Not yet.   
**RORY**: Seems as though we're in the same boat, mate.   
**LANE**: My boat's a little more explosive.   
**RORY**: I beg to differ. Lorelai's got some pretty good ammunition when necessary.   
**LANE**: Fine. We're in the same boat. [Sighs] I just don't think-no, I know-she's not going to warm to the idea of...my book.   
**RORY**: Especially not since it's...banned.   
**LANE**: Right.   
**RORY**: Well, I better get going. I don't want to exceed my five minutes.   
**LANE**: Thanks for coming. Hey, are we still on for Saturday?   
**RORY**: Of course.   
**LANE**: Oh, hey, do you see my book?   
**RORY**: [Looks around] Lane?   
**LANE**: My real book.   
**RORY**: Oh. It's under your papers, over there. [Points]   
**LANE**: Ah. Thanks.   
**RORY**: I'll call you tomorrow.   
**LANE**: Okay.   
**RORY**: [Opens the door] Good luck with your homework and your...book.   
**LANE**: I need it.   
[RORY steps outside the Kim house and looks around for a bit, indecisively, then turns and goes across the street to Luke's]   
**LUKE**: Hey.   
**RORY**: Hey.   
**LUKE**: Lookin' for Jess?   
**RORY**: Yeah. Is he here?   
**LUKE**: Yeah. He's upstairs. But he has to work at six.   
**RORY**: Duly noted. [She goes upstairs and knocks on the door. JESS answers and looks surprised]   
**JESS**: Hey.   
**RORY**: Hey.   
**JESS**: You're here.   
**RORY**: In the flesh. [Nervous] You don't want me here?   
**JESS**: [Laughs] You're insane. [He opens the door wider to let her in] I just thought you'd be with your mom.   
**RORY**: Well, I had newspaper this afternoon, and then I went to see Lane.   
**JESS**: [Knowingly] Uh-huh.   
**RORY**: We haven't made up.   
**JESS**: Tough.   
**RORY**: I don't know what to do.   
**JESS**: You don't want to go to Harvard?   
**RORY**: No.   
**JESS**: And you've been accepted to Yale?   
**RORY**: Yes.   
**JESS**: Well...   
**RORY**: I know. But I did walk out of the car.   
**JESS**: And came here. [They start walking back to his bedroom, talking all the time]   
**RORY**: Yes.   
**JESS**: Rory, that was last Friday.   
**RORY**: Yes, it was.   
**JESS**: Today is Tuesday.   
**RORY**: Still yes.   
**JESS**: Now, I don't know your mom that well, but I'm assuming that this is probably one of your longest fights. And you're miserable, so go and make up with her. [He sits on the bed and leans over to put a CD in the player]   
**RORY**: It's her turn.   
**JESS**: Okay, so be miserable and wait for her to see that it's her turn.   
**RORY**: I'm being stupid.   
**JESS**: You're not stupid. Stubborn.   
**RORY**: I hate fighting with her.   
**JESS**: Then stop.   
**RORY**: It's not that easy.   
**JESS**: Okay. [He turns on "Everlong" by the Foo-Fighters. They lay back on the bed]   
  
  
[Cut to Gilmore house. RORY comes through the front door; LORELAI is sitting on the couch, watching TV]   
**LORELAI**: There's Chinese in the fridge.   
**RORY**: Okay.   
[RORY goes into the kitchen and piles some food on a plate, then sticks it in the microwave]   
**LORELAI**: [From living room] And Paris called.   
**RORY**: When?   
**LORELAI**: Ten minutes after you were supposed to be home.   
**RORY**: [Rolls her eyes] I'll call her back. [She pulls the food out of the microwave]   
**LORELAI**: Don't wait too long. [She comes into the kitchen] Some people get really irked when you wait too long.   
**RORY**: [Pauses before taking a bite] I'll keep that in mind.   
**LORELAI**: Good. [The phone rings] Hello? She's right here. No, she's eating. She'll reheat it, no big deal. [Hands phone to RORY] It's your dad.   
**RORY**: Oh. [Takes the phone] Hey, Dad.   
**CHRISTOPHER**: Hey there. How's it going?   
**RORY**: Pretty good.   
**CHRISTOPHER**: You sound weird.   
**RORY**: I just didn't expect you to call.   
**CHRISTOPHER**: Rory, just because Sherry and I are going to have a family doesn't mean that you won't be a part of my life.   
**RORY**: I just meant, it's Tuesday. You usually call on Wednesdays.   
**CHRISTOPHER**: Oh. So. How's school?   
**RORY**: It's okay, I guess. Paris has morphed back into scary dictator Paris, and my article for the Franklin will never be up to par, and my calculus class is tough, but...   
**CHRISTOPHER**: Sounds busy.   
**RORY**: It is. How's Sherry?   
**CHRISTOPHER**: Everything's still normal. She's a little worried about the weight gain, and her food requests have gotten increasingly stranger-   
**RORY**: Mom said that she craved marshmallow crème and peanut butter on strawberry Pop-Tarts during her pregnancy.   
**CHRISTOPHER**: That's why she eats so many Pop-Tarts now.   
**RORY**: That explains it. [Pause] Do you know if it's going to be a boy or a girl yet?   
**CHRISTOPHER**: No, not yet. We're thinking that we'll be surprised.   
**RORY**: Oh.   
**CHRISTOPHER**: Ah, but we are asking you for name submissions.   
**RORY**: I don't know if I'm really the right person for that. I mean, I don't really know Sherry too well, and-   
**CHRISTOPHER**: Rory, I'm trying to make you a part of this. I don't want you to feel left out. Just write down names you like.   
**RORY**: Okay. I'll go to the library.   
**CHRISTOPHER**: The answer to all of life's problems.   
**RORY**: I have to check out all my favorite books again and skim for names. Or, if all else fails, a baby name book.   
**CHRISTOPHER**: She stoops.   
**RORY**: Jess would have a fit. [Realizes what she said and squeezes her eyes, grimacing]   
**CHRISTOPHER**: Jess?   
**RORY**: Uh, yeah. My friend Jess. [LORELAI is listening closely now]   
**CHRISTOPHER**: The one that broke your arm?   
**RORY**: He fractured my wrist, and he didn't stand there and twist it or anything.   
**CHRISTOPHER**: You're friends with him now?   
**RORY**: We were always friends.   
**CHRISTOPHER**: I don't think I like this.   
**RORY**: You've never met him.   
**CHRISTOPHER**: Would it change my mind?   
**RORY**: Well...   
**CHRISTOPHER**: Hmm-mmm.   
**RORY**: He's just my friend, Dad. Nothing bad is going to happen.   
**CHRISTOPHER**: You already broke your wrist and skipped school.   
**RORY**: How did you know?   
**CHRISTOPHER**: Your mother, of course.   
**RORY**: I have to go do homework.   
**CHRISTOPHER**: [Chuckles] You are your mother's daughter.   
**RORY**: [Bitterly] Maybe that's because no one else was around. [Pause] I'm sorry.   
**CHRISTOPHER**: I'll talk to you next Wednesday?   
**RORY**: Dad-   
**CHRISTOPHER**: I'll call around eight, like usual.   
**RORY**: Okay. Bye.   
**CHRISTOPHER**: Bye.   
[RORY hangs up the phone. LORELAI raises her eyebrows at RORY, who just goes into her room]   
  
  
[Cut to the Inn. LORELAI is at the desk. The phone rings]   
**LORELAI**: Independence Inn.   
**EMILY**: That's how you answer the phone at your business?   
**LORELAI**: Um, no. Usually I pretend they've called a 900 number.   
**EMILY**: A what?   
**LORELAI**: Never mind. What do you need, Mom?   
**EMILY**: I need to tell you that your father and I are hosting a cocktail party next week.   
**LORELAI**: And?   
**EMILY**: It will be during our normal dinnertime.   
**LORELAI**: And?   
**EMILY**: And the dean of Yale will be there, so it would be appreciated if you and Rory would dress nicely.   
**LORELAI**: Do we have to come?   
**EMILY**: Yes.   
**LORELAI**: Why don't we just have a double-length dinner next time?   
**EMILY**: Because, it is important for Rory to meet the dean.   
**LORELAI**: Important for Rory or important for Dad?   
**EMILY**: If you're going to be difficult, Lorelai, you can just send Rory.   
**LORELAI**: I don't have to come?   
**EMILY**: It would be preferable if you didn't.   
**LORELAI**: Fine. I'll send Rory around next Friday.   
**EMILY**: Good. Make sure she is here at six-thirty.   
**LORELAI**: Early?   
**EMILY**: Your father and I need to speak with her.   
**LORELAI**: About what?   
**EMILY**: Proper decorum, the attendees, et cetra.   
**LORELAI**: Mom, she doesn't need a talk.   
**EMILY**: Send her early or you have to come.   
**LORELAI**: Six-thirty it is.   
**EMILY**: And be certain that she dresses appropriately.   
**LORELAI**: I will.   
**EMILY**: And it would be good for her to have a date. Even that Dean boy.   
**LORELAI**: Uh, I don't think that's going to happen.   
**EMILY**: What, you're afraid to expose him to our social circle?   
**LORELAI**: No, he and Rory broke up some time ago.   
**EMILY**: Oh. Well, does she have someone else she could bring?   
**LORELAI**: [Pause] No.   
**EMILY**: Well, perhaps Lita knows a nice young man.   
**LORELAI**: Oh, no.   
**EMILY**: What?   
**LORELAI**: You are not setting her up.   
**EMILY**: I have no other choice.   
**LORELAI**: Why is it so important that she have an escort? EMILY: It shows that she has proper social interaction, that she can hold a conversation with someone, develop a camaraderie with the opposite sex.   
**LORELAI**: Why don't you just send her with Rune? If she can develop a "camaraderie" with him, she can do it with anyone.   
**EMILY**: Who is Rune?   
**LORELAI**: You know what, never mind. She really needs a date?   
**EMILY**: Yes.   
**LORELAI**: We'll have it covered.   
**EMILY**: Really?   
**LORELAI**: Yes, really.   
**EMILY**: You're certain?   
**LORELAI**: Uh-huh.   
**EMILY**: Because I'm sure Lita could-   
**LORELAI**: Mom, we have it covered. We will have her loofah-ed and properly escorted.   
**EMILY**: Good. Then I'll see Rory on Friday at six-thirty.   
**LORELAI**: Yes you will.   
[LORELAI hangs up and goes to the kitchen]   
**SOOKIE**: Hey, hon.   
**LORELAI**: Ugh.   
**SOOKIE**: Oh, no.   
**LORELAI**: My mother is having a cocktail party.   
**SOOKIE**: Oh, wow. Is she going to have one of those champagne fountains? Because I saw it on HGTV the other day, they're just so-   
**LORELAI**: Sookie.   
**SOOKIE**: Right.   
**LORELAI**: And she's making Rory go.   
**SOOKIE**: What about you?   
**LORELAI**: I annoyed my way out of it.   
**SOOKIE**: It's quite a gift you have.   
**LORELAI**: Yeah, but get this. Rory has to bring a date.   
**SOOKIE**: Ooh.   
**LORELAI**: And my mother threatened to set her up with some wannabe yuppie, so I saved her.   
**SOOKIE**: By?   
**LORELAI**: By saying that I would take care of it.   
**SOOKIE**: How?   
**LORELAI**: I haven't quite worked that part out yet. Jackson doesn't have any other cousins, does he?   
**SOOKIE**: I'll check.   
**LORELAI**: And I'll ask Miss Patty.   
**SOOKIE**: [Giggles] Just don't give her a picture. Hey, what about Jess?   
**LORELAI**: What about Jess?   
**SOOKIE**: You said they were dating.   
**LORELAI**: She still hasn't told me.   
**SOOKIE**: And she won't because you're in the Harvard fight.   
**LORELAI**: Exactly. Nice hole I've dug myself, huh?   
**SOOKIE**: You're practically six feet under.   
**LORELAI**: I should get an Emmy nod.   
**SOOKIE**: So, what about Jess?   
**LORELAI**: And I repeat, what about Jess?   
**SOOKIE**: Couldn't she take him as a date? You know, instead of the awkward set-up thing.   
**LORELAI**: I don't think my parents would really warm to Jess.   
**SOOKIE**: I'm just saying, Rory would be more comfortable.   
**LORELAI**: The dean at Yale's going to be there. She needs someone with more manners. Someone who's, you know, polite and kind of quiet, and-   
**SOOKIE**: So, basically, Dean?   
**LORELAI**: I like Dean.   
**SOOKIE**: I know, sweetie.   
**LORELAI**: When did motherhood get so complicated?   
**SOOKIE**: It could be worse.   
**LORELAI**: How?   
**SOOKIE**: [Raises her eyebrows]   
**LORELAI**: Well, yeah. [Leans across the counter and lowers her voice] So, have you and Jackson thought about it?   
**SOOKIE**: It?   
**LORELAI**: You know, parenthood.   
**SOOKIE**: Well...I've thought of it, and I'm pretty sure he's thought of it, but we just haven't thought of it together.   
**LORELAI**: Maybe you should start.   
**SOOKIE**: Not the biological clock bit.   
**LORELAI**: From me?   
**SOOKIE**: Right, sorry. Jackson's mother did that to me.   
**LORELAI**: Oh, ouch. [Hears a crash in the lobby] I better go.   
**SOOKIE**: Bye, hon. [SOOKIE sets her bowl down and frowns, then picks up the phone] Jackson?   
[Third commercial break]   
  
  
[Cut to Luke's. LORELAI walks through the door and joins RORY at a table]   
**RORY**: I ordered.   
**LORELAI**: How did you know what I'd want?   
**RORY**: You get the same thing every Wednesday.   
**LORELAI**: Well, how did you know I'd get the same thing this Wednesday?   
**RORY**: Go up there and change it if you want.   
**LORELAI**: Whatever.   
**RORY**: Whatever.   
**LORELAI**: Your grandmother called today.   
**RORY**: About what?   
**LORELAI**: About next Friday.   
**RORY**: About what on next Friday?   
**LORELAI**: She and Dad are having a cocktail party and your attendance in mandatory.   
**RORY**: What about you?   
**LORELAI**: I don't have to go.   
**RORY**: Why?   
**LORELAI**: I just don't.   
**RORY**: Fine.   
**LORELAI**: So you have to be there at six-thirty, all dressed up, and...   
**RORY**: And?   
**LORELAI**: You need a date.   
**RORY**: Oh.   
**LORELAI**: I got you out of a set up.   
**RORY**: Great.   
**LORELAI**: That sounded sarcastic.   
**RORY**: Well, who am I going to take now?   
**LORELAI**: [Glares] I don't know.   
**RORY**: I wouldn't have minded being set up. It's just one night.   
**LORELAI**: It starts out as one night, but then it morphs into your grandmother setting you up every time we go to dinner.   
**RORY**: Fine. So, who?   
**LORELAI**: Well, I don't know.   
**RORY**: What's that supposed to mean?   
**LORELAI**: Nothing. You know what, I'm not really hungry.   
**RORY**: We ordered.   
**LORELAI**: You ordered.   
**RORY**: You're just going to leave?   
**LORELAI**: I'll have Chinese at home.   
**RORY**: Fine.   
**LORELAI**: Fine. Goodbye. [Leaves]   
[JESS comes over with coffee]   
**JESS**: Well, that looked like it went well.   
**RORY**: [Holds out her cup] I need coffee.   
**JESS**: Okay. Still want your food?   
**RORY**: [Thinks] I think I'm gonna head home.   
**JESS**: Okay. Call me later.   
**RORY**: I will. [RORY looks around the diner, then quickly pecks JESS on the cheek. LUKE has seen from behind the counter. RORY leaves]   
**LUKE**: [To JESS] What was that?   
**JESS**: What?   
**LUKE**: Jess.   
**JESS**: Hm, I don't know. Maybe you should go ask her.   
**LUKE**: You two dating?   
**JESS**: [Shrugs]   
**LUKE**: Jess, come on. Are you?   
**JESS**: Maybe.   
**LUKE**: Obviously, Lorelai doesn't know. She's gonna kill me.   
**JESS**: What do you have to do with it?   
**LUKE**: Look, I need you to tell me some things.   
**JESS**: I didn't think me and Rory would bother you so much.   
**LUKE**: It doesn't! [Quiets down] It doesn't, I would just like to know about this. Especially when it's Rory.   
**JESS**: "Especially when it's Rory"?   
**LUKE**: You know what, go back to work.   
**JESS**: Fine.   
[LUKE sighs and runs his hand over his head]   
  
  
[Cut to Gilmore house. LORELAI is in the kitchen, banging around]   
**RORY**: Mom?   
**LORELAI**: Kitchen.   
**RORY**: Hey.   
**LORELAI**: Hey.   
**RORY**: [Nervously] I think we need to talk.   
**LORELAI**: Okay. [Sits at table with RORY] Shoot.   
**RORY**: I'm sorry about the Harvard thing, but you can't be mad at me.   
**LORELAI**: [Sighs] I'm not mad at you.   
**RORY**: Not mad? You've been acting awfully strange for "not mad."   
**LORELAI**: Rory, is there something you want to tell me? Something involving a sullen margin-writing diner worker?   
**RORY**: [Clears her throat] Um...   
**LORELAI**: Like, say, you're going out with him?   
**RORY**: [Lowers her eyes] I'm sorry.   
**LORELAI**: Why wouldn't you tell me this?   
**RORY**: I didn't think you'd take it too well.   
**LORELAI**: Well, I would have taken it better if you had actually told me. [Stands up] God, I thought I made it clear that you had to tell me this stuff. I just...I don't understand why you would keep this a secret, even after I told you that I was okay-ish with Jess if you would only tell me. [Starts putting food on a plate] God!   
**RORY**: I'm sorry. I was going to tell you, and then I got scared. I mean, I see this completely different person, and I didn't know how to explain that to you, and I just...I freaked out.   
**LORELAI**: Was it his idea?   
**RORY**: What?   
**LORELAI**: Not telling me.   
**RORY**: No.   
**LORELAI**: Really?   
**RORY**: Really. It was all my mistake. I'm so sorry, Mom.   
**LORELAI**: I hate that he does this to you.   
**RORY**: What exactly does he do to you?   
**LORELAI**: I don't know what it is exactly. I mean, you went on a joy ride with him. You skipped school-not to mention my graduation-for him. You kissed him while you were with Dean. He makes you like to me.   
**RORY**: He didn't make me lie to you.   
**LORELAI**: He makes you do things you normally wouldn't.   
**RORY**: He doesn't.   
**LORELAI**: No?   
**RORY**: All of these things were my decisions.   
**LORELAI**: Decisions that were somehow brought about by being near him.   
**RORY**: [Explosively] I'm sick and tired of being the town princess! I hate that I can never make a mistake like a normal teenager! This whole town-even you-thinks I have some superhuman power that keeps me from ever doing something wrong, ever!   
**LORELAI**: You didn't seem to hate being the town princess before you met Jess!   
**RORY**: Maybe he just helped me realize it.   
**LORELAI**: Or maybe he planted it in your mind!   
**RORY**: Or maybe everyone is totally overreacting to every little incident!   
**LORELAI**: God! Listen to us! This is what I told myself I would never do with my daughter. I promised myself that I would never have to have this conversation.   
**RORY**: Then don't.   
**LORELAI**: Yeah, well, I hadn't counted on Jess.   
**RORY**: Isn't it enough for you that he makes me happy?   
**LORELAI**: [Pauses] I'm glad. But happiness, in this case, can get you in trouble.   
**RORY**: You once told me that I should be crazy happy. And I am crazy happy with Jess.   
**LORELAI**: [Her face softens a little] Crazy happy, huh?   
**RORY**: Weak-in-the-knees-constant-smile-bad-Nora-Ephron-movie happy.   
**LORELAI**: Wow.   
**RORY**: I can't help it.   
**LORELAI**: I remember that feeling.   
**RORY**: Yeah?   
**LORELAI**: It led to you.   
**RORY**: Mom, I'm not going to get pregnant.   
**LORELAI**: I know that. [Sighs] Go, call him.   
**RORY**: You're not mad?   
**LORELAI**: No. But you must tell me everything. I mean it, Rory, one more bad thing happens...   
**RORY**: Got it. [She takes the phone into her room]   
[LORELAI sits down and sighs]   
  
[Cut to Luke's. LORELAI enters]   
**LUKE**: Coffee?   
**LORELAI**: Mm, I was thinking a root beer float.   
**LUKE**: So, coffee.   
**LORELAI**: Yup.   
**LUKE**: You look good.   
**LORELAI**: I would proceed to giggle and blush, but that sounded way sarcastic.   
**LUKE**: You look like crap.   
**LORELAI**: Ah, this is where the giggling and blushing commences.   
**LUKE**: Something happen?   
**LORELAI**: Yeah. Rory and Jess.   
**LUKE**: Ah.   
**LORELAI**: You knew!   
**LUKE**: Calm down, I just found out last night.   
**LORELAI**: So, Jess didn't tell you.   
**LUKE**: And Rory didn't tell you.   
**LORELAI**: Trouble.   
**LUKE**: Major. [Hands her coffee] Here you go.   
**LORELAI**: [Sits on a barstool] So, what are we going to do?   
**LUKE**: About...?   
**LORELAI**: Rory and Jess.   
**LUKE**: Nothing.   
**LORELAI**: Nothing?   
**LUKE**: Look, Rory is really good for Jess.   
**LORELAI**: But what about, you know, Jess.   
**LUKE**: I thought we established a rule about this.   
**LORELAI**: I'm sorry, Luke, I'm worried.   
**LUKE**: He won't get her pregnant, Lorelai.   
**LORELAI**: I know. It's just...I worry.   
**LUKE**: I heard. Lorelai, Rory has good judgment. Do you really think she would let Jess get her into serious trouble?   
**LORELAI**: [Grudgingly] No.   
**LUKE**: Then we're set.   
**LORELAI**: Okay. But could you, you know, keep an eye on them?   
**LUKE**: Will do.   
**LORELAI**: Thanks. I better get going.   
**LUKE**: All right. See you tonight.   
**LORELAI**: Tonight? What makes you think I'll make it through the afternoon without more coffee?   
**LUKE**: My mistake.   
**LORELAI**: That's right. [Leaves, but turns] Hey, Luke?   
**LUKE**: Yeah?   
**LORELAI**: You've come a long way, with Jess.   
**LUKE**: Yeah.   
**LORELAI**: Yeah. [Leaves]   
  
[Cut to bus stop. JESS is reading a book on the bench. RORY comes off the bus]   
**RORY**: Hey.   
**JESS**: Hey. Nice skirt.   
**RORY**: Thanks. Nice book.   
**JESS**: Proust...short stories.   
**RORY**: As if Proust could write anything short.   
**JESS**: Does seem like an oxymoron, doesn't it?   
**RORY**: Sure does. [He takes her hand and they start walking] Hey, guess what?   
**JESS**: Your school is switching to stripes for the uniform?   
**RORY**: I told my mom.   
**JESS**: You did?   
**RORY**: Yeah.   
**JESS**: Should I wear a bulletproof vest?   
**RORY**: She was shockingly okay with it.   
**JESS**: She was okay with it for you. She will continue to give me nasty looks.   
**RORY**: Better get used to it then.   
**JESS**: Taylor lectured me for an extra five minutes in the market today.   
**RORY**: You went in the market?   
**JESS**: Yes. Unlike some people, Luke and I actually cook our own food. Fascinating tradition.   
**RORY**: You hate the market.   
**JESS**: I hate the people in the market.   
**RORY**: Same thing.   
**JESS**: Not entirely. I don't hate the building that the market is housed in. I just hate the inhabitants.   
**RORY**: Well, good. It's tough to actually despise inanimate objects.   
**JESS**: I despise The Fountainhead.   
**RORY**: Different!   
**JESS**: Ah, now she backtracks.   
**RORY**: Cut me some slack. I just spent a mind-deadening six hours at school.   
**JESS**: In that case...   
**RORY**: [Hesitantly] Hey, Jess?   
**JESS**: Hmm?   
**RORY**: I have a favor to ask you.   
**JESS**: Ask.   
**RORY**: My grandparents are having this party-thing, and they want me to come. It's this sort of semi-formal thing and the dean from Yale is going to be there, and...I need a date.   
**JESS**: Um...   
**RORY**: If you don't want to, that's okay too. I'll find...someone.   
**JESS**: I don't know if I'm the right person.   
**RORY**: All you have to do is stand there. I promise, I'll save you from any chit-chat.   
**JESS**: You really want me to go?   
**RORY**: Yeah.   
**JESS**: Okay.   
**RORY**: Okay?   
**JESS**: Okay.   
**RORY**: Thank you.   
**JESS**: Do I have to eat?   
**RORY**: I tend not to.   
**JESS**: Good. [They enter the diner] Formal?   
**RORY**: Kind of.   
**JESS**: Hmm.   
**RORY**: That's bad.   
**JESS**: Don't worry about it.   
**RORY**: Fine, then. I won't.   
**LUKE**: You two going upstairs?   
**JESS**: Is that where this opening leads?   
**LUKE**: Back by five, Jess.   
**JESS**: Okay.   
**LUKE**: And don't...you know...[Gestures] Just go.   
**RORY**: [Whispers] That was painful.   
**JESS**: Parenting according to Luke.   
**RORY**: You're sure it's not a big deal?   
**JESS**: The "don't worry" comment would imply that you should quit worrying.   
**RORY**: Right.   
**JESS**: So, this is big for you.   
**RORY**: Kind of. Yeah.   
**JESS**: Hey, I picked up a new edition of Catcher in the Rye at the bookstore yesterday. It's got Salinger's notes in the appendix.   
**RORY**: I'm there.   
  
[Cut to the Gilmore house. LORELAI is sitting on the couch, painting her nails. The phone rings]   
**LORELAI**: Rory!   
**RORY**: Coming! [RORY comes running from her room and grabs the phone] Hello?   
**RICHARD**: Ah, Rory, wonderful.   
**RORY**: Hi, Grandpa.   
**RICHARD**: Your grandmother and I just called to confirm plans for the party,   
**RORY**: Friday, six-thirty.   
**RICHARD**: Yes. Now, I'm assuming you've found a date?   
**RORY**: Yes.   
**RICHARD**: Splendid. Who?   
**RORY**: Jess.   
**RICHARD**: Jess?   
**RORY**: Yes, Jess.   
**RICHARD**: The boy who broke your arm?   
**RORY**: He didn't break it.   
**RICHARD**: The boy who was driving the car that got in the accident that led to the breaking of your arm?   
**RORY**: Well, yeah. Him.   
**RICHARD**: Unacceptable.   
**RORY**: Grandpa, he's my boyfriend.   
**RICHARD**: How can your mother allow this?   
**RORY**: He's not a bad person, Grandpa.   
**RICHARD**: I'm sorry, Rory, you will need to find another date.   
**RORY**: I don't have another date.   
**RICHARD**: Then I will ask your grandmother to arrange something.   
**RORY**: I'm comfortable with Jess.   
**RICHARD**: Life is about compromises, Rory.   
**RORY**: I know that.   
**RICHARD**: So you will have to acclimate.   
**RORY**: It goes both ways.   
**RICHARD**: Rory, I am looking out for your best interests.   
**RORY**: You don't even know him! This is ridiculous! [RORY hangs up]   
**LORELAI**: Rory?   
**RORY**: Oh my God.   
**LORELAI**: What happened?   
**RORY**: He was...he was pulling what he did with Dean.   
**LORELAI**: Maybe you should call him back.   
**RORY**: He owes me the apology.   
**LORELAI**: Honey...   
**RORY**: [Groans]   
**LORELAI**: We could always find someone else.   
**RORY**: I want to go with Jess.   
**LORELAI**: Then you'll have to explain that to Dad without yelling.   
**RORY**: I know. I just...he's so judgmental sometimes.   
**LORELAI**: I know, hon. [Pats the couch] Come, sit.   
**RORY**: I shouldn't have done that.   
**LORELAI**: No. But he'll get over it, and you two will be chummy again in no time.   
**RORY**: This is going to be one weird party. [Doorbell rings] I'll get it.   
**LORELAI**: Good, 'cause I'm temporarily debilitated.   
**RORY**: Convenient to have me around sometimes.   
**LORELAI**: It is at that.   
[LANE is at the door]   
**RORY**: Hey.   
**LANE**: I'm a mental case.   
**RORY**: Uh...sure.   
**LANE**: I told her.   
**RORY**: What?   
**LANE**: I told my mother.   
**RORY**: About Clyde?   
**LANE**: Oh my God. I'm a moron.   
**RORY**: How...when?   
**LANE**: Just now.   
**RORY**: And she let you out?   
**LANE**: She banished me to my room.   
**RORY**: And you...   
**LANE**: Crawled down the tree.   
**RORY**: Naturally.   
**LANE**: What am I going to do?   
**RORY**: Will you ever talk to him again?   
**LANE**: I don't know. She's so mad.   
**RORY**: Why did you tell her?   
**LANE**: I told you, I'm a mental case.   
**RORY**: Right. Well, I hung up on my grandfather, if it makes you feel any better.   
**LANE**: Really?   
**RORY**: Yeah, I told him I was taking Jess to that cocktail party.   
**LANE**: He didn't warm?   
**RORY**: Not exactly.   
**LANE**: Well, I can sympathize.   
[LORELAI enters]   
**LORELAI**: Hey, Lane.   
**LANE**: Hey.   
**LORELAI**: You staying for dinner?   
**LANE**: I have to get back to my cage.   
**LORELAI**: Well, if you want some pizza...   
**LANE**: No, I have to get back before my mother figures out I'm gone.   
**LORELAI**: In that case, run like the wind.   
**LANE**: I don't think if I ran as fast as Michael Johnson, it would save me.   
**LORELAI**: Well, good luck.   
**LANE**: Thanks. [LANE takes a deep breath and leaves]   
**LORELAI**: What happened?   
**RORY**: She told her mother about Clyde.   
**LORELAI**: Stupid.   
**RORY**: Stupid.   
**LORELAI**: Sounds suspiciously like another scenario I know...   
**RORY**: Oh, boy.   
**LORELAI**: Except you don't have a tree.   
**RORY**: This should be illegal.   
**LORELAI**: What? Oh, yeah, and Jess has no musical talent as far as I know.   
**RORY**: I'm going in the kitchen now.   
**LORELAI**: And the mom is so much cooler! [RORY leaves, and LORELAI watches after her, smiling a little]   
[Fourth commercial break]   
  
[Open to Gilmore house. RORY is trying to do her hair]   
**RORY**: Mom!   
**LORELAI**: [Comes into room] Need help, young one?   
**RORY**: Please.   
**LORELAI**: Sit. [RORY sits] I'm sorry you have to go to this thing.   
**RORY**: I feel sorrier for Jess.   
**LORELAI**: He does own some sort of dress clothes, right?   
**RORY**: I've heard rumblings of such.   
**LORELAI**: Good. Because Mom and Dad will probably crucify him at the door if he doesn't.   
**RORY**: I warned him of that possibility.   
**LORELAI**: Then he's okay.   
**RORY**: So, do I look okay?   
**LORELAI**: Only when your hair's done.   
**RORY**: Mom.   
**LORELAI**: You look wonderful. You'll knock those poor Yalies off their feet. They won't know what hit them.   
**RORY**: Just what I was aiming for.   
**LORELAI**: And I know how you like your goals.   
**RORY**: Yes, I do.   
**LORELAI**: Okay. You're ready. Twirl. [RORY twirls] Perfection.   
**RORY**: I'm going to wait in the living room.   
**LORELAI**: I'll tell you when he's here.   
**RORY**: Less chance of fiddling.   
**LORELAI**: Right. Go, go.   
[RORY leaves and goes to the living room. LORELAI idly pushes some things around on the dresser. Dean's bracelet in underneath a pile of stuff, and LORELAI pockets it]   
**RORY**: He's here!   
**LORELAI**: Have fun! Save him from Mrs. Feldman!   
**RORY**: Who? LORELAI: Never mind. Bye, babe!   
**RORY**: I'll be back by ten.   
**LORELAI**: Okay. [The front door slams, and LORELAI goes to the hall closet and adds the bracelet to the Dean box. She frowns, then pushes it way to the back of the closet, underneath a bunch of stuff. LORELAI stands up and shuts the closet, then leans against it and shuts her eyes]   
  
[Cut to RORY and JESS in the truck]   
**RORY**: Yeah, let's just say that Salinger's characters are every bit as screwed up as he is.   
**JESS**: I wonder why they would publish that in the back of a novel.   
**RORY**: Guess he's dead now.   
**JESS**: He might recover.   
**RORY**: Wow. I wonder if Luke will ever get another vehicle.   
**JESS**: Not unless it comes out of a bad fifties farm movie.   
**RORY**: He's had this truck ever since I can remember. He's also had the same special in the diner since I can remember, until you came in with your revolutionary ways.   
**JESS**: Yes, I helped him learned the true meaning of "today's" special.   
**RORY**: It was kind of traumatizing, to tell you the truth.   
**JESS**: If it'll make you feel better, I'll leave this one up for a year or so.   
**RORY**: Mm, I guess.   
**JESS**: So, at this party.   
**RORY**: Yes?   
**JESS**: Do I have to say...anything?   
**RORY**: Um, well, if you're asked a question, it's usually best to refrain from sarcasm.   
**JESS**: No sarcasm, got it.   
**RORY**: No sarcasm.   
**JESS**: Good, repeat it a couple times.   
**RORY**: Who's to say I wasn't reminding myself?   
**JESS**: Right. You probably went over notes at home.   
**RORY**: Oh, and avoid making eye contact. People will come over and try to trap you into a conversation.   
**JESS**: No sarcasm, no eye contact.   
**RORY**: And avoid all mention of college or the future with my grandpa.   
**JESS**: It gets more complicated.   
**RORY**: And my grandmother is very sensitive about her decorations, so if she asks you how things look, tell her they look great, even if it looks like HGTV's decorators went on crack.   
**JESS**: Okay.   
**RORY**: Oh, and my grandfather likes books.   
**JESS**: All right.   
**RORY**: But not too many jokes. Only if they're-   
**JESS**: I think I got it.   
**RORY**: Okay. [They pull up at the house] Be...polite.   
**JESS**: What you mean is, be Dean.   
**RORY**: No. No, that wouldn't work.   
**JESS**: What you mean is, you really wanted someone like Dean to take to this thing.   
**RORY**: That's not what I meant at all!   
**JESS**: I'm sorry, Rory. I'm not like that.   
**RORY**: I know. It's just...my grandparents, they're...I don't know! They're particular.   
**JESS**: They're "particular"?   
**RORY**: They're really concerned about me.   
**JESS**: You and your new boyfriend?   
**RORY**: [Lowers her eyes] No.   
**JESS**: Ah.   
**RORY**: You know what?   
**JESS**: What?   
**RORY**: Turn around.   
**JESS**: What?   
**RORY**: Now, just turn.   
**JESS**: We're in the driveway.   
**RORY**: We're not going.   
**JESS**: What?   
**RORY**: We're not going. Just...turn. Turn around.   
**JESS**: Okay. [He turns, and the leave. RORY looks over her shoulder at the house]   
  
[Cut to Gilmore house. LORELAI is eating at the table when the phone rings]   
**LORELAI**: Hello?   
**EMILY**: Where is she?   
**LORELAI**: Um...Elizabeth Smart?   
**EMILY**: Rory. Where is she?   
**LORELAI**: Isn't she at your house?   
**EMILY**: No, she's not here. Why would I be calling you if she weren't here?   
**LORELAI**: Maybe they had car trouble.   
**EMILY**: Maybe that boy broke her arm again.   
**LORELAI**: No, I'm sure that's not what happened. Just...give them a minute, Mom.   
**EMILY**: It's already five to seven. My guests will be arriving any moment. What am I going to say?   
**LORELAI**: Just give them a minute, Mom.   
**EMILY**: I can't believe she would do this. It's that boy.   
**LORELAI**: Mom, just calm down.   
**EMILY**: I told you that boy was trouble. But you didn't listen to me, and now look what's happened!   
**LORELAI**: Nothing's happened yet, Mom.   
**EMILY**: Which is the problem. Oh, Lord, there's Biddy. Get her here.   
**LORELAI**: I can't control-[EMILY hangs up] Fine. [LORELAI looks at her food, then grabs her coat and leaves]   
  
[Cut to Luke's. LORELAI comes in]   
**LORELAI**: Have you heard from Jess?   
**LUKE**: Yeah. Right before he left.   
**LORELAI**: Not after?   
**LUKE**: No...why?   
**LORELAI**: I just got a panicked call from my mother. Calls in general are bad, but a panicked call tops it all.   
**LUKE**: About...?   
**LORELAI**: About how Rory and Jess aren't there.   
**LUKE**: What?   
**LORELAI**: They just didn't show up.   
**LUKE**: That's it. He is dead. I warned him...   
**LORELAI**: I doubt whether it's his fault.   
**LUKE**: He's gonna-what?   
**LORELAI**: Rory just had a fight with her grandfather.   
**LUKE**: And you think she was the one who decided not to go?   
**LORELAI**: It's a possibility.   
**LUKE**: So you're not going to rip Jess' head off?   
**LORELAI**: I might. I haven't decided yet.   
**LUKE**: Oh, well, there's a load off.   
**LORELAI**: How are things with Jess?   
**LUKE**: Well, his mother hasn't called since he's been back-big shock there-but he's gotten his grades up, and Taylor has resorted to just giving him and I dirty looks.   
**LORELAI**: So, good, then.   
**LUKE**: Yeah.   
**LORELAI**: That's good. Why are you looking at me like that?   
**LUKE**: I'm just having a little trouble believing you're not more upset.   
**LORELAI**: Believe it.   
**LUKE**: Coffee?   
**LORELAI**: Ah, sweet salvation.   
**LUKE**: You've got problems.   
  
[Cut to RORY and JESS driving. RORY is silent]   
**JESS**: You okay?   
**RORY**: Yeah.   
**JESS**: Are you mad at me?   
**RORY**: Why would I be?   
**JESS**: I'm not sure.   
**RORY**: I'm not mad.   
**JESS**: If you say so.   
**RORY**: I do.   
**JESS**: Are we going anywhere?   
**RORY**: Home.   
**JESS**: Home?   
**RORY**: My mom's going to be worried. My grandmother has already called her.   
**JESS**: She's going to be pissed.   
**RORY**: No kidding.   
**JESS**: She's going to be pissed at me, not you.   
**RORY**: It's not your fault. I'll tell her that.   
**JESS**: She won't believe you.   
**RORY**: She will. I just had a fight with my grandpa.   
**JESS**: About what?   
**RORY**: You.   
**JESS**: So you were taking me even though your grandfather didn't approve?   
**RORY**: [Looks at him. JESS is grinning, and RORY bites her lip then grins] Get over yourself.   
**JESS**: I didn't know I was so important.   
**RORY**: Somehow, this entire ordeal only serves to inflate your ego.   
**JESS**: Not just that.   
**RORY**: Oh?   
**JESS**: I now know not to use sarcasm, to tell your grandmother that everything looks great, to avoid college and the future with your grandfather, and that he likes books.   
**RORY**: [Surprised] You were listening.   
**JESS**: Of course. You sound so shocked.   
**RORY**: [Smiling] I'm not.   
**JESS**: Good.   
[RORY smiles at him and reaches for his hand]   
**JESS**: Remember what happened last time I drove with one hand?   
**RORY**: Turn.   
**JESS**: Where?   
**RORY**: Anywhere.   
**JESS**: As you wish.   
[Fade out as the car turns a random corner. End of episode]   



	4. No Easy Way Down

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"No Easy Way Down" 

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Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, but the situations are mine.

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Author's Notes: I started to veer away from spoilers here and just make up my own storyline, for better or for worse.  
  
**ANNOUNCER**: Previously on Gilmore Girls... 

[Cut to RORY and JESS on the bridge]

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JESS: So you haven't told her yet.

****

RORY: [Lowers her eyes] No.

[Cut to RORY and LORELAI in the Jeep]

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LORELAI: You've really got your heart set on Yale?

****

RORY: Look, I just…I think that I could be successful at Yale just as much as Harvard.

[Cut to RORY and LANE]

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RORY: So, I'm assuming you haven't told your mom about—[she looks over her shoulder, toward the door]—your book.

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LANE: Not yet.

[Cut to RORY and JESS]

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JESS: Now, I don't know your mom that well, but I'm assuming that this is probably one of your longest fights. And you're miserable, so go and make up with her. 

****

RORY: It's not that easy.

[Cut to LORELAI talking on the phone to EMILY]

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EMILY: I need to tell you that your father and I are hosting a cocktail party next week.

****

LORELAI: And?

****

EMILY: It will be during our normal dinnertime.

****

LORELAI: And?

****

EMILY: And the dean of Yale will be there, so it would be appreciated if you and Rory would dress nicely…And it would be good for her to have a date. Even that Dean boy.

[Cut to RORY and LORELAI in the kitchen]

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LORELAI: Well, I would have taken it better if you had actually told me. [Stands up] God, I thought I made it clear that you had to tell me this stuff. I just…I don't understand why you would keep this a secret, even after I told you that I was okay-ish with Jess if you would only tell me. [Starts putting food on a plate] God!

[Cut to RORY and JESS]

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RORY: My grandparents are having this party-thing, and they want me to come. It's this sort of semi-formal thing and the dean from Yale is going to be there, and…I need a date.

[Cut to RORY talking on the phone with RICHARD]

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RICHARD: Rory, I am looking out for your best interests.

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RORY: You don't even know him! This is ridiculous! [RORY hangs up]

[Cut to LANE at the Gilmore house]

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LANE: I told my mother.

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RORY: About Clyde?

[Cut to RORY and JESS in the truck at the elder Gilmore residence]

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RORY: We're not going. Just…turn. Turn around.

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JESS: Okay. [He turns, and the leave. RORY looks over her shoulder at the house]

[Open to RORY and JESS driving toward Stars Hollow. RORY is biting her lip and looking nervously out the window; JESS keeps looking at her]

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JESS: You wanna…drive to the border?

****

RORY: Um…ask me in a few minutes.

****

JESS: You scared?

****

RORY: I've never done anything like that before.

****

JESS: What do you want me to do?

****

RORY: Just…stay silent. I don't think she's going to be real happy with either of us, and I have a better chance of winning her over.

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JESS: Okay, then.

****

RORY: Stop!

[JESS slams on the brakes]

****

JESS: What?

****

RORY: I need coffee.

****

JESS: Christ. [He gets out and opens her door for her. RORY climbs out after him and follows him into the diner. LORELAI is still sitting at the counter]

****

RORY: Mom.

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LORELAI: Offspring.

****

RORY: Has Grandma called?

****

LORELAI: Hmm, I seem to remember a panicked call in which she revealed that her granddaughter hadn't shown up for some party thing.

****

RORY: I'm so sorry, Mom.

****

LORELAI: I know.

****

RORY: I don't know what happened.

****

LORELAI: I'm going with…you made a U-turn at some point.

****

RORY: We were just there…in the driveway, and then I saw the party.

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LORELAI: And you balked?

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RORY: No, I mean, in my head, I envisioned the party. I could see Grandma and Grandpa being all snobby and not listening to me and getting angry—

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LORELAI: Good you prevented that.

****

RORY: --And I couldn't do it.

****

LORELAI: I understand.

****

RORY: It's never going to happen again. You remember that New York list? You can inflict all those punishments on me. For as long as you want.

****

LORELAI: Rory, I understand.

****

RORY: And you can extend privileges to Grandma and Grandpa, if you want.

****

LORELAI: I think they can cook up their own.

****

RORY: But it's not Jess' fault.

****

LORELAI: That sounds familiar.

****

RORY: Really, Mom, it's not. I swear. It was all me.

****

LORELAI: Rory, I understand.

****

RORY: And, I mean, if—wait, what?

****

LORELAI: You can quit babbling, hon. It's all right.

****

RORY: Really?

****

LORELAI: Truly. Just promise me one thing.

****

RORY: Anything.

****

LORELAI: Don't do it again.

****

RORY: Never.

****

LORELAI: Good.

[RORY looks at LORELAI tentatively, then twists around to look at JESS, who raises his eyebrows]

****

LUKE: Jess, go wipe the kitchen down.

[JESS kisses RORY'S cheek and goes into the kitchen]

****

LORELAI: [Pats the barstool next to her] Sit. Luke, we need another cup of coffee. Spiked.

****

LUKE: She's a minor.

****

LORELAI: So?

****

LUKE: So, you either take the untainted coffee or you get none.

****

LORELAI: [Faking exasperation] Fine, fine.

[LUKE gives RORY a cup of coffee, then goes back into the kitchen]

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RORY: You're sure you're not mad?

****

LORELAI: No, I'm not mad.

****

RORY: Why?

****

LORELAI: Everyone has fights, including you and Grandpa. Strangely, they all seem to center around guys. But I'd rather you didn't release that tension at the party and really hack them off.

****

RORY: You're serious?

****

LORELAI: Completely.

****

RORY: I honestly don't know why I told Jess to turn around.

****

LORELAI: You envisioned the party.

****

RORY: But why do something so drastic? They're gonna be so mad.

****

LORELAI: We'll see what we can do. You're getting older. Something like this was bound to happen.

****

RORY: I wish they had never invited me to this party in the first place.

****

LORELAI: Or made you bring a date.

****

RORY: [Sighs] Are you gonna be mad at Jess?

****

LORELAI: No more intensely than usual.

****

RORY: Good. Because it's not his fault.

****

LORELAI: I believe you.

****

RORY: And you said that if one more bad thing happened…

****

LORELAI: Yes. But I meant really, really bad.

****

RORY: Like?

****

LORELAI: Like…you got a piercing.

****

RORY: Oh, so I have some leeway.

****

LORELAI: Don't push it.

****

RORY: Mom?

****

LORELAI: What?

****

RORY: Thanks.

****

LORELAI: You're welcome. [She and RORY smile at each other for a minute] Drink your coffee.

****

RORY: If you insist. [They take simultaneous sips]

[Opening Credits]

[First commercial break]

[Open to Chilton. RORY is walking down the hall and stops at her locker. While she's taking books out, PARIS comes up from behind]

****

PARIS: Did you see me totally crush that kid?

****

RORY: He'll never recover.

****

PARIS: I've won tons of debates, but that was total annihilation.

****

RORY: Absolutely.

****

PARIS: God, I wonder what his verbal will be on the SAT.

****

RORY: Not as high as yours.

****

PARIS: Clearly. [She and RORY start walking down the hall] So, have you?

****

RORY: Huh?

****

PARIS: Have you…taken the SAT?

****

RORY: No. It's the third week of school.

****

PARIS: I took mine this weekend.

****

RORY: Well, that's very ambitious of you.

****

PARIS: Harvard likes people who take them early.

****

RORY: Yep.

****

PARIS: So, it's surprising you haven't taken yours yet.

****

RORY: I will. The next testing date is in three weeks.

****

PARIS: You think that's enough time to prepare?

****

RORY: I've been preparing for most of high school.

****

PARIS: Harvard doesn't like people who take this kind of thing for granted. I mean, this is one of biggest, most important tests you'll ever take in your life. It decides your college, which dictates your future.

****

RORY: I'm not exactly slacking off here, Paris.

****

PARIS: I prepared all summer.

****

RORY: You did not.

****

PARIS: What do you think I did while you wandered the streets?

****

RORY: Cleaned. Re-did your notes.

****

PARIS: No. I studied.

****

RORY: Well, good for you.

****

PARIS: Harvard really doesn't like people who get low scores on their SAT's because they were too lazy to study.

****

RORY: Well, you'll have to tell me exactly who they like and don't like. [RORY turns a corner abruptly, and PARIS follows]

****

PARIS: What's that supposed to mean?

****

RORY: [Stops walking and faces her] It means, you'll have to write me or something and tell me what it's like.

****

PARIS: What? What are you talking about?

****

RORY: I'm not going to Harvard, Paris.

****

PARIS: You…why? I thought you had your heart set on it.

****

RORY: I changed my mind.

****

PARIS: What could have possibly caused you to change your mind?

****

RORY: I did more research.

****

PARIS: You'd already done all the research there was to do.

****

RORY: I'm going to Yale.

****

PARIS: I don't understand. Why?

****

RORY: It's closer to home, for one.

****

PARIS: Afraid you'll get homesick?

****

RORY: I just like being near my family. It's important.

****

PARIS: And you realized this just in time to change your plans weeks before you have to start applying?

****

RORY: Yes!

****

PARIS: I never thought you'd be so flighty.

****

RORY: Flighty? It's not like I'm dropping out or something.

****

PARIS: It's not like you to change something this drastic so suddenly.

****

RORY: And you know this how?

****

PARIS: I just do!

****

RORY: Why are you angry? I thought you'd be overjoyed to know that I wouldn't be there.

****

PARIS: [Sputters for a second] Never mind! I'll see you after school. [PARIS storms off in the opposite direction. RORY stares after her for a minute, then turns into her classroom]

[Cut to RORY climbing off the bus. She looks tired and slumped. When she gets off, she stands at the stop for a moment and stares at the bench. JESS is not there. RORY frowns, then marches off toward home]

[Cut to RORY walking down a residential street on her way home. She bumps into someone on the sidewalk]

****

RORY: Oh, sorry. [She looks up. It's DEAN]

****

DEAN: No problem.

****

RORY: I wasn't watching where I was going.

****

DEAN: That's fine.

****

RORY: How are you?

****

DEAN: Good. You?

****

RORY: Okay.

****

DEAN: I heard about you and Jess.

****

RORY: Yeah…

****

DEAN: You happy?

****

RORY: Yes.

****

DEAN: Good.

****

RORY: Yeah, good. [Awkward pause] How's school?

****

DEAN: Fine.

****

RORY: Good, that's good.

****

DEAN: You?

****

RORY: Oh, well, it's, um…I don't know if I can find the right word.

****

DEAN: And, uh, Paris?

****

RORY: Terrorizing me, as usual.

****

DEAN: So, did you have fun in Washington?

****

RORY: Against all odds, yes.

****

DEAN: Good for you. What's it like, being vice president?

****

RORY: Uneventful. I just kind of tell Paris when she's being insane; sometimes she listens, sometimes she doesn't.

****

DEAN: Uh, good arrangement.

****

RORY: It works.

****

DEAN: [Smiles] Right. So…

****

RORY: So… [RORY tilts her head when she sees a pretty girl walk up from behind DEAN. She puts her arm around his waist, and he turns to her and kisses her forehead]

****

DEAN: Oh, ah, Rory, this is Sarah.

****

RORY: H-hi. [She extends her hand]

****

SARAH: [Shakes RORY'S hand] Hey! So you're Rory.

****

RORY: That's me.

****

SARAH: Wow. Well…hi.

****

RORY: Hi.

****

DEAN: Well, we've got a movie to catch, so…

****

RORY: So, right. Great. Have fun.

****

SARAH: Good to meet you.

****

RORY: Oh, yeah. Same—same here.

[DEAN and SARAH walk around RORY and go down the sidewalk, giggling together. RORY frowns, then keeps on walking]

[Cut to Gilmore house. RORY comes out of her room when LORELAI comes home]

****

RORY: Hey!

****

LORELAI: Hey.

****

RORY: You're home late.

****

LORELAI: There was a lot to do at the inn.

****

RORY: Right. So, Chinese or pizza?

****

LORELAI: Whichever.

****

RORY: Chinese it is.

****

LORELAI: Fine. The menus are in the drawer.

****

RORY: No, I put them on the table.

****

LORELAI: There you go, then.

****

RORY: Are you okay?

****

LORELAI: Fine.

****

RORY: You don't seem fine.

****

LORELAI: I am.

****

RORY: You're awfully quiet.

****

LORELAI: Then I'll get a megaphone.

****

RORY: Fine, fine. I'm gonna order.

****

LORELAI: Go.

[RORY disappears into the living room to order. LORELAI pulls her cell out of her purse and checks her messages]

****

CHRISTOPHER: [On message] Lorelai, it's me. I don't know if you don't have your cell with you or you're just not picking up, but, uh, I'd like to talk to you. I'm—I'm sorry. About everything. I'm sorry about not being there for you and Rory when she was younger, and for not being there for you ever, and especially about this Sherry thing. I hope that you can forgive me, and I don't blame you for being mad. [LORELAI huffs] Just…just give me a call.

[LORELAI hangs up the cell and throws it back in her purse]

****

RORY: Okay! Chinese is on it's way. It'll be here in half an hour, so says Al.

****

LORELAI: Great.

****

RORY: That didn't sound too enthused.

****

LORELAI: Well, just imagine it was.

****

RORY: Are you mad at me?

****

LORELAI: No. [She starts picking the kitchen up, clearing the table and such]

****

RORY: Don't move those papers!

****

LORELAI: Not a good spot if you don't want them moved.

****

RORY: What the hell is wrong with you?

****

LORELAI: Nothing!

****

RORY: Yeah, right.

****

LORELAI: Just…stay out of it!

****

RORY: What am I staying out of?

****

LORELAI: This!

****

RORY: Whatever! ["Sweet Jane" by the Cowboy Junkies begins to play. RORY goes to her room and lays down on the bed. She can hear LORELAI angrily cleaning up the kitchen. RORY stares at the phone, but it doesn't ring. Rolling over on her side, she looks out the window. A single tear rolls down her cheek]

[Cut to the inn. SOOKIE comes out from the kitchen and leans on the front desk]

****

SOOKIE: It's not working.

****

LORELAI: What isn't?

****

SOOKIE: Pregnancy.

****

LORELAI: Is the old formula malfunctioning?

****

SOOKIE: Jackson and I are trying—

****

LORELAI: Uh-huh.

****

SOOKIE: --but nothing's happening.

****

LORELAI: Don't expect me to give you lessons.

****

SOOKIE: We're thinking of getting tested.

****

LORELAI: Tested?

****

SOOKIE: To see if one of us is abnormal.

****

LORELAI: How long have you been…ahem, trying?

****

SOOKIE: Well, about a week.

****

LORELAI: [Chuckles and lays her hand on SOOKIE'S arm] Sookie, it takes more time than that.

****

SOOKIE: How much more?

****

LORELAI: Sometimes, a lot.

****

SOOKIE: You're sure?

****

LORELAI: Positive.

****

SOOKIE: We're not…doing something wrong?

****

LORELAI: I hope not. It's a fairly simple concept.

****

SOOKIE: You and Chris just got lucky, huh? [SOOKIE nudges LORELAI with her elbow. LORELAI'S face darkens]

****

LORELAI: Don't mention Chris.

****

SOOKIE: Uh-oh. What's that mean?

****

LORELAI: It means that—that I don't want to talk about him.

****

SOOKIE: He called.

****

LORELAI: Message.

****

SOOKIE: You wouldn't answer the phone?

****

LORELAI: I am determined not to talk to him until my intense anger dies down a little.

****

SOOKIE: Good plan.

****

LORELAI: And he's telling me that he doesn't blame me for being angry. Doesn't _blame_ me! Like it's _his _job to forgive _me_.

****

SOOKIE: Maybe he's just trying to apologize.

****

LORELAI: I don't want an apology. I want him to take responsibility for everything.

****

SOOKIE: Seems to me like he's done a pretty good job of that already.

****

LORELAI: Not just for Sherry. For everything—all the Rory things he missed, all our abortive attempts at relationships, all his years of loafing. It's not fair that I feel like I carry guilt.

****

SOOKIE: Tell him that.

****

LORELAI: Not until the anger dies down, remember? Otherwise, I'll scream at him and ending up feeling guiltier than I do now.

****

SOOKIE: Then let the anger die down! Don't let it fester.

****

LORELAI: [Takes a deep breath] You're right. [Grins evilly] Maybe I'll just take some of it out on Michel.

****

MICHEL: I heard that.

****

LORELAI: Consider yourself warned.

****

SOOKIE: I better get back in there.

****

MICHEL: Yes, because God knows that without you in there, someone might make the first version of your menu.

****

LORELAI: Ignore him.

****

SOOKIE: Him who?

****

LORELAI: Good.

****

SOOKIE: Bye.

[Cut to Luke's the next morning. RORY enters, dressed for school, and walks up to the counter]

****

JESS: Morning.

****

RORY: Morning.

****

JESS: Coffee?

****

RORY: Yep.

****

JESS: [Fills up a cup] Here you go.

****

RORY: Can I get it to go?

****

JESS: You usually sit in here and drink it.

****

RORY: Not today.

****

JESS: [Raises his eyebrow] Reason?

****

RORY: Do I need to explain myself to you?

****

JESS: [Taken aback] No. [Fills up the cup] Here you go.

****

RORY: Thanks.

****

JESS: $1.28.

****

RORY: [Hands him the money] Here.

****

JESS: Thank you. I'll see you…later.

****

RORY: Yeah. [She takes her coffee and leaves. JESS stares after her, confused]

****

LUKE: Jess!

****

JESS: What?

****

LUKE: Phone.

****

JESS: Phone?

****

LUKE: Yes, phone.

****

JESS: Who?

****

LUKE: Liz.

****

JESS: I'm not here.

****

LUKE: Yes, you are.

****

JESS: I'm not talking to her.

****

LUKE: Yes, you are.

****

KIRK: I need my toast!

****

LUKE: Here, talk. [He thrusts the phone at JESS and shoves KIRK'S food on a plate]

****

JESS: Hello.

****

LIZ: Hello. [Long pause] How are you?

****

JESS: [Sarcastically] Practically on cloud nine.

****

LIZ: So, good.

****

JESS: Yep.

****

LIZ: You, uh, like Stars Hollow?

****

JESS: It has its redeeming qualities.

****

LIZ: Luke tells me you have a girlfriend.

****

JESS: [Glares at LUKE] Right.

****

LIZ: So…is she…

****

JESS: Nice? Very.

****

LIZ: Well.

****

JESS: Well.

****

LIZ: How's school?

****

JESS: Same.

****

LIZ: Luke mentioned you started doing better.

****

JESS: You and Luke talking a lot?

****

LIZ: I called before…you weren't there, so Luke filled me in on some stuff.

****

JESS: And you suddenly started caring when?

****

LIZ: I've never not cared, Jess.

****

JESS: Sure.

****

LIZ: I'm not the best mother, I know. But it was never from a lack of caring.

****

JESS: That's reassuring. What was it from?

****

LIZ: I had you too young.

****

JESS: Lorelai had Rory young. Didn't hurt them.

****

LIZ: Who?

****

JESS: My girlfriend.

****

LIZ: Your girlfriend has a kid?

****

JESS: [Sighs] No.

****

LIZ: Oh. Maybe Rory or Lorelai or whoever could handle that, but I couldn't. I've never been a very…stable person [JESS snorts], but I—I love you, Jess.

****

JESS: Yeah.

****

LIZ: Jess—

****

JESS: I have to get to school.

****

LIZ: Fine. I'll call later.

****

JESS: Don't bother. [Hangs up. He grabs his stuff for school and starts to leave]

****

LUKE: How is you—[JESS leaves without acknowledging LUKE]

****

KIRK: This isn't the right jelly!

****

LUKE: This is what you ordered.

****

KIRK: This is not what I ordered.

****

LUKE: You said grape. This is grape.

****

KIRK: No. I said marionberry.

****

LUKE: You said "grape," Kirk. If you want to change your order, just tell me.

****

KIRK: I'd like marionberry jelly, please.

****

LUKE: We don't have marionberry.

****

KIRK: Blackberry, then.

****

LUKE: No blackberry.

****

KIRK: Raspberry?

****

LUKE: We have grape, strawberry, or peach.

****

KIRK: Grape.

****

LUKE: [Picks up the package of jelly from the table and sets it down again] There you go. Grape jelly. ["Seven Years" by Norah Jones starts to play. LUKE walks over to the window and looks for JESS, who is walking away. He shakes his head and goes behind the counter]

[JESS is walking toward school. He looks for RORY at the bus stop, but she isn't there. JESS stares at the bench for a second, then continues on to school]

[Second commercial break]

[Open to the inn. MICHEL is at the desk when the phone rings. He stares at it for a few rings before picking it up]

****

MICHEL: Independence Inn.

****

EMILY: Michel!

****

MICHEL: Ah, Emily. How do you do?

****

EMILY: I'm quite well, Michel. And yourself?

****

MICHEL: Ah, wonderful as well.

****

EMILY: Is my daughter there?

****

MICHEL: Of course. Please hold.

****

EMILY: Gladly.

[MICHEL finds LORELAI in the dining room and throws the phone on the table in front of her]

****

LORELAI: Hello?

****

EMILY: Lorelai.

****

LORELAI: Hi, Mom.

****

EMILY: Hello.

****

LORELAI: Hi.

****

EMILY: How are things?

****

LORELAI: [Suspicious] Fine…

****

EMILY: Good. And Rory?

****

LORELAI: She's okay. She's sorry.

****

EMILY: She hasn't called.

****

LORELAI: She's afraid.

****

EMILY: Well, we would appreciate an apology.

****

LORELAI: You'll get one.

****

EMILY: Soon.

****

LORELAI: Soon. She's just…she's busy with school—

****

EMILY: That we pay for.

****

LORELAI: Oh, no.

****

EMILY: What?

****

LORELAI: No, no.

****

EMILY: "No" what?

****

LORELAI: You will not blackmail her, too.

****

EMILY: It's hardly blackmail.

****

LORELAI: It is, Mom.

****

EMILY: Well, it's true.

****

LORELAI: Be fair. She's busy at school, and she's thinking.

****

EMILY: Oh, thinking? About what?

****

LORELAI: What caused her to do that.

****

EMILY: It was probably that boy.

****

LORELAI: It wasn't Jess.

****

EMILY: How can you be so sure?

****

LORELAI: I just know, Mom.

****

EMILY: He is a bad influence on her.

****

LORELAI: You haven't met him.

****

EMILY: If I recall, you weren't so enthused about him, either.

****

LORELAI: Jess may not be the most personable…uh, person, but he cares about Rory.

****

EMILY: At least, you think he does.

****

LORELAI: He does. And he makes her happy, Mom. That's the most important thing.

****

EMILY: No, it's not.

****

LORELAI: Oh?

****

EMILY: It's not the most important thing.

****

LORELAI: Well, what is?

****

EMILY: Whether or not he's had the proper upbringing—

****

LORELAI: God.

****

EMILY: What?

****

LORELAI: That is not important, Mother.

****

EMILY: It is to me.

****

LORELAI: And since when do you get to make the decisions about Rory's life?

****

EMILY: Since you've been doing it poorly!

****

LORELAI: Stop! It's not my place to make this decision for her. She's almost eighteen, Mom.

****

EMILY: And this qualifies her to throw her life away?

****

LORELAI: She is not throwing her life away.

****

EMILY: She skipped an essential party with the dean of Yale.

****

LORELAI: That was not because of Jess.

****

EMILY: It was.

****

LORELAI: How do you know?

****

EMILY: Rory never would have done something like this before.

****

LORELAI: You and Dad pushed her to it.

****

EMILY: Excuse me?

****

LORELAI: You did. If you hadn't been so quick to judge Jess, she would have gone.

****

EMILY: Preposterous.

****

LORELAI: Maybe to you, but to an eighteen-year-old girl, you insulted her boyfriend before you even knew him. To Rory, that's close-minded and inexcusable.

****

EMILY: It is not my fault or your father's fault that Rory has made a poor choice of companion.

****

LORELAI: In your opinion. But in Rory's opinion, he's perfect. He likes books. He likes music. He's smart.

****

EMILY: He drives recklessly.

****

LORELAI: She is _happy_, Mom.

****

EMILY: Happiness is not all that matters in life.

****

LORELAI: What is?

****

EMILY: Associating yourself with the right kind of people.

****

LORELAI: So, what, you're going to put her in the tower now?

****

EMILY: What?

****

LORELAI: Never mind. The bottom line here is that I am her mother. I get to make the decision whether or not she is hanging out with the right people. You do not.

****

EMILY: But I can pay for her schooling?

****

LORELAI: You know, Mom, it's okay to hang that over my head, but not Rory's.

****

EMILY: Well, is she's so mature, she should be able to handle it.

****

LORELAI: What is wrong with you? You love this girl. Don't do this to her.

****

EMILY: Just have her call.

****

LORELAI: Fine.

****

EMILY: Fine.

****

LORELAI: Fine! [She hangs up and returns to sorting invitations, a little more maliciously than before]

[Cut to Chilton. RORY is walking down the hall and accidentally bumps into PARIS]

****

PARIS: Watch it!

****

RORY: Sorry.

****

PARIS: Whatever. [She tries to get around RORY, but she blocks her path]

****

RORY: You're going to need to speak to me again.

****

PARIS: Not the way I see it.

****

RORY: We have to run the school together.

****

PARIS: I'll write notes.

****

RORY: Paris, this is ridiculous. You might as well tell me why you're mad. Tristan has been gone for a long time now, so I know it's not him.

****

PARIS: Obviously. I have somewhere to go, you know.

****

RORY: Then tell me why you're so mad and you can go.

****

PARIS: What are you, a hall monitor now? You're going to need an orange vest.

****

RORY: This is stupid! We have to do class projects and newspaper projects and ASB projects, and it's really hard with you ignoring me.

****

PARIS: We all need our challenges in life.

****

RORY: I just don't understand why you would be so upset about Harvard. It's not like it's anything personal to you.

****

PARIS: No?

****

RORY: No. Of course not. I mean, now I won't be there to annoy you.

****

PARIS: You won't be there at all.

****

RORY: That's the gist.

****

PARIS: You know, I thought this would be good.

****

RORY: What? Never having to see me again?

****

PARIS: At first, yeah, I thought it would be horrible, going to the same college. But the more I thought about it, I figured, maybe it'd be nice to have someone I knew there, even if I hated them. And then I stopped totally hating you, and I thought maybe I'd have some sort of acquaintance to go to the cafeteria with or eat pizza with. But now there's not going to be anyone I know there.

****

RORY: Paris—

****

PARIS: I'll make friends. Yeah. I've heard that.

****

RORY: I'm serious. You will. Someone you like a lot better than me, and who you won't mind calling a friend.

****

PARIS: Whatever. I'm late.

****

RORY: Right. [Steps aside] Paris?

****

PARIS: What?

****

RORY: You're gonna have a great time at college. I mean it.

****

PARIS: Well… [She turns and keeps going. RORY smiles after her]

[Cut to RORY getting off the bus. JESS isn't at the bus stop again. RORY frowns, then walks over to LUKE'S]

****

RORY: Luke?

****

LUKE: Oh, hey, Rory. Coffee?

****

RORY: No, thanks. Is Jess here?

****

LUKE: [Gives her a funny look] No.

****

RORY: Oh.

****

LUKE: Sure you don't need anything?

****

RORY: No, no, I'm fine. Thanks. [She leaves and stands outside for a second, then walks to Lane's. She doesn't see anyone when she steps inside, so she calls] Lane?

****

MRS. KIM: Rory.

****

RORY: Oh, hi, Mrs. Kim. I didn't see you.

****

MRS. KIM: You are looking for Lane?

****

RORY: Yeah. Is she here?

****

MRS. KIM: Yes, she is here.

****

RORY: Oh, good. Do you think I could talk to her?

****

MRS. KIM: No.

****

RORY: Oh. Please? Just five minutes?

****

MRS. KIM: Lane is not allowed out of her room.

****

RORY: I'll go up there.

****

MRS. KIM: She is also not allowed to have visitors.

****

RORY: Mrs. Kim, I promise I'll be quick.

****

MRS. KIM: I'm sorry, Rory. Lane has disobeyed, and she is being punished. I cannot let her see friends.

****

RORY: Oh. Okay. Will you please tell her that I came by?

****

MRS. KIM: Yes.

****

RORY: Thank you. [She turns and leaves dejectedly]

[Cut to Gilmore house. RORY walks in the door, looking tired]

****

LORELAI: You're home late.

****

RORY: I walked around for a while.

****

LORELAI: Oh.

****

RORY: [Goes into kitchen] Is there food?

****

LORELAI: I don't know.

****

RORY: Well, did you order any?

****

LORELAI: No.

****

RORY: And you must have eaten the leftover Chinese.

****

LORELAI: Yeah.

****

RORY: So, no food.

****

LORELAI: I guess not. 

****

RORY: [Rolls her eyes and picks up the phone] Joe? Rory. I need a large pepperoni. Thirty? Fine. How much? Thirteen. Great.

****

LORELAI: [Comes into kitchen and sets mug down by sink] Your grandmother called.

****

RORY: And?

****

LORELAI: You are to call her and apologize.

****

RORY: Is this a command?

****

LORELAI: She wants an apology.

****

RORY: Fine.

****

LORELAI: You'll call?

****

RORY: Yes.

****

LORELAI: When?

****

RORY: When I get around to it.

****

LORELAI: Which means after your hour-long make-out session with Jess.

****

RORY: What? We don't have hour-long make-out sessions.

****

LORELAI: All I'm saying is that you've been home late for a while now.

****

RORY: I told you, I took a walk.

****

LORELAI: Right. Straight to Luke's.

****

RORY: That's not true.

****

LORELAI: There's no point in denying it. I was a teenager once, too.

****

RORY: Oh, really? I think you might still be one.

****

LORELAI: What the hell is _that_ supposed to mean?

****

RORY: It means that you're holding some stupid grudge against me. That's why you've been all distant and cold.

****

LORELAI: I have not been distant and cold.

****

RORY: Michael Sullivan is taking lessons from you.

****

LORELAI: I haven't been.

****

RORY: Then how come you'll only give me two-syllable replies?

****

LORELAI: I'm tired.

****

RORY: You've been tired before. This isn't tired.

****

LORELAI: Maybe I'm just sick of having no one to turn to!

****

RORY: Since when? I've always been here.

****

LORELAI: [Sighs shortly] That's not what I mean.

****

RORY: You mean Dad.

****

LORELAI: Yes!

****

RORY: You're mad at me because Dad left?

****

LORELAI: No.

****

RORY: Then what's with the Popsicle disguise?

****

LORELAI: It sucks that at seventeen, you have someone you can talk to…someone that isn't related to you.

****

RORY: You're…

****

LORELAI: …jealous.

****

RORY: Oh.

****

LORELAI: I know. It's sick.

****

RORY: No. I just wish you would have told me.

****

LORELAI: And your dad has been making me so angry lately. I don't want to unload on you and make you hate your dad and then have you sue me for therapy, but he's really ticking me off.

****

RORY: Talk to him. Oh, you're waiting to calm down.

****

LORELAI: Yes.

****

RORY: [Pauses] If it makes you feel any better, Jess is nowhere to be found.

****

LORELAI: That doesn't make me feel better.

****

RORY: [Sits down] It sucks.

****

LORELAI: So, he's suddenly MIA?

****

RORY: He hasn't been at the bus stop for two days now. He's always at the bus stop, with coffee sometimes. He isn't at Luke's after school, either.

****

LORELAI: Maybe he has stuff to do.

****

RORY: Then why wouldn't he tell me?

****

LORELAI: Maybe it's a surprise. Maybe he's trying to top Dean and is building you your own yacht.

****

RORY: Somehow, I doubt that.

****

LORELAI: It could be true.

****

RORY: Well, either way, he should call, or send a drum call or something.

****

LORELAI: Maybe he doesn't play drums.

****

RORY: He could get Lane to do it.

****

LORELAI: I thought she was under house arrest.

****

RORY: She is.

****

LORELAI: So that blows the drum call.

****

RORY: Maybe he really did just have something to do.

****

LORELAI: It's never good to jump to conclusions, Rory.

****

RORY: I know.

****

LORELAI: All right.

****

RORY: Mom?

****

LORELAI: What, hon?

****

RORY: Grandma really called you for an apology?

****

LORELAI: Oh, yeah. But she totally reamed me too.

****

RORY: Oh, well, good. 

****

LORELAI: Yeah, we wouldn't want her to waste time. This way, she could multitask.

****

RORY: I should go call.

****

LORELAI: I think that would be wise.

****

RORY: [Stands up and starts to go to her room, but turns] Mom?

****

LORELAI: Yeah?

****

RORY: You'll find someone.

****

LORELAI: Aw, babe. Yeah.

[RORY kisses her mom on the cheek and goes into her room. She takes a deep breath and dials the phone]

[Third commercial break]

[Open to LORELAI and SOOKIE at the inn]

****

SOOKIE: I just don't know what to do.

****

LORELAI: Um, well, not speaking to each other will definitely put a cramp in making a child.

****

SOOKIE: He thinks I don't appreciate him.

****

LORELAI: Well, what are his specific points?

****

SOOKIE: The dishes.

****

LORELAI: The dishes?

****

SOOKIE: I won't let him load the dishwasher.

****

LORELAI: Still?

****

SOOKIE: You know how I am. I mean, I've been loading that dishwasher for ten years. It's hard to just relinquish that over to someone.

****

LORELAI: Well, what would happen if he accidentally loaded it wrong?

****

SOOKIE: Well, for one, we wouldn't get maximum performance out of the dishwasher. And the dishes wouldn't get…as clean…

****

LORELAI: Maybe you're overreacting just a bit?

****

SOOKIE: Possibly.

****

LORELAI: Well, did he have any other examples?

****

SOOKIE: I won't sing with him.

****

LORELAI: Okay, that's not unappreciative, that's rational. Next.

****

SOOKIE: I criticize his vegetables too much.

****

LORELAI: You did that way before you were married.

****

SOOKIE: Maybe I'm just being crueler?

****

LORELAI: Somehow, I find that hard to believe.

****

SOOKIE: I don't know. But now we aren't speaking.

****

LORELAI: It's your first fight, Sookie. You two will get over it. You've been in fights before.

****

SOOKIE: But not fights when we have to sleep in the same bed and live under the same roof.

****

LORELAI: Just try talking to him. Do what you did when you weren't married.

****

SOOKIE: Right. Okay.

****

LORELAI: Everyone gets in fights.

****

SOOKIE: Yeah. I just wish it could have come at a more opportune time.

****

LORELAI: You'll make up. Just don't use too many dishes beforehand.

****

SOOKIE: Good plan. Talked to Chris?

****

LORELAI: Um…who?

****

SOOKIE: No, then.

****

LORELAI: No.

****

SOOKIE: Still letting the anger die down?

****

LORELAI: The anger…the jealousy…

****

SOOKIE: Jealousy?

****

LORELAI: Sookie, do you think I'm destined to be alone?

****

SOOKIE: Well, sweetie, you do have a very distinctive life, but I think you'll find someone.

****

LORELAI: Are you sure?

****

SOOKIE: No, but I have a feeling.

****

LORELAI: I'm jealous of Rory. She has this great guy—well, she thinks he's great, anyway—and she can talk to him. Chris has Sherry to go home to.

****

SOOKIE: You have Rory.

****

LORELAI: Not for long.

****

SOOKIE: Well, Luke will always be here.

****

LORELAI: What?

****

SOOKIE: Luke. You know, the man who's not-so-secretly in love with you?

****

LORELAI: That's insane, Sookie. I've told you that before.

****

SOOKIE: And the fact that he does anything for you has escaped your notice?

****

LORELAI: Oh, like what, pray tell?

****

SOOKIE: He kicked Jess out of town for you.

****

LORELAI: Bull.

****

SOOKIE: He made up with you. He made you a chuppa, for God's sake.

****

LORELAI: That was a long time ago.

****

SOOKIE: Some things never change. Luke never changes.

****

LORELAI: Look, Luke and I are, and will always remain, friends. Just friends, occasionally friendly antagonizers.

****

SOOKIE: Whatever you say.

****

LORELAI: Sookie!

****

SOOKIE: It's okay. I'm done now.

****

LORELAI: Good, because this is crazy talk.

****

SOOKIE: Just…think about it, okay, sweetie?

****

LORELAI: Think about what?

****

SOOKIE: Luke. Just consider it.

****

LORELAI: Okay…I'm done.

****

SOOKIE: The next time you see him, watch him around you, and tell me he's not in love with you.

****

LORELAI: Oh, God. Sookie…

****

SOOKIE: Dropping it.

****

LORELAI: Good. I'm gonna go save the guests from Michel.

****

SOOKIE: Okay.

[LORELAI leaves. SOOKIE smiles to herself]

[Cut to RORY at the bus stop. JESS isn't there. She starts walking to Luke's, but suddenly changes direction]

[Cut to RORY walking on the bridge. JESS is sitting there, staring out into the distance. **RORY** sees him, but doesn't stop]

****

JESS: Rory!

****

RORY: [Turns] What?

****

JESS: Where are you going?

****

RORY: Home.

****

JESS: You wanna stay?

****

RORY: No.

****

JESS: You don't have coffee.

****

RORY: Didn't want any.

****

JESS: Oh.

****

RORY: Anything else?

****

JESS: Whoa.

****

RORY: What?

****

JESS: That sounded hostile.

****

RORY: It wasn't.

****

JESS: Rory.

****

RORY: What?

****

JESS: Come on. What's up?

****

RORY: Nothing. I have a totally boring life.

****

JESS: So, you're avoiding me because…

****

RORY: Avoiding you?

****

JESS: The other day, at Luke's…you haven't come in since.

****

RORY: [Under her breath] Like you'd know.

****

JESS: What does that mean?

****

RORY: It means, you haven't been around a lot. But, I mean, you must have some really important thing to do.

****

JESS: What's _that_ supposed to mean?

****

RORY: Figure it out. [She marches off. JESS follows her]

****

JESS: It'll be faster if you just tell me.

****

RORY: I like things slow.

****

JESS: I don't.

****

RORY: Then I guess we're mismatched.

****

JESS: Okay, what's wrong?

****

RORY: [Stops] Where have you been?

****

JESS: School. Bridge.

****

RORY: [Sighs] Never mind.

****

JESS: What?

****

RORY: Just…no. Whatever. [Starts walking again]

****

JESS: [Follows] Come on.

****

RORY: No.

****

JESS: [Finally blowing up, but trying to keep his voice relatively quiet] What the hell is wrong with you?

****

RORY: Wrong with me!

****

JESS: Yeah, wrong with you!

****

RORY: There's nothing wrong with me! It's you!

****

JESS: What did I do?

****

RORY: [Sighs, frustrated] Nothing!

****

JESS: Fine, whatever. You wanna be mad? Go, be mad. But don't whine to me until you get it straight yourself.

****

RORY: [Yelling] Fine!

****

JESS: Yeah, fine.

****

RORY: Fine! [She turns on her heel and runs toward home]

****

JESS: [Quietly, to himself] Fine.

[JESS stands at the end of the bridge and stares after her]

[Cut to LORELAI coming into the house. She sheds her coat by the front door and drops her bag, too]

****

LORELAI: Rory?

****

RORY: Kitchen.

****

LORELAI: [Coming into the kitchen, where RORY is at the table] Is there pizza?

****

RORY: Yeah, fridge.

****

LORELAI: Thank God.

****

RORY: Bad day?

****

LORELAI: Just the usual. You know, broken water pipe.

****

RORY: Oh, no.

****

LORELAI: Michel got his loafers wet.

****

RORY: That was mean.

****

LORELAI: What? I didn't have anyone else to send up there.

****

RORY: Rune?

****

LORELAI: Oh…he had the day off.

****

RORY: Huh. What a coincidence.

****

LORELAI: Strange, huh?

****

RORY: Very.

[The phone rings, but neither RORY nor LORELAI jumps up]

****

LORELAI: What if it's Jess?

****

RORY: He'll leave a message. What if it's Dad?

****

LORELAI: Then I hope he realizes that he dialed the wrong number on his speed dial for pizza and hangs up.

****

RORY: So, we'll just let it ring.

****

LORELAI: Deal.

[The machine kicks in]

****

LORELAI: [On machine] Tell us who you are, maybe we'll give you a call.

****

RORY: That's horrible.

****

LORELAI: I was too tired to think up something wittier.

****

CHRISTOPHER: [On machine] Uh, hey, it's me.

****

LORELAI: Ugh.

****

CHRISTOPHER: Look, I just wanted to let you know that Sherry is gone. Uh, she left yesterday to go live with her parents in Maine. So if you want to give me a call…either one of you…do that.

****

LORELAI: Huh.

****

RORY: Huh.

****

LORELAI: Are you going to call?

****

RORY: No. Are you?

****

LORELAI: No.

[They stare at the machine]

****

RORY: Well, I think I'm going to start typing this paper up.

****

LORELAI: Okay. Go ahead. [RORY leaves for her room. LORELAI looks at the machine for a long time, then hits "delete" on the machine]

[Cut to RORY in her room. She's typing her paper furiously when there's a knock on her window. She gets up and opens it, leaning on the sill]

****

RORY: Hey.

****

JESS: Hey.

****

RORY: I'm sorry.

****

JESS: Me too.

****

RORY: I completely overreacted.

****

JESS: Yeah. To what, exactly?

****

RORY: I had a bad day on Monday. Paris got on me about my SAT's, and then I finally gave in and told her that I wasn't going to Harvard, and she got mad at me, and now she hasn't been speaking to me regularly for a few days. That's a bad sign. And I was hoping you'd be waiting for me, like usual. But then I got to the bus stop, and you weren't there, so I walked home, and I ran into Dean, and we made mildly pleasant small talk, and he has a new girlfriend. She's all…tall and pretty and…just…and then you didn't call. It sucked, and then I blew it out of proportion, and I figured you were avoiding me, or maybe you got a new girlfriend, since that seems to be the trend—

****

JESS: Whoa. Stop.

****

RORY: Okay.

****

JESS: Just calm down.

****

RORY: I'm calm.

****

JESS: I'm sorry you had a bad day. And I'm sorry I wasn't there.

****

RORY: It's okay. I see my stupidity now.

****

JESS: I hope you weren't serious about the new girlfriend thing.

****

RORY: Not entirely.

****

JESS: Rory…

****

RORY: Although it has been known to happen.

****

JESS: We weren't…anything.

****

RORY: I know.

****

JESS: You…trust me, right? I mean, I know I don't look like the greatest candidate, but I wouldn't hurt you like that.

****

RORY: I know, I know. I was temporarily insane. Paris, then Dean, and my mom was being weird.

****

JESS: If you say so.

****

RORY: Yeah. So…why weren't you there?

****

JESS: Luke is making me go to SAT preparation sessions.

****

RORY: What?

****

JESS: Yeah, you heard right.

****

RORY: You're—you—you're going to SAT preparations?

****

JESS: Everyday after school.

****

RORY: So, you're taking the test then?

****

JESS: Looks like it.

****

RORY: Why didn't you tell me?

****

JESS: I didn't want you to get all disappointed if I ended up not taking the test.

****

RORY: But you think you'll take it?

****

JESS: Yeah.

****

RORY: Then why not tell me? I could help you study.

****

JESS: I just don't want to let you down.

****

RORY: What let me down was not telling me.

****

JESS: I see that now.

****

RORY: Good. So, from now on…

****

JESS: I'll tell you. I'm just not used to this whole serious relationship thing.

****

RORY: Oh, so we're serious?

****

JESS: [Grins] Seriously.

****

RORY: Good. [Sighs] So, how was your day?

****

JESS: Equally distressing.

****

RORY: So…

****

JESS: My mom called.

****

RORY: But isn't that kind of…good?

****

JESS: You've never met my mother.

****

RORY: She can't be crazier than mine.

****

JESS: It's not insanity. It's—she's—I don't know.

****

RORY: Wow. When?

****

JESS: The morning you took the to-go coffee.

****

RORY: Oh.

****

JESS: Luke told her about you.

****

RORY: Is that bad?

****

JESS: I would rather he hadn't.

****

RORY: Oh. 

****

JESS: Rory?

****

RORY: Jess?

****

JESS: I…[JESS looks like he's going to say something meaningful, but changes his mind] I'm sorry.

****

RORY: It's forgotten.

****

JESS: I was worried about you. You were all mad at me. I thought your mom had said something about me.

****

RORY: No. It was my own mind.

****

JESS: Okay. [He pulls her down and kisses her. RORY puts her hands on his face. When he pulls away, RORY pulls him back and kisses him again]

****

RORY: So, you won't be at the bus stop tomorrow?

****

JESS: Not for a couple weeks.

****

RORY: Can you come over tomorrow?

****

JESS: Sure.

****

RORY: And bring your study stuff.

****

JESS: Oh, no.

****

RORY: Oh, yes. You're going to get the best score in SAT history.

****

JESS: Which would be a 1600. 

****

RORY: We'll get you extra credit.

****

JESS: I don't think that's possible.

****

RORY: That's because no one's tried before.

****

JESS: Out of the two of us, I think you'd be more likely to get extra credit.

****

RORY: You could.

****

JESS: If I just agree, will this insanity stop?

****

RORY: Immediately.

****

JESS: Okay. I think I could get extra credit on my SAT's.

****

RORY: Here's to positive thinking.

****

JESS: Bye.

****

RORY: Bye. [He kisses her one more time and walks away]

[Fourth commercial break]

[Open to RICHARD and EMILY in their living room]

****

EMILY: It's just absurd, Richard. Not speaking to your own granddaughter!

****

RICHARD: What she did is inexcusable.

****

EMILY: She apologized. Let's just try to move on.

****

RICHARD: Move on? Move on? And, what, wait for it to happen again?

****

EMILY: Rory assured me it wouldn't happen again.

****

RICHARD: Yes, well, she assured me this wouldn't happen in the first place.

****

EMILY: Did you get that in writing?

****

RICHARD: This is not the time, Emily. She told me, she told me that she would never let a boy blind her of her goals.

****

EMILY: It wasn't the boy, Richard.

****

RICHARD: That's preposterous, of course it was the boy.

****

EMILY: It was you.

****

RICHARD: What!

****

EMILY: Yes. You pushed her to it.

****

RICHARD: This is ridiculous. I refuse to participate in this conversation. [He leaves the room. EMILY follows]

****

EMILY: She was afraid to introduce him to us.

****

RICHARD: Rightly so! That certainly says something about this boy.

****

EMILY: And us! Rory, afraid to bring someone around. If we aren't careful…

****

RICHARD: What?

****

EMILY: We will lose her.

****

RICHARD: She isn't Lorelai.

****

EMILY: Listen to the girl, Richard. Move on. We're going to lose her.

****

RICHARD: What she needs is something to wake her up.

****

EMILY: Oh?

****

RICHARD: Yes. I'm going to revoke her acceptance.

****

EMILY: Richard!

****

RICHARD: I'm going to call the dean now and have him take her off the list.

****

EMILY: Richard, you cannot do that.

****

RICHARD: If she can't handle one night of obligation, she cannot handle college.

****

EMILY: Richard, I mean it, do not do this.

****

RICHARD: Why not, Emily?

****

EMILY: It's horrible. You promised her acceptance. What is she's based her plans on it?

****

RICHARD: I based my plans on seeing her at that party. Those fell through. These will fall through accordingly.

****

EMILY: Richard, you love this little girl.

****

RICHARD: And part of love is discipline.

****

EMILY: Quit. Just talk to her. Before you do this, talk to her.

****

RICHARD: [Huffs]

[Cut to JESS letting himself in through the Gilmores' back door]

****

JESS: Rory?

****

RORY: Bedroom. [She meets him at the door of her room] Hey.

****

JESS: Hey. [He leans down and kisses her]

****

RORY: How was the session?

****

JESS: Boring.

****

RORY: I hate to tell you this, but you're going to be equally bored here.

****

JESS: Ah, great.

****

RORY: Let's get started. [She walks past him and sits at the suspiciously clean kitchen table]

****

JESS: Why is this table so clean?

****

RORY: Duh. We'll need room.

****

JESS: Oh, man. You cleaned the table?

****

RORY: And I don't do that for just anyone.

****

JESS: Don't I feel warm and fuzzy now.

****

RORY: You should. [She starts pulling books out of her bag]

****

JESS: We're just going to sit here and study.

****

RORY: That's the plan.

****

JESS: This is the strangest afternoon ever.

****

RORY: Get used to it.

[They sit and study for a little; JESS taps his pencil, and his eyes keep wandering to RORY, who is engrossed in her books]

****

JESS: So, how did it go with your grandma?

****

RORY: [Looks up, startled] Oh. Oh, okay. I mean, she'll probably get back to normal eventually. My grandpa wouldn't even talk to me.

****

JESS: Really?

****

RORY: Really. We've only ever been in one fight.

****

JESS: One? About what, David Rakoff: funny or melancholy?

****

RORY: About Dean.

****

JESS: They met Dean?

****

RORY: Uh-huh. It didn't go over too well.

****

JESS: They didn't like him?

****

RORY: No.

****

JESS: So, basically, I was headed for self-destruction.

****

RORY: Pretty much. [She smiles at him and returns to her books. JESS smiles at her and cracks a book]

[Cut to later that evening, Gilmore house. RORY and JESS are studying at the table. There's a knock at the front door]

****

RORY: I didn't order pizza.

****

JESS: That's the only person that knocks on your door?

****

RORY: Pretty much. Mom uses the key in the turtle when she loses her key, so every other day.

****

JESS: Maybe you should go answer it.

****

RORY: Hmm… [She gets up and goes to the door, flinging it open] Dad.

****

CHRISTOPHER: Hey, kid.

****

RORY: Dad.

****

CHRISTOPHER: How are you?

****

RORY: What are you doing here?

****

CHRISTOPHER: That means, "I'm really, really happy to see you, Dad," right?

****

RORY: Um, I guess.

****

CHRISTOPHER: So, can I come in?

****

RORY: Well, uh, sure. [She steps aside so he can come in]

****

CHRISTOPHER: Your mom isn't home yet?

****

RORY: No, no she's not home. It's just me and Jess.

****

CHRISTOPHER: Jess is here? Car kid?

****

RORY: Boyfriend kid.

****

CHRISTOPHER: You said you were just friends.

****

RORY: We were.

****

CHRISTOPHER: "Were"? When did this happen?

****

RORY: When you weren't calling.

****

CHRISTOPHER: I'm sorry.

****

RORY: That's okay. I got over it.

****

CHRISTOPHER: Did you get my message?

****

RORY: Oh, yeah.

****

CHRISTOPHER: And…

****

RORY: We got it.

****

CHRISTOPHER: Were you going to call?

****

RORY: You didn't give me a lot of time to think about it.

****

CHRISTOPHER: But would you have?

****

RORY: Do you want something to drink? [She turns and goes into the kitchen. CHRISTOPHER sighs and follows her. RORY widens her eyes at JESS] Jess, this is my dad.

****

CHRISTOPHER: [Coldly, but civilly] Hello.

****

JESS: Mr…

****

RORY: Hayden.

****

JESS: Mr. Hayden.

****

CHRISTOPHER: Jess.

****

RORY: So, we have water, or coffee.

****

CHRISTOPHER: Such an assortment. I'm a little scared of your coffee. I'll take the water.

****

RORY: A fine choice.

****

CHRISTOPHER: So, you two were…

****

RORY: Studying.

****

CHRISTOPHER: Oh. Good. [RORY fills a glass up from the Brita in the fridge] So, Jess.

****

JESS: Mr. Hayden.

****

CHRISTOPHER: How's school?

****

JESS: Better.

****

CHRISTOPHER: And your driving skills?

****

RORY: Okay. Here. [She hands him the glass]

****

JESS: I'm getting lessons from the cast of "The Fast and the Furious."

****

CHRISTOPHER: I see.

****

RORY: Um, Jess is going to preparation sessions for the SAT's.

****

CHRISTOPHER: That sounds good.

****

JESS: Oh, it is. Just bunches of fun.

****

RORY: [Shoots JESS a look] How's Sherry?

****

CHRISTOPHER: Coming along fine.

****

RORY: So, this stint in Maine…is this just a vacation?

****

CHRISTOPHER: I don't think so.

****

RORY: Ah.

****

CHRISTOPHER: Look, let's not discuss that now.

****

RORY: Fine.

[The three sit there in uncomfortable silence. The front door bangs open and closed]

****

LORELAI: Rory! There's a car in our… [She comes into the kitchen and sees CHRISTOPHER] …driveway.

****

RORY: Yup.

****

LORELAI: Hi, Jess.

****

JESS: Lorelai.

****

LORELAI: Christopher.

****

CHRISTOPHER: Hey, Lor.

****

LORELAI: Hey, Rory, Jess, do you feel like going for a walk?

****

RORY: Yes! [She grabs JESS and hauls him outside]

****

JESS: What about my stuff?

****

RORY: We'll come back later. [They go down the porch steps and start walking]

[Cut inside]

****

LORELAI: What the _hell_ are you doing here?

****

CHRISTOPHER: I came here to see you and Rory.

****

LORELAI: There. You've seen us.

****

CHRISTOPHER: And spend time with you two.

****

LORELAI: Well, I've had enough time.

****

CHRISTOPHER: Come on, Lorelai.

****

LORELAI: Come on what?

****

CHRISTOPHER: You can't freeze me out forever.

****

LORELAI: Are you willing to make a wager on that?

****

CHRISTOPHER: I came down here to talk to you about everything.

****

LORELAI: Then I'm sorry you wasted your time. No, you know what? I'm not. I've wasted time on you and never gotten an apology.

****

CHRISTOPHER: That was a little harsh, Lorelai.

****

LORELAI: It's true. How many years of my life do you think I've wasted, just waiting for you to get your act together?

****

CHRISTOPHER: Well, you should have told me you were waiting!

****

LORELAI: You wouldn't have listened!

****

CHRISTOPHER: Who knows?

****

LORELAI: Now? No one.

****

CHRISTOPHER: I have my act together now, Lorelai. And I want to be with you. You and Rory.

****

LORELAI: Tough. You threw your chance away.

****

CHRISTOPHER: I didn't know that Sherry was going to be pregnant.

****

LORELAI: Then you shouldn't have promised something you weren't sure about! Do you have any clue how much you hurt Rory and I?

****

CHRISTOPHER: I'm sorry.

****

LORELAI: The phrase "too little, too late" comes to mind.

****

CHRISTOPHER: So does the word "stubborn."

****

LORELAI: I've told you this before, Christopher. You can't come in and out of our lives as you please. Last time, you promised you would be a lasting presence, and you couldn't keep it, and that was the last time. I can't take it anymore, and neither can Rory. I think it would be best if you just left.

****

CHRISTOPHER: Sherry isn't coming back, Lorelai.

****

LORELAI: Fine.

****

CHRISTOPHER: So we can be together now.

****

LORELAI: Did you not just hear what I said?

****

CHRISTOPHER: Reconsider.

****

LORELAI: No. Leave, Chris, before Rory and Jess come back from their walk.

****

CHRISTOPHER: I can't say goodbye to Rory?

****

LORELAI: She won't want you to.

****

CHRISTOPHER: You're so sure?

****

LORELAI: Yes.

****

CHRISTOPHER: Okay. [He walks to the front door. LORELAI follows him] Bye, Lor.

****

LORELAI: I wish it could have been different, Chris.

****

CHRISTOPHER: Yeah. Me too. [He gets in his car and drives away. LORELAI walks back inside, looking sad. She picks up the phone]

****

LORELAI: [On phone] Ah, hey, Sookie, it's me. I guess you're not there right now, so I'll just talk to you tomorrow. [She hangs up and walks around aimlessly for a bit, then takes her keys off the hall table and gets into the Jeep]

[Just after she's out the door, the phone rings. The machine picks up]

****

LORELAI: [On machine] Tell us who you are, maybe we'll give you a call.

****

RICHARD: [On machine] Hello, Rory, it's Grandpa. [Pause] Well, I suppose you're not there right now, but I think we owe each other apologies. [Pause] Please call—when you get the time.

[Cut to RORY and JESS walking by the inn. RORY'S arms is looped through JESS' and they're walking slowly]

****

RORY: …so my mom never got a coming out party and my grandparents wanted me to have one.

****

JESS: That explains the frilly dress.

****

RORY: That's the whole story.

****

JESS: I never pictured you as a debutante.

****

RORY: Don't start now.

****

JESS: Or your mom, for that matter.

****

RORY: Good, 'cause she wasn't.

****

JESS: And you played a vital role in that.

****

RORY: [Jabs him softly] Hush, you.

****

JESS: So, this studying thing?

****

RORY: Every afternoon.

****

JESS: Why did Luke pay for me to go to a session? You're free.

****

RORY: I demand coffee.

****

JESS: Cheap.

****

RORY: And as I recall, you aren't the best pupil.

****

JESS: That's only in Drivers' Ed.

****

RORY: My mistake.

[They walk in silence for a minute]

****

JESS: So, that's your dad.

****

RORY: That's him. I'm sorry about the little interrogation.

****

JESS: It wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be. I mean, based on the rest of this town, I thought I might be hooked up to a lie detector and tortured.

****

RORY: That comes later, when you meet my grandpa.

****

JESS: Just so I'm warned.

****

RORY: And you'd do it?

****

JESS: What?

****

RORY: The lie detector. You'd sit through that?

****

JESS: Sure.

****

RORY: Good.

****

JESS: You weren't being literal, were you?

[RORY just raises her eyebrows]

****

RORY: Hey, what time is it?

****

JESS: 6:30.

****

RORY: We could probably go back.

****

JESS: Do we have to?

****

RORY: [Smiles] No. [She stops suddenly at the place of their first kiss]

****

JESS: What?

****

RORY: I do believe this is landmark. 

****

JESS: It doesn't have a plaque of any kind. Huh.

[RORY wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him. He pulls her close by the waist]

****

RORY: I don't think it needs a plaque.

****

JESS: Why'd you do it?

****

RORY: Do what?

****

JESS: Kiss me, that first time.

****

RORY: I had a seizure. I told you.

****

JESS: Rory.

****

RORY: Okay, okay. Maybe I just really missed you. So, why'd you move back?

****

JESS: I had a seizure.

****

RORY: Jess.

****

JESS: Maybe I just really missed you.

****

RORY: That's more like it.

[JESS leans down and kisses her again]

[Cut to Luke's. LORELAI walks in, looking dejected]

****

LUKE: Nice look.

****

LORELAI: Bad day. Coffee?

****

LUKE: Brewing.

****

LORELAI: Oh, goody, fresh.

****

LUKE: Yup, it's your lucky night.

****

LORELAI: I could contest that statement on many counts.

****

LUKE: Oh, yeah?

****

LORELAI: Yeah.

****

LUKE: Hmm.

****

LORELAI: You're not going to ask?

****

LUKE: Does it have to do with Jess?

****

LORELAI: No.

****

LUKE: Nope.

****

LORELAI: Thank God.

****

LUKE: Here you go. Fresh. [He hands her the coffee]

[LORELAI stares into the coffee for a minute, then looks up at LUKE, who's wiping the counter]

****

LORELAI: Luke?

****

LUKE: Huh?

****

LORELAI: Do you…uh… [She gestures] Never mind.

****

LUKE: [Gives her a funny look] Okay.

****

LORELAI: It's just, Sookie told me something, and I was wondering if it was true.

****

LUKE: You already know I was a Trekkie.

****

LORELAI: No, not about childhood fetishes.

****

LUKE: So?

****

LORELAI: Oh, it was nothing.

****

LUKE: If you say so.

****

LORELAI: Luke?

****

LUKE: Lorelai?

****

LORELAI: Do you think I'm destined to be alone?

****

LUKE: [Sighs] No.

****

LORELAI: Really?

****

LUKE: Really.

****

LORELAI: 'Cause I'm not an animal person.

****

LUKE: That's surprising.

****

LORELAI: You know what?

****

LUKE: What?

****

LORELAI: This is good coffee.

****

LUKE: I guess that's why you drink ten cups a day. They can close that case on "Unsolved Mysteries."

****

LORELAI: Good. I was getting tired of that one.

[It's silent for a while]

****

LORELAI: Luke?

****

LUKE: Yes?

****

LORELAI: It's nice…knowing you'll always be there.

****

LUKE: [Pauses] Likewise.

[LORELAI smiles; LUKE grins a tiny, tiny grin. Fade out as LUKE cleans and LORELAI sips her coffee]

[End of episode]


	5. Teenage Wasteland

****

"Teenage Wasteland"

  
  
Special thanks to **Kyla**, who gave me great beta feedback, and **Kate**, who read through this dreg before I put it up, and who just rocks in general.   


****

Announcer: Previously on _Gilmore Girls_…

[_Cut to RORY and JESS in the truck at the elder Gilmore residence_]

****

RORY: We're not going. Just…turn. Turn around.

****

JESS: Okay. [_He turns, and they leave. RORY looks over her shoulder at the house_]

[_Cut to RORY and DEAN standing on the sidewalk_]

****

RORY: So… [_RORY tilts her head when she sees a pretty girl walk up from behind DEAN. She puts her arm around his waist, and he turns to her and kisses her forehead_]

****

DEAN: Oh, ah, Rory, this is Sarah.

****

RORY: H-hi. [_She extends her hand_]

[_Cut to JESS at Luke's counter, talking on the phone_]

****

JESS: Hello.

****

LIZ: Hello. [_Long pause_] How are you?

****

JESS: [_Sarcastically_] Practically on cloud nine.

[_Cut to LORELAI at the Inn's desk, on the phone_]

****

LORELAI: Never mind. The bottom line here is that I am her mother. I get to make the decision whether or not she is hanging out with the right people. You do not.

****

EMILY: But I can pay for her schooling?

****

LORELAI: You know, Mom, it's okay to hang that over my head, but not Rory's.

****

EMILY: Well, is she's so mature, she should be able to handle it.

****

LORELAI: What is wrong with you? You love this girl. Don't do this to her.

[_Cut to RORY and PARIS in the hall_]

****

PARIS: At first, yeah, I thought it would be horrible, going to the same college. But the more I thought about it, I figured, maybe it'd be nice to have someone I knew there, even if I hated them. And then I stopped totally hating you, and I thought maybe I'd have some sort of acquaintance to go to the cafeteria with or eat pizza with. But now there's not going to be anyone I know there.

[_Cut to RORY and LORELAI at the kitchen counter_]

****

LORELAI: It sucks that at seventeen, you have someone you can talk to…someone that isn't related to you.

****

RORY: You're…

****

LORELAI: …jealous.

[_Cut to RORY and JESS on the bridge_]

****

JESS: Fine, whatever. You wanna be mad? Go, be mad. But don't whine to me until you get it straight yourself.

****

RORY: [_Yelling_] Fine!

****

JESS: Yeah, fine.

****

RORY: Fine! [_She turns on her heel and runs toward home_]

****

JESS: [_Quietly, to himself_] Fine.

[_JESS stands at the end of the bridge and stares after her_]

[_Cut to RORY and JESS at RORY'S bedroom window_]

****

JESS: I'll tell you. I'm just not used to this whole serious relationship thing.

****

RORY: Oh, so we're serious?

****

JESS: [_Grins_] Seriously.

[_Cut to RICHARD and EMILY_]

****

RICHARD: I based my plans on seeing her at that party. Those fell through. These will fall through accordingly.

****

EMILY: Richard, you love this little girl.

[_Cut to CHRISTOPHER and LORELAI in LORELAI'S kitchen_]

****

LORELAI: I've told you this before, Christopher. You can't come in and out of our lives as you please. Last time, you promised you would be a lasting presence, and you couldn't keep it, and that was the last time. I can't take it anymore, and neither can Rory. I think it would be best if you just left.

****

CHRISTOPHER: Sherry isn't coming back, Lorelai.

[_Cut to LUKE and LORELAI at Luke's_]

****

LORELAI: Luke?

****

LUKE: Yes?

****

LORELAI: It's nice…knowing you'll always be there.

****

LUKE: [_Pauses_] Likewise.

[_Open to Luke's. RORY and JESS are upstairs, studying_]

****

RORY: Name the four faces on Mount Rushmore.

****

JESS: This is insane. The SAT is not random trivia.

****

RORY: This isn't random trivia.

****

JESS: Well, it's also not a question on the SAT.

****

RORY: It could be.

****

JESS: Oh? What, geographical trivia in the middle of the math section?

****

RORY: You need to be prepared.

****

JESS: I am prepared, if it's ever a question on Jeopardy!

****

RORY: Well?

****

JESS: Washington, Lincoln, Jefferson, Roosevelt.

****

RORY: Very good.

****

JESS: [_Narrows his eyes_] You just wanted to see if I knew.

****

RORY: It's a legitimate question!

****

JESS: Right. [_JESS rolls his eyes, then cracks an SAT study book. RORY watches him_] Yes?

****

RORY: Does this mean my services have been refused?

****

JESS: I'll ask you if I ever need a study buddy for "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire."

****

RORY: They canceled that show.

****

JESS: Exactly.

****

RORY: [_Rolls her eyes_] Thanks a lot.

****

JESS: [_Suggestively_] I think you're more of a distraction than anything else.

****

RORY: [_Blushes_] Right. Okay. Uh, I should be heading home anyway. I need to get ready for the grandparents dinner.

****

JESS: You made up?

****

RORY: I talked with my grandpa.

****

JESS: And…

****

RORY: And we didn't really talk directly about the party, but we talked.

****

JESS: That's good.

****

RORY: I don't think he's pleased with me, though.

****

JESS: I'm not fit for his little debutante?

****

RORY: [_Gives him a look_] Quit that.

****

JESS: Quit what?

****

RORY: You know what.

****

JESS: Talking? That would make our study sessions a little smoother. But there are a lot of things two people can do that don't involve talking.

****

RORY: Putting yourself down.

****

JESS: Oh, that.

****

RORY: Yes, that. [_Checks her watch_] I really should go. [_Haughtily_] I have my own studies, you know.

****

JESS: Far be it for me to hold you back from your academic glory.

****

RORY: Okay. [_She stands up and walks around the table to kiss him. He wraps his hand around her neck and starts to deepen the kiss when the apartment door bangs open and shut. LUKE walks in_]

****

LUKE: Ah, geez!

****

RORY: [_Breaks away suddenly_] Luke! Hi. I was just…leaving.

****

LUKE: Right. 

****

RORY: Right. [_To JESS_] Um, I'll talk to you later?

****

JESS: Yup.

****

RORY: Okay. Bye, Luke. Bye, Jess. [_She exits the apartment quickly_]

****

LUKE: So, you were…

****

JESS: Studying.

****

LUKE: Jess, I think we need to talk.

****

JESS: Talk? Like on Oprah?

****

LUKE: Shut up.

****

JESS: Kind of defeats the purpose of talking, if you ask me.

****

LUKE: Look, Jess…[_LUKE gestures as he thinks_]

****

JESS: Look at what?

****

LUKE: Rory's a really…really nice girl, and, uh, I don't want that to change.

****

JESS: [_Flatly_] And you think I'm going to.

****

LUKE: Well, not necessarily, but she…she really likes you, Jess. And she's a little, uh, naïve about certain things.

****

JESS: [_Rolls his eyes_] You know, I think I've gotten this talk from about fifteen people now.

****

LUKE: Well, then you'll just have to sit through it again. Rory means a lot to me, and I don't want her hurt.

****

JESS: God, you and this whole damn town!

****

LUKE: What?

****

JESS: You all think I'm on some sick mission to tear her apart!

****

LUKE: No!

****

JESS: No?

****

LUKE: No. I know you wouldn't purposely hurt her. But Rory doesn't know people like you.

****

JESS: People like me?

****

LUKE: You know…people who haven't always been surrounded by people that love them.

****

JESS: And this would lead me to hurt her…how?

****

LUKE: Look, just don't, okay?

****

JESS: Great talk.

****

LUKE: And Lorelai is watching you with an industrial-grade microscope.

****

JESS: This isn't new information.

****

LUKE: All right, all right. Just one more thing. She's, you know…inexperienced.

****

JESS: Oh, Jesus.

****

LUKE: Take it slow, okay?

****

JESS: [_Stands_] I need to go wash my ears out.

****

LUKE: Jess! Do you understand?

****

JESS: [_Walking towards the bathroom_] I got it. [_JESS slams the door. LUKE stares at the door for a while, then shakes his head and goes out the apartment door_]

[_Opening credits_]

[_First commercial break_]

[_Open to RICHARD and EMILY'S house. RORY and LORELAI are standing on the front steps_]

****

LORELAI: You ready?

****

RORY: I don't know.

****

LORELAI: I'll help. Have you ever been attacked by man-eating centipedes?

****

RORY: I can't say that I have.

****

LORELAI: Now you'll know what it feels like.

****

RORY: And this is helping…how?

****

LORELAI: Just the facts, kid.

****

RORY: Thanks a lot, Danny DeVito.

****

LORELAI: No problem, Russell Crowe.

****

RORY: It's not going to be that bad.

****

LORELAI: [_Laughs shortly_] You're disillusioned, my friend.

****

RORY: We already had our screaming match. In fact, there was hardly a screaming match. One hang-up, an apology, and now here we are.

****

LORELAI: That's the tip of the iceberg. Then comes the years of blackmail and humiliation.

****

RORY: Just ring the bell.

****

LORELAI: It's your funeral.

****

RORY: [_After a pause_] Centipedes?

****

LORELAI: Your grandfather—[_EMILY yanks the door open_] Hi, Mom.

****

EMILY: Your grandfather what?

****

LORELAI: Has excellent taste in women.

****

EMILY: You're so crude, Lorelai. Come in. [_RORY and LORELAI enter_] Your father will be a little late this evening.

****

LORELAI: Hit going down?

****

EMILY: Your gibberish has ceased to penetrate my ears. He is finishing up a job at the firm and will be here thirty minutes late. If we're lucky.

****

RORY: So business is good.

****

EMILY: Splendid. We're pleased.

****

RORY: I bet.

****

EMILY: What would you like to drink? Soda?

****

RORY: That's fine.

****

EMILY: Lorelai?

****

LORELAI: Ah, wine, Mom.

****

EMILY: Red or white?

****

LORELAI: It doesn't matter.

****

EMILY: You've managed to narrow it down this far, Lorelai, you might as well decide between white and red.

****

LORELAI: White, please.

****

EMILY: Very well. [_She pours the drinks_] How is school, Rory?

****

RORY: It's good. It's busy. I've got the SAT's coming up.

****

EMILY: Are you nervous?

****

RORY: Oh, well, a little. But I studied.

****

EMILY: You'll do well. [_Pause_] And your…boyfriend?

****

RORY: He's fine.

****

EMILY: He hasn't crashed any cars lately I take it?

****

LORELAI: Mom.

****

RORY: Nope, all the cars in Stars Hollow are intact.

****

EMILY: And his cigarette addiction?

****

LORELAI: Mom, stop it.

****

EMILY: I'm just trying to gather information about the boy my granddaughter has chosen to spend her time with, Lorelai.

****

LORELAI: No, you're not. You're badgering her.

****

EMILY: I am not.

****

LORELAI: Oh, yes, you are. Quit.

****

RORY: He's studying for the SAT, too.

****

EMILY: [_Sarcastically_] That's very redeeming.

****

LORELAI: Stop it right now, Mom.

****

EMILY: I'm merely asking the questions you should have asked, Lorelai.

****

LORELAI: I asked questions, Mother.

****

EMILY: Like what?

****

LORELAI: I asked, okay, Mom? Do you honestly think that I would let Rory run around with some boy who—

****

RICHARD: [_off-screen_] Hello!

****

EMILY: [_Surprised_] Richard! You're home early.

****

RICHARD: The deal went faster than I anticipated. Hello, Rory.

****

RORY: Hi, Grandpa.

****

RICHARD: Lorelai.

****

LORELAI: Dad.

****

RICHARD: How is everyone?

****

LORELAI: Can't you see my skin just glowing?

****

RORY: We're fine. How are you, Grandpa?

****

RICHARD: I'm doing fine, Rory, thank you.

****

EMILY: I should go tell Marcella that dinner should be served now. [_Exits_]

****

RICHARD: How is school, Rory?

****

RORY: It's good. I was telling Grandma that I'm preparing for the SAT's.

****

RICHARD: You're studying well, I hope.

****

RORY: Oh, yes.

****

RICHARD: Good. I'm sure Dean Whitley will be impressed with your scores.

****

RORY: I hope so.

****

RICHARD: How is the inn, Lorelai?

****

LORELAI: It's fine. We almost went under last week, but then we fixed the leak.

****

RICHARD: That is a joke, I presume.

****

LORELAI: Nothing I ever say is taken seriously, anyway.

****

RORY: [_Shoots LORELAI a look_] So, Grandpa, your business is doing well too.

****

RICHARD: Yes, yes, quite well. I should have you come by someday and see it in action.

****

RORY: That'd be fun.

****

RICHARD: It's a deal.

****

EMILY: [_Walking into living room_] Dinner's ready.

****

RICHARD: Wonderful. Shall we? [_He offers his arm to EMILY and she takes it. RORY falls back to walk by LORELAI_]

****

RORY: What are you doing?

****

LORELAI: What?

****

RORY: All those sarcastic remarks?

****

LORELAI: I'm just in a bad mood.

****

RORY: You weren't five minutes ago.

****

LORELAI: Oh, shocking.

****

RORY: Look, you're making it difficult.

****

LORELAI: _They're_ making it difficult.

****

RORY: Please, refrain.

****

LORELAI: [_Sighs_] I'll try.

[_In dining room_]

****

EMILY: Roast tonight.

****

LORELAI: I know how it feels.

****

RORY: [_Shoots LORELAI a dirty look_] That sounds delicious, Grandma.

****

EMILY: Yes. Sarah—or Sally?—she's a wonderful cook.

****

LORELAI: She's a household name.

****

RICHARD: This is fantastic roast, Emily!

****

EMILY: Isn't it?

****

RORY: It's great.

****

RICHARD: How is Jess, Rory?

****

RORY: [_Cautiously_] He's fine.

****

RICHARD: And you two are…still together?

****

RORY: Yes.

****

RICHARD: Hmm. [_Long pause_] I should like to meet this boy.

****

RORY: [_Surprised_] You…want to meet him?

****

RICHARD: He is spending a great deal of time with my granddaughter.

****

RORY: Oh, yes, but I thought you didn't…

****

RICHARD: Perhaps I was a bit harsh. [_LORELAI_ _snorts. RICHARD shoots her a dirty look_] I suppose it was a bit narrow-minded.

****

RORY: Okay…

****

RICHARD: When are you two free?

****

LORELAI: Dad…

****

RICHARD: This is between Rory and I.

****

RORY: We're free a lot. Um, Jess studies after school, but Luke will let him off at the diner most days.

****

RICHARD: Good. How about you two come to the country club this weekend?

****

RORY: Oh, well…

****

LORELAI: Dad, I don't think Jess is really the country club type.

****

RORY: Not that he wouldn't do it, but…I don't think he's really suited to that environment.

****

RICHARD: I see. Well, I haven't been to Stars Hollow in some time.

****

LORELAI: You're coming all the way to Stars Hollow to meet Jess?

****

RICHARD: I would like to meet the boy who is consorting with my granddaughter.

****

LORELAI: "Consorting"? You make it sound like a—

****

RORY: That sounds good, Grandpa. What do you want to do?

****

RICHARD: We could…have a bite to eat.

****

RORY: Okay.

****

RICHARD: And…well, what do you and he usually do?

****

RORY: Oh. Nothing exciting. Studying, lately. Browse the bookstore.

****

RICHARD: He reads?

****

RORY: Avidly. He's read more than I have.

****

RICHARD: Well. How does next Saturday sound?

****

LORELAI: I'm busy.

****

RICHARD: I didn't ask you, Lorelai. 

****

RORY: Sounds good. I'll ask Jess and call you.

****

RICHARD: Lovely. My, this is good roast.

****

EMILY: Sarah! Bring Mr. Gilmore some more roast!

[_Cut to RORY and LORELAI driving home in the Jeep_]

****

LORELAI: Do you think this is wise?

****

RORY: Having Grandpa meet Jess?

****

LORELAI: Yeah.

****

RORY: It'll make Grandpa happy.

****

LORELAI: But Jess is not known for stellar first impressions. Or second impressions. Or impressions in general, for that matter.

****

RORY: I'll have time to prepare him. He can behave for a few hours.

****

LORELAI: If it lasts that long.

****

RORY: Thanks for the encouragement.

****

LORELAI: I just don't want you and him to end up having a thing over this.

****

RORY: Yeah, right.

****

LORELAI: What?

****

RORY: You just don't want Grandpa to like him.

****

LORELAI: What?

****

RORY: You don't want Grandpa to like Jess.

****

LORELAI: And why wouldn't I?

****

RORY: Because…that'll be one thing that we have between us that Grandpa and I don't have.

****

LORELAI: That is so far off base, I can't even see the foul line.

****

RORY: It's true.

****

LORELAI: Well, if he does like him, it'll be under false pretenses.

****

RORY: Because Jess is just that unlikable.

****

LORELAI: To everyone but you? Yes.

****

RORY: Look, let's just not argue about this anymore. Grandpa is meeting Jess.

****

LORELAI: I never thought I'd hear that.

****

RORY: Gotta stop thinking in terms of "never."

****

LORELAI: Speaking of never…you haven't heard from Dad, have you?

****

RORY: [_Guiltily_] There may have been an e-mail.

****

LORELAI: Oh.

****

RORY: Why?

****

LORELAI: Just…wondered.

****

RORY: Are you mad?

****

LORELAI: No. He's just…made no effort to contact me.

****

RORY: Well, you did throw him out of the house, Mom.

****

LORELAI: I know.

****

RORY: So, you shouldn't be surprised when he isn't jumping to talk to you.

****

LORELAI: I get it.

****

RORY: Good.

****

LORELAI: Did he say anything about Sherry?

****

RORY: It was a short e-mail. He just gave me his new phone number and address.

****

LORELAI: That's it?

****

RORY: Just a hello.

****

LORELAI: I see.

****

RORY: Okay. Oh, hey?

****

LORELAI: Yeah?

****

RORY: Can you let me off at the diner?

****

LORELAI: Oh…I guess.

****

RORY: Unless you don't want to.

****

LORELAI: No, that's fine.

****

RORY: Good. I need to tell Jess about Grandpa.

****

LORELAI: He has to find a nice part of his personality?

****

RORY: Can't you at least pretend to not hate him, just for my sake?

****

LORELAI: I could.

****

RORY: It'll burn calories.

****

LORELAI: Hmm. Well, I'll give it a try for a while. Beats Tae-Bo.

****

RORY: Good.

[_LORELAI lets RORY off at the diner and watches her as she goes in. She sits there for a moment, then drives off_]

[_Cut to RORY climbing the stairs to the apartment_]

****

RORY: [_Knocks on the door_] Jess?

****

JESS: It's open.

****

RORY: [_Goes inside_] Hey.

****

JESS: Hey.

****

RORY: [_Gestures toward the books on the table_] Still studying?

****

JESS: I took a break.

****

RORY: How long of a break?

****

JESS: Enough to finish The While Album.

****

RORY: So, basically, you just cracked the book three seconds ago?

****

JESS: Pretty much.

****

RORY: Well, at least you were doing something intellectual. [_She walks toward him; he stands. They kiss_] I have something to tell you.

****

JESS: Studying is overrated? [_He kisses her again_]

****

RORY: No.

****

JESS: Sounds serious. [_They kiss again and walk towards the couch. They sit down, and JESS cups RORY'S face in his hands_]

****

RORY: It is.

****

JESS: How serious?

****

RORY: Grandparents serious.

****

JESS: Another fight?

****

RORY: No.

****

JESS: They caught wind of yet another bad quality of mine?

****

RORY: I told you to stop that.

****

JESS: Oh, yeah. It got pushed out with all that SAT information.

****

RORY: Ha!

****

JESS: That takes up a lot of space.

****

RORY: [_Nervous_] My grandpa wants to meet you.

****

JESS: Huh.

****

RORY: That's all you have to say? "Huh"?

****

JESS: What did you want me to say?

****

RORY: "Kevorkian, please. Can I meet Hitler now? Uh, hey, I heard Chinese water torture is fun."

****

JESS: How about… "Stalin is my savior"?

****

RORY: Good enough.

****

JESS: So…it's the end of the world?

****

RORY: No…maybe.

****

JESS: Do I have to dress up?

****

RORY: No. He's coming here.

****

JESS: Oh.

****

RORY: To Luke's. We're going to have a "bite to eat."

****

JESS: It doesn't sound that bad.

****

RORY: You left out the key word.

****

JESS: Which is?

****

RORY: "Yet."

****

JESS: Okay, okay. So your grandfather wants to meet me—

****

RORY: The boy who is—and I quote—"consorting" with his granddaughter.

****

JESS: [_Laughs_] "Consorting"? That sounds dirty.

****

RORY: [_Blushes_] He didn't mean it like that.

****

JESS: I know, I know. So we meet, we eat…and…?

****

RORY: We might browse through the bookstore. My grandpa loves to read.

****

JESS: So far, this is sounding less torturous than an afternoon with Lorelai.

****

RORY: My grandfather is very…protective of me.

****

JESS: [_Rolls his eyes_] Who isn't?

****

RORY: Really, really protective. He didn't like Dean.

****

JESS: Yeah, you said that.

****

RORY: And…so…

****

JESS: And Dean is much nicer than me, yadda, yadda, yadda.

****

RORY: I didn't mean that.

****

JESS: Rory.

****

RORY: Okay. But it's true. I just…I really need you to be nice. And un-sarcastic, just for a couple hours. Please?

****

JESS: I think I can manage.

****

RORY: This means a lot to me, Jess.

****

JESS: I know.

****

RORY: I mean, I'll like you, regardless of my grandpa. But it would just…it would make things easier if you—

****

JESS: I got it, okay? I'll be nice. Now… [_He leans in, and almost makes it to RORY'S lips before she pulls away_]

****

RORY: And if he asks you about the future?

****

JESS: [_Groans_] I'll just make something up, okay?

****

RORY: Thank you. [_JESS starts to lean in again_] Something that involves college?

****

JESS: Rory, quit worrying. I will pacify your grandfather.

****

RORY: Okay.

****

JESS: Okay. [_He leans in and successfully kisses her. They shift closer on the couch and continue making out_]

[_Cut downstairs to Luke's. The phone rings. LUKE picks it up_]

****

LUKE: Luke's.

****

LIZ: Hi, Luke.

****

LUKE: Liz.

****

LIZ: Is Jess there?

****

LUKE: I think so.

****

LIZ: Can I talk to him?

****

LUKE: Not right now, Liz.

****

LIZ: Why?

****

LUKE: He's busy.

****

LIZ: So busy he can't talk to his own mother?

****

LUKE: He and Rory are upstairs.

****

LIZ: Rory?

****

LUKE: His girlfriend, Liz, remember? I told you about her before.

****

LIZ: [_Uncertainly_] Oh…yeah.

****

LUKE: You don't remember anything.

****

LIZ: Refresh me.

****

LUKE: Rory…straight-A student…nice girl, reads a lot…

****

LIZ: Right, right.

****

LUKE: Look, Liz, do you have a message for him?

****

LIZ: What are he and Rory doing?

****

LUKE: I don't know. Probably studying.

****

LIZ: [_Snorts_] They're not studying.

****

LUKE: Is there a message?

****

LIZ: Luke, they are not studying.

****

LUKE: It's none of your business, Liz.

****

LIZ: Just tell him to call me, okay?

****

LUKE: I'll give him the message.

****

LIZ: Sure.

****

LUKE: Look, Liz, all I can do is give it to him. I can't force him to call you.

****

LIZ: Fine. Thanks.

****

LUKE: Yeah. [_Hangs up_]

[_Cut to upstairs. "I'll Be Your Baby Tonight" by Norah Jones plays. RORY and JESS are still making out on the couch. RORY breaks apart and rests her head against JESS' forehead_]

****

RORY: Jess?

****

JESS: Yes?

****

RORY: Thanks.

****

JESS: Sure.

****

RORY: No, really. It means a lot to me.

****

JESS: I know.

[_RORY leans in and kisses him. JESS wraps an arm around her back and pulls her close again. They continue kissing as we fade to commercial_]

[_Second commercial break_]

[_Open to LORELAI at the inn. The phone rings_]

****

LORELAI: Hello, Independence Inn.

****

EMILY: Lorelai, good.

****

LORELAI: Uh-oh.

****

EMILY: "Uh-oh"? What's "uh-oh" for? I am being perfectly civil.

****

LORELAI: Nothing, Mom. What's up?

****

EMILY: Well, I was talking with Jorina Kent at my DAR meeting last night, and we got onto the topic of our children.

****

LORELAI: Out of a wealth of topics to talk about…this.

****

EMILY: And Jorina said that her son Grayer was single, and I said that was very convenient, since you were single now that Christopher is out of the picture.

****

LORELAI: Mother, you didn't.

****

EMILY: I thought it was a nice gesture.

****

LORELAI: A nice gesture…to someone who wants and/or need a date.

****

EMILY: It's one simple evening, Lorelai.

****

LORELAI: No, it's not, Mom. It's one "simple" evening that will turn into a series of arguments between us.

****

EMILY: It all does anyway, Lorelai.

****

LORELAI: Mom, please, just cancel the date. I don't want one.

****

EMILY: I thought it would help you get over Christopher.

****

LORELAI: I'm over Christopher.

****

EMILY: You are not.

****

LORELAI: Oh, I'm not?

****

EMILY: No.

****

LORELAI: And this is based on…

****

EMILY: Why haven't you mentioned other men?

****

LORELAI: What other men?

****

EMILY: Ah-ha.

****

LORELAI: I don't think that calls for an "ah-ha," Mom.

****

EMILY: There are always other men, Lorelai.

****

LORELAI: There are not always other men, Mother.

****

EMILY: You're always seeing someone.

****

LORELAI: I am not! Look, it doesn't matter. I'm not going on a date with Grayer Kent.

****

EMILY: It's one night, Lorelai. How bad could it possibly be?

****

LORELAI: Have you ever been on a blind date, Mom?

****

EMILY: Of course not. A society woman would never dream of it.

****

LORELAI: Then you have no idea.

****

EMILY: Enlighten me.

****

LORELAI: He'll pick me up, twenty minutes late, because he can't find my house. Then there's the greeting period in which we size each other up for abnormal physical characteristics—exceptional height, deformed nose, ears that originally belonged to Dumbo—and say the other's name about fifteen times. The car ride to the restaurant is always chockfull of fun. It consists of many generic, open-ended questions that have been asked on every blind date and responded to with the same lack of enthusiasm. After giving the required responses, we'll arrive at the restaurant where we'll awkwardly sit in silence, pretending to look at the menus, since we've exhausted our talking for the evening. We'll eat the meal in silence, acting as though we're terribly engrossed in what we're eating. Then, of course, the ride home, even more painful than the ride there, since all the requisite questions have already been asked. In the end, you have an entirely wasted three hours.

****

EMILY: [_Pauses_] It can't be so terrible.

****

LORELAI: Do you just pretend I'm Musak?

****

EMILY: Lorelai, I am asking you a simple favor. Go out with Jorina Kent's son, just once. Who knows? Perhaps you'll actually—God forbid—like the man.

****

LORELAI: It's doubtful, and I don't need you to set me up. Do you remember Chase Bradford?

****

EMILY: Yes, and he is now engaged to a lovely young woman from Vermont.

****

LORELAI: I hope the lovely young woman is prepared for a life of complete and utter boredom.

****

EMILY: I'm not asking you to marry the man, Lorelai, just one date.

****

LORELAI: [_Sighs_] You won't let it go, will you?

****

EMILY: He's a nice man.

****

LORELAI: [_Smiles bitterly_] Fine, Mother.

****

EMILY: Wonderful. He'll pick you up tomorrow at seven.

****

LORELAI: So Grayer's big on notice, then, huh?

****

EMILY: I'll look forward to hearing about it.

****

LORELAI: Great. Bye, Mom.

****

EMILY: Goodbye, Lorelai.

[_LORELAI hangs up. MICHEL approaches_]

****

LORELAI: You say anything, I'll stuff you under the counter.

****

MICHEL: Ah, what is there to say? Little more can be added to the humiliation.

****

LORELAI: Thank you. Bye now.

****

MICHEL: What, so soon? Are you rehearsing for your date?

****

LORELAI: Michel, now.

****

MICHEL: How many times have you been a bridesmaid?

[_LORELAI glares at MICHEL, grabs her purse from under the desk and stalks out of the inn_]

[_Cut to LORELAI entering Luke's_]

****

LUKE: It's two-thirty.

****

LORELAI: Thanks for the update.

****

LUKE: Just making sure. What can I get you?

****

LORELAI: A coffee. With some arsenic.

****

LUKE: Comin' right up. [_LUKE pours the coffee_] Somethin' wrong?

****

LORELAI: No. Why? 

****

LUKE: [_Shrugs_] You just look kinda down.

****

LORELAI: Luke, what are the criteria for the most pathetic person in the world?

****

LUKE: Well, I'd say that coming into a diner six times a day for coffee would definitely put you at the front of the race. Why?

****

LORELAI: I think we might have a winner.

****

LUKE: Kirk?

****

LORELAI: My mother set me up.

****

LUKE: Your mother set you up?

****

LORELAI: His name's Grayer. That's gotta tip you off right away.

****

LUKE: [_Deadpan_] Sounds awful.

****

LORELAI: She thinks I need a man to get over Chris. [_Laughs humorlessly_] I need a bridge to get over Chris.

****

LUKE: Well, she's tryin' to help.

****

LORELAI: She shouldn't! She never has before. I'm okay.

****

LUKE: I think you might get a few different opinions on that.

****

LORELAI: I'm so pathetic.

****

LUKE: Hence the title, "Most Pathetic Person in the World"?

****

LORELAI: My _mother_, setting me up on a blind date. My _mother_, trying to help me get over a man. [_Sips her coffee_] I'm just so—

****

LUKE: Pathetic, I heard. [_Pause_] Don't get too down on yourself.

****

LORELAI: What?

****

LUKE: It's not a big deal.

****

LORELAI: Well, obviously, I'm sending some sort of beacon for help if my mother thinks that I need help. She's never cared before.

****

LUKE: Just quit worrying about it.

****

LORELAI: Even Michel has the upper hand.

****

LUKE: I wouldn't worry until Kirk gets the upper hand.

****

LORELAI: [_Chuckles_] Thanks. [_Finishes her coffee_]

****

LUKE: Anytime.

****

LORELAI: Here. [_Digs in her purse_]

****

LUKE: On the house. We do it for Guinness winners.

****

LORELAI: Thanks.

[_LORELAI leaves the diner. As she's leaving, JESS comes in. They stare at each other for a moment_]

****

JESS: Lorelai.

****

LORELAI: Jess. How are you?

****

JESS: Good.

****

LORELAI: School?

****

JESS: Okay.

****

LORELAI: I hear you're meeting my dad.

****

JESS: That's the rumor.

****

LORELAI: Well, good luck. You'll need it.

****

JESS: Thanks. [_They stare at each other for a little, then JESS goes upstairs. LORELAI leaves the diner_]

[_Cut to Gilmore house. LORELAI walks in the door_]

****

LORELAI: Rory!

****

RORY: Kitchen!

****

LORELAI: Oh, thank God. Sanity.

****

RORY: You found yours again?

****

LORELAI: You're my sanity. And you're here.

****

RORY: Okay…someone's had a bad day.

****

LORELAI: Ugh. [_Sits down at table_] It was beyond bad.

****

RORY: So, what happened?

****

LORELAI: My mother.

****

RORY: Grandma happened?

****

LORELAI: Yes. 

****

RORY: Okay…

****

LORELAI: She set me up.

****

RORY: As in, a date?

****

LORELAI: Oh, yes.

****

RORY: _Why_?

****

LORELAI: Because I evidently need a man to get over Christopher.

****

RORY: Oh.

****

LORELAI: His name is Grayer.

****

RORY: Ouch. That's not good.

****

LORELAI: I know! When just his name makes you want to gag, you know it's bad.

****

RORY: Maybe you'll like him.

****

LORELAI: What? You're siding with my mother?

****

RORY: I'm not siding. I'm just offering some encouragement.

****

LORELAI: That's not encouragement.

****

RORY: Maybe he'll be nice.

****

LORELAI: Grayer.

****

RORY: That's his parents' fault, not his.

****

LORELAI: I can't believe it.

****

RORY: What?

****

LORELAI: _Luke_ had more sympathy for me.

****

RORY: I have sympathy! I just don't see the point in getting down on the guy before you even see him.

****

LORELAI: Grayer! Who names their kid Grayer? His parents are insane. He must be insane by extension.

****

RORY: You're nothing like Grandma and Grandpa.

****

LORELAI: It warms my heart to hear you say that.

****

RORY: I know.

****

LORELAI: Otherwise I might actually enjoy this date.

****

RORY: Forget it. Be miserable.

****

LORELAI: I will.

****

RORY: Fine.

****

LORELAI: So…how did Jess take the Grandpa news?

****

RORY: He seemed calm.

****

LORELAI: And he's actually going to…try…to be polite?

****

RORY: Mom.

****

LORELAI: Well…

****

RORY: Yes, he's _going_ to be polite.

****

LORELAI: Just making sure.

****

RORY: You're assured.

****

LORELAI: Good. [_Pause_] Wanna know something funny?

****

RORY: I think so.

****

LORELAI: There are people named Grayer!

****

RORY: Mom!

****

LORELAI: That name is hilarious.

****

RORY: You're being completely irrational.

****

LORELAI: So?

****

RORY: So it's mean.

****

LORELAI: Since when have I cared about mean?

****

RORY: Oh, you're right, never.

****

LORELAI: Exactly. [_Stands_] Chinese?

****

RORY: Sounds good. I have to run to the store before they close. There's a shortage of staples in this house.

****

LORELAI: I warned you of that long ago. Do you not retain information?

****

RORY: It got pushed out in light of the SAT information.

****

LORELAI: You have no priorities, missy.

****

RORY: I know, I know. [_She gets up and LORELAI follows her into her room, flopping down on the bed_] Don't forget about the Chinese.

****

LORELAI: I won't.

****

RORY: Okay. I'll be back soon.

****

LORELAI: Mmm-kay. [_Puts her hands over her eyes_]

****

RORY: Do you want me to pick some Luke's up?

****

LORELAI: [_Lifts her hands and squints at RORY_] You're just looking for an excuse to see Jess.

****

RORY: Halfway. Plus, I think you're going to conk out and not order food and I'm hungry.

****

LORELAI: [_Replaces her hands over her eyes_] Luke's sounds good.

****

RORY: Okay.

****

LORELAI: Rory?

****

RORY: What?

****

LORELAI: Get some pie.

****

RORY: Sure. 

[_RORY leaves. LORELAI lays on the bed for a moment, then groans and gets up. As she passes the dresser, something catches her attention. She picks up a piece of paper. As the camera zooms in, we see that it's CHRISTOPHER'S e-mail. LORELAI reads it sadly, then sets it back down_]

[_Cut to RORY swinging a small bag and walking towards Luke's. She enters_]

****

RORY: [_to JESS, who's behind the counter_] Hey.

****

JESS: Hey.

****

RORY: We need food.

****

JESS: You and your bag?

****

RORY: Yup.

****

JESS: Okay. What does your bag like?

****

RORY: Cheeseburger, fries, three cups of coffee, onion rings, and apple pie.

****

JESS: Okay. Two cheeseburgers, two fries, six cups of coffee, two onion rings, and two pieces of pie.

****

RORY: One piece of pie.

****

JESS: Guess my math is off.

****

RORY: Guess so.

****

JESS: Can you and your bag handle it or will you need help?

****

RORY: The bag can't pull its own weight. We'll need help.

****

JESS: In that case, I better call Caesar.

****

RORY: You better.

****

JESS: I'll be right back.

[_JESS disappears into the back. RORY looks out the window; LANE and her mother walk by. LANE'S head is down while her mother looks around, scowling. RORY frowns_]

****

JESS: [_Coming back_] Twenty minutes…something wrong?

****

RORY: No.

****

JESS: Rory.

****

RORY: Lane looks sad.

****

JESS: Oh.

****

RORY: [_Sighs_] I miss her. [_Pause_] I haven't seen her since she told her mother. 

****

JESS: Still grounded?

****

RORY: Lane will be grounded until she's sixty.

****

JESS: If it makes you feel better, that's not legally possible.

****

RORY: Have you met Mrs. Kim?

****

JESS: Point taken.

****

RORY: [_Brightly, fakely_] Guess what?

****

JESS: What?

****

RORY: It's almost time for the Winter Festival.

****

JESS: [_Deadpan_] Yippie.

****

RORY: You missed the good stuff last year.

****

JESS: That whole dinner wasn't "the good stuff"?

****

RORY: That wasn't part of the Winter Festival.

****

JESS: Oh, God.

****

RORY: Miss Patty's students always have little snowflake outfits.

****

JESS: Miss Patty doesn't…

****

RORY: Oh, yeah.

****

JESS: I feel sick.

****

RORY: There's the tree-lighting ceremony.

****

JESS: Can there be a light-Taylor-on-fire ceremony?

****

RORY: Then, of course, there's the caroling.

****

JESS: Oh, great.

****

RORY: You could be a caroler if you signed up.

****

JESS: I'll high tail it down there.

****

RORY: I hope it snows.

****

JESS: I hope it snows enough to cancel it.

****

RORY: You're so bah-humbug.

****

JESS: You sound surprised.

****

RORY: Come on…you know you want to go.

****

JESS: Right.

****

RORY: Anyway, since Lane is MIA, you're coming with me.

****

JESS: What?

****

RORY: Yup.

****

JESS: Can you go back to being sad about Lane?

****

RORY: It'll be really fun.

****

JESS: I bet.

[_RORY and JESS continue to banter. LANE and her mother walk past again. LANE looks at the two enviously_]

[_Cut to RORY and LORELAI in the living room. LORELAI is dressed up, sitting on the couch. RORY sits in the chair across from her_]

****

RORY: Well, this date sets a record.

****

LORELAI: Oh? Most forced set-up?

****

RORY: It's the first date you've ever been early for.

****

LORELAI: I'm not early.

****

RORY: Let's see…you're dressed. Your hair is satisfactory. Your jewelry is arranged. Your purse is sitting right beside you. You're not frantically running around your room looking for a lost shoe or earring or talking in possessed voices. You're ready, and you're ready early.

****

LORELAI: I just want to get it over with.

****

RORY: So you got ready early.

****

LORELAI: Precisely, Holmes.

****

RORY: Elementary, my dear Watson. 

****

LORELAI: What time is it?

****

RORY: Six fifty-five.

****

LORELAI: Oh.

****

RORY: Worried he'll be late?

****

LORELAI: No.

****

RORY: Ha!

****

LORELAI: Rory, come on.

****

RORY: Just keep an open mind, Mom.

****

LORELAI: I am, I am.

****

RORY: You are not. You're envisioning what to order for dessert.

****

LORELAI: Then I'm not ragging on him, am I?

****

RORY: Just until the dessert thing passes. Then you'll be back to thinking about his name.

****

LORELAI: You seem awfully defensive of this guy. Have you met him?

****

RORY: No, of course not.

****

LORELAI: Then why are pushing him?

****

RORY: I just want you to be happy.

****

LORELAI: I know that and I appreciate that.

****

RORY: So if this guy is _the_ guy—

****

LORELAI: Which he won't be.

****

RORY: --Then I don't want you to have missed out because you were too busy criticizing his name.

****

LORELAI: My mind is perfectly open, okay?

****

RORY: If you say so.

[_Doorbell_]

****

LORELAI: Here goes nothing. I have my cell.

****

RORY: Call me from the bathroom if you need a save.

****

LORELAI: I love you. [_Opens the door_] Hello.

****

GRAYER: You must be Lorelai.

****

LORELAI: Oh, nope, I'm Maria.

****

GRAYER: [_Playing along_] Well, Maria, I was hoping you'd be Lorelai. There's no way she could be as beautiful as you.

****

LORELAI: [_Laughs_] Okay, okay, I surrender. I'm Lorelai.

****

GRAYER: Hi, Lorelai. I'm Grayer.

****

LORELAI: My excellent deductive skills pointed me to that conclusion.

****

GRAYER: And my excellent deductive skills tell me that's Rory.

****

RORY: That's me.

****

GRAYER: You look just like your mother.

****

LORELAI: We were separated at birth.

****

RORY: Don't go getting gross.

****

LORELAI: Rory! I wouldn't dream of it. Okay, call me if you have trouble, there's money, call Jess only if absolutely necessary.

****

RORY: Bye.

****

LORELAI: Bye, babe.

[_LORELAI and GRAYER leave. RORY walks over to the window and watches as GRAYER opens the car door for LORELAI. RORY smiles and then walks over to the phone_]

****

RORY: [_on phone_] Luke? Is Jess there? …Thanks. …Jess? …Only if you bring food. …We're big on repetition. …The bag, duh. …Okay. …Bye. [_RORY hangs up and smiles to herself_]

[_Cut to LORELAI and GRAYER_]

****

GRAYER: My parents weren't too happy.

****

LORELAI: Don't I know that feeling.

****

GRAYER: Rory seems like a great kid.

****

LORELAI: She is. She's wonderful.

****

GRAYER: You got lucky.

****

LORELAI: Yeah. I did.

****

GRAYER: Emily tells me she goes to Chilton.

****

LORELAI: Everyday. I can't get her to stay away from the place.

****

GRAYER: She's a groupie, huh?

****

LORELAI: Chilton and Harvard. Sometimes I don't think she's mine.

****

GRAYER: That's great. I can't offer her much advice about Harvard. I went to Princeton.

****

LORELAI: I went to state.

****

GRAYER: But you went.

****

LORELAI: I did at that.

****

GRAYER: Degree in one-liners?

****

LORELAI: Oh, that was my minor. Business, actually.

****

GRAYER: Business?

****

LORELAI: I run an inn…didn't my mother tell you?

****

GRAYER: Ah, well, I should probably come clean now. I wasn't really listening when my mother was telling me all of your numerous merits. To tell you the truth, I was expecting a boring socialite.

****

LORELAI: [_Stunned_] Me too.

****

GRAYER: Thank God.

****

LORELAI: I thought this would be the biggest waste of two hours ever, actually.

****

GRAYER: [_Laughs_] Me too. One too many set-ups?

****

LORELAI: More like a lack of trust in my mother's judgment.

****

GRAYER: Ah.

****

LORELAI: What do you do, Grayer?

****

GRAYER: It's pretty boring. I'm an investment consultant.

****

LORELAI: Sounds official.

****

GRAYER: Looks official.

****

LORELAI: Feels official?

****

GRAYER: Feels like guesswork.

****

LORELAI: Sounds cool.

****

GRAYER: So you run an inn?

****

LORELAI: Yeah, yeah. I'm the manager of the Independence Inn.

****

GRAYER: That inn with that delicious risotto.

****

LORELAI: If my chef had heard that, she would be worshipping you right now.

****

GRAYER: [_Chuckles_] You run that whole place?

****

LORELAI: The whole big, scary, loopy, dizzy mess.

****

GRAYER: Sounds fun.

****

LORELAI: Looks fun.

****

GRAYER: Feels fun?

****

LORELAI: Most days, yeah.

[_Waiter comes over_]

****

WAITER: What can I get you tonight?

****

GRAYER: Well, I'd like a coffee to start out with. How strong is your coffee?

****

WAITER: Fairly strong, sir.

****

GRAYER: I need battery-acid strong. [_LORELAI smiles_]

****

WAITER: Certainly, sir. And you, Miss?

****

LORELAI: Same. Only I need battery-acid with some anti-freeze thrown in strong.

****

WAITER: Coming right up.

****

GRAYER: You're a coffee drinker?

****

LORELAI: You have no idea.

[_GRAYER laughs. The camera pulls away as they continue talking amiably. Fade to commercial_]

[_Third commercial break_]

[_Open to LORELAI coming into her house. The strummy la-la's are playing. She's smiling. She walks into the living room and finds RORY and JESS asleep on the couch with the TV on. LORELAI'S smiles fades a bit, but she puts a blanket over them and keeps going_]

[_Cut to the next morning. LORELAI is standing over RORY and JESS in her pajamas_]

****

LORELAI: [_Sing-songy_] Oh sleepyheads! Wake up!

****

RORY: [_Mumbling_] Mom.

****

LORELAI: Bingo! Up, up! School!

****

RORY: [_Slowly waking up_] Oh my God. Mom. It was innocent.

****

LORELAI: Duh. Now get up or you'll be late. I'll drive you.

****

RORY: Jess. [_Shakes him gently_] Jess.

****

JESS: Rory?

****

RORY: We have to get up.

****

JESS: [_Slowly sits up, rubbing his eyes_] What time's it—Lorelai.

****

LORELAI: Good morning, sunshine.

****

JESS: We just—

****

LORELAI: Save it. I saw it all. Calm down.

****

JESS: I didn't—

****

LORELAI: It's _o_kay. You're going to be late for school.

****

JESS: Okay. [_Pause_] Thanks.

****

LORELAI: I'd say "anytime," but then I'd be lying.

****

JESS: Right. [_Kisses RORY_] I'll see you later.

****

RORY: Bye. [_JESS gets up and hastily leaves_] Mom, I swear—

****

LORELAI: I know, I know. You fell asleep watching TV?

****

RORY: Something like that.

****

LORELAI: It's okay.

****

RORY: So…your date must have gone well.

****

LORELAI: Why would you say that?

****

RORY: Because I was asleep when you came in.

****

LORELAI: Point?

****

RORY: So you must have spent a good amount of time with him, indicating that you liked him enough not to insist that he drive you home two seconds after he paid the bill.

****

LORELAI: Fine, fine. It was good.

****

RORY: Good or _good_?

****

LORELAI: _Good_.

****

RORY: See? I told you not to judge him based on his name.

****

LORELAI: Yes, yes, you were right, perfect angel mine.

****

RORY: It comes with the halo.

****

LORELAI: You know what doesn't though?

****

RORY: What?

****

LORELAI: A molecular transport device.

****

RORY: Which would be important…when?

****

LORELAI: Now. When you're going to be late to school.

****

RORY: Ah! [_She jumps off the couch and runs toward her bedroom. LORELAI smiles after her, then goes happily up the stairs_]

[_Cut to RORY and LORELAI standing on EMILY and RICHARD'S stoop_]

****

RORY: Are you going to come clean?

****

LORELAI: If they hand me a bar of soap.

****

RORY: About your date. Are you going to admit it was fun?

****

LORELAI: Mmm…I don't know. It depends on how smug my mother looks.

****

RORY: You always think she looks smug.

****

LORELAI: There are varying degrees.

****

RORY: That's a no.

****

LORELAI: Not necessarily.

****

RORY: It's a no. So what are you going to say?

****

LORELAI: I don't know.

****

RORY: Good plan.

****

LORELAI: I'm known around the world for my planning.

****

RORY: Are you planning on ringing the bell?

****

LORELAI: Mmm…I don't know.

****

RORY: I'll ring it.

****

LORELAI: You didn't plan on ringing it, though.

****

RORY: Nope.

****

LORELAI: How can you stand to be so happy-go-lucky?

****

RORY: Well, I clearly didn't get it from you.

[_EMILY opens the door_]

****

LORELAI: Mom!

****

EMILY: You sound shocked to see me. Who else did you think would open the door?

****

LORELAI: We didn't ring the bell.

****

EMILY: It's seven-oh-three. I thought I heard you out here.

****

LORELAI: "Thought"? What if it had been someone else?

****

EMILY: It was highly unlikely.

****

LORELAI: But you took that chance.

****

EMILY: Yes, I suppose I did.

****

LORELAI: So if it had been the Girl Scouts selling cookies, you would have…

****

EMILY: Are you going to come in, or are we going to spend our entire evening debating about my door-opening procedure?

****

LORELAI: Do you have Girl Scouts cookies?

****

EMILY: [_Opens door wider_] We'll have to see if they stop by later.

****

RORY: Hi, Grandma. [_Steps inside. LORELAI follows_]

****

EMILY: Hello, Rory. How are you?

****

RORY: I'm good.

****

EMILY: And you, Lorelai?

****

LORELAI: I'm good, Mom.

****

EMILY: Good as a result of your date?

****

LORELAI: [_Looks at her watch_] It's a record.

****

EMILY: What is a record?

****

LORELAI: It took you less than one minute to start grilling me.

****

EMILY: I'm hardly grilling you.

****

LORELAI: If I looked at my back, I'd probably have big black grill marks.

****

EMILY: So?

****

LORELAI: The date was fine, Mom.

****

EMILY: "Fine." Such high praise.

****

LORELAI: Drop it, Mom.

****

EMILY: If you don't want to talk about it, it must have been good.

****

LORELAI: Not necessarily.

****

EMILY: You don't want to admit that you enjoyed yourself.

****

LORELAI: Let it go, Mother.

****

EMILY: Rory, did your mother enjoy the date?

[_LORELAI glares at RORY_]

****

RORY: Oh, well…[_RORY glances at LORELAI_] I guess. I don't really know.

****

EMILY: [_Smugly_] You did.

****

LORELAI: What's for dinner tonight? I didn't see my head on the menu.

****

EMILY: I'm hardly beheading you, Lorelai. I'm just asking how your date went.

****

LORELAI: No, Mother, you're smugly interrogating me.

****

EMILY: Lorelai, I am merely—

****

RICHARD: Emily! Are the girls here?

****

EMILY: I forgot to get your father. [_To RICHARD_] Yes, Richard, they're here!

****

RICHARD: [_Entering room_] Why didn't you come and get me?

****

EMILY: I'm sorry, Richard, Lorelai and I were—

****

LORELAI: Arguing.

****

EMILY: Conversing.

****

RICHARD: Ah. Hello, Rory.

****

RORY: Hello, Grandpa.

****

RICHARD: The drive was good?

****

RORY: Yeah, the drive was fine.

****

RICHARD: Good. And school?

****

RORY: School is good.

****

RICHARD: And…Jess?

****

RORY: Jess is good.

****

RICHARD: And you are still…planning on tomorrow?

****

RORY: We are, yes.

****

LORELAI: I'll be at the inn all day.

****

RICHARD: No one asked for you to make an appearance, Lorelai.

****

EMILY: The inn?

****

LORELAI: Yeah, Mom, the place I work.

****

EMILY: I thought it might be a date.

****

RICHARD: Ah, her date with Grayer went well.

****

LORELAI: I will be working. There is no date.

****

RICHARD: But there is the possibility of another date.

****

LORELAI: [_Reluctantly_] I guess.

****

EMILY: A ha!

****

LORELAI: Please tell me we're having steak tonight. [_Pause_] I need a sharp knife.

[_Cut to RORY and JESS sitting at a table in Luke's. RORY is fiddling with the ketchup_]

****

JESS: Will you quit with that?

****

RORY: I'm sorry, I'm nervous.

****

JESS: [_Takes her hand off the ketchup and holds it in his_] Don't be.

****

RORY: [_Takes a deep breath_] Okay. Okay.

[_Bell chimes; RICHARD walks in. He looks around the diner and spots RORY and JESS at their table, comes over, and sits down_]

****

RICHARD: Hello.

****

RORY: Hi, Grandpa. Grandpa, this is Jess. Jess, this is my grandfather.

****

JESS: Hello, Mr. Gilmore.

****

RICHARD: Hello, Jess.

****

RORY: Was your drive good?

****

RICHARD: Very pleasant. It's a nice drive out here.

****

RORY: Good. And you found the diner okay?

****

RICHARD: Yes, yes. Your instructions were very clear. [_Pause_] So, Jess, I understand you work at this diner.

****

JESS: Yup.

****

RICHARD: Do you…enjoy your work?

****

JESS: [_Shrugs_] It could be worse.

****

RICHARD: Yes, yes. That is true of many things. [_Pause_] Rory tells me you're gearing up to take the SAT.

****

JESS: Yeah. Two weeks.

****

RICHARD: Good luck. [_Pause_] Rory has been preparing for quite some time for this process.

****

JESS: I know.

****

RICHARD: It's very important to her.

****

RORY: Jess knows, Grandpa.

****

RICHARD: Ah. Well.

****

RORY: We should order. [_She hands RICHARD a menu_]

****

RICHARD: You don't need one?

****

JESS: I know what they serve.

****

RORY: I've eaten here forever.

****

RICHARD: Well, what would you recommend?

****

RORY: I'm a fan of the burgers.

****

JESS: That's an understatement.

****

RICHARD: I'll try one.

****

RORY: Excellent choice. [_RORY flags LUKE down_]

****

LUKE: Hello, Mr. Gilmore.

****

RICHARD: Hello, Luke.

****

LUKE: What can I get you?

****

RICHARD: Rory tells me your cheeseburgers are delicious.

****

LUKE: She would know best.

****

RICHARD: I'll have one of those and a water.

****

RORY: I'll have the same, except coffee and fries.

****

LUKE: Two burgers, a water, a coffee, and fries. Jess?

****

JESS: Same. Only with a Coke.

****

LUKE: Coming right up. [_LUKE leaves_]

****

RICHARD: That is your uncle?

****

JESS: Yup.

****

RICHARD: And you like living with him?

****

JESS: Yes.

****

RICHARD: That's good.

****

RORY: Luke and Jess renovated their apartment a while back.

****

RICHARD: Is it nice?

****

JESS: It's bigger.

****

RICHARD: Ah. [_Pause_] Rory tells me that you like to read.

****

JESS: Quite a bit, yes.

****

RICHARD: Who are your favorites?

****

JESS: I like Hemingway.

****

RICHARD: Hemingway! An excellent choice. I have a few first editions of his.

****

RORY: They're amazing.

****

JESS: Even to an Ayn Rand fan?

****

RICHARD: You don't like Rand?

****

JESS: Not particularly.

****

RICHARD: I never cared for her either.

****

JESS: Rory had me re-read The Fountainhead.

****

RORY: You did it of your own accord.

****

JESS: After being pressured by you.

****

RORY: I didn't stand there with a knife to your throat and insist that you read it.

****

JESS: Not quite.

****

RICHARD: What's your favorite Hemingway, Jess?

****

JESS: A Farewell to Arms.

****

RICHARD: I'm a The Sun Also Rises fan myself.

****

JESS: I like the size of A Farewell to Arms. The Sun Also Rises seemed too long for its own good.

****

RICHARD: Yes, I suppose that's a reasonable argument. [_There is a long pause_] So, Jess, how has your recent driving record been?

****

RORY: Grandpa.

****

JESS: Fine.

****

RORY: Please don't get into this, Grandpa.

****

RICHARD: I set up this visit to ensure that my granddaughter is safe. This is a part of that process.

****

RORY: It's not necessary, Grandpa. Please, just drop it.

****

RICHARD: Fine. [_Clears his throat_] So, Jess…how is school?

****

JESS: School is fine.

****

RICHARD: I understand you failed quite a few courses last year.

****

JESS: I re-did them in summer school.

****

RICHARD: And your grades were acceptable?

****

RORY: Jess got two A's and a B in summer school.

****

RICHARD: Well, those are decent.

****

RORY: Jess is smart, Grandpa.

****

RICHARD: So I keep hearing. [_A little forcefully_] And your future?

****

JESS: Well, I hope I'll get into a state college, maybe be an English Lit major.

****

RICHARD: And what do you intend to do with this degree?

****

JESS: Write, maybe. Teach.

****

RICHARD: Well, those are admirable goals.

[_LUKE comes over with the food_]

****

LUKE: Here you go.

****

RICHARD: It looks wonderful.

****

RORY: Thanks, Luke.

****

JESS: Yeah, thanks Uncle Luke.

****

RICHARD: Well…let's eat.

[_They dig into their food_]

[_Cut to LANE in her house. She walks into the kitchen where her mother is sitting_]

****

LANE: Mama?

****

MRS. KIM: Yes?

****

LANE: Can we talk?

****

MRS. KIM: About what?

****

LANE: About…things. Clyde things.

****

MRS. KIM: No.

****

LANE: What?

****

MRS. KIM: No.

****

LANE: I haven't said anything yet.

****

MRS. KIM: I know what you are going to say, Lane Kim. You are going to tell me that this…Clyde…will not ruin you. But I know better.

****

LANE: You've never spoken to him, Mama.

****

MRS. KIM: I don't need to know. I already know.

****

LANE: Clyde is a good guy, Mama.

****

MRS. KIM: Obviously is not, Lane! He makes you lie to me.

****

LANE: Henry made me lie to you because I was afraid of you.

****

MRS. KIM: Henry was different.

****

LANE: How?

****

MRS. KIM: He was Korean.

****

LANE: Mama, please, please just meet Clyde.

****

MRS. KIM: You are not going to see this boy anymore, Lane. That is final.

****

LANE: That isn't fair.

****

MRS. KIM: Many things are not fair.

****

LANE: Please, Mama, just speak to him once.

****

MRS. KIM: Speak to the boy who is ruining my daughter? No. No.

****

LANE: What are you going to do when I'm eighteen, Mama?

****

MRS. KIM: Excuse me?

****

LANE: When I'm eighteen, I'll be at college, and you won't know what I'm doing.

****

MRS. KIM: I have raised you not to do bad things.

****

LANE: Exactly, Mama! You raised me not to do bad things. I'm not doing bad things.

****

MRS. KIM: You lied to me, Lane.

****

LANE: I wouldn't have lied if I knew you would just accept Clyde.

****

MRS. KIM: That is the end of this discussion.

****

LANE: [_Pauses and thinks_] I play the drums, Mama.

****

MRS. KIM: [_Slowly_] What? 

****

LANE: I play the drums, Mama. I've been taking lessons.

****

MRS. KIM: More lying?

****

LANE: At the music store. I take lessons there and I work a little so that I can play the drums.

****

MRS. KIM: Lane Kim!

****

LANE: [_Frantically_] I've been doing it for a year now, Mama! I'm getting good, too, and Clyde said I could join his band if I wanted to.

****

MRS. KIM: You are not joining a band, Lane Kim!

****

LANE: [_Starts to cry_] I want a life, Mama!

****

MRS. KIM: You want a life? I dedicated my whole life to raising you, and what do I get in return? This…this ungratefulness.

****

LANE: I'm sorry, Mama, but I can't keep pretending anymore! 

****

MRS. KIM: Pretending what? You act too?

****

LANE: Pretending that I'm the perfect little Korean girl, that I hate American music and values and food—I can't Mama! It hurt me to lie to you.

****

MRS. KIM: Lane Kim, you go to your room!

****

LANE: No! No! [_"Bad Reputation" by Joan Jett starts playing. LANE runs out of the house. MRS. KIM stares after her, angry, lips pursed, then angrily goes back to pricing items_]

[_Cut to RORY, RICHARD, and JESS browsing in the bookstore. RICHARD approaches JESS. RORY looks at them from behind a shelf_]

****

RICHARD: Jess.

****

JESS: Mr. Gilmore.

****

RICHARD: We need to…have a talk.

****

JESS: [_Almost rolls his eyes, but catches himself_] Okay.

****

RICHARD: As you know, I set this visit up to make sure that Rory was safe in her choice of companion.

****

JESS: Yes.

****

RICHARD: And while I still feel that her choice leaves something to be desired, I no longer feel that there is any real danger in her spending time with you. [_Pause. JESS just looks him in the eye_] However, there are some things I feel that I need to tell you. [_Pause_] Rory is…special. I have never felt that any boy was worthy of her time, but she sees something in you, and I cannot change that. Therefore, you, young man, are very fortunate.

****

JESS: I know.

****

RICHARD: Rory is going to an Ivy League school, and I want nothing to come in the way of that, especially a boy. [_Sighs_] I can't take it another time.

****

JESS: I won't.

****

RICHARD: You will treat her like a lady at all times. You will not pressure her. And, so help me God, you will not build her a car.

****

JESS: [_Smirks_] I was actually planning on a hovercraft.

****

RICHARD: [_Smiles a very, very tiny smile_] Well…that's all I can do.

****

JESS: Mr. Gilmore.

****

RICHARD: Yes?

****

JESS: I'm not out to hurt your granddaughter.

****

RICHARD: I know.

[_RORY comes over_]

****

RORY: Find anything?

****

JESS: Not today.

****

RICHARD: No, I didn't either. [_Pause_] Well, I should get going.

****

RORY: It's only two, Grandpa. You can stay if you want.

****

RICHARD: Ah, no, thank you, Rory. Emily has her DAR meeting at Mrs. Lince's house this afternoon, so I will enjoy my peace and quiet while I can.

****

RORY: Okay. Thanks for coming, Grandpa.

****

RICHARD: It was my pleasure. [_Hugs RORY_]

****

RORY: Come back soon?

****

RICHARD: Well, your birthday is coming up. I wouldn't want to miss that.

****

RORY: Good.

****

RICHARD: And Jess…it was nice meeting you. [_Shakes JESS' hand_]

****

JESS: Likewise.

****

RICHARD: Goodbye. [_RICHARD smiles and leaves. RORY exhales_]

****

JESS: [_Wraps his arm around her shoulders_] See?

****

RORY: Thank you.

****

JESS: Your grandpa's not that bad.

****

RORY: I'm glad you think so.

****

JESS: So…you need coffee?

****

RORY: Desperately.

****

JESS: Let's go. [_They leave the bookstore, leaning close, talking_]

[_Cut to LANE running into the Gilmore house. She slams the door behind her and walks into RORY'S room, then lays down on the bed. She puts her hands over her face for a minute, then rolls over and turns the CD player on. "Baba O'Reilly" by The Who is playing. LANE cranks it_]

[_"Baba O'Reilly" fades as we cut to LORELAI at the desk at the inn. The phone rings. LORELAI looks for MICHEL, but doesn't see him, so she picks it up_]

****

LORELAI: Independence Inn.

****

GRAYER: Hello. You must be this Maria I keep hearing about.

****

LORELAI: Oh, actually, she's out. You'll have to settle for Lorelai.

****

GRAYER: I was hoping you'd say that.

****

LORELAI: What's up?

****

GRAYER: Not much. Just wanted to see how you were.

****

LORELAI: I'm good. I'm better now.

****

GRAYER: Good. And I was wondering if you wanted to go to a movie with me tomorrow.

****

LORELAI: Tomorrow?

****

GRAYER: Yeah, sorry about the short notice. I just noticed that they're showing "The Birds" in the park tomorrow night. Apparently, they've been doing it all summer and this is their last one. Nice note to end it on, don't you think?

****

LORELAI: Absolutely. Give people a complex about birds, boost the hunting.

****

GRAYER: So can you come?

****

LORELAI: [_Bites her lip and smiles_] Sure. What time?

****

GRAYER: It starts at four, so I'll pick you up about three? We can grab some sandwiches—

****

LORELAI: And coffee.

****

GRAYER: That's a given.

****

LORELAI: Sounds good. There's a diner here that has the best coffee.

****

GRAYER: Okay, I'll take your word for it. Tomorrow at three.

****

LORELAI: It's a date.

****

GRAYER: Bye, Lorelai.

****

LORELAI: Goodbye, Grayer. [_LORELAI hangs the phone up, smiling. SOOKIE walks up_]

****

SOOKIE: You look happy.

****

LORELAI: Strangely, I am.

****

SOOKIE: You just yelled at Christopher?

****

LORELAI: No. I actually didn't.

****

SOOKIE: Then what's with the mystery? You've been like this all week. Wait! You and Chris are back together?

****

LORELAI: I haven't talked to Christopher at all, Sookie.

****

SOOKIE: No?

****

LORELAI: I…kind of met someone.

****

SOOKIE: [_Gasps_] What? Where? Who?

****

LORELAI: [_Mumbles_] My mom set me up.

****

SOOKIE: You're kidding.

****

LORELAI: No. And she was right, he was pretty great.

****

SOOKIE: Oh, Lorelai, this is so great. [_Pause_] Did you consider what I said…about Luke?

****

LORELAI: Oh, Sookie.

****

SOOKIE: I'm just curious.

****

LORELAI: It's not true, Sookie. That's that. Can we go back to being happy about Grayer?

****

SOOKIE: Sure, sure. [_Pause_] Grayer?

[_Cut to RORY and LORELAI in Luke's_]

****

RORY: "The Birds"?

****

LORELAI: What a depressing end to the season.

****

RORY: I'll say.

****

LORELAI: [_Wickedly_] But I doubt whether we'll be watching the movie.

****

RORY: Mom, gross, I'm going to eat soon.

****

LORELAI: You are strong of stomach, my dear.

****

RORY: Or, at least, I was. [_The door chimes. GRAYER walks in_] Here he is.

****

LORELAI: He looks good.

****

RORY: You would say that if he had a paper bag over his head and was dressed in a barrel.

****

LORELAI: Hey, Grayer.

****

GRAYER: Hi, Lorelai. Hey there, Rory.

****

RORY: Hi.

****

LORELAI: Okay. We'll be back around ten-ish?

****

GRAYER: Sounds about right. You don't mind, do you, Rory?

****

RORY: What? No. Take her away. Far, far away.

****

LORELAI: Yes. All the way to Fez. Without my precious, darling daughter. [_Sees LUKE_] Hey, Luke!

[_LUKE comes over_]

****

LUKE: What?

****

LORELAI: We need six—eight cups of coffee.

****

LUKE: Why don't you just ask for a swimming pool?

****

LORELAI: Well, I didn't think you had any on hand. [_Notices LUKE staring at GRAYER_] Oh, Luke, this is Grayer. Grayer, this is Luke. He owns the place.

****

GRAYER: [_Offers his hand_] Nice to meet you.

****

LUKE: [_Doesn't return the gesture_] Likewise. I'll be right back with that coffee.

****

LORELAI: He's a little prickly, but he's a sweetie once you get to know him.

****

GRAYER: Oh.

****

LORELAI: I wonder if he has any swimming pools on hand.

****

RORY: I'll ask Jess. Maybe he hides them in the bigger apartment.

****

LORELAI: Hmm.

[_LUKE returns with the coffee_]

****

LUKE: Here you go…eight cups.

****

LORELAI: Thanks, Luke. [_To GRAYER_] Ready?

****

GRAYER: If you are.

****

LORELAI: I've got my caffeine. That's the most important thing in the world to me.

****

RORY: Hey!

****

LORELAI: "Far, far away."

****

RORY: Bye. And Grayer?

****

GRAYER: Yes?

****

RORY: I wasn't kidding about the far away thing.

****

GRAYER: Noted.

[_LORELAI and GRAYER leave_]

****

LUKE: You, uh, want anything?

****

RORY: No, I was just going to help Jess.

****

LUKE: Okay.

****

RORY: When do you need him down here?

****

LUKE: Ah…not today.

****

RORY: Thanks, Luke.

[_RORY goes up the stairs. LUKE stands behind the counter and watches as LORELAI and GRAYER get into his car, laughing and joking. Fade out_]

[_End of episode_]


	6. Circle Games

****

"Circle Games"

by columbiachica (kat2005)

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Disclaimer: I own nothing but the situations.

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Author's Notes: Sixth in a series. If you're confused, read the five previous chapters.

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Featured Music:

__

"Landslide," by Fleetwood Mac

"Sweetness," by Jimmy Eat World

"Circle Games," by Joni Mitchell

"Needle in the Hay," by Elliot Smith

"Hannah Hold On," by the Get Up Kids

"The Long Day is Over," by Norah Jones

****

ANNOUNCER: Previously on _Gilmore Girls_…

[_Cut to RORY and RICHARD at the elder Gilmores' dining room table_]

****

RICHARD: How is Jess, Rory?

****

RORY: [_Cautiously_] He's fine.

****

RICHARD: And you two are…still together?

****

RORY: Yes.

****

RICHARD: Hmm. [_Long pause_] I should like to meet this boy.

[_Cut to RORY and LORELAI in the Jeep_]

****

LORELAI: I just don't want you and him to end up having a thing over this.

****

RORY: Yeah, right.

****

LORELAI: What?

****

RORY: You just don't want Grandpa to like him.

****

LORELAI: What?

****

RORY: You don't want Grandpa to like Jess.

****

LORELAI: And why wouldn't I?

****

RORY: Because…that'll be one thing that we have between us that Grandpa and I don't have.

[_Cut to LORELAI at the Inn_]

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EMILY: Well, I was talking with Jorina Kent at my DAR meeting last night, and we got onto the topic of our children.

****

LORELAI: Out of a wealth of topics to talk about…this.

****

EMILY: And Jorina said that her son Grayer was single, and I said that was very convenient, since you were single now that Christopher is out of the picture.

[_Cut to LORELAI and GRAYER in a restaurant_]

****

GRAYER: Ah, well, I should probably come clean now. I wasn't really listening when my mother was telling me all of your numerous merits. To tell you the truth, I was expecting a boring socialite.

****

LORELAI: [_Stunned_] Me too.

****

GRAYER: Thank God.

****

LORELAI: I thought this would be the biggest waste of two hours ever, actually.

****

GRAYER: [_Laughs_] Me too. One too many set-ups?

****

LORELAI: More like a lack of trust in my mother's judgment.

[_Cut to LANE and MRS. KIM in Kim's Antiques_]

****

MRS. KIM: You are not joining a band, Lane Kim!

****

LANE: [_Starts to cry_] I want a life, Mama!

****

MRS. KIM: You want a life? I dedicated my whole life to raising you, and what do I get in return? This…this ungratefulness.

****

LANE: I'm sorry, Mama, but I can't keep pretending anymore! 

[_Cut to RICHARD and JESS in the bookstore_]

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RICHARD: And while I still feel that her choice leaves something to be desired, I no longer feel that there is any real danger in her spending time with you. [_Pause. JESS just looks him in the eye_] However, there are some things I feel that I need to tell you. [_Pause_] Rory is…special. I have never felt that any boy was worthy of her time, but she sees something in you, and I cannot change that. Therefore, you, young man, are very fortunate.

****

JESS: I know.

[_Cut to LUKE in the diner_]

[_LUKE stands behind the counter and watches as LORELAI and GRAYER get into his car, laughing and joking._]

[_Int. RORY and LORELAI on the couch, watching TV_]

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LORELAI: I can't believe this show got cancelled.

****

RORY: I know! What could be more brilliant than Magic Johnson advising people on their problems?

****

LORELAI: Why, it's almost as good as Robert Blake giving advice.

****

RORY: Hey, we should pitch that to some network heads.

****

LORELAI: We'll bat our eyelashes and they'll take it.

****

RORY: Short skirts. Don't forget the short skirts.

****

LORELAI: We'll be rich and famous!

****

RORY: Or at least semi-rich.

****

LORELAI: Hey there, Schmidt, work with me.

****

RORY: And we'll get a private jet!

****

LORELAI: We'll name it Mr. Bubbles.

****

RORY: Why would we name it Mr. Bubbles?

****

LORELAI: Because "Shamoo" is so cliché.

****

RORY: But Mr. Bubbles?

****

LORELAI: There's still time to work out the kinks.

[_LANE comes in through the front door_]

****

LANE: Hey.

****

RORY: Hey! I thought you were under house arrest.

****

LANE: I am.

****

LORELAI: Uh-oh.

****

RORY: You snuck out again! Do you remember what happened last time?

****

LORELAI: It's still burned onto my brain.

****

LANE: I can't stand it anymore.

****

RORY: But sneaking out? You could have called.

****

LANE: This is my rebellious phase.

****

LORELAI: I can give you some advice on that. Hey! Me giving advice!

****

RORY: Robert Blake is better.

****

LORELAI: No way. I can do makeovers better.

****

RORY: But do you have a murdered wife?

****

LORELAI: Ew. No.

****

LANE: What are you guys talking about?

****

LORELAI: Robert Blake is going to have a talk show.

****

RORY: We're going to be rich and famous.

****

LORELAI: We're going to name our private jet Mr. Bubbles.

****

LANE: Mr. Bubbles?

****

RORY: That's what I said.

****

LORELAI: Okay, there's still time.

****

LANE: Can I have in on it?

****

LORELAI: That depends. Do you have a murdered wife?

****

LANE: I have a militant Korean mother.

****

RORY: Close enough. You're in.

****

LANE: Can I bring Clyde?

****

LORELAI: Can he do makeup?

****

LANE: I could teach him.

****

RORY: Still no word, huh?

****

LANE: My mother has officially scared him off.

****

RORY: What did she do?

****

LANE: She threatened him in two languages.

****

RORY: I'm surprised he was so easily scared off.

****

LANE: Rory, you've heard my mother swear in Korean.

****

RORY: Point taken.

****

LANE: Poor guy.

****

RORY: So you haven't talked to him at all?

****

LANE: I sent him a letter.

****

RORY: Your mother didn't notice the missing stamp?

****

LANE: Oh, see, I gave it to Kirk, who gave it to Mark, who stuck it in Clyde's mailbox.

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RORY: That's inventive.

****

LANE: Desperate times call for desperate measures.

****

LORELAI: He had a makeover section?

[_All three look at the TV_]

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LANE: She looks like Dennis Rodman.

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LORELAI: They must just rotate makeup in the NBA.

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RORY: That is exceptionally gross.

****

LANE: Who bets the next person looks like RuPaul?

****

RORY and LORELAI: Me!

****

LANE: I can't believe this show got cancelled.

[_All three of them giggle_]

[_Opening credits_]

[_First commercial break_]

[_Int. Luke's Diner. RORY and LORELAI are sitting at a table by the wind_ow]

****

LORELAI: And then Sookie goes, "Hey, Michel?" and Michel goes, "Yes?" in that annoying French accent—it's probably fake.

****

RORY: Who would pretend to be French?

****

LORELAI: Michel.

****

RORY: No one would pretend to be French. Only the true French take pride in their nationality.

****

LORELAI: I bet he does it just to be annoying.

****

RORY: Why don't you just ask him?

****

LORELAI: He would be miffed that I doubted his true French-ness.

****

RORY: So you would say he's proud to be French.

****

LORELAI: I guess.

****

RORY: Which brings me back to only the true French take pride in their nationality.

****

LORELAI: Hush.

[_LUKE_ _comes up to the table_]

****

LUKE: Order.

****

LORELAI: Not much for foreplay?

****

RORY: Mom.

****

LUKE: You gonna order?

****

LORELAI: Burger.

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RORY: Two.

****

LORELAI: And coffee.

****

RORY: Pie.

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LORELAI: Apple.

****

LUKE: We're out of apple.

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LORELAI: You always save us the last pieces.

****

LUKE: Wasn't sure if you'd be in.

****

LORELAI: We're here every day.

****

LUKE: I had hungry people. I have to feed the hungry people.

****

LORELAI: We're hungry people.

****

LUKE: Hungry people that can eat cherry pie.

****

LORELAI: Hungry people who prefer apple pie.

****

LUKE: And the diner owner who doesn't care.

****

LORELAI: Ouch.

****

LUKE: Cherry pie or bust.

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RORY: Cherry pie.

****

LORELAI: Bust.

****

LUKE: Fine.

[_LUKE walks away behind the counter_]

****

LORELAI: Can you believe it? What a grouch. My high is now low.

****

RORY: It's not that big of a deal.

****

LORELAI: Huh? What? "Not that big of a deal?"

****

RORY: It's just pie, Mom.

****

LORELAI: It is not just pie.

****

RORY: What is it then?

****

LORELAI: It's apple pie.

****

RORY: Okay, then it's _just_ apple pie.

****

LORELAI: The apple pie is not _just_ apple pie. It's something deeper.

****

RORY: Mom, I think you read way too many deep books lately.

****

LORELAI: He _always_ saves us the last pieces.

****

RORY: Well, he said he had hungry people.

****

LORELAI: _We're_ hungry people. Who could be hungrier than us?

****

RORY: Mr. Houghlin can be intimidating when he's hungry.

****

LORELAI: Why didn't Luke just tell him that he was out of apple pie?

****

RORY: You know Mr. Houghlin claims to be psychic.

****

LORELAI: Luke doesn't believe in psychics.

****

RORY: Whatever. 

****

LORELAI: I want my pie.

****

RORY: You could have had cherry.

****

LORELAI: I wanted apple.

****

RORY: Let's just find a different topic.

****

LORELAI: But I'm not done analyzing.

****

RORY: Analyze later when I'm not hungry.

****

LORELAI: [_Pouting_] Fine.

[_JESS comes out of the kitchen and hands them their food_]

****

RORY: Hey that's apple pie.

****

JESS: Have you thought of applying to MENSA?

****

RORY: Luke said he was out.

****

JESS: He's not.

****

LORELAI: He lied!

****

RORY: Wow, I've never heard Luke lie. He was pretty convincing.

****

JESS: Anything else?

****

RORY: I'm good.

****

LORELAI: Ask Luke why he lied.

****

JESS: You're on your own. [_He leans down and kisses RORY, then walks back to the kitchen_]

****

LORELAI: Unbelievable. He didn't want us to have the pie.

****

RORY: Maybe he wanted Jess to surprise us with it.

****

LORELAI: No.

****

RORY: Not this again.

****

LORELAI: This is definitely symbolic.

****

RORY: Eating and ignoring you.

****

LORELAI: You can't ignore me!

****

RORY: Sure I can. What do you think I've been doing for seventeen years?

****

LORELAI: Hits from all sides!

****

RORY: Mom, just eat.

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LORELAI: Hmph. [_They eat for a while_] I can't believe he lied.

[_Int. RICHARD and EMILY'S. The family is gathered around the dining room table_]

****

EMILY: Rory, how's school?

****

RORY: It's good. I took my SAT's.

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RICHARD: Did you do well?

****

RORY: The scores aren't back yet.

****

EMILY: I'm sure you did well.

****

LORELAI: So, Dad, how's work?

****

RICHARD: Oh, it's fine, it's fine.

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EMILY: Your father's being modest. His company is one of the fastest growing in Connecticut!

****

RORY: That's great, Grandpa.

****

RICHARD: Well, yes, it is, isn't it?

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EMILY: The girls at club are jealous.

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LORELAI: That must be an unflattering shade of green.

****

EMILY: Well, I'm not one to gloat, Lorelai.

****

RORY: [_Quickly_] So, Grandpa, how's your new secretary?

****

RICHARD: She's remarkable! Margie can't hold a candle to her.

****

LORELAI: Glad to hear it, Dad.

****

EMILY: [_Smugly_] And how's that boyfriend of yours, Lorelai?

****

LORELAI: Me?

****

EMILY: Yes, you silly. Who else do I call Lorelai?

****

LORELAI: Well, Rory is technically a Lorelai. [_Pause_] He's fine.

****

EMILY: Things are still going well, then.

****

LORELAI: Yes, Mom.

****

EMILY: Well, I guess my judgment isn't so bad all the time.

****

LORELAI: I thought you weren't one to gloat, Mom.

****

EMILY: I'm not gloating, dear. I'm merely making a point.

****

LORELAI: While gloating!

****

EMILY: Lorelai, I am not gloating.

****

LORELAI: Ha!

****

RICHARD: And how's Jess, Rory?

****

RORY: Oh, he's fine.

****

RICHARD: He took his SAT's as well?

****

RORY: Yep.

****

RICHARD: Ah.

****

RORY: We're just glad all the extra studying is done.

****

RICHARD: I'm sure. I recall studying for the ACT's. Dreadful.

****

RORY: I think I dreamt in sample tests.

****

RICHARD: [_Chuckles_] Ah, yes, yes.

****

LORELAI: Oh, I remember those days.

[_Silence_]

****

RICHARD: Ah, Rory.

****

RORY: Yes?

****

RICHARD: I was thinking about something over my lunch hours this past week.

****

LORELAI: Oh no.

****

RICHARD: No input from you please, Lorelai.

****

RORY: Go on.

****

RICHARD: Well, since you will be starting at Yale next fall, I thought that since you had Thanksgiving break coming up in a couple weeks, it would be a perfect time for a campus tour.

****

RORY: But won't everyone from Yale be on break too?

****

RICHARD: I can finagle something.

****

RORY: Can Mom come?

****

LORELAI: No.

****

RORY: Mom.

****

RICHARD: If she would like to, yes.

****

LORELAI: That's okay.

****

RORY: Don't you want to see where I'll be going to college?

****

EMILY: It would be a nice trip.

****

LORELAI: I'll think about it.

****

RICHARD: Wonderful! I'll set it up.

****

RORY: Great. Thanks, Grandpa.

****

RICHARD: Certainly.

****

RORY: This is so exciting.

****

RICHARD: Isn't it?

****

LORELAI: [_Dryly_] I'm just about to perish.

****

RORY: [_Throws LORELAI a dirty look_] This dinner is delicious, Grandma.

****

EMILY: New cook.

****

LORELAI: Again?

****

EMILY: Sandra—or Sarah—

****

LORELAI: Sally?

****

EMILY: She lasted a month.

****

LORELAI: This is a long time?

****

EMILY: Then I found out that she'd been heating the food in containers without non-stick!

****

LORELAI: But _you_ didn't have to clean them.

****

EMILY: It's unsanitary.

****

LORELAI: People in the seventies seemed to survive.

****

EMILY: People in the seventies were stoned.

****

LORELAI: Mom, that's no reason to fire someone.

****

EMILY: I think it is.

****

RICHARD: This new cook is exceptional.

****

EMILY: See?

[_LORELAI looks from her mother to her father in disbelief. RORY grins_]

[_Int. the Independence. LORELAI is manning the desk. The phone rings_]

****

LORELAI: Independence Inn, how may I help you?

[_Cut between LORELAI and GRAYER_]

****

GRAYER: Damn, I keep missing Maria.

****

LORELAI: [_Smiles_] Can I give her a message?

****

GRAYER: Hmm, yes. Tell her that I think she's absolutely stunning and that she should have dinner with me at Minerva's tomorrow night at eight.

****

LORELAI: If she can't come, how about Lorelai?

****

GRAYER: Well, I suppose. Maria is awfully busy.

****

LORELAI: And if Lorelai went, do you suppose you'd mind picking her up early for some pre-dinner coffee?

****

GRAYER: I'll see what I can do.

****

LORELAI: Excellent.

****

GRAYER: So, how have you been?

****

LORELAI: Good, good. Yourself?

****

GRAYER: Not so hot.

****

LORELAI: No?

****

GRAYER: Food poisoning.

****

LORELAI: Yuck. Glad I missed that.

****

GRAYER: Don't think those clients like me.

****

LORELAI: So, other than the food poisoning…good?

****

GRAYER: Good.

****

LORELAI: Good.

[_SOOKIE comes running out of the kitchen_]

****

SOOKIE: Lorelai!

****

LORELAI: Hang on. [_She puts her hand over the mouthpiece_] What's wrong?

****

SOOKIE: Dinner. Ruined.

****

LORELAI: Don't hyperventilate. We'll order pizza.

****

SOOKIE: Pizza?! Lorelai, we can't—

****

LORELAI: I know, I was kidding. Calm down. Now what happened?

****

SOOKIE: I just went to the bathroom and then I came back and Phil had spilled cayenne pepper in the fettuccini.

****

LORELAI: Well, make something else.

****

SOOKIE: I only have an hour!

****

LORELAI: How long can it take to boil some pasta?

****

SOOKIE: We don't boil pasta! We make our own!

****

LORELAI: Okay, okay. Well…hold on. [_She gets back on the phone_] I might be a while. We're having a dinner crisis.

****

GRAYER: What happened?

****

LORELAI: Sookie's homemade fettuccini was ruined.

****

GRAYER: With what?

****

LORELAI: Cayenne pepper.

****

GRAYER: Ooh. Ouch. Can she make some sort of spicy casserole out of it?

****

LORELAI: I'll ask. [_To SOOKIE_] Can you make a spicy casserole out of it?

****

SOOKIE: [_Thinks_] Hey! That's not a bad idea. [_Runs to the kitchen_]

****

LORELAI: [_On phone_] Hey, you totally saved our dinner!

****

GRAYER: All comes with the Superman outfit.

****

LORELAI: Ooh, Spandex.

****

GRAYER: With matching underwear.

****

LORELAI: [_Giggles_] That I'd like to see.

****

GRAYER: Next time we're in a phone booth.

[_LUKE enters and walks up to the desk_]

****

LORELAI: Phone booths are awfully tiny…how could be fit two people in one?

****

GRAYER: We'd have to be mighty close.

****

LORELAI: [_Sees LUKE_] Hold on a sec. [_To LUKE_] Oh thank God you're here.

****

LUKE: Doorframe?

****

LORELAI: Come on, I'll show you. [_To GRAYER_] I gotta go.

****

GRAYER: Tomorrow at six-thirty?

****

LORELAI: You betcha. [_Hangs up. To LUKE_] Come on.

[_LUKE follows her up the stairs to a room with a broken doorframe_]

****

LUKE: What happened?

****

LORELAI: Domestic dispute.

****

LUKE: Sheesh.

****

LORELAI: I'll paint it when you're done.

****

LUKE: Sure. [_LORELAI starts to walk away_] Who was that on the phone?

****

LORELAI: Why?

****

LUKE: Didn't sound too business-like.

****

LORELAI: It was Grayer.

****

LUKE: Still goin' out with him? [_He starts digging tools out_]

****

LORELAI: [_Uncomfortable_] Yeah.

****

LUKE: Thought you said your mother had crappy taste.

****

LORELAI: Usually she does. Must have been a rare occasion of normalcy—or, you know, those mushrooms I sent her. They looked a little shifty.

****

LUKE: Ah. [_They stand there awkwardly_] I oughta get to work.

****

LORELAI: Oh, yes. Okay. Um, come get me if you need anything.

****

LUKE: [_Doesn't look at her_] Sure.

[_LORELAI walks downstairs, back to the desk. MICHEL approaches_]

****

MICHEL: The annoying man with the threadbare coat beckons.

****

LORELAI: Rune?

****

MICHEL: Ah, yes. [_Distastefully_] Rune.

****

LORELAI: [_Sighs_] Where?

****

MICHEL: By the back porch.

[_Cut to LORELAI on the back porch_]

****

LORELAI: Yes, Rune?

****

RUNE: You know, I don't know why you call me the handyman.

****

LORELAI: Come to think of it, neither do I.

****

RUNE: If there's something broken, I should get to fix it.

****

LORELAI: What are you talking about?

****

RUNE: The doorframe!

****

LORELAI: Do you remember what happened with the porch rail?

****

RUNE: That was a mistake.

****

LORELAI: The woman broke her leg. We were lucky she didn't sue.

****

RUNE: I can't believe I went out with you.

****

LORELAI: I need some Valium.

[_Int. Kim's Antiques. RORY walking behind Kim's Antiques. She climbs the tree and knocks on LANE'S window_]

****

LANE: Hey!

****

RORY: Hey.

****

LANE: A visitor.

****

RORY: Did you get in trouble for the other night?

****

LANE: I snuck in undetected.

****

RORY: Wow. How did you do that?

****

LANE: Camouflage and several military secrets ordered off e-bay.

****

RORY: Impressive.

****

LANE: So what's up? I'm dying for news.

****

RORY: Well, my grandpa invited me on a campus tour.

****

LANE: Are you going?

****

RORY: Of course. I'm going to be going there next year.

****

LANE: Is your mom okay with it?

****

RORY: I'm making her come.

****

LANE: Oh.

****

RORY: "Oh"?

****

LANE: Well, seeing as she isn't happy with it…

****

RORY: She's just going to have to get over it.

****

LANE: I wish I could say that about my mom.

****

RORY: Maybe you'll wear her down.

****

LANE: Rory, wearing my mother down is like wearing down steel-encased tire treads. 

****

RORY: Then you'll need a heavy truck.

****

LANE: He wrote back.

****

RORY: No! What did he say?

****

LANE: Hang on. [_She goes over to her book case and removes a book. She flips through the pages and removes a letter_] Okay, "Dear Lane—"

****

RORY: Aw, "dear."

****

LANE: Rory, that's how everyone starts letters.

****

RORY: He could have said, "To Whom it May Concern."

****

LANE: Rory.

****

RORY: Continue.

****

LANE: "I got your letter. Sorry about your mom. The band is going to Boston next week—"

****

RORY: Boston? Wow! For what?

****

LANE: I'm getting to it.

****

RORY: Sorry.

****

LANE: "—going to Boston to open for Student Rick."

****

RORY: That's so cool!

****

LANE: I know!

****

RORY: Wow, they're getting a lot of publicity.

****

LANE: It's so exciting.

****

RORY: It's so cool that you're going out with a rock star.

****

LANE: You mean, that I have association with a rock star.

****

RORY: You're going out with a rock star.

****

LANE: Pot_at_o, po_ta_to. "When we get back, our school is having prom. I know that your mother hates me and everything, but I was hoping you'd be able to convince her to let you come."

****

RORY: Oh, Lane!

****

LANE: I'll never convince her.

****

RORY: I'll help.

****

LANE: How?

****

RORY: You could say that you're doing something with my mom and I.

****

LANE: She won't let me out of the house for anything. She doesn't even trust me to run to the grocery store anymore.

****

RORY: I could try talking to her.

****

LANE: I don't think that'd work.

****

RORY: Anything's worth a shot.

****

LANE: [_Hesitantly_] Just don't mention prom, okay?

****

RORY: Sure. [_Checks her watch_] I better get home. Mom will be back from work soon.

****

LANE: Okay. Climb soon.

****

RORY:I will. [_RORY slides back down the tree. La-la's start. LANE sits on the floor and reads her letter again. MRS. KIM calls in the background. Reluctantly, LANE puts her letter away and goes slowly down the stairs_]

[_Second commercial break_]

[_Int. Gilmore house. It's about six the next night. RORY is studying on the couch. LORELAI can be heard rummaging upstairs_]

****

LORELAI: Rory!

****

RORY: Yes?

****

LORELAI: Did you borrow my spangly sweater?

****

RORY: Why would I borrow your spangly sweater?

****

LORELAI: 'Cause you wanted to spice up your uniform?

****

RORY: I didn't borrow your spangly sweater.

****

LORELAI: Then where is it?

****

RORY: Probably in the back of the closet.

****

LORELAI: Why the back?

****

RORY: Because that's where I hung it the last time I hung it up three months ago.

[_Rustling from upstairs_]

****

LORELAI: Ahh! I love you!

****

RORY: Good.

****

LORELAI: You'll be my favorite daughter forever and ever and ever!

****

RORY: What an honor.

****

LORELAI: So…any thoughts on my spangly sweater shoes?

****

RORY: You're on your own.

****

LORELAI: Come help me look?

****

RORY: [_Sighs, gets up off the couch and walks to LORELAI'S room_] I hope you get over the "I-have-to-look-pretty-for-him" phase soon.

****

LORELAI: I am not going through that phase.

****

RORY: I beg to differ.

****

LORELAI: I'm not!

****

RORY: Sure.

****

LORELAI: We're going out to a fancy dinner.

****

RORY: Okay, okay.

****

LORELAI: What are you and Jess doing tonight?

****

RORY: Just hanging around here.

****

LORELAI: Nothing that would appear in _Unfaithful_, got it?

****

RORY: Mom, we're just going to read. Well, he'll read, I'll do homework.

****

LORELAI: Promise me.

****

RORY: I promise.

****

LORELAI: Good.

****

RORY: So, is this a wait up date or not?

****

LORELAI: [_Grins wickedly_] Definitely not.

****

RORY: I have got to learn to stop asking that.

****

LORELAI: It'll come with practice. [_LORELAI steps over to her makeup table. RORY sits on the bed_]

****

RORY: Mom?

****

LORELAI: Yeah?

****

RORY: How did you know you were ready for sex?

****

LORELAI: [_Chokes_] What?

****

RORY: How did you know?

****

LORELAI: Are you thinking about having sex with Jess?

****

RORY: No.

****

LORELAI: Why are you asking?

****

RORY: I'm conducting a poll.

****

LORELAI: Rory.

****

RORY: I just want to know.

****

LORELAI: [_Sighs_] I don't think I was.

****

RORY: Oh.

****

LORELAI: Look, I'm not going to tell you to save it for marriage. But honey, you have to make sure that the relationship is one that's going to last. There's nothing worse than having sex with someone and then breaking up the next day. You'll feel cheap and used.

****

RORY: You and Dad didn't last.

****

LORELAI: In a way, we did. We raised you kind of together.

****

RORY: So a lasting relationship? That's the criteria?

****

LORELAI: Well, obviously you have to love the person, and they have to love you back.

****

RORY: How do you decide whether or not to have sex with someone?

****

LORELAI: Rory, can we talk about this later? This is a really important discussion, and I don't want to have it while applying makeup.

****

RORY: Okay.

****

LORELAI: Tell me the truth, though. Are you thinking about having sex with Jess?

****

RORY: No.

****

LORELAI: Okay.

[_The doorbell rings_]

****

RORY: I'll get it.

[_She runs downstairs and opens the door. GRAYER is standing there_]

****

GRAYER: Heya, Rory.

****

RORY: Hi. Come on in.

****

GRAYER: Not ready yet?

****

RORY: Are you kidding?

****

GRAYER: I have a reputation for it.

****

RORY: You want something to drink?

****

GRAYER: I'm fine, thanks. [_Pause_] Hey, I had something to run by you.

****

RORY: Okay.

****

GRAYER: We don't really know each other all that well. I'm not really good at the parental thing. But I thought we could do something together. There's a Spanish art exhibit at the art museum…your mom told me you were in Spanish…I thought you might enjoy it.

****

RORY: Okay.

****

GRAYER: Yeah? We can do something else if you want.

****

RORY: Oh, that's okay. I like art.

****

GRAYER: Good, good. Is Saturday okay?

****

RORY: Sure.

****

GRAYER: Great. Then I'll swing by about eleven. We can get something to eat, maybe sneak some snacks in.

****

RORY: [_Giggles_] That's what Mom and I do at the movies.

****

GRAYER: [_Smiles_] Then it's a plan.

****

RORY: It's a plan.

****

GRAYER: Good.

[_LORELAI comes thumping down the stairs_]

****

LORELAI: Okay, I got it together.

****

GRAYER: That'd be a first.

****

LORELAI: Ah, hush, you. [_To RORY_] There's pizza money, or you can make Jess bring some diner stuff. Remember what we talked about.

****

RORY: Got it.

****

LORELAI: Okay. Bye, sweetie.

****

RORY: Bye, Mom.

[_LORELAI and GRAYER leave. RORY goes to the kitchen and lays her study materials out_]

[_Time lapse. About twenty minutes later. There's a knock at the back door. RORY gets up and answers it. JESS is standing there with food_]

****

JESS: Hey.

****

RORY: Hey. Come on in.

[_JESS slides past her and sets the food on the counter_]

****

JESS: We got burgers, we got fries, we got _apple_ pie, we got coffee…missing anything?

****

RORY: My kiss.

****

JESS: I knew I forgot something. [_He leans down and kisses her. They wrap their arms around each other and the kiss quickly deepens. JESS turns RORY around so she's against the counter and leans against her. RORY breaks away_]

****

RORY: There we go. [_She slides away from him and starts digging in the box. He wraps his arms around her from behind and kisses her ear and neck_] Jess.

****

JESS: Hmm?

****

RORY: You're distracting me.

****

JESS: From the harrowing task of food selection? [_He kisses her neck again_]

****

RORY: Jess. [_She turns around. JESS straightens up_]

****

JESS: Something wrong?

****

RORY: I think we need to…slow down.

****

JESS: Slow down? From what?

****

RORY: I just…I don't want our whole relationship to be making out.

****

JESS: Our relationship is hardly all making out.

****

RORY: I just think we should try and tone it down a little.

****

JESS: Rory, that's insane. So we kiss a little. We're teenagers. It's not exactly _Cruel Intentions_ here.

****

RORY: Jess, please.

****

JESS: Hey, okay. [_He takes his coat off and starts getting food_]

****

RORY: Don't be mad.

****

JESS: I'm not mad.

****

RORY: Yes you are.

****

JESS: I'm confused, not mad.

****

RORY: It's not that I don't…enjoy it, but…

****

JESS: But what? If you enjoy it, why stop?

****

RORY: I just don't want it to go too far.

****

JESS: Oh.

****

RORY: What?

****

JESS: That's what this is about.

****

RORY: I repeat, what?

****

JESS: Sex. I should have known.

****

RORY: That is not what this is about.

****

JESS: No?

****

RORY: No.

****

JESS: This is exactly what this is about. In your mind, you've equated making out with having sex.

****

RORY: That's not true!

****

JESS: Rory, they're two completely separate things. One requires a lack of clothing. [_He gestures to both of them_] See? Fully clothed. I even had my jacket on a while ago.

****

RORY: Jess, this isn't about…that.

****

JESS: Please. [_He sits down. RORY stands by his chair_]

****

RORY: Can we just slow it down?

****

JESS: You had no problem kissing Dean.

****

RORY: Dean and I went out for two years.

****

JESS: That makes no difference.

****

RORY: Yes it did. [_Unknowingly quoting LORELAI_] That was a lasting relationship.

****

JESS: And this isn't?

****

RORY: That's not what I said—can we just drop this?

****

JESS: You're the one who brought it up.

****

RORY: Which gives me the right to drop it.

****

JESS: Whatever.

****

RORY: Thank you.

[_She sits down and starts eating. JESS looks at her, then down at his food. RORY looks at him, then back at her food_]

[_Int. Minerva's. LORELAI and GRAYER are eating_]

****

LORELAI: This is good.

****

GRAYER: So that's their justification for charging thirty dollars a plate.

****

LORELAI: Not including extra fries.

****

GRAYER: Not including fries at all.

****

LORELAI: Oh yeah.

****

GRAYER: Oh, uh, hey.

****

LORELAI: With a vocabulary like that, you could be president.

****

GRAYER: I have something to ask you.

****

LORELAI: Okay…

****

GRAYER: Well, we've been going out for—what?—a month now?

****

LORELAI: That sounds accurate.

****

GRAYER: And you have a daughter.

****

LORELAI: Still accurate.

****

GRAYER: A daughter whom I hardly know.

****

LORELAI: Rory's always been one to be shrouded in mystery.

****

GRAYER: I was wondering if we could spend a little time together…try to get to know each other.

****

LORELAI: Oh. [_She looks at her food_]

****

GRAYER: No?

****

LORELAI: Just "oh."

****

GRAYER: We don't have to.

****

LORELAI: Well, Rory doesn't usually socialize with the men in my life…you know, one on one.

****

GRAYER: I'm not a rapist.

****

LORELAI: I know. It's just…

****

GRAYER: What?

****

LORELAI: Well, um, I don't like Rory getting too attached.

****

GRAYER: Why not?

****

LORELAI: Well, you know, if I break up with someone, I don't want her to feel like _she's_ breaking up with someone.

****

GRAYER: Lorelai, it's just an afternoon together.

****

LORELAI: I know. I just don't want her to get all attached and then someday—for some reason or another—we break up and she's the one who's bereft.

****

GRAYER: Tell you what. If we break up, I'll still be Rory's friend, if she wants me to be.

****

LORELAI: That's an awfully big promise to make.

****

GRAYER: I always keep my promises.

****

LORELAI: Well…I guess.

****

GRAYER: I was going to take her to the Spanish art exhibit.

****

LORELAI: She'll love that.

****

GRAYER: You told me she was in Spanish.

****

LORELAI: Best student in her class.

****

GRAYER: Told me that too.

****

LORELAI: I never miss a chance to brag.

****

GRAYER: I've noticed.

****

LORELAI: Although, like my mother, I'm not one to gloat.

****

GRAYER: My mother thinks your mother is terribly conceited.

****

LORELAI: My mother thinks your mother's fat.

****

GRAYER: [_Laughs_] Oh, no, I'd hate to see what you're going to do with a fat mama joke.

****

LORELAI: Oh, I'm too good for those. I just like the set-up.

****

GRAYER: Tricky.

****

LORELAI: I prefer bewitching.

****

GRAYER: I prefer Derwood.

****

LORELAI: Fair enough. 

[_They start eating again. LORELAI looks in her food with a pensive face_]

[_Int. Gilmore house. JESS is reading Fraud; RORY is doing homework_]

****

RORY: Hey, is there any more pie?

****

JESS: [_Hands her a container_] One more piece.

****

RORY: Thank God. Calculus takes it out of you.

****

JESS: Huh.

****

RORY: [_Starts eating_] Mmm. Good pie.

****

JESS: You probably wouldn't eat it if it weren't.

****

RORY: Good point. [_Pause_] Um, hey, I noticed that Luke's been in a bad mood lately.

****

JESS: Oh?

****

RORY: Yeah. You know anything about it?

****

JESS: Nope.

****

RORY: Jess, you live with the man.

****

JESS: I don't inspect every facet of his life.

****

RORY: I didn't say you did.

****

JESS: Okay.

****

RORY: It's just…did anything…happen?

****

JESS: You mean, did I do anything?

****

RORY: No. I mean, um…does Luke know about my mom?

****

JESS: That mental rehabilitation thing? Shame.

****

RORY: Jess.

****

JESS: Yes, he knows.

****

RORY: That's why he lied about the pie.

****

JESS: Such deductive skills.

****

RORY: [_Puts down her fork_] Okay, you're mad.

****

JESS: I'm not mad.

****

RORY: Jess, come on, you're mad.

****

JESS: I just get a little concerned when my girlfriend doesn't want to kiss me.

****

RORY: I never said that.

****

JESS: Oh, sure. Deny it.

****

RORY: Hey! I never said that. I just said that I thought we should take it down a notch or two.

****

JESS: A notch or two from _what_?

****

RORY: From…from…

****

JESS: Right.

****

RORY: Okay, you got me.

****

JESS: I knew it.

****

RORY: I don't want to make my mother's mistake.

****

JESS: I guarantee you that pregnancy does not occur through the ear.

****

RORY: Oh, ha, ha, ha.

****

JESS: You think I'm going to pressure you into having sex?

****

RORY: No.

****

JESS: That's what it sounds like to me.

****

RORY: Get your ears checked.

****

JESS: I did last week.

****

RORY: Then get a Q-tip.

****

JESS: Is that what you think?

****

RORY: No.

****

JESS: Is that what Lorelai told you?

****

RORY: No!

****

JESS: Are you sure?

****

RORY: Mom didn't say anything.

****

JESS: Sure.

****

RORY: Jess…

****

JESS: Lorelai probably told you that all I'm interested in is sex and that I'll get you pregnant in a week.

****

RORY: She didn't say anything.

****

JESS: Look, sure. [_He stands_] I should go.

****

RORY: Jess, that's not what happened.

****

JESS: I told Luke I'd help close.

****

RORY: Jess, don't go.

****

JESS: See you tomorrow. [_He leaves. "Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac plays_]

[_RORY sits at the table. There are tears in her eyes_]

[_Third commercial break_]

[_Int. Gilmore house. GRAYER gets out of his car. He walks up to the door and knocks_._ RORY opens it_]

****

RORY: Hi.

****

GRAYER: Hey. You ready?

****

RORY: Yup. 

[_They go back to his car_]

[_Cut to RORY and GRAYER driving_]

****

GRAYER: So I hear you're an excellent student.

****

RORY: That's the rumor.

****

GRAYER: Your mom never misses a chance to brag.

****

RORY: That's Mom for you. There was this one time when I was in second grade…I started learning cursive, and when I wrote my first words in it, she showed it to the entire town.

****

GRAYER: That sounds like Lorelai.

****

RORY: Or there was the time I made this…thing…out of clay. It was so ugly, but Mom still made them put it on display in the school showcase.

****

GRAYER: [_Laughs_] I have a feeling these stories could go on for a while.

****

RORY: All day.

****

GRAYER: So you like school, then.

****

RORY: Yeah. It's kind of stressful sometimes—and the people aren't the nicest—but yeah, I like it.

****

GRAYER: Chilton, right?

****

RORY: Yep, Chilton.

****

GRAYER: I went to Andover. I'm pretty sure my parents just wanted to send me away. [_Chuckles_]

****

RORY: That sounds like Mom and her parents.

****

GRAYER: I have a theory that all families in Hartford are exactly alike.

****

RORY: [_Giggles_] Have you told Mom?

****

GRAYER: What, and get her to be quiet for five whole minutes?

****

RORY: You have to distract her from whatever she's talking about and get her interested.

****

GRAYER: Hmm. I'll try that.

[_Pause_]

****

RORY: Mom told me you're a coffee drinker.

****

GRAYER: I thought I was the biggest addict in Connecticut…until I met your mom.

****

RORY: It's a big part of her life. She says that's why she could never be with Luke. He's a tea drinker.

****

GRAYER: Luke, huh? The diner owner?

****

RORY: Yeah. Have you met him?

****

GRAYER: Well, our first encounter didn't go so well.

****

RORY: That's Luke. He doesn't like new people. Well, he doesn't like old people too sometimes.

****

GRAYER: You're pretty close to him?

****

RORY: I guess he's been kind of a dad to me.

****

GRAYER: Ah—you're dating his nephew.

****

RORY: [_Blushes_] Yeah, Jess.

****

GRAYER: I remember this story.

****

RORY: Not all of my mom's stories are accurate.

****

GRAYER: No?

****

RORY: She likes to embellish.

****

GRAYER: She told me that Jess had eighty-seven tattoos, nipple rings, a drug habit and three convictions.

****

RORY: [_Stunned, then getting it_] Oh no, that's all true. But he doesn't cry at chick flicks, no matter what she told you.

****

GRAYER: I knew there was too much twinkle in her eye when she said that.

****

RORY: Tell-tale sign.

****

GRAYER: Now, she also told me that you were at the top of your class. Embellishment or fact?

****

RORY: Top three percent.

****

GRAYER: Fact, then.

****

RORY: Well, I'm not number one or anything.

****

GRAYER: She told me that you wanted to go to Harvard.

****

RORY: I used to. I'm going to Yale, though.

****

GRAYER: I went to Yale. It's a great school.

****

RORY: [_Excited_] You went to Yale?

****

GRAYER: Four years plus graduate school.

****

RORY: Wow. My grandpa would love you.

****

GRAYER: Yale man?

****

RORY: If he could, he'd start a fan club.

****

GRAYER: We'll have a lot to talk about.

****

RORY: Do you like to read?

****

GRAYER: Well, sure.

****

RORY: My grandpa loves reading.

****

GRAYER: Your mother never mentioned that.

****

RORY: I thought so.

****

GRAYER: So…Chinese okay?

****

RORY: Wow, a multi-cultural day.

****

GRAYER: A tour of the nations, right here in Hartford, Connecticut.

****

RORY: Sounds good.

****

GRAYER: Good.

[_Int. Independence Inn. LORELAI is at the desk. SOOKIE enters_]

****

SOOKIE: Lorelai, I need to talk to you.

****

LORELAI: Okay.

****

SOOKIE: Not here.

****

LORELAI: Time to bust out that underground lair.

****

SOOKIE: Can we just…go in the kitchen—no, your office.

****

LORELAI: Is something wrong?

****

SOOKIE: No! No. Just…come. [_Giggles_] Come on.

****

LORELAI: [_Suspiciously_] Okay…hey Michel, cover the desk for me.

****

MICHEL: Oh certainly. Would you like me to shine your shoes as well?

****

LORELAI: Actually, if you wouldn't mind, I stepped in some mud this morning and—

****

MICHEL: Stop the drivel, please.

****

LORELAI: [_To SOOKIE_] Let's go.

[_Cut to LORELAI and SOOKIE in LORELAI'S office_]

****

LORELAI: So what's up?

****

SOOKIE: [_Excitedly_] Did I ever tell you that Jackson's mother is a real estate buff?

****

LORELAI: No…

****

SOOKIE: She is. She spends her weekends scouring the coast for, you know, old houses with character and—

****

LORELAI: Sookie, _Michel_ is running the desk. Did you drag me out of viewing distance to talk about Jackson's mother's real estate addiction?

****

SOOKIE: Well, the point is, she was in Harrington this morning, and she called me.

****

LORELAI: That's the point.

****

SOOKIE: That's the point.

****

LORELAI: I don't follow.

****

SOOKIE: She found us an inn, Lorelai!

****

LORELAI: What?

****

SOOKIE: She called me to tell me that she had found the _perfect_ location for our inn, our dream inn!

****

LORELAI: No!

****

SOOKIE: Yes! And she said she'd even help us pay.

****

LORELAI: [_Beaming_] Sookie, that's incredible! Really?

****

SOOKIE: Really.

****

LORELAI: What's the catch?

****

SOOKIE: There isn't one, really. I mean, we have to look at it today or it'll sell…but she said it's perfect, Lorelai.

****

LORELAI: Oh my God! [_She and SOOKIE hug_] I can't believe it.

****

SOOKIE: Neither can I. Our dream!

****

LORELAI: We might actually achieve it in this lifetime.

****

SOOKIE: She said ten bedrooms, four baths, a living room, a huge kitchen—

****

LORELAI: It _is_ perfect.

****

SOOKIE: [_Singing_] We're gonna open an inn, we're gonna open an inn!

****

LORELAI: I have to call Rory.

****

SOOKIE: I have to make sure this kitchen isn't burning down.

[_The two start to leave, but rush back together and hug. "Sweetness" by Jimmy Eat World plays in the background_]

****

LORELAI: This is so amazing.

****

SOOKIE: I know!

[_They giggle_] 

[_Int. art museum. GRAYER surreptitiously takes a piece of candy out of his pocket and pops it into his mouth. RORY'S cell rings_]

****

RORY: [_On phone_] Hello?

[_RORY-LORELAI intercut_]

****

LORELAI: Hey! How's it going?

****

RORY: Great.

****

LORELAI: Good. Okay, are you sitting?

****

RORY: No.

****

LORELAI: You should.

****

RORY: Really?

****

LORELAI: No, I just wanted to say that.

****

RORY: What's going on?

****

LORELAI: So, you know that inn Sookie and I have been toying with forever?

****

RORY: [_Joking_] No.

****

LORELAI: It might happen, babe.

****

RORY: No!

****

LORELAI: Yes! Sookie's mother-in-law found some property. She says it's perfect. We're going to look at it this afternoon.

****

RORY: Mom! That's so cool!

****

LORELAI: Isn't it?

****

RORY: How did she find a piece of property you didn't know about?

****

LORELAI: It was in Harrington.

****

RORY: You just needed to expand.

****

LORELAI: Anyway, we're going to go out there this afternoon, so if you need me, it's the cell.

****

RORY: Okay. Have fun.

****

LORELAI: You too, hon.

[_RORY hangs the cell phone up, bites her lip, and smiles_]

[_Int. property in Harrington. LORELAI and SOOKIE are looking at the potential inn_]

****

REALTOR: Now, it looks a little run-down, but—

****

SOOKIE: We'll take it.

****

REALTOR: Excuse me?

****

SOOKIE: We'll take it.

****

LORELAI: Sook, hold on a sec. [_To the REALTOR_] Can we have a minute?

****

REALTOR: Absolutely. Take your time.

****

LORELAI: Thanks. [_To SOOKIE_] Sookie, we can't rush into this.

****

SOOKIE: Lorelai! This is perfect.

****

LORELAI: It needs a lot of work.

****

SOOKIE: Not that much.

****

LORELAI: Enough that it's a consideration.

****

SOOKIE: Come on, if we don't buy it, someone will.

****

LORELAI: And _they'll_ be spending a hundred thousand in construction.

****

SOOKIE: This is our chance, Lorelai. Who know when another opportunity will come along?

****

LORELAI: I just think we should think about this.

****

SOOKIE: Do you really want to open an inn, Lorelai?

****

LORELAI: Of course.

****

SOOKIE: Because you sound like you don't.

****

LORELAI: I do. I'm just trying not to rush into anything and regret it later.

****

SOOKIE: What we'll regret is not buying this property. Come on, Lorelai. Mia's selling the Independence. The timing is right.

****

LORELAI: This isn't something we can rush into in one day, Sookie. It needs time and consideration and planning.

****

SOOKIE: We don't have time for consideration or planning. Someone else is going to buy it and we're going to end up running the place out of my house.

****

LORELAI: We just need to sit down and think finances.

****

SOOKIE: Remember how excited you were when I first told you?

****

LORELAI: I hadn't seen it.

****

SOOKIE: What were you expecting?

****

LORELAI: I don't know. I just…I momentarily forgot that construction costs a ton of money.

****

SOOKIE: It would cost a ton anywhere else, too.

****

LORELAI: Just…just…give me a minute, okay?

****

SOOKIE: Okay, but make it a fast one. 

[_"Circle Games," by Joni Mitchell starts playing. LORELAI walks all throughout the inn, touching the woodwork, looking out the window. There is a tiny, ramshackle guest house viewable through one of the windows. LORELAI smiles wistfully and continues her walk. She finds SOOKIE clattering around in the kitchen_]

****

LORELAI: Let's do it.

****

SOOKIE: [_Squeals_] Ooh! We won't regret this.

[_LORELAI and SOOKIE hug. They find the REALTOR on the porch_]

****

LORELAI: We'll take it.

****

REALTOR: Wonderful! [_She digs in her briefcase_] There's some paperwork, lots of signing, you know. [_She takes out a pen. LORELAI and SOOKIE read through the papers together_] So, what are you going to do with the place?

[_LORELAI and SOOKIE look at each other and smile_]

****

LORELAI: We're opening an inn.

[_Int. Luke's Diner. LUKE comes upstairs and finds JESS reading while listening to music. He takes the headphones off_]

****

LUKE: Can't you hear anything?

****

JESS: Nope.

****

LUKE: I need you to come down.

****

JESS: Okay.

****

LUKE: And not in half and hour—now.

****

JESS: I got it.

****

LUKE: Sometimes I doubt that.

****

JESS: A little hostile aren't we?

****

LUKE: Shut up.

****

JESS: [_Knowingly_] Why would you be so prickly?

****

LUKE: My horoscope sucked.

****

JESS: Now I sit here and inventory your life…there's the diner…there's me…and there's Lorelai.

****

LUKE: I mean it, Jess, shut the hell up.

****

JESS: The diner's fine…I'm my usual sunshine-y self…which leaves just one third unaccounted for.

****

LUKE: Lorelai does not constitute one third of my life.

****

JESS: You're right. More like a half.

****

LUKE: Hardly an eighth—why the hell am I debating this with you?

****

JESS: You want to.

****

LUKE: Ridiculous.

****

JESS: So you're in a funk because Lorelai's dating someone.

****

LUKE: I'm not in a funk, and I don't care.

****

JESS: No?

****

LUKE: No.

****

JESS: This little mood started the day she and Suit came in here.

****

LUKE: There is no mood!

****

JESS: There's a mood. A big one. Even Rory noticed.

****

LUKE: Oh yeah?

****

JESS: The pie.

****

LUKE: For God's sake.

****

JESS: Rory figured it out.

****

LUKE: She didn't figure anything out. There's nothing _to_ figure out.

****

JESS: So you're just going to let her date this guy?

****

LUKE: Oh, since I have control over her mind.

****

JESS: He's taking Rory out for the day today.

****

LUKE: So? Afraid he's going to steal her away from your charms?

****

JESS: So it means that he and Lorelai are serious.

****

LUKE: I don't care.

****

JESS: Bull. You've been _pining_ for Lorelai—

****

LUKE: I don't pine!

****

JESS: Ever since I can remember and definitely before and you can't even tell her how you feel.

****

LUKE: You are so out of line here.

****

JESS: Christ, someone needed to say it.

****

LUKE: Jess, shut up.

****

JESS: If you never tell her how you feel, she's gonna end up marrying some guy and you'll _pine_ for your entire life.

****

LUKE: Just get downstairs.

****

JESS: Hey, don't follow my advice. But don't say I didn't say something.

****

LUKE: Out!

[_JESS leaves. LUKE leans on the table and hangs his head as "Needle in the Hay" by Elliot Smith plays_]

[_Fourth commercial break_]

[_Int. Luke's Diner. LUKE is behind the counter when LORELAI walks in, grinning_]

****

LUKE: You want coffee?

****

LORELAI: You should sit down.

****

LUKE: These shoes are guaranteed to hold me up. You want coffee or what?

****

LORELAI: I have news!

****

LUKE: [_Unenthusiastically_] Great.

****

LORELAI: Aw, come on Luke, don't you want to hear?

****

LUKE: I just want to hear whether or not you want your damn coffee.

****

LORELAI: [_Hurt_] Wow. Fine. Coffee—to go, please.

****

LUKE: Great. [_He pours her a cup and slams it down_] Buck thirty.

****

LORELAI: What's with the mood, Rochester?

****

LUKE: There's no mood.

****

LORELAI: There's definitely a mood. There's been a mood for a while now, and I'd like to know what caused it. I haven't gone off on Jess lately.

****

LUKE: You should apply for sainthood.

****

LORELAI: What did I do?

****

LUKE: You know what? Nothing. You didn't do _anything_.

****

LORELAI: Did Rachel call or something?

****

LUKE: No one called.

****

LORELAI: So _that's_ the reason.

[_LUKE slams down his rag and marches upstairs. LORELAI looks around the diner, confused. JESS just raises his eyebrows. LORELAI goes upstairs_]

****

LORELAI: [_Calling through the door_] Luke? 

****

LUKE: [_Opens the door_] So what, now you can't give me peace in my own house?

****

LORELAI: I just came up to see what was wrong.

****

LUKE: Nothing. Now go.

****

LORELAI: You opened the door. On some level, you wanted to see me.

****

LUKE: Got that right.

****

LORELAI: What?

****

LUKE: You just never picked up on it before.

****

LORELAI: [_Confused_] Luke—what?

****

LUKE: You never even noticed. Was it because you didn't want to notice?

****

LORELAI: Notice what?

****

LUKE: You think I—I fix your inn because I _want_ to? Is that it, Lorelai?

****

LORELAI: I could pay you if you—

****

LUKE: You think I just _enjoy_ spending my Saturday mornings on your roof?

****

LORELAI: I thought—

****

LUKE: You think I get thrills out of looking for your lost chick? Or painting my own diner? Or making disgusting Santa burgers?

****

LORELAI: [_Getting it_] Oh, Luke.

****

LUKE: Now, the least you could do is _thank_ me. But I didn't even need that.

****

LORELAI: Luke, I—

****

LUKE: I mean, Jesus, Lorelai. After all these years, I thought you _might_ get the hint. I thought it _might_ dawn on you, but I've finally got the answer.

****

LORELAI: Luke, that's—

****

LUKE: You just like having a reserve guy.

****

LORELAI: What?!

****

LUKE: I would always be there waiting for you if it didn't work out with Max or Chris or Grayer. I was your safety net.

****

LORELAI: You're my friend.

****

LUKE: That's your motto, isn't it, Lorelai? But really, in the back of your mind, you're thinking, "Well, if mystery man #4 falls through the cracks, at least I'll always have Luke."

****

LORELAI: That is not true.

****

LUKE: No, Lorelai?

****

LORELAI: No.

****

LUKE: Then how come you got jealous over Rachel?

****

LORELAI: I did not get jealous! I tried to convince you to let her stay.

****

LUKE: I saw your face.

****

LORELAI: You see it everyday.

****

LUKE: And on those days, it looked jealous.

****

LORELAI: What do you want me to say, Luke?

****

LUKE: I want you to say that you were stringing me along all these years.

****

LORELAI: That's not the truth.

****

LUKE: It's the truth, Lorelai. You know it.

****

LORELAI: Luke, please.

****

LUKE: Please what? Fix your refrigerator tomorrow? 

****

LORELAI: You can't possibly believe this.

****

LUKE: I didn't want to.

****

LORELAI: Then don't!

****

LUKE: It's not that easy.

[_Pause_]

****

LUKE: Do you have feelings for me…at all?

****

LORELAI: [_Quietly_] Yes.

****

LUKE: [_Sighs_] Lorelai…

****

LORELAI: I'm so sorry, Luke.

****

LUKE: We can…if you want to…I mean…

****

LORELAI: [_Smiles sadly_] I want to, Luke. I just—

****

LUKE: Can't.

****

LORELAI: Luke, you deserve someone amazing. Someone who's a lot better at relationships than I am.

****

LUKE: Look, fine. Just…know that if you break up with Grayer…I won't be here waiting.

****

LORELAI: Okay. That's—that's fair.

****

LUKE: Okay.

****

LORELAI: I should go.

****

LUKE: Right.

[_LORELAI looks like she's going to say something, but just nods and turns away from the door. "Hannah Hold On" by The Get-Up Kids starts playing. LUKE watches her walk down a couple stairs, then shuts the door and leans against it. LORELAI runs down the stairs and out the door, trying not to cry_]

[_Int. Gilmore house. RORY and GRAYER are pulling up in the drive_]

****

GRAYER: I'll never understand art.

****

RORY: I think the plain canvas with the spatterings of something that wasn't paint was the weirdest.

****

GRAYER: The Spanish should be proud.

****

RORY: Absolutely.

[_Pause_]

****

RORY: Thanks for taking me out.

****

GRAYER: It was my pleasure. I can see why your mother brags so much.

****

RORY: Well, I'll probably see you soon.

****

GRAYER: I imagine.

[_They smile at each other and RORY climbs out. He sees that she gets in and drives away_]

[_Cut to RORY entering the house_]

****

RORY: Mom? Mom? Are you home?

[_She walks into the living room and finds LORELAI crying on the couch_]

****

RORY: Mom?

[_RORY sits next to LORELAI and strokes her hair_]

****

RORY: What happened?

[_LORELAI shakes her head_]

****

LORELAI: Don't be like me.

****

RORY: What?

****

LORELAI: Luke.

****

RORY: Mom, are you okay?

****

LORELAI: Rory, did I string Luke along?

[_RORY is silent_]

****

LORELAI: Oh, God.

****

RORY: You didn't do it on purpose.

****

LORELAI: I hurt him so much.

****

RORY: Did you guys have a fight?

****

LORELAI: I don't want to talk about it.

****

RORY: Okay. Do you want me to run and get ice cream?

****

LORELAI: And some banana bread.

****

RORY: [_Kisses her mom's head_] Okay. I'll be right back.

****

LORELAI: I love you, kid.

****

RORY: I love you too, Mom.

[_LORELAI lays on the couch as a tear drips down her face_]

[_Int. Doose's. RORY is walking down an aisle with a shopping basket on her arm. She rounds the corner and literally runs into DEAN_]

****

DEAN: Oh, ah, sorry.

****

RORY: No, it was my fault. I have poor corner-turning skills. The driver's ed teacher told me so. He said I went too fast around the corners and that I should wait until the wheels are straight to accelerate—

****

DEAN: Hey, no injuries here.

****

RORY: Right, that's a plus.

[_Pause_]

****

RORY: I should get my mom's ice cream.

****

DEAN: Something wrong?

****

RORY: What?

****

DEAN: Is something wrong with your mom?

****

RORY: Why?

****

DEAN: Ice cream.

****

RORY: Oh, she and Luke had a fight.

****

DEAN: Oh.

****

RORY: Yeah, oh.

[_Pause_]

****

DEAN: How's…Jess?

****

RORY: He's fine. How's Sarah?

****

DEAN: She's fine.

****

RORY: Oh, good. Good. [_She nods_]

****

DEAN: This is weird.

****

RORY: Yeah.

[_Pause_]

****

RORY: Ice cream.

****

DEAN: Right. See you…around.

****

RORY: Yeah. [_She smiles forcedly_]

[_RORY turns the corner. DEAN pauses for a moment, then goes back to stocking_]

[_Cut to RORY in the back by the ice cream. She ponders for a while, wondering what flavor to get. When she turns, she sees LUKE by the produce. She has to walk past him to get to the check out_]

****

LUKE: Oh, hey, Rory.

****

RORY: Hi, Luke.

****

LUKE: Ice cream.

****

RORY: A Gilmore staple. It's pretty much it's own food pyramid. We can divide it into categories and subcategories.

****

LUKE: Ah.

****

RORY: Celery.

****

LUKE: Part of the real food pyramid.

****

RORY: Right, healthy food.

[_Pause_]

****

RORY: Mom's waiting.

****

LUKE: Oh. Uh, see you around.

****

RORY: Probably tomorrow.

****

LUKE: Right, probably tomorrow.

[_LUKE goes back to selecting produce, visibly shaken_]

[_Int. Gilmore house. RORY enters with the requested items. LORELAI is still lying on the couch_]

****

RORY: I'm back.

****

LORELAI: What flavor?

****

RORY: Chunky Monkey.

****

LORELAI: Good choice.

****

RORY: Yeah.

****

LORELAI: So, that was a long trip.

****

RORY: Yeah, I ran into Dean, and then there was the long debate between Cherry Garcia and Chunky Monkey.

****

LORELAI: Oh.

****

RORY: I'm going to get a spoon.

****

LORELAI: Thanks.

[_RORY exits. LORELAI picks up the carton and opens it. RORY returns with the spoon_]

****

RORY: Here you go.

[_LORELAI eats for a minute_]

****

LORELAI: So, we took the inn.

****

RORY: No!

****

LORELAI: Yeah, it's ours.

****

RORY: You just…bought it?

****

LORELAI: Sookie's mother-in-law pitched in.

****

RORY: That was nice.

****

LORELAI: It's only the beginning. Construction in going to cost us a fortune.

****

RORY: [_Without thinking_] Maybe Luke would help with some of it.

[_Silence_]

****

RORY: Sorry.

****

LORELAI: No, no big deal.

****

RORY: Are we still going to go to Luke's?

****

LORELAI: Sure we are.

****

RORY: Maybe I could ask Jess to serve us for a while.

****

LORELAI: I'm not going to avoid him. There's…no reason to.

****

RORY: Oh. Okay.

[_Pause_]

****

LORELAI: Would you ask him?

****

RORY: Next time I see him.

****

LORELAI: Thanks.

[_LORELAI takes another big bite of ice cream. RORY digs out the banana bread and takes a bite_]

****

LORELAI: So, how did your day with Grayer go?

****

RORY: Fine.

****

LORELAI: Just fine?

****

RORY: Yeah. Nothing too eventful. We ate. We made fun of modern art. We came home.

****

LORELAI: Sounds fun.

****

RORY: It was.

****

LORELAI: So, you like him?

****

RORY: Yeah.

****

LORELAI: Good.

[_They lapse into silence_]

****

RORY: Yeah. Good.

[_LORELAI takes another bite of ice cream. RORY chews more bread_]

[_Int. bridge. It's late at night. RORY walks up to JESS, who's reading. "The Look of Love" by Diana Krall plays in the background_]

****

JESS: Hey.

[_RORY doesn't reply. She just walks up and kisses him. JESS is so surprised, he drops his book in the lake and wraps his arms around her_]

****

RORY: Hi.

****

JESS: Uh, hi. What was that for?

****

RORY: That was hello.

****

JESS: That's the new international symbol for hello?

****

RORY: Yep. Next time you see Taylor…

****

JESS: Didn't he tell you about last week in his stock room?

****

RORY: [_Laughs_] Oh, you were the one who answered his personal ad.

****

JESS: What can I say? Cardigans turn me on.

****

RORY: I'll keep that in mind.

[_Their smiles fade slowly as they kiss again_]

****

JESS: What happened to the cap on kissing?

****

RORY: I changed my mind.

****

JESS: Good. Even though you made me drop my book in the lake.

[_RORY smiles and presses against his side. He puts his arm around her shoulders_]

****

RORY: Luke and Mom had a fight.

****

JESS: Oh?

****

RORY: Yeah. She's really upset.

****

JESS: Am I on her bad side again?

****

RORY: I don't think it was about you.

****

JESS: Ah.

****

RORY: What?

****

JESS: What?

****

RORY: That was a knowing "ah."

****

JESS: I drew my own conclusions.

****

RORY: And what were they?

****

JESS: Luke finally came clean and Lorelai couldn't handle it.

****

RORY: How would you know?

****

JESS: I have supernatural powers. [_He kisses her cheek_]

****

RORY: Jess?

****

JESS: Yes?

****

RORY: Sorry about the other night.

****

JESS: No big deal.

****

RORY: Really?

****

JESS: Really.

****

RORY: Okay. [_She leans her head on his shoulder_] I ran into Dean at the market.

****

JESS: A likely location.

****

RORY: It was weird.

****

JESS: It's supposed to be.

****

RORY: Yeah?

****

JESS: Yeah.

****

RORY: Good.

****

JESS: Good?

****

RORY: I didn't do anything wrong.

****

JESS: [_Chuckles_] Oh, for once.

****

RORY: Hey. [_She smiles and kisses his jaw_]

****

JESS: So how was your day with Suit?

****

RORY: His name's Grayer.

****

JESS: He looks like a Suit.

****

RORY: It was fine.

****

JESS: Good.

[_Pause_]

****

JESS: It's late.

****

RORY: I know.

[_The camera slowly zooms out on them sitting together on the bridge_]

[_Int. Gilmore house. Early morning. "The Long Day is Over" by Norah Jones plays. LORELAI creeps down the stairs and into RORY'S room. She shoves RORY aside in bed and lays down_]

****

RORY: [_Mumbling_] Mom.

****

LORELAI: Hey.

****

RORY: What're you doing?

****

LORELAI: Couldn't sleep.

****

RORY: Still Luke?

****

LORELAI: Did I make a mistake?

****

RORY: It'll work out.

****

LORELAI: Rory, answer me.

****

RORY: Well, what exactly did he say?

****

LORELAI: He said… [_Trails off_]

****

RORY: Go back to sleep, Mom.

[_LORELAI snuggles next to RORY and shuts her eyes. RORY curls into her mom_]

[_Int. Luke's Diner. LUKE is awake, staring at the ceiling. JESS comes in_]

****

JESS: Aren't you supposed to be up?

[_LUKE says nothing_]

****

JESS: The people are going to start coming. It's Sunday morning.

[_LUKE says nothing_]

****

JESS: I guess I'll just open up, then.

[_LUKE rolls over and stares out the window_]

[_Int. Gilmore house. RORY'S bedroom. She and LORELAI are still sleeping as the sun comes up_]

[_End of episode_]

  
  



	7. Carolina on my Mind

****

"Carolina on my Mind"

****

Author: columbiachica (kat2005)

****

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the words.

****

Author's Note: This is the seventh in a series. Some of it might not make sense without having read the previous parts. Dedicated to **Kate** for all her attempts at ego-bloating and **emrie**for being an awesome writer and even cooler person.

****

Featured Music:

__

"Rockaway Beach," The Ramones

"Here Comes Your Man," The Pixies

ANNOUNCER: Previously on _Gilmore Girls_…

[_Cut to RORY and LANE_]

****

LANE: Pot_at_o, po_ta_to. "When we get back, our school is having prom. I know that your mother hates me and everything, but I was hoping you'd be able to convince her to let you come."

****

RORY: Oh, Lane!

****

LANE: I'll never convince her.

[_Cut to RORY and LORELAI_]

****

LORELAI: Tell me the truth, though. Are you thinking about having sex with Jess?

****

RORY: No.

****

LORELAI: Okay.

[_Cut to RORY and JESS_]

****

JESS: That's what this is about.

****

RORY: I repeat, what?

****

JESS: Sex. I should have known.

****

RORY: That is not what this is about.

[_Cut to_ _LORELAI and GRAYER_]

****

GRAYER: Lorelai, it's just an afternoon together.

****

LORELAI: I know. I just don't want her to get all attached and then someday—for some reason or another—we break up and she's the one who's bereft.

****

GRAYER: Tell you what. If we break up, I'll still be Rory's friend, if she wants me to be.

****

LORELAI: That's an awfully big promise to make.

****

GRAYER: I always keep my promises.

[_Cut to LORELAI and SOOKIE_]

****

LORELAI: We'll take it.

****

REALTOR: Wonderful! [_She digs in her briefcase_] There's some paperwork, lots of signing, you know. [_She takes out a pen. LORELAI and SOOKIE read through the papers together_] So, what are you going to do with the place?

[_LORELAI and SOOKIE look at each other and smile_]

****

LORELAI: We're opening an inn.

[_La-la's start_]

[_Cut to LORELAI and LUKE_]

****

LORELAI: I'm so sorry, Luke.

****

LUKE: We can…if you want to…I mean…

****

LORELAI: [_Smiles sadly_] I want to, Luke. I just—

****

LUKE: Can't.

****

LORELAI: Luke, you deserve someone amazing. Someone who's a lot better at relationships than I am.

****

LUKE: Look, fine. Just…know that if you break up with Grayer…I won't be here waiting.

****

LORELAI: Okay. That's—that's fair.

****

LUKE: Okay.

****

LORELAI: I should go.

****

LUKE: Right.

[_LORELAI looks like she's going to say something, but just nods and turns away from the door. "Hannah Hold On" by The Get-Up Kids starts playing. LUKE watches her walk down a couple stairs, then shuts the door and leans against it. LORELAI runs down the stairs and out the door, trying not to cry_]

[_Int. Miss Patty's. TAYLOR is at the podium, and the rest of the town sits in town meeting configuration_]

****

TAYLOR: As the president of the Stars Hollow Festival Committee—

****

LUKE: Another one of your one-member clubs.

****

TAYLOR: [_Glares at LUKE_] As the president of the Stars Hollow Festival Committee, I have proposed that we hold the Thanksgiving Horn of Plenty in the town square.

****

LUKE: We do that every year, Taylor.

****

TAYLOR: Things must be made official.

****

LUKE: Boy, that vote must have been tough. How did you count all the ballots? And the hanging chads must have been nightmares.

****

TAYLOR: As I was saying, the Horn of Plenty will once again reside in the town square, as well as the turkey-eating contest and since we have been blessed with snow this year—

****

BABETTE: Try cursed, honey.

****

MOREY: Shoveling is un-cool.

****

TAYLOR: [_Louder_] And since we have been blessed with snow this year, there has been a tie between holding a turkey-sculpting contest and a pilgrims vs. Indians snowball fight.

****

LUKE: I think the politically correct of the nation have just combusted.

****

TAYLOR: Lucas, no one needs your input.

****

LUKE: More than they need yours. And how can there be a tie? You and you are fighting to see whether or not we should have an asinine turkey-defacing contest or a politically incorrect battle with lame-o ammunition?

****

TAYLOR: Luke, sit down.

****

LUKE: I am sitting.

****

TAYLOR: Stay sitting and stay _quiet_.

****

KIRK: There are liability issues with the snowball fight. Don't want to get that stuff in your eye.

****

LUKE: It's _water_.

****

KIRK: Au contraire, Luke, it is _frozen_ water. Much more dangerous than your average tap water.

****

TAYLOR: But, is the turkey-sculpting contest too reminiscent of the winter snowman-sculpting contest?

****

KIRK: Different subject.

****

MISS PATTY: How about a turkey-cooking contest?

****

TAYLOR: We already have a turkey-eating contest.

[_Zoom in on RORY and LORELAI in the back. The town meeting buzzes in the background. LORELAI is eating fries and giggling. RORY sits up and catches JESS' eye. He shakes his head. RORY giggles. LORELAI looks where RORY is looking and sees the two completely engrossed in one another. She sighs and stuffs another fry in her mouth_]

****

TAYLOR: Paintball?

****

KIRK: Much less dangerous than your average snowball.

****

LUKE: Kirk, people have had more damage from paintballs in the past five years than from snowballs in the past 2,000 years.

****

KIRK: That's because no one reports snowball incidents.

****

LUKE: Is that so?

****

KIRK: I was brave enough to do so at age eleven. I was hit in the eye with a urine-saturated snowball.

[_LORELAI snorts_]

****

KIRK: See? People make fun of you.

****

LUKE: That might just be _you_, Kirk.

****

KIRK: And paintball will color the surrounding snow attractive colors.

****

TAYLOR: I don't know I feel about arming the citizens of Stars Hollow with weaponry.

****

KIRK: There's weaponry lying all over town, Taylor. Just look under your feet.

****

LORELAI: Or under a dog's leg.

****

TAYLOR: Well, this will have to go through another vote at the Stars Hollow Festival Committee.

****

LUKE: Good idea. See if you can get a three-way tie.

****

TAYLOR: Now, other than the turkey-eating and proposed turkey-sculpting, there is also a scheduled performance by Miss Patty's third-grade dance class.

****

MISS PATTY: We're doing a condensed _Swan Lake_.

****

TAYLOR: And now, we must consider music.

[_LANE sits up straighter_]

****

TAYLOR: I found out that my favorite barbershop quartet from Woodsboro is busy next weekend, but I am fully open to suggestions after the meeting. 

****

MISS PATTY: I could sing, Taylor.

****

TAYLOR: We will consider that at the supplementary meeting, being held tomorrow at six. I now adjourn this meeting.

[_RORY and LORELAI stand. RORY catches LANE'S eye; LANE smiles and bobs her head toward TAYLOR. RORY nods. LORELAI accidentally meets LUKE'S eyes across the room; they quickly look away_]

****

LORELAI: [_Puts her arm around RORY'S shoulders_] Home?

****

RORY: I've had enough entertainment for one evening.

[_They walk out down the street_]

[_Opening credits_]

[_First commercial break_]

[_Int. Gilmore house. RORY is sitting on the couch studying when the phone rings_]

****

RORY: Hello?

****

PARIS: Help.

****

RORY: Paris?

****

PARIS: I need help.

****

RORY: I gathered that.

****

PARIS: I mean, I gave him my number figuring that he'd use it as a coaster and never even remember what I looked like or even that I was a girl, but then he just called and now—

****

RORY: Who?

****

PARIS: Joel!

****

RORY: Joel? From Washington?

****

PARIS: Yes, yes, Joel from Washington.

****

RORY: You gave him your number.

****

PARIS: Yes, Poirot, now help me.

****

RORY: Okay.

****

PARIS: Great. I'm getting off the Interstate now.

****

RORY: O—[_PARIS hangs up_] –kay.

[_Cut to RORY answering the door_]

****

RORY: Hey.

****

PARIS: Hey. [_She steps past RORY and into the living room_] Okay, here it is. [_She spreads out her wardrobe on the sofa_]

****

RORY: It's certainly improved.

****

PARIS: I bought some stuff in Washington.

****

RORY: You rebel. Okay, how about this one? [_She holds up a simple black dress_]

****

PARIS: Isn't it kind of…plain?

****

RORY: Well, a little, but plain can be good.

****

PARIS: I guess.

****

RORY: Where is he taking you?

****

PARIS: L'Chateau Bleu.

****

RORY: Nice.

****

PARIS: Yeah. [_They both think for a moment_] So, the black?

****

RORY: Yeah. And it's fancy, so you should wear your hair up.

****

PARIS: Right. Fancy equals up-hair.

****

RORY: Exactly.

****

PARIS: What do I do?

****

RORY: What?

****

PARIS: I mean, how do I act?

****

RORY: Well, like you always act, I guess. I mean, don't make him cry or anything, but other than that…

****

PARIS: But surely there have to be some modifications made for the dating situation.

****

RORY: Well, I think Joel liked you because of how you were when you were being yourself.

****

PARIS: So, I just…

****

RORY: Just talk to him like you did in Washington.

****

PARIS: What if he kisses me?

****

RORY: You've been kissed before. You know what to do.

****

PARIS: Not a real kiss.

****

RORY: Just trust me, you'll be fine. You'll spend some time with him, and things will fall into place.

****

PARIS: This is weird.

****

RORY: Dating?

****

PARIS: Yeah. It's ridiculously complicated. Really, all human beings are trying to do is find a mate to spawn with, but there are all these absurd emotions and games involved. Why can't we be more like mayflies?

****

RORY: Mate and die, all in a day? 

****

PARIS: No. They have one mission when seeking out another fly: mate. Human beings have basically the same agenda, but we feel the need to make it so intricate.

****

RORY: I think you're just nervous.

****

PARIS: My theory is sound.

****

RORY: Your theory is whacked. Now go home so he can pick you up.

****

PARIS: Right. 

****

RORY: And Paris?

****

PARIS: Yeah?

****

RORY: Don't tell him your mayfly theory.

****

PARIS: Noted.

[_Int. Independence Inn. SOOKIE and LORELAI are decorating the dining room_]

****

LORELAI: I called some contractors.

****

SOOKIE: Ooh!

****

LORELAI: Don't sound so excited.

****

SOOKIE: What, what?

****

LORELAI: Well, they're saying a hundred.

****

SOOKIE: Thousand?

****

LORELAI: Yes, a hundred _thousand_.

****

SOOKIE: Well…we'll just…need some loans.

****

LORELAI: Sook, I don't think the loans are gonna come pouring in.

****

SOOKIE: Did you call around?

****

LORELAI: I think they still remember me from my house fiasco.

****

SOOKIE: Good!

****

LORELAI: Good?

****

SOOKIE: You've established a personal relationship with the bankers. I read that's what you're supposed to do.

****

LORELAI: I don't think this is quite what they're talking about, Sookie. [_LORELAI starts putting paper flowers into vases on the tables. SOOKIE follows her_]

****

SOOKIE: We could ask your parents.

****

LORELAI: No way.

****

SOOKIE: It's an option.

****

LORELAI: It's a last option. In fact, it's so far back in the line, it's not even considered an option.

****

SOOKIE: Lorelai, come on. We need this construction.

****

LORELAI: My parents helped me out with Rory's school and my house. I won't let them help anymore. [_LORELAI practically throws another flower in_] It's all part of their plan. Soon, I'll be so indebted to them that I'll have to kiss their feet.

****

SOOKIE: Maybe they'll want to help. Owning your own inn is a big deal.

****

LORELAI: Oh, of course they'll want to help. It's all part of the "kiss my feet" plan.

****

SOOKIE: I think you're being a little stubborn.

****

LORELAI: Look, let's just…explore every other possible option first. Maybe we could get some people to pitch in.

****

SOOKIE: Ooh, like Luke.

****

LORELAI: [_Tersely_] Not Luke.

****

SOOKIE: Why not? I'm sure he would, what with that whole being-in-love-with-you thing.

****

LORELAI: Not Luke, okay?! [_LORELAI tosses the flowers down on a random table and storms out of the room_]

[_Int. Gilmore house. RORY is back on the couch, studying, when LORELAI comes through the door, looking stressed_]

****

RORY: Hey, Mom.

****

LORELAI: Hey, hon. [_She sits next to RORY on the couch_] How goes the studying?

****

RORY: [_Sighs_] I think if I have to read about Korea for one more second, I'll burst.

****

LORELAI: Guess you know how Lane feels, then.

****

RORY: Do I ever.

****

LORELAI: You meeting Jess tonight?

****

RORY: Yeah, nine-ish.

****

LORELAI: Okay.

****

RORY: Don't you have a date with Grayer?

****

LORELAI: What? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

****

RORY: You didn't remember.

****

LORELAI: I did.

****

RORY: I can't believe you didn't remember. You were so excited because Grandma and Grandpa are out of town and you could schedule a date on a Friday night.

****

LORELAI: I remembered!

****

RORY: This Luke thing really bothers you.

****

LORELAI: I just can't believe he didn't tell me earlier.

****

RORY: Or maybe you could have told him.

****

LORELAI: I don't have feelings…like _that_…for Luke.

****

RORY: Yeah, right.

****

LORELAI: I don't!

****

RORY: You do so.

****

LORELAI: Rory.

****

RORY: Lorelai.

****

LORELAI: Luke and I just aren't like that.

****

RORY: But you could be.

****

LORELAI: Okay, no. Hypothetically, I didn't throw his heart in the gutter and stomp on it for good measure. Even if that hadn't happened, Luke and I aren't right for each other.

****

RORY: Why not?

****

LORELAI: Some people just aren't romantically compatible.

****

RORY: That's so vague.

****

LORELAI: It's true.

****

RORY: What specifically makes you two incompatible?

****

LORELAI: He's a health nut…a tea drinker…an eater of soy.

****

RORY: So?

****

LORELAI: That means buying twice as much food…healthy crap for him and my steady supply of junk food.

****

RORY: Big deal.

****

LORELAI: Rory, I don't want to talk about this.

****

RORY: Whatever. [_She looks at her watch_] You should start getting ready.

****

LORELAI: Right. [_She stands and starts walking toward the stairs_] Rory?

****

RORY: Yeah?

****

LORELAI: You don't think I made a mistake, do you?

****

RORY: [_Pause_] No, Mom.

****

LORELAI: [_Nods_] Right.

****

RORY: I mean, it is twice the food.

****

LORELAI: And who really wants soy and tofu sitting in their fridge?

****

RORY: No one.

****

LORELAI: [_With fake conviction_] That's right. [_Pause_] Blue skirt or black sparkly dress?

****

RORY: Where are you going?

****

LORELAI: Movies.

****

RORY: Jeans.

****

LORELAI: But I wanna get dressed up.

****

RORY: Fine, get dressed up. Then feel ridiculous when he shows up in jeans and you're sitting in a theater full of people wearing the most casual clothing they could find.

****

LORELAI: I will.

****

RORY: Black sparkly dress.

****

LORELAI: With curly hair!

****

RORY: And the chunky heels.

****

LORELAI: [_Singing_] I feel pretty…oh so pretty…

****

RORY: [_In a funny accent_] Miss America! Speech! Speech!

****

LORELAI: [_Going up the stairs_] I feel pretty…oh so pretty…

[_RORY shakes her head and goes back to her book_]

[_Int. Gilmore House. Twenty minutes later. The doorbell rings_]

****

LORELAI: Get it!

****

RORY: On my way! [_Opens the door_] Hi, Grayer.

****

GRAYER: Hey, Rory. How are you?

****

RORY: I'm fine. Come on in. Mom will be a minute…or two. She's trying to be Miss America.

****

GRAYER: Because she wants the tiara?

****

RORY: And the banner.

****

GRAYER: I see.

****

RORY: But she decided that the mascara running down her face was definitely the low point.

****

GRAYER: Well, and the thorns in the roses.

****

RORY: True.

****

GRAYER: So, what are you doing tonight?

****

RORY: Oh…well, Jess and I are hanging out.

****

GRAYER: That sounds fun.

****

RORY: Yeah.

****

GRAYER: Oh, shoot.

****

RORY: What?

****

GRAYER: I forgot to stop by Luke's for coffee.

****

RORY: Oh. Well, that's all right. Mom will probably want exotic Hartford coffee anyway.

****

GRAYER: I don't think so. She's pretty set on Luke's coffee.

****

RORY: Um, he forgot to add the nutmeg this morning. She was boycotting today.

****

GRAYER: Ah. Good thing I forgot, then.

****

RORY: Oh, definitely.

[_LORELAI enters in her black sparkly dress_]

****

LORELAI: Well?

****

RORY: The other people will be ashamed of their jeans.

****

GRAYER: And their looks.

****

RORY: They'll lose all self-esteem.

****

LORELAI: I just love getting dressed up.

****

RORY: Have fun.

****

LORELAI: We will. Midnight, okay sweets?

****

RORY: Okay, Mom.

****

GRAYER: Bye, Rory.

****

RORY: Bye.

[_Int. Gilmore porch. JESS jogs up the steps and knocks on the door_]

****

RORY: [_Opening the door_] Hey.

****

JESS: Hey. Ready?

****

RORY: Yeah, ready. [_She follows him down the porch steps and into the car_] Where are we going?

****

JESS: Hartford.

****

RORY: Oh. [_Pause_] Why?

****

JESS: Built is playing.

****

RORY: Really? Where?

****

JESS: This guy's basement.

****

RORY: [_Warily_] They're playing in some guy's basement?

****

JESS: Yeah.

****

RORY: Um, why?

****

JESS: Cheap.

****

RORY: Do we know this guy?

****

JESS: No.

****

RORY: Jess—

****

JESS: It'll be fun. Don't worry.

****

RORY: I'm worried.

****

JESS: You're gonna be fine.

****

RORY: Is there a cover charge?

****

JESS: Nope.

****

RORY: So it's like a party?

****

JESS: Sort of.

****

RORY: Great.

****

JESS: You're sounding less and less enthused by the second here.

****

RORY: It's just…I don't think my mom would want me going to something like this.

****

JESS: Fib.

****

RORY: I don't "fib," not to Lorelai.

****

JESS: Rory, it's not a big deal. We'll go, we'll listen, we'll come home—by midnight—all will be well.

****

RORY: Sure.

[_Pause_]

****

JESS: Your mom's out with…Grayer?

****

RORY: Yeah.

****

JESS: Huh.

****

RORY: They went to the movies…in Hartford.

****

JESS: Would you calm down?

****

RORY: I can't!

****

JESS: We can leave, you know. It's not like they'll lock us in there.

****

RORY: [_Pause_] There won't be fireworks, right?

****

JESS: [_Chuckles_] No. No pyrotechnics.

****

RORY: Well, that's a load off. Hey, you're coming tomorrow, right?

****

JESS: What's tomorrow?

****

RORY: The festival.

****

JESS: Rory…

****

RORY: Jess, come on.

****

JESS: I've been to enough of these town things to last me more than a lifetime.

****

RORY: Please? Mom's gonna be there with Grayer, Lane's going with her mom and secretly meeting Clyde…I don't want to go alone.

****

JESS: So hang out with your mom and Grayer.

****

RORY: It's their date.

****

JESS: So?

****

RORY: Please just come, Jess. 

****

JESS: [_Sighs_] What time?

****

RORY: Two.

****

JESS: [_Unenthusiastically_] Great.

****

RORY: Thank you.

****

JESS: You owe me.

****

RORY: I won't complain about the basement anymore.

****

JESS: And?

****

RORY: Isn't that enough?

****

JESS: You actually like this band. I don't think the suffering is equal.

****

RORY: I'll be there.

****

JESS: I gathered that.

****

RORY: So it's not like they're putting you up for auction.

****

JESS: There's an auction?

****

RORY: [_Smiles evilly_] Bid-A-Date.

****

JESS: [_Groans_] Dear God.

****

RORY: It's like Bid-A-Basket, but the participants actually get on stage. [_Giggles_] Miss Patty does it every year.

****

JESS: How much does she take?

****

RORY: Ten bucks.

****

JESS: Every year?

****

RORY: The same guy bids on her every year, always ten dollars.

****

JESS: This town is so screwed up.

[_Int. Hartford movie theater. LORELAI and GRAYER stand in the lobby, waiting to buy tickets_]

****

GRAYER: I think it's gonna sell out.

****

LORELAI: Nah.

****

GRAYER: Seriously. Look at that woman. You can tell that her posse sent her in there to buy six tickets, then immediately run into the theater and reserve seats while the rest clean out the concession stand.

****

LORELAI: You think that woman has a "posse"?

****

GRAYER: Yeah. A posse of middle-aged couples, all dressed in bad floral prints and un-starched shirts, all wanting to see _Spider_.

****

LORELAI: I don't think they want to see _Spider_. Remember the bad floral prints? They're totally going for _Piglet's Big Movie_.

****

GRAYER: They're middle-aged.

****

LORELAI: And trying to bring out their inner child.

****

GRAYER: So when we hit middle age, we're going to go to kids' movies and pretend like we're six?

****

LORELAI: Exactly.

****

GRAYER: I just hope I have some starch left.

****

LORELAI: And a bad tie.

****

GRAYER: Floral, if possible.

****

LORELAI: Knobby, like a bad couch.

****

GRAYER: Mmm-hmm. [_Pause_] So what happened between you and Luke?

****

LORELAI: Excuse me?

****

GRAYER: You didn't want Luke's coffee. Something clearly happened.

****

LORELAI: No.

****

GRAYER: Lorelai, I'm not trying to interrogate you or anything. There's always tension between you and Luke though, and something must have happened for you to avoid his coffee.

****

LORELAI: Nothing happened.

****

GRAYER: Even Rory's trying to save you from going in there.

****

LORELAI: What?

****

GRAYER: When I suggested it to her, she said he forgot to put the nutmeg in.

****

LORELAI: Grayer, nothing happened.

[_They are at the front of the line_]

****

GRAYER: Two for _Spider_, please.

****

CASHIER: I'm sorry, we're sold out.

[_LORELAI and GRAYER look over at the woman. She has been joined by many couples. They are going through the ticket-taking line_]

****

GRAYER: Uh, thanks.

[_He and LORELAI step away from the counter_]

****

GRAYER: So, what now?

****

LORELAI: [_Upset_] I don't know.

****

GRAYER: We could see a different movie.

****

LORELAI: Look, I'm kind of tired. I think I just want to…go home, veg out.

****

GRAYER: Oh.

****

LORELAI: Sorry.

****

GRAYER: Are you angry with me?

****

LORELAI: What? Of course not.

****

GRAYER: The mood changed drastically after the Luke conversation.

****

LORELAI: [_Sighs_] Look, Grayer, Luke and I are friends. We always have been, we always will be. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less. Nothing happened. Okay?

****

GRAYER: Okay.

****

LORELAI: Okay.

****

GRAYER: You still want to go home?

****

LORELAI: Kind of. Sorry.

****

GRAYER: All right. Let's go.

[_They exit toward the parking lot. Camera follows them until they are very small in the distance_]

[_Second commercial break_]

[_Int. RORY and JESS outside a house. RORY looks nervous. They walk up to a guy with many piercings, tattoos, and a mohawk_]

****

GUY: In through there.

[_JESS puts his hand on the small of RORY'S back and ushers her through the door_]

****

JESS: See? No locks.

****

RORY: Not on this door.

****

JESS: Come on.

[_The basement is very loud. The band is playing a cover of "Rockaway Beach" by the Ramones. There is already a ton of people in there_]

****

RORY: It's loud.

****

JESS: It's a concert.

****

RORY: And the people…

****

JESS: Built is pretty popular.

****

RORY: I don't like this.

****

JESS: Don't worry. It's gonna be fine. [_He sees the drink table_] I'll be right back.

[_Before RORY can protest, he's left. RORY looks around uncomfortably and crosses her arms. A GUY walks up from behind her_]

****

GUY: Hey.

****

RORY: [_Shocked_] Hey.

****

GUY: You like the band?

****

RORY: [_Warily_] I wouldn't be here if I didn't.

****

GUY: Right, right. [_He looks her up and down. RORY shifts her feet awkwardly_] You don't look like you belong here.

****

RORY: I left my spikes at home.

****

GUY: That's a shame.

****

RORY: Yeah. [_She looks around for JESS_]

****

GUY: You lookin' for someone?

****

RORY: My boyfriend.

****

GUY: Ah. He left you alone?

****

RORY: Obviously.

****

GUY: That was unwise. [_He starts to step much closer, until he brushes her with his hand. RORY backs up_]

****

JESS: [_from behind RORY_] You like 7-Up, right?

****

RORY: [_Whirls around_] Yes! [_She steps close to JESS. The GUY walks away_]

****

JESS: Good. Their choice of non-alcoholic beverages wasn't good.

****

RORY: Get me out of here.

****

JESS: We've been here for five minutes, Rory.

****

RORY: [_Upset, yelling, on the brink of tears_] I _don't_ like this, Jess! I tried to tell you that I didn't want to go to this, but you just kept pushing, and then that psycho _touched_ me, and I didn't like it! If you wanna stay, fine, but I am out of here! [_RORY storms past him and up the stairs out of the basement. JESS follows her_]

[_Continuous. Outside. RORY is walking quickly towards JESS' car. JESS is a few paces behind her_]

****

JESS: Rory!

****

RORY: [_Doesn't turn_] What?

****

JESS: Slow down. Wait a minute.

****

RORY: [_Reaches JESS' car and stops, her arms crossed defensively_] Oh, now you want to listen to me?

****

JESS: What were you talking about? What psycho?

****

RORY: You didn't see him? The guy who just came out of nowhere? He was standing right there!

****

JESS: What did he do?

****

RORY: He talked to me. He touched me.

****

JESS: [_Troubled_] Touched you?

****

RORY: Yes, touched. With his hand.

****

JESS: Rory—

****

RORY: Take me home.

****

JESS: Rory, just—

****

RORY: Now, Jess. Take me home.

****

JESS: Fine, sure. Okay.

[_They get into the car. RORY smooshes herself against her door. JESS sighs_]

[_Int. Gilmore house. JESS is dropping RORY off. RORY looks angry_]

****

RORY: [_Climbing out_] Bye. 

****

JESS: Rory, come on.

****

RORY: See you later.

****

JESS: You don't have to be so mad.

****

RORY: I don't have to be so nice either. [_She slams the door and jogs up the steps and into the house. LORELAI is lying on the couch, dejectedly watching "When Harry Met Sally" with popcorn_] Hey.

****

LORELAI: [_Startled_] Hey, kid. What are you doing here?

****

RORY: I hang out here sometimes. You know, when the drug scene gets boring.

****

LORELAI: I thought you'd be out with Jess.

****

RORY: [_Hesitating_] We got in a fight.

****

LORELAI: Oh?

****

RORY: Yeah.

****

LORELAI: About…

****

RORY: Nothing, really.

****

LORELAI: Rory.

****

RORY: We went to a concert and I didn't really like the…surroundings, and I made him take me home.

****

LORELAI: [_Dangerously_] What were the surroundings like?

****

RORY: It was this guy's basement. Built was playing.

****

LORELAI: He took you to a rave?

****

RORY: No, it was just…I hate the whole "basement" setting. It's like a bad movie.

****

LORELAI: But he took you home right away? No questions?

****

RORY: Yeah.

****

LORELAI: That's a relief.

****

RORY: For you?

****

LORELAI: Well, 'cause otherwise I'd have to beat him, and I lost my baseball bat.

****

RORY: Ah. [_Pause_] Hey, you're home!

****

LORELAI: Did you think you were talking to the couch again?

****

RORY: You're supposed to be out on a date with Grayer in your fancy dress.

****

LORELAI: Movie sold out.

****

RORY: You could've seen a different one.

****

LORELAI: I just wasn't in the mood.

****

RORY: Are you going to break up with him?

****

LORELAI: Not in the near future.

****

RORY: Because this seems like your breaking up ritual.

****

LORELAI: I don't have a "ritual."

****

RORY: You guys had a fight though, right?

****

LORELAI: Not really.

****

RORY: Mom.

****

LORELAI: We had a misunderstanding.

****

RORY: About what?

****

LORELAI: [_Sighs_] Luke.

****

RORY: Oh. I tried to save you.

****

LORELAI: I know, babe.

****

RORY: So we're gonna be pathetic on a Friday night?

****

LORELAI: Yup.

****

RORY: I'll go get some Coke.

****

LORELAI: Whew. I'm almost out.

****

RORY: What's on next?

****

LORELAI: _Moonstruck_.

****

RORY: I'm there.

****

LORELAI: And if we're still over-caffeinated, we can plug in _Reality Bites_.

****

RORY: It's a plan! [_RORY runs toward the kitchen. LORELAI lolls her head back to the TV and munches on some popcorn, her face pensive_]

[_Int. Gilmore house. RORY and LORELAI are on the couch, eating popcorn. The end of "Moonstruck" is on when the phone rings_]

****

LORELAI: You.

****

RORY: You.

****

LORELAI: You.

****

RORY: You.

****

LORELAI: I'm the mom.

****

RORY: Only according to certain papers.

****

LORELAI: I've been lying here longer. I'm less mobile.

****

RORY: [_Sigh_] Fine, fine. [_She catches the phone just before the answering machine_] Hello?

****

PARIS: Rory.

****

RORY: Paris.

****

PARIS: He said he wanted to do it again.

****

RORY: He…oh. Joel said he wanted to go out again?

****

PARIS: Yes. We made plans for next week.

****

RORY: Well…great, Paris.

****

PARIS: But I said I couldn't.

****

RORY: What? Paris! Why?

****

PARIS: He's distracting me.

****

RORY: Distracting you.

****

PARIS: From my schoolwork.

****

RORY: You've been out on one date with him.

****

PARIS: And I can see that he's going to be a big distraction.

****

RORY: Paris, that's insane. He lives in Boston. You aren't going to see him a lot.

****

PARIS: But there will be phone conversations, and God knows how long those could last.

****

RORY: Well, then you just say, "Joel, I have homework," you guys will hang up, and you will be free to work.

****

PARIS: And then there's the time I might waste thinking about him.

****

RORY: You've never wasted time thinking about someone in your life. You've got more focus than a pair of military binoculars.

****

PARIS: Plus he's going to go to Stanford. Can you believe it? Stanford. A _West Coast_ school.

****

RORY: Oh, well then you were totally justified.

****

PARIS: You think?

****

RORY: No! Paris, this guy likes you and you like him. Why on Earth wouldn't you want to go out with him?

****

PARIS: I can't let myself slip.

****

RORY: You're already in, Paris. They aren't going to revoke your acceptance if you get less than a hundred percent in every class.

****

PARIS: You really think I made the wrong decision?

****

RORY: Yes.

****

PARIS: So I should…

****

RORY: Call him, apologize, and say you'd love to go out with him next week.

****

PARIS: You do know this means you're helping me again.

****

RORY: Yeah.

****

PARIS: Okay.

****

RORY: Okay.

[_PARIS hangs up. RORY shakes her head and sits back down with LORELAI_]

****

LORELAI: Paris.

****

RORY: Yep.

****

LORELAI: What crisis is she going through now?

****

RORY: Boy problems.

****

LORELAI: [_Giggles_] No, really.

****

RORY: Yes, really.

****

LORELAI: Really?

****

RORY: Really.

****

LORELAI: Wow.

****

RORY: Yeah, wow.

****

LORELAI: And you were her selected advisor?

****

RORY: I guess I'm a member of the Cabinet now.

****

LORELAI: Movin' on up.

****

RORY: Definitely.

****

LORELAI: So does this mean you guys will be all chummy? Trips to the mall, makeovers, squealing over the totally hot guy in the college catalogue…

****

RORY: Yes, Mom, that is exactly what friendship with Paris is like.

****

LORELAI: I knew it. She probably has one of those bras with the feathers on the edge.

****

RORY: _And_ sequined underwear.

****

LORELAI: It's amazing what that intimidating exterior hides.

****

RORY: It sure is.

[_They both watch the screen for a minute, then groan_]

****

LORELAI: Not Kevin Costner!

****

RORY: Mommy!

****

LORELAI: Let's change the channel, baby.

[_Int. Gilmore house. Morning. RORY and LORELAI have been sleeping on the couch. LANE knocks on the door, then steps inside_]

****

LANE: Hello? [_She finds RORY and LORELAI sleeping and leans down next to RORY_] Psst.

****

RORY: Mmm.

****

LANE: Get up.

****

RORY: …Lane?

****

LANE: First guess, good job.

****

RORY: What are you doing here?

****

LANE: It's Saturday.

****

RORY: Duh.

****

LANE: Saturday. Festival. Clyde.

****

RORY: Oh! Right. [_She sits up and carefully slides off the couch, not disturbing LORELAI_] Saturday.

****

LANE: You have to help me.

****

RORY: I'm thinking about ditching the whole Yale thing and being a stylist instead.

****

LANE: I'll be your first client.

****

RORY: Paris might beat you to it.

****

LANE: Literally.

****

RORY: True. [_RORY starts making coffee_]

****

LANE: My mom will die if she sees me in any sort of band paraphernalia, but I thought I could hide it under a bulky sweatshirt.

****

RORY: Uh-huh. And what are you going to do with said bulky sweatshirt when you decide to take it off?

****

LANE: Tie it around my waist.

****

RORY: Okay.

****

LANE: What?

****

RORY: Nothing.

****

LANE: What's wrong with tying it around my waist?

****

RORY: Nothing.

****

LANE: That was a totally loaded "okay."

****

RORY: It's just…it gives me third-grade flashbacks.

****

LANE: Okay. I could…tie it around a tree.

****

RORY: And tell Mama Lane that you're Molly Shannon, hence the bark?

****

LANE: Okay, not good. I could… [_She thinks_] Or I could just not wear a band shirt and call it good.

****

RORY: Bingo. [_She pours herself a cup of coffee_] Coffee?

****

LANE: No thanks. Now I have to go home and rethink my entire wardrobe. But I'm coming back here! You'll do my makeup, right?

****

RORY: Won't Mrs. Kim be suspicious of makeup?

****

LANE: It'll have to be subtle.

****

RORY: _Really_ subtle.

****

LANE: Or I'll just come over here and we'll talk under the pretense of you doing my makeup.

****

RORY: It's a plan.

****

LANE: Bye.

****

RORY: Bye.

[_LANE runs out of the kitchen. LORELAI comes in, yawning_]

****

LORELAI: Lane?

****

RORY: Yeah.

****

LORELAI: Everyone runs to you with their boy problems.

****

RORY: Of course, I've acquired all knowledge from you.

****

LORELAI: So true, so true. But does Avril Lavigne give The Matrix credit?

****

RORY: That's the beauty. I get to be glamorous while you toil away doing all the work.

****

LORELAI: Role reversal.

****

RORY: Mmm.

****

LORELAI: So are you going with Jess today?

****

RORY: I don't know. I kind of feel like just staying in today.

****

LORELAI: Blasphemy! This is a town event, my spirited offspring.

****

RORY: I just don't feel like it.

****

LORELAI: You're that mad?

****

RORY: I'm not really _mad_, I just need a day alone.

****

LORELAI: You want me to stay with you?

****

RORY: No, you go out with Grayer. Have fun.

****

LORELAI: Okay. You sure?

****

RORY: Yeah. I might come if I feel more spirited.

****

LORELAI: All right, hon. I'm gonna start getting ready.

[_LORELAI stands up and kisses RORY on the head on the way out of the kitchen. La-la's start. RORY looks sadly out the window_]

[_Int. Luke's. Mid-afternoon. JESS is upstairs when LUKE comes in_]

****

LUKE: Jess.

****

JESS: Luke.

****

LUKE: You meeting Rory soon?

****

JESS: Yeah.

****

LUKE: [_He walks to the window_] Insanity.

****

JESS: Certifiable.

****

LUKE: Something happen last night?

****

JESS: What?

****

LUKE: [_Gestures_] With you and Rory.

****

JESS: Why?

****

LUKE: Well, you came in pretty early.

****

JESS: And?

****

LUKE: Well, that's weird. You usually come in right after midnight.

****

JESS: Huh.

****

LUKE: So, did something happen?

****

JESS: I can't believe they hired a clown.

****

LUKE: Jess, answer me.

****

JESS: I don't really think it's your business.

****

LUKE: So something did happen.

****

JESS: I didn't say that.

****

LUKE: Well, if nothing had happened, you would have denied it.

****

JESS: Denying it does no good.

****

LUKE: Look, Jess, if there's something you want to tell me…I'm here.

****

JESS: How comforting.

****

LUKE: You're workin' tonight.

****

JESS: I know.

****

LUKE: By eight.

****

JESS: Yet again, I know.

****

LUKE: Fine.

****

JESS: Fine.

[_LUKE leaves. JESS goes over to the window. He sees RORY outside on the edge of the crowd, looking uncomfortable_]

[_Continuous. Town Square. JESS comes up from behind RORY_]

****

JESS: Hey.

****

RORY: Hi.

****

JESS: Hi. [_Silence_] So I thought I was going to meet you at your house.

****

RORY: I got sick of waiting.

****

JESS: Okay.

****

RORY: Okay then.

****

JESS: You mad about something?

****

RORY: [_Rolls her eyes_] Nothing at all. [_She starts to walk away. JESS follows her_]

****

JESS: Last night.

****

RORY: Two points.

****

JESS: Rory, it wasn't that bad. I took you home right away.

****

RORY: After you just left me standing there!

****

JESS: It wasn't like I dumped you at the side of the road and never came back. I was gone for a minute.

****

RORY: That's a long time.

****

JESS: You could have followed me.

****

RORY: Yeah, sure.

****

JESS: I don't know why you're getting so bent out-of-shape about this.

****

RORY: You wouldn't.

****

JESS: What's that supposed to mean?

****

RORY: It means you didn't even care that I never wanted to go. You never asked me why. You didn't even care that I got freaked out.

****

JESS: Bull.

****

RORY: Put yourself over here, Jess. It's not so fun.

****

JESS: I cannot believe we're fighting over this.

****

RORY: Well, we are.

****

JESS: You're making me into Dean.

****

RORY: Excuse me?

****

JESS: Dean would fight about everything. You're trying to make me into a jealous boyfriend who watches your every move.

****

RORY: That's not true.

****

JESS: Then what is true?

****

RORY: What's true is that I didn't feel like you even cared about me or my feelings last night, Jess!

****

JESS: Not this crap.

****

RORY: This isn't "crap."

****

JESS: Whatever. 

[_He walks away. RORY has tears of frustration in her eyes. She sees DEAN watching from a few yards away. She turns away and starts walking home_]

[_Third commercial break_]

[_Int. festival. LORELAI and GRAYER are walking through it, holding hands, each eating cotton candy_]

****

GRAYER: Isn't cotton candy supposed to be for summer festivals?

****

LORELAI: That's the beauty of this town. Cotton candy is a staple at every event.

****

GRAYER: Regardless of temperature or theme?

****

LORELAI: That's right. We can rot our bodies during any number of seasons.

****

GRAYER: I might just have to move to this town.

****

LORELAI: You might. But newcomers get put on the auction block.

****

GRAYER: Would you bid for me?

****

LORELAI: Depends on who else is up there.

****

GRAYER: Oh?

****

LORELAI: Well, if Taylor was up there, I might bid on him, 'cause duh—free groceries for a month. Or if Kevin Bacon happened to show up, he'd definitely beat you out.

****

GRAYER: That's reassuring, since none of those two things would ever happen.

****

LORELAI: Never say never.

****

GRAYER: Kevin Bacon.

****

LORELAI: _Footloose_.

****

GRAYER: _The River Wild_.

****

LORELAI: _That's_ the one he did with Meryl Streep.

****

GRAYER: And look what happened to her.

****

LORELAI: Straight from that to…_Music of the Heart_. [_They make simultaneous gagging noises_]

****

GRAYER: And after that…_The Hours_.

****

LORELAI: I felt like Elaine from _Seinfeld_.

****

GRAYER: I was numbed.

****

LORELAI: Hey, look! Hot chocolate!

****

GRAYER: We have cotton candy.

****

LORELAI: And? What's wrong with more sugar?

****

GRAYER: The two sugar tastes aren't really compatible.

****

LORELAI: They definitely have a Lisa Marie-Michael vibe going.

****

GRAYER: Maybe just some water.

****

LORELAI: Blasphemous man! This doesn't mean that we forgo one type of sugar! We just have to finish this sugar quickly.

[_GRAYER shakes his head but wolfs down the candy anyway. LORELAI looks up and sees LUKE looking out from the diner, staring at her as she and GRAYER eat. As soon as he realizes she's looking back, he turns away_]

****

GRAYER: Okay, I'm done. I might die of some sort of sugar overdose, but I'll take the hot chocolate.

****

LORELAI: [_Half-heartedly_] Great.

****

GRAYER: Lorelai?

****

LORELAI: What?

****

GRAYER: You okay?

****

LORELAI: What? Yeah. Let's get that warm dissolved sugar.

[_LORELAI walks quickly in the direction of the hot chocolate stand, leaving GRAYER to trail her, confused_]

[_Int. Luke's. He and JESS are the only two people in the diner_]

****

JESS: Maybe we should just call it a night.

****

LUKE: There'll be people after, wanting a piece of pie.

****

JESS: They're gonna be stuffed with cotton candy and turkey.

****

LUKE: Yeah. [_Pause_] Yeah, let's close up.

****

JESS: I'll wipe down.

[_LUKE tosses him a rag and JESS starts wiping. LUKE goes behind the counter and starts emptying the till_]

****

LUKE: Noticed you didn't go out for very long.

****

JESS: It's a town thing.

****

LUKE: Yeah, but I thought you were meeting Rory.

****

JESS: She had stuff to do.

****

LUKE: Ah. [_Pause_] I saw.

****

JESS: Saw what?

****

LUKE: You two had a fight.

****

JESS: Huh.

****

LUKE: Jess, come on. Say _something_.

****

JESS: I wanna be sedated.

****

LUKE: What?

****

JESS: You said to say something.

****

LUKE: You calling her?

****

JESS: Eventually.

****

LUKE: Is eventually coming up in a couple minutes?

****

JESS: Don't know.

****

LUKE: This isn't the way to handle a fight.

****

JESS: And what _is_ proper fight etiquette, Uncle Luke?

****

LUKE: Apologize, Jess.

****

JESS: Wasn't my fault.

****

LUKE: A fight takes two people.

****

JESS: Yeah, one to start it and one to get blamed for it.

****

LUKE: Do you like Rory?

****

JESS: Oh, jeez.

****

LUKE: Come on, Jess. Do you like her? [_JESS says nothing, just wipes_] Rory's a great girl. The least you could do is call her. That's all I'm gonna say. [_LUKE takes some things upstairs_] Shut the lights off when you're done.

[_JESS throws his rag down on the table and stares into space for a while. He shuts the lights off, grabs his coat, and leaves_]

[_Int. LORELAI and GRAYER walking to LORELAI'S house, hand in hand_]

****

LORELAI: They _think_ they want to meet me.

****

GRAYER: They're curious.

****

LORELAI: In the morbid, Addam's Family sort of way.

****

GRAYER: Well, my mother takes all the credit for having set us up and my father nodded his head, so they're curious.

****

LORELAI: Wow, meeting the parents.

****

GRAYER: It won't be a big deal. Dinner, drinks…

****

LORELAI: …massacre.

****

GRAYER: They'll like you.

****

LORELAI: My own parents don't like me. I highly doubt that another set of parents are going to be too wild about me.

****

GRAYER: Well, they've extended the invitation.

****

LORELAI: [_Sighs_] For when?

****

GRAYER: Friday in three weeks.

****

LORELAI: Three weeks, huh?

****

GRAYER: My parents are big on notice.

****

LORELAI: Well, I have dinner with my parents on Fridays…

****

GRAYER: The invitation includes them.

****

LORELAI: Ah—oh.

****

GRAYER: Don't worry.

****

LORELAI: Don't worry? My parents will find a way to ruin this for me.

****

GRAYER: I don't think they're out to sabotage this.

****

LORELAI: That's because you've never met my parents.

****

GRAYER: Well, your mother set this up, right?

****

LORELAI: Yeah…

****

GRAYER: Therefore, she wanted this.

****

LORELAI: But she's going to see that I'm happy and go into Emily Gilmore as evil stepmother drive.

****

GRAYER: Look, don't worry. If things get tense, my parents will start ragging on me.

****

LORELAI: Actually, my parents will start ragging on _me_.

****

GRAYER: So there you go. It'll be like a regular Friday night dinner.

****

LORELAI: [_Laughs_] Okay.

****

GRAYER: Okay, you'll come?

****

LORELAI: We'll be there.

****

GRAYER: Trust me. It'll be fine.

[_GRAYER draws LORELAI closer so that her head rests on his shoulder. LORELAI looks into the distance, her face preoccupied_]

[_Int. Gilmore house. RORY is sitting on the porch steps, staring into space. LANE comes running up the front walk_]

****

LANE: Rory! Rory!

****

RORY: What? What happened?

****

LANE: Kiss.

****

RORY: Kiss?

****

LANE: [_Points to her lips_] Kiss!

****

RORY: [_Stands_] Kiss!

[_The girls hug and jump a little_]

****

LANE: Kiss!

****

RORY: How?

****

LANE: We were just…standing there…talking about Count the Stars…and then…he just…

****

RORY: Oh my God!

****

LANE: I know.

****

RORY: How was it?

****

LANE: Perfect.

****

RORY: Oh, Lane!

****

LANE: I know! I turn eighteen and finally get a kiss!

****

RORY: He just…leaned down?

****

LANE: Well, we were talking about Count the Stars and I commented on how there were stars and we were standing in Stars Hollow—

****

RORY: Making connections!

****

LANE: Exactly. And then I tipped my head up and pointed to this star and he just…kissed me!

****

RORY: That's so great, Lane.

****

LANE: But then I ran.

****

RORY: Ran?

****

LANE: I could hear my mother calling me.

****

RORY: Of course.

****

LANE: And I didn't say anything to him.

****

RORY: He'll understand. He's talked to Mrs. Kim.

****

LANE: I can't believe she interrupted it.

****

RORY: Better than her seeing it.

****

LANE: True.

****

RORY: I take it she still hasn't met Clyde?

****

LANE: No.

****

RORY: That's probably for the best.

****

LANE: Yeah.

****

RORY: So is this going be a repeating occurrence?

****

LANE: I hope so. I hope he doesn't think I'm mad.

****

RORY: Why would he think that?

****

LANE: The running.

****

RORY: Your mother was calling you.

****

LANE: I could have at least said something.

****

RORY: How about "thank you"?

[_The girls giggle_]

****

LANE: I saw Dean at the festival.

****

RORY: So did I.

****

LANE: You were there?

****

RORY: I didn't stay long.

****

LANE: Dean?

****

RORY: Jess.

****

LANE: What happened?

****

RORY: It's…I don't know. We went to a band last night and it was in this guy's basement and I didn't like it, so I told him but he just…wouldn't quit, and we ended up leaving early. Things just got so messed up and I yelled at him in the middle of town…in front of Dean…

****

LANE: Oh.

****

RORY: I don't know what to do. I mean, it was his fault, but should I apologize?

****

LANE: I don't know. I just got kissed. I haven't gotten to fighting yet.

****

RORY: Well, when you do, don't ask me for advice.

****

LANE: Duly noted. I better get back before Mama starts looking.

****

RORY: See you later.

****

LANE: Bye.

****

RORY: Hey, Lane?

****

LANE: Yeah?

****

RORY: Call him.

****

LANE: Will do.

[_LANE jogs down the Gilmore walk. "Here Comes Your Man" by the Pixies starts playing as RORY sits on the porch steps and thinks. JESS comes up the walk, but stops before RORY can see him. He stares at her for a while, then turns around and leaves_]

[_Int. Gilmore house. Morning. LORELAI comes into RORY'S room and lays down next to her_]

****

LORELAI: Rory…

****

RORY: [_Mumbling_] What?

****

LORELAI: Get up.

****

RORY: Why?

****

LORELAI: I have a _huge_ dilemma.

****

RORY: One that I can't solve from here?

****

LORELAI: Grayer wants me to meet his parents.

****

RORY: Good.

****

LORELAI: Good? How is that good?

****

RORY: That means he likes you.

****

LORELAI: And that he wants me to meet his parents.

****

RORY: Mom?

****

LORELAI: Meeting parents is a huge step.

****

RORY: Okay.

****

LORELAI: Okay?

****

RORY: Okay.

****

LORELAI: After I meet the parents, I'm in. That's it.

****

RORY: Mom, meeting his parents doesn't mean you're marrying him.

****

LORELAI: That's where you're wrong. His mother will get out her old wedding dress and tell me how I'm exactly her size and that she's been wanting grandchildren for a long time.

****

RORY: It still doesn't mean you're getting married. Grayer has to agree to it too.

****

LORELAI: But he invited me to meet his parents.

****

RORY: Redundancy must come to you in the morning.

****

LORELAI: He invited me, which must mean that he _wants_ his mother to take out the old wedding dress.

****

RORY: So what if he does?

****

LORELAI: [_Mouth drops in surprise_]

****

RORY: I think you're overanalyzing.

****

LORELAI: Rory, this is a big deal!

****

RORY: Okay, so it's a big deal. Mom, he's not going to trap you, throw you over his shoulder and drag you to the altar.

****

LORELAI: Do you have any proof of that?

****

RORY: A written, signed contract.

****

LORELAI: I'd like to keep that with me at all times.

****

RORY: I thought his parents were like Grandma and Grandpa.

****

LORELAI: And?

****

RORY: And so, would Grandma and Grandpa start taking out old wedding dresses?

****

LORELAI: They might.

****

RORY: They wouldn't.

****

LORELAI: [_Pause_] It better be a _pretty_ dress.

[_RORY groans and puts her head under the pillow. LORELAI lays down next to her and tries to sleep_]

[_Fourth commercial break_]

[_Int. Independence Inn. LORELAI is sitting on a stool in the kitchen while SOOKIE cooks_]

****

LORELAI: This is to die for.

****

SOOKIE: You like it?

****

LORELAI: This should definitely go on the menu.

****

SOOKIE: Will do. [_SOOKIE and LORELAI are silent_] Hey, Lorelai?

****

LORELAI: Yeah?

****

SOOKIE: Did something happen with you and Luke?

****

LORELAI: No.

****

SOOKIE: Because you seemed a little sensitive about it.

****

LORELAI: I wasn't "sensitive."

****

SOOKIE: Well, I said his name and you stormed out of the room.

****

LORELAI: I—it was—

****

SOOKIE: You don't go there on your break anymore. You don't talk about him.

****

LORELAI: I got busy.

****

SOOKIE: And Luke doesn't, you know, seem to have his pining thing going anymore.

****

LORELAI: [_Hurt_] You don't think so?

****

SOOKIE: Well, at least he's toned it down.

****

LORELAI: Oh.

****

SOOKIE: So I was just wondering if you two fought.

****

LORELAI: Not—not really.

****

SOOKIE: Then what happened? [_She puts down her spoon and faces LORELAI_]

****

LORELAI: I screwed up, Sookie.

****

SOOKIE: How so?

****

LORELAI: I just—ooh, God, I'm so oblivious sometimes.

****

SOOKIE: Lorelai?

****

LORELAI: He was in love with me. Everyone else saw it—even Rory—and I…I don't know if I didn't see it or if I was just ignoring it, but he was, Sookie, and I just strung him along. I didn't even mean to, but in the back of my head, Luke was like this safe harbor. He was right—he was the pinch hitter. If things didn't work out with Christopher, then I had Luke; if things didn't work out with Max, I had Luke; if things didn't work out with Grayer, I had Luke. I dragged him along like a little dog.

****

SOOKIE: Lorelai, you never meant to.

****

LORELAI: That doesn't matter! He told me he was in love with me and I said that I just couldn't, not right now, and he said there was never going to be another "right now" and I blew it, Sookie. I was too scared to maybe admit that I wanted this too and now it'll never be the same again.

****

SOOKIE: So go talk to him.

****

LORELAI: I can't. I already threw him to the wolves.

****

SOOKIE: But you really want this?

****

LORELAI: Of course.

****

SOOKIE: Then it's at least worth a try, right?

[_LORELAI looks at SOOKIE and sighs. She puts her coffee cup on the counter and stands up_]

****

LORELAI: It's not going to work, Sookie. I messed up.

[_LORELAI leaves_]

[_Int. Luke's. Afternoon. RORY walks in with her uniform on. JESS sees her from behind the counter. She walks up and sits on a stool by him_]

****

RORY: Hey.

****

JESS: Hey.

****

RORY: You busy?

****

JESS: Um, no. You wanna…[_he gestures up the stairs_]

****

RORY: Yeah. [_She hops off her stool and follows JESS up the stairs and through LUKE'S apartment door_]

****

JESS: So…

****

RORY: So.

****

JESS: I'm…

****

RORY: Me too.

****

JESS: I shoulda listened to you.

****

RORY: I kind of blew things out of proportion.

****

JESS: True.

****

RORY: But I was scared.

****

JESS: I forget, you're sheltered.

****

RORY: I am.

****

JESS: Next time, I'll get a leash.

****

RORY: [_Sarcastic_] Gee, thanks.

****

JESS: [_Gestures toward her backpack_] You gonna set that thing down?

****

RORY: Depends.

****

JESS: On?

****

RORY: If I'm staying.

****

JESS: Well, are you?

****

RORY: Depends.

****

JESS: On?

****

RORY: If I get an invitation.

[_JESS steps closer, takes her cheeks in his hands and kisses her. RORY breaks the kiss to set her bag on the floor_]

****

JESS: So…

****

RORY: So…

****

JESS: How're…things?

****

RORY: Paris got a boyfriend.

****

JESS: Huh.

****

RORY: Lane got kissed.

****

JESS: By the Lord?

****

RORY: By Clyde.

****

JESS: Well.

****

RORY: Mom got invited to meet Grayer's parents.

****

JESS: Next step, marriage.

****

RORY: Funny, that's what she said.

****

JESS: Isn't that funny?

****

RORY: And I'm pretty sure that Kirk'll never recover from the snowball pelting he took.

****

JESS: You stayed at the festival?

****

RORY: My mom told me. Plus, it was in the paper. [_JESS slowly wraps his arm around her waist_] And…Taylor said that next year we should have a water gun fight, but then…[_JESS leans close_]…then Kirk said that they didn't have guns back then and Taylor said that they did…[_JESS kisses her neck_]…and that—[_JESS kisses her lips and she finally stops talking and surrenders to the kiss_]

[_Int. Diner. Afternoon. LORELAI walks in looking determined. LUKE is behind the counter_]

****

LORELAI: Coffee?

****

LUKE: Fresh. [_He fills a to-go cup_]

****

LORELAI: Actually, I was going to sit here.

****

LUKE: Okay. [_He transfers the coffee from the cup to a mug_] There.

****

LORELAI: Where's Jess?

****

LUKE: Upstairs with Rory.

****

LORELAI: Doing what?

****

LUKE: Normal…teenage things, I suppose.

****

LORELAI: And you monitor these "normal teenage things"?

****

LUKE: Enough.

****

LORELAI: How much is enough?

****

LUKE: I hear no loud noises or shrieks of terror, I figure everything's okay.

****

LORELAI: You do know that "normal teenage things" probably includes something we don't want?

****

LUKE: Like?

****

LORELAI: Like sex.

****

LUKE: You trust Rory?

****

LORELAI: With my life.

****

LUKE: Then it's not included.

****

LORELAI: Luke, hormones are scary things.

****

LUKE: Cut the kid some slack.

****

LORELAI: Which kid?

****

LUKE: Both.

****

LORELAI: Because Jess has exhibited such great grounds for slack-cutting in the past.

****

LUKE: Oh, here we go.

****

LORELAI: Not here we go.

****

LUKE: Look, you want me to ban them from going upstairs? Install hidden cameras?

****

LORELAI: No! I just want my daughter to be safe.

****

LUKE: Look, if they're gonna do it, why not have them do it here, not in some cheap motel on the Interstate?

****

LORELAI: I didn't come to debate this with you.

****

LUKE: Really.

****

LORELAI: Yeah. [_She clears her throat and looks around nervously_] Luke, I…[_LORELAI looks down to the counter; LUKE looks at her_]

****

LUKE: You…

****

LORELAI: I messed up. [_She takes a deep breath and looks at him. He stares directly back at her_] I, um…[_Her courage starts to fade_] I meant to come in and apologize about Jess.

****

LUKE: [_Confused_] What?

****

LORELAI: I messed up…when I judged him so fast.

****

LUKE: Lorelai…?

****

LORELAI: And I'm sorry, 'cause I know you love him, and I should have trusted you that he's a great kid.

****

LUKE: I never said he was—

****

LORELAI: Oh, it's getting late. I should go. [_She tosses money on the counter_] Thanks for the coffee. [_She bolts out the door. LUKE stands at the counter, befuddled_]

[_Int. Apartment. Night. RORY and JESS are sitting—almost lying—on the couch making out. RORY breaks the kiss_]

****

RORY: What time is it?

****

JESS: I don't know.

****

RORY: [_Grabs his wrist and looks at his watch_] Oh my God! It's eight o'clock.

****

JESS: Mmm.

****

RORY: I have to go.

****

JESS: Stay.

****

RORY: I can't…my mom.

****

JESS: [_Sighs_] Tomorrow?

****

RORY: Tomorrow.

[_RORY gets up. As she's gathering her things together, LUKE comes in_]

****

LUKE: Rory.

****

RORY: Hey, Luke.

****

LUKE: Goin' home?

****

RORY: Yeah. It's kind of getting late.

****

LUKE: Yep.

****

RORY: Well…bye, Luke, Jess.

****

JESS: Bye.

[_LUKE watches her leave, then turns on JESS_]

****

LUKE: You guys were…

****

JESS: Doing things that would make Anna Nicole Smith blush.

****

LUKE: Jess…

****

JESS: Nothing that would lead to pregnancy, okay?

****

LUKE: Good. [_Clears throat_] Lorelai's kind of worried about you guys…sitting up here, you know, all the time.

****

JESS: Name one thing she _isn't_ worried about.

****

LUKE: Globalization.

****

JESS: Then she's not neurotic, my mistake.

****

LUKE: So you two made up, then.

****

JESS: Yeah.

****

LUKE: Well, that's good.

****

JESS: Yeah.

****

LUKE: Is—[_Telephone rings_] You wanna…

****

JESS: It's not for me. [_Walks away_]

****

LUKE: Okay. [_Picks up phone_] Hello?

****

LIZ: Luke?

****

LUKE: Liz.

****

LIZ: Is Jess there?

****

LUKE: No.

****

LIZ: Oh.

****

LUKE: Is there something you want me to tell him?

****

LIZ: Could you just mention that I called?

****

LUKE: Sure.

****

LIZ: And have him call me back.

****

LUKE: Yeah, right.

****

LIZ: How is he?

****

LUKE: Fine.

****

LIZ: School?

****

LUKE: Fine.

****

LIZ: His, um, girlfriend?

****

LUKE: You can't remember her name.

****

LIZ: [_Ashamed_] No.

****

LUKE: _Rory_ is fine too.

****

LIZ: Good.

****

LUKE: Yeah. [_Pause_] Anything else?

****

LIZ: What would you think of me visiting?

****

LUKE: I think…[_sighs_] I think that's a bad idea, Liz.

****

LIZ: I thought maybe if I could just see Jess, maybe explain some things—

****

LUKE: He's doing good, Liz. Don't mess it up.

****

LIZ: Right.

****

LUKE: I'll tell him you called.

****

LIZ: Okay, thanks. Bye, Luke.

****

LUKE: Bye. [_Hangs up. JESS is leaning against the archway by the kitchen; LUKE sees him when he turns around_] That was—

****

JESS: My mother.

****

LUKE: Yeah.

****

JESS: So?

****

LUKE: She called to check up.

****

JESS: How motherly.

****

LUKE: She wanted to talk to you.

****

JESS: Huh.

****

LUKE: And said she wanted you to call back.

****

JESS: I'll get right on that.

****

LUKE: Jess, she's your mother.

****

JESS: That's not my fault.

****

LUKE: She loves you.

****

JESS: If she loves me, then the Cookie Monster is Satan.

****

LUKE: Jess—

****

JESS: She doesn't love me! She doesn't even care! She thinks loving a kid is leaving him alone, then waiting for him to screw up! That's not love.

[_Silence_]

****

LUKE: Anyway, she called.

****

JESS: Good for her. Mother of the Year awaits. [_Leaves_]

[_LUKE stands in the kitchen for a minute, staring after JESS, then sinks down into a chair and shuts his eyes_]

[_Int. Gilmore house. Night. RORY walks in the door and finds LORELAI on the couch, surrounded by papers_]

****

LORELAI: This inn thing is driving me crazy.

****

RORY: I can see that. What's happening?

****

LORELAI: The construction, Rory…it's going to cost a bundle. I told Sookie that I didn't want to ask my parents, but I think I'm going to have to.

****

RORY: Mom, they'll be happy to do it.

****

LORELAI: Thanks for trying, sweetie, but Mommy's smarter than that.

****

RORY: What are your other options?

****

LORELAI: That's the beauty of it. I have no other options.

****

RORY: No loans?

****

LORELAI: They wouldn't give me a loan to fix my _house_. I don't think asking for a hundred thousand in construction is going to go over well.

****

RORY: Okay. Does the construction company take it in increments?

****

LORELAI: Yes. There's one mondo one, two enormous ones, or three gigantic ones.

****

RORY: No monthly-type plan?

****

LORELAI: No.

****

RORY: Well, there's always…

****

LORELAI: What?

****

RORY: Luke. Luke and the town.

****

LORELAI: I need some pretty complicated electrical stuff done.

****

RORY: I know, but maybe Luke and Andrew and Dean could work on the woodwork-remodeling stuff…Lane and I can paint…Jess could do something. You know, have the town do a lot of it, defray the other costs.

****

LORELAI: Rory, I can't ask Luke.

****

RORY: I'll ask him for you.

****

LORELAI: Thanks, babe, but the asking's just the first part.

****

RORY: I think it's your best option.

****

LORELAI: Me too.

****

RORY: Well…

****

LORELAI: I'll think.

****

RORY: Okay. I'm gonna get to bed.

****

LORELAI: Night, sweets. [_They kiss. RORY leaves_]

[_La-la's start. LORELAI looks at all of her papers, sifting through them. She comes upon a picture of the inn, which she stares at for a long time. She takes a deep breath, nods, and smiles a little_]

[_End of episode_]


	8. Chasing Rainbows

****

"Chasing Rainbows"

****

A/N: Dedicated to **Hadar** and **Kate** for reading this and giving me invaluable feedback. Also, thanks to the **Gilmore Girls fanfiction thread** for their wonderful-ness. And especially thanks to my reviewers. I love you guys.

****

Featured Music:

"Mack the Knife," Ella Fitzgerald

"Save Me," Aimee Mann

"You've Got a Friend," James Taylor

****

ANNOUNCER: Previously on Gilmore Girls…

[_Cut to LORELAI and GRAYER_]

****

LORELAI: Wow, meeting the parents.

****

GRAYER: It won't be a big deal. Dinner, drinks…

****

LORELAI: …massacre.

[_Cut to PARIS and RORY on the phone_]

****

PARIS: He said he wanted to do it again.

****

RORY: He…oh. Joel said he wanted to go out again?

****

PARIS: Yes. We made plans for next week.

****

RORY: Well…great, Paris.

****

PARIS: But I said I couldn't.

[_Cut to LIZ and LUKE on the phone_]

****

LUKE: Is there something you want me to tell him?

****

LIZ: Could you just mention that I called?

****

LUKE: Sure.

****

LIZ: And have him call me back.

****

LUKE: Yeah, right.

[_Cut to RORY and LORELAI on the couch_]

****

RORY: Okay. Does the construction company take it in increments?

****

LORELAI: Yes. There's one mondo one, two enormous ones, or three gigantic ones.

****

RORY: No monthly-type plan?

****

LORELAI: No.

****

RORY: Well, there's always…

****

LORELAI: What?

****

RORY: Luke. Luke and the town.

[_Int. Gilmore house. Morning. RORY and LORELAI are huddled around the coffee maker, waiting for it to produce coffee_]

****

RORY: We need a faster coffee maker.

****

LORELAI: They don't come any faster than Bunns.

****

RORY: Michael Johnson should make coffee makers.

****

LORELAI: Coffee in four-point-nine seconds flat.

****

RORY: This one takes three whole minutes.

****

LORELAI: My parents are sadists. The only people who would wrench us out of bed at seven on a Saturday are sadists. And the people doing the wrenching are my parents. So they're sadists.

****

RORY: You just might impress a college scout with that logic. [_She pulls her mug out from under the drip and sips_] Ahh.

****

LORELAI: Ahh.

****

RORY: [_Checks her watch_] Uh-oh.

****

LORELAI: What?

****

RORY: Mom, they're late.

****

LORELAI: Oh dear God. [_She looks under the sink_] I just saw the apocalypse.

****

RORY: Late.

****

LORELAI: Wow, the apocalypse is a really ugly shade of green.

****

RORY: Late.

****

LORELAI: And ouch, those orange accessories don't do anything for its coloring.

[_A horn sounds outside_]

****

RORY: And they're honking!

****

LORELAI: I hope the apocalypse can keep its spandex shorts on when it gets mad.

****

RORY: Let's not stick around to find out.

****

LORELAI: Good idea.

[_They grab their purses and go out to the car, where RICHARD and EMILY are sitting_]

****

RICHARD: [_Cheerfully_] Good morning.

****

RORY: Morning, Grandpa.

****

LORELAI: You're late.

****

EMILY: There was traffic.

****

LORELAI: At seven A.M. on a Saturday?

****

EMILY: Yes, Lorelai.

****

RICHARD: Construction again.

****

LORELAI: I'll have you know that your apocalypse is getting angry. [_Deepens voice_] Apocalypse mad!

****

EMILY: Lorelai, for heaven's sake.

****

RORY: So how long does it take to get to New Haven?

****

EMILY: Well, if that dreadful construction is still going on, it could be forty-five minutes.

****

RORY: That's not so bad.

****

LORELAI: Forty-five minutes until boredom.

****

RICHARD: Now, Lorelai, the Yale campus is a wonderful place.

****

LORELAI: Not as wonderful as my bed.

****

EMILY: Oh, it won't be as bad as you think.

****

LORELAI: Oh no?

****

EMILY: We're going out for breakfast.

****

LORELAI: At a place with good coffee, I hope.

****

EMILY: I'm sure their coffee is fine.

****

LORELAI: Dad, turn here.

****

RICHARD: What? This isn't the way out of town.

****

LORELAI: It's a … shortcut.

****

RICHARD: Well. [_He turns_]

****

LORELAI: Now a right.

****

EMILY: Lorelai, we're headed for the center of town.

****

LORELAI: Right there! Stop! [_RICHARD brakes_] Be back in a second. [_LORELAI hops out of the car towards Luke's_]

****

EMILY: I don't see how this is a shortcut.

****

RICHARD: It certainly seems to be a rather self-serving shortcut.

****

RORY: Mom and I use this one all the time.

****

RICHARD: Really?

****

RORY: Every morning.

****

RICHARD: Well, then.

[_LORELAI comes back out holding a tray of four coffees and climbs in the backseat_]

****

EMILY: Lorelai, no coffee in the car.

****

LORELAI: I brought napkins! [_Brandishes napkins_]

****

EMILY: _No_ coffee in the car.

****

LORELAI: Come on, Mom. You yourself said it could be forty-five minutes until we get there. Rory and I will die.

****

RORY: Yep.

****

EMILY: Oh, fine. Drink it. But don't spill.

****

LORELAI: [_Grins. To RORY_] Apocalypse happy.

[_Opening credits_]

[_First commercial break_]

[_Int. Yale campus. RORY, LORELAI, RICHARD, and EMILY are walking around. RICHARD looks pleased. RORY looks awed. EMILY looks smug. LORELAI looks tired_]

****

RICHARD: And that's where I roomed! Right there.

****

RORY: Really?

****

EMILY: The most awful roommate.

****

RICHARD: [_Chuckles_] Oh, Emily, Allan was fine.

****

EMILY: Fine if you liked crude conversation.

****

LORELAI: I would love to meet Allan.

****

RICHARD: Ah, he's a television producer now.

****

RORY: What was he majoring in?

****

RICHARD: [_Grins_] Law.

****

RORY: Oh.

****

EMILY: No sense of direction either.

****

RORY: Did you live on campus the whole time you went here?

****

RICHARD: Oh, yes. A lot of people do. It's a wonderful environment.

****

LORELAI: But you don't have to.

****

RICHARD: Just your freshman year, unless they've changed it.

****

RORY: They haven't.

****

RICHARD: You've done your research.

****

EMILY: She _is_ your granddaughter.

****

RICHARD: True. [_Points_] That's the theater building. I played Macbeth one year.

****

EMILY: All the girls were after him.

****

RICHARD: Oh, come now, Emily.

****

EMILY: But he was all mine.

****

RORY: Did you play any other parts?

****

RICHARD: Small ones. I was very focused on my studies.

****

EMILY: [_Laughs_]

****

LORELAI: I sense a secret.

****

EMILY: Richard, I never saw you with a book open.

****

RICHARD: [_Indignantly_] I had plenty of open books.

****

EMILY: Not that I saw.

****

RICHARD: Well, you weren't there all the time.

****

LORELAI: Admit it, Dad. You were a slacker.

****

RICHARD: I was most certainly not a "slacker."

****

EMILY: I seem to remember one or two early-morning calculus courses slipping by.

****

RORY: You cut class, Grandpa?

****

EMILY: He hated math.

****

RICHARD: I didn't hate it. It's unjust to schedule a class before ten A.M.

****

LORELAI: You get up at a quarter to six, Dad.

****

RICHARD: Well, I'm more mature now.

****

EMILY: Your father _hated _getting up early.

****

RORY: Really.

****

RICHARD: Why get up early for calculus?

****

EMILY: I don't think you're being a good influence on Rory.

****

RICHARD: Rory can understand. [_He nudges RORY, who smiles at him_]

****

LORELAI: Just say it, Dad: she's hung around me.

****

RORY: That's true, Grandpa.

****

RICHARD: Ah, look! The music building. I used to be part of a singing ensemble.

****

LORELAI: That's where I got my wonderful musical talent.

****

RICHARD: Blame your mother for that. She can't carry a tune.

****

EMILY: I most certainly can!

****

LORELAI: Come on, Mom, sing.

****

EMILY: Here?

****

LORELAI: Yeah, with all the birds listening.

****

RORY: Come on, Grandma.

****

EMILY: [_Singing uncertainly_] "Oh the shark bites with his teeth dear and he shows them pearly white—"

****

LORELAI: Oh my God, you're right.

****

RICHARD: I told you.

****

RORY: It wasn't that bad, Grandma.

****

EMILY: Thank you, Rory.

****

LORELAI: Liar.

****

RORY: Mom.

****

RICHARD: My favorite library.

****

EMILY: He was always in here.

****

LORELAI: I thought you said he never had a book open.

****

EMILY: I didn't say he had a book. He was just in here.

****

RICHARD: Lovely place. [_They walk up to the door, which is locked_] Well, it is their Christmas break.

****

RORY: It looks like you need a student ID to get in.

****

RICHARD: Well, we'll browse next fall.

[_LORELAI purses her lips and looks away. RORY sees this but smiles at her grandfather_]

****

RORY: Yep.

****

EMILY: They have so many books in this institution.

****

LORELAI: Harvard has millions.

****

RICHARD: As does Yale.

****

LORELAI: Harvard has the largest private library in the world.

****

RORY: But Yale's is big, too. Hey Grandpa, did you play sports at Yale?

****

RICHARD: Well, I golfed a great deal, but not for a team.

****

EMILY: He could have been a varsity golfer.

****

RICHARD: But I didn't want to join a sports organization.

****

RORY: Why not?

****

RICHARD: Too time-consuming. I was more of a debater, myself.

****

RORY: I like debate.

****

EMILY: It's a wonderful activity.

****

LORELAI: Especially when you see all the research.

****

RICHARD: Extemporaneous debate is the way to go.

****

RORY: Really?

****

RICHARD: It keeps your intellect very sharp.

****

EMILY: Oh, Richard, look! The rose garden. [_EMILY points to a greenhouse-type structure_]

****

RICHARD: Ah, yes.

****

RORY: Rose garden?

****

RICHARD: Horticultural club. At least, that's who tended it when I went here. Let's see if we can have a look.

[_They all walk up to the rose garden, which is open. Even LORELAI looks impressed. "Mack the Knife" by Ella Fitzgerald starts playing_]

****

RORY: Wow.

****

RICHARD: Isn't it lovely?

****

EMILY: Your grandfather and I used to come here a lot. It's even lovelier in the springtime.

****

RORY: I bet. This looks like a great place to read.

****

LORELAI: A little…steamy.

****

RICHARD: You get used to it.

****

LORELAI: It'll wilt your book.

****

RORY: I don't think so.

****

EMILY: This is still so lovely. It's good they've kept this up.

****

RICHARD: It's a lovely tradition.

****

LORELAI: [_To herself_] And we love tradition.

[_Int. Yale campus. Late morning/early afternoon._]

****

RICHARD: I propose lunch.

****

LORELAI: I wholeheartedly concur.

****

RORY: Me too.

****

EMILY: Lunch sounds lovely.

****

RICHARD: Well, there's a café about a mile from here. We could walk.

****

EMILY: Richard, it's the middle of winter. That's ridiculous.

****

RICHARD: Oh, Emily.

****

LORELAI: Come on, Dad, it's freezing.

****

EMILY: Thank you, Lorelai.

****

RICHARD: [_Disappointed_] Well, I guess we can drive.

[_They climb into the car, where EMILY turns the heat on_]

****

EMILY: It's so cold out.

****

LORELAI: That's winter for you.

****

RICHARD: This is a wonderful little café. I used to go here all the time in college.

****

LORELAI: Uh, are you sure it's still around?

****

RICHARD: Of course I'm sure.

****

LORELAI: [_Doubtfully_] Okay…

****

RORY: Didn't you eat in the cafeteria?

****

RICHARD: Sometimes. But it was pleasant to come to this place for lunch on a Saturday afternoon. I think you'll like it too.

****

RORY: Optimal reading environment?

****

RICHARD: Perfect. Which reminds me, I have a collection of Steinbeck short novels I think you'll like in my study.

****

RORY: [_Enthusiastically_] Thanks, Grandpa.

****

RICHARD: Here we are.

****

LORELAI: It's very…small.

****

RICHARD: I didn't say it was fancy.

****

EMILY: Richard, we can't _eat_ here.

****

RICHARD: It's perfectly fine.

****

EMILY: It looks filthy.

****

RICHARD: It's clean.

****

LORELAI: Do they serve coffee?

****

RICHARD: Yes.

****

RORY: I like it.

****

RICHARD: Well, good. 

[_They walk inside, EMILY going in last and looking disgusted. RICHARD picks out a window table_]

****

EMILY: Where is the host?

****

RICHARD: No host.

****

LORELAI: [_Taking a menu from the center of the table_] I like this place.

****

RICHARD: I'm glad.

****

RORY: [_Taking a menu for herself_] It's perfect.

****

EMILY: It's a bit…dark. [_She also reaches for a menu_]

****

RICHARD: Not on a sunnier day.

****

EMILY: And this glass looks filmy.

****

LORELAI: Then ask them for another one.

****

EMILY: God knows what they'll do to that.

****

RICHARD: Now, Emily.

****

LORELAI: I never envisioned you coming here, Dad.

****

RICHARD: You'd be surprised.

****

RORY: You came here a lot?

****

RICHARD: Quite a lot.

****

EMILY: My goodness.

[_WAITER comes up_]

****

WAITER: What can I get you?

****

RICHARD: Do you still have your cream of mushroom and brown rice dish?

****

WAITER: Yes we do.

****

RICHARD: I'll have that.

****

LORELAI: I will have a cheeseburger, fries, coffee and a piece of apple pie.

****

RORY: Same for me.

****

EMILY: [_After a pause_] Just some chicken noodle soup, please.

****

WAITER: Cup or bowl?

****

EMILY: You serve soup in a cup? [_She shoots RICHARD a look_] I'll have a bowl.

****

WAITER: Okay, then. [_Exits_]

****

LORELAI: This might be the best eatery in New Haven.

****

RORY: It's reminiscent of Luke's.

****

LORELAI: But not quite Luke's.

****

RORY: Will the real Luke's please stand up?

****

EMILY: What on earth are you two talking about?

****

LORELAI: And there's no Jess here.

[_Silence_]

****

RORY: I hope their coffee's good.

****

RICHARD: It is.

****

LORELAI: It was. Thirty-five years ago.

****

EMILY: I wonder if it's sanitary in that kitchen.

****

RICHARD: I'm sure it is, Emily.

****

RORY: The health board would be in here if it weren't.

****

RICHARD: Quite right.

****

RORY: Thanks for this trip, Grandpa.

****

RICHARD: It was no trouble.

****

EMILY: None at all, dear.

****

LORELAI: Well, it could have been later in the morning.

[_All three look at her_]

****

RORY: I'll have to come here.

****

RICHARD: Glad I could recommend it.

****

EMILY: Rory, dear, don't you want something a bit…cleaner?

****

RORY: I like it here.

****

LORELAI: It's my influence.

****

RORY: Was it like this when you went to school, Grandpa?

****

RICHARD: Well, they had different furniture…different wait staff…but yes, it's quite close.

****

RORY: Did you come here with friends?

****

RICHARD: It's kind of a solitary café.

****

RORY: True.

****

EMILY: My God. This tablecloth is filthy.

[_LORELAI rolls her eyes. RICHARD smiles indulgently. RORY giggles_]

[_Int. Gilmore house. Afternoon. RICHARD and EMILY'S car pulls up and RORY and LORELAI start getting out_]

****

RORY: Thank you both.

****

EMILY: It was our pleasure.

****

RICHARD: Good to see the old campus again.

****

LORELAI: Yeah, thanks, Mom, Dad.

****

EMILY: We'll see you on Friday.

****

RICHARD: Ah, yes. Jorina and Jacob are still planning on dinner?

****

LORELAI: As far as I know.

****

EMILY: We're looking forward to it.

****

LORELAI: I'm sure you are, Mom.

[_RORY gently shoves LORELAI out_]

****

RORY: Bye Grandma, Grandpa.

****

RICHARD: Goodbye.

[_RORY and LORELAI go up the steps and into the house as RICHARD and EMILY pull away_]

****

LORELAI: That was awful.

****

RORY: I thought it was kind of fun.

****

LORELAI: You would, bookworm.

****

RORY: Come on, it wasn't that bad.

****

LORELAI: I should have stayed home with the apocalypse.

****

RORY: Fine, don't admit it.

****

LORELAI: Six straight hours of my parents…makes me wonder how I lived.

****

RORY: I imagine that lots of caffeine was involved.

****

LORELAI: [_smiling wistfully_] Until I discovered the Valium.

****

RORY: That must have been a great day.

****

LORELAI: Small nations still celebrate it.

****

RORY: I think I'm gonna meet Jess.

****

LORELAI: I should get to the inn.

****

RORY: Bye, Mom. [_RORY kisses her on the cheek_]

****

LORELAI: Bye, hon. Movies tonight?

****

RORY: Yeah. Whatever you want.

****

LORELAI: I'll get some on my way home.

****

RORY: Hey, Mom?

****

LORELAI: Yeah?

****

RORY: Did you ever think about the construction?

****

LORELAI: [_smiles tightly_] Yeah, I'm working on it.

****

RORY: Good. Bye, then.

****

LORELAI: Have fun.

[_RORY waves on her way out the door and LORELAI sighs and slumps on the couch, her head in her hands_]

[_Int. Independence Inn. LORELAI walks in, dressed in different clothes for work. MICHEL is at the desk, looking bored_]

****

LORELAI: Hey, Michel.

****

MICHEL: Finally you are back.

****

LORELAI: What's been happening?

****

MICHEL: Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

****

LORELAI: Well, then, that can't be all bad.

****

MICHEL: I have seen the same guests over and over again.

****

LORELAI: Then you'll have great descriptions for the police report.

****

MICHEL: And Sookie will not make me a simple tossed salad…a little Romaine lettuce, some cherry tomatoes, baked, sliced turkey, fat-free bran croutons…it is not so much to ask.

****

LORELAI: Go to Luke's.

****

MICHEL: That disgusting greasy place?

****

LORELAI: Or stay here.

[_LORELAI takes a large black folder and goes back into the kitchen where SOOKIE is preparing dinner_]

****

SOOKIE: Aah! You're back. How was it?

****

LORELAI: Both painful and hideous.

****

SOOKIE: Oh, tell.

****

LORELAI: Sookie, six hours with my parents.

****

SOOKIE: You had Rory.

****

LORELAI: She was too busy oohing and aahing over the campus with my dad.

****

SOOKIE: At least she liked it.

****

LORELAI: She would have liked Harvard too.

****

SOOKIE: Ah, hon, I think you just need to let the Harvard thing go.

****

LORELAI: [_Sighs_] I know. It's tough, though. It's like my parents are invading my life again. And my dad took us to this tiny little hole-in-the-wall café and Rory loved it.

****

SOOKIE: So?

****

LORELAI: So they're luring her over to the dark side!

****

SOOKIE: In a café?

****

LORELAI: [_Imitating RICHARD_] "Glad I could recommend it."

****

SOOKIE: Lorelai, Rory's always going to like you best.

****

LORELAI: [_Pauses_] I know. It's just…I hate seeing her slip into my parents' life so easily.

****

SOOKIE: She loves you.

****

LORELAI: Maybe I'm overreacting just a little.

****

SOOKIE: A smidge.

****

LORELAI: So, what's cooking? No tossed salads, I take it.

****

SOOKIE: [_Smiles_] Actually, I'm making a nice one tonight. Romaine lettuce, cherry tomatoes, baked, sliced turkey, some croutons…

[_Fade out on LORELAI and SOOKIE talking in the kitchen_]

[_Second commercial break_] 

[_Int. Chilton. Monday morning. RORY is at her locker when PARIS walks up_]

****

PARIS: I saw him again.

****

RORY: Saw…oh, Joel.

****

PARIS: Yes, Joel.

****

RORY: So…how was it?

****

PARIS: Good.

****

RORY: Just good?

****

PARIS: Okay, perfect.

****

RORY: Good. What did you do?

****

PARIS: We went skiing.

****

RORY: Wow. I didn't know you skied.

****

PARIS: My parents took me every winter.

****

RORY: Oh.

****

PARIS: And he's taking me to New York to see Rockefeller Center over break.

****

RORY: That's really great, Paris.

****

PARIS: Yeah.

[_They start walking to class_]

****

PARIS: [_con't_] What are you doing?

****

RORY: Over break?

****

PARIS: Yeah.

****

RORY: Just hanging out at home.

****

PARIS: Oh.

****

RORY: The town usually has a Christmas festival.

****

PARIS: Right.

[_Pause_]

****

RORY: So, how bad do you think this AP bio final is going to be?

****

PARIS: I studied.

****

RORY: So did I.

****

PARIS: So we're prepared.

****

RORY: Right. It's just, you know, finals are usually hard.

****

PARIS: Finals are hard to the people who don't bother to crack a textbook all semester, much less study for the exam.

****

RORY: Okay then.

[_They turn into the classroom and take seats across from each other. MADELINE and LOUISE start walking in_]

****

PARIS: Hey, Rory? Could you do me a favor?

****

RORY: Sure.

****

PARIS: Don't mention Joel to Madeline or Louise.

****

RORY: Okay.

****

PARIS: Good.

[_MADELINE and LOUISE sit down, making a square of RORY, PARIS, MADELINE and LOUISE_]

****

LOUISE: And then it was the bathroom floor.

****

MADELINE: My God, wasn't that uncomfortable?

****

LOUISE: My back wasn't the same all weekend.

****

MADELINE: Wow.

****

LOUISE: But the rugs in the basement gave me this awful rug burn. [_She turns and MADELINE lifts her sweater and shirt up just a little in the back_]

****

MADELINE: Ouch.

[_LOUISE turns back around_]

****

LOUISE: But when you just can't resist someone…

****

PARIS: So I guess you had an interesting weekend, Louise.

****

LOUISE: I sure did. [_Smirks_] And how about you, Paris? I bet you studied hard for this test.

****

PARIS: Of course.

****

MADELINE: I studied.

****

RORY: I did too.

****

LOUISE: I had more…pressing matters to attend to.

****

PARIS: I imagine.

****

LOUISE: I don't think you'd quite understand.

****

RORY: [_Obviously averting an argument_] What's everyone doing over break?

****

MADELINE: My stepdad's taking us to Hawaii.

****

LOUISE: I've got…plans.

****

PARIS: Oh, what? A field somewhere?

****

LOUISE: And I'll bet you're going to do something really exciting.

****

PARIS: [_Looking at RORY_] I'm going to New York.

****

MADELINE: Really? Why?

****

PARIS: Just vacation.

****

LOUISE: [_Sneering_] With your parents?

****

PARIS: [_Still looking at RORY_] Yeah.

****

LOUISE: Ah.

****

RORY: I bet it'll be fun, though.

****

PARIS: I think it will.

[_They smile at each other_]

****

LOUISE: And what about you, Rory? Tending to the farm?

****

RORY: You're in luck. We've got plenty of nice open fields.

[_MADELINE giggles. PARIS smirks. LOUISE grins_]

[_Int. Independence Inn. LORELAI is leaning on the counter, talking on the phone_]

****

LORELAI: Look, I understand, but I really need this construction…Okay, sir, see, I see where you have qualms, but this inn will be up and running and _profitable_ in no time. See, our chef is Sookie St. James, who's one of the best chefs on the East Coast…Right, okay, but…No, I understand. But I do believe that we could have this loan paid back in full in less than two years…Well, yes, I realize that's a pretty, uh, "cocky" estimation, but this inn can't help but be successful…Okay. Right…Thanks for your time.

[_LORELAI hangs up, sighs, and goes into the kitchen_]

****

LORELAI: [_con't_] Well, another one bites the dust.

****

SOOKIE: Oh, poor girl.

****

LORELAI: Sinking to using Queen references.

****

SOOKIE: Is that all of them?

****

LORELAI: There's a promising place on the Internet that tells me that for a small fee, I can have someone else's identity.

****

SOOKIE: Worth a try, I guess.

****

LORELAI: I hope I get to pick my identity. I don't want to be Tom Daschle.

****

SOOKIE: [_Giggles_] Or Michael Jackson.

****

LORELAI: Ew.

****

SOOKIE: [_Serious_] So what are we going to do?

****

LORELAI: Just…let me think a little.

****

SOOKIE: Are you going to ask your parents?

****

LORELAI: Not just yet.

****

SOOKIE: Well, get back to me.

****

LORELAI: I will.

[_LORELAI goes back out into the lobby, which is totally deserted. She stands in the middle of it while the camera pulls away_]

[_Int. Luke's. Early evening. JESS is upstairs reading when the phone rings_]

****

JESS: Hello? [_Silence_] Hello?

****

LIZ: Hi.

****

JESS: Oh.

****

LIZ: Hi. [_JESS says nothing_] How are you?

****

JESS: [_Stiffly_] Fine.

****

LIZ: That's good. [_Pause_] And Luke?

****

JESS: Same.

****

LIZ: And, um, Rory?

****

JESS: Good.

****

LIZ: Well, good.

****

JESS: What do you want?

****

LIZ: I just wanted to talk to you.

****

JESS: Oh, uh-huh.

****

LIZ: See how school's going.

****

JESS: Fine.

****

LIZ: Luke tells me you're doing really well.

****

JESS: Fine.

****

LIZ: He said you've only got one C.

****

JESS: Yep.

****

LIZ: That's great.

****

JESS: I guess.

****

LIZ: So, how's Stars Hollow?

****

JESS: [_Sarcastically_] Really super.

****

LIZ: Do you like it?

****

JESS: Whatever.

****

LIZ: [_Clears her throat_] Do you want to…come back? To New York?

****

JESS: [_Pause_] No.

****

LIZ: Oh. Okay.

****

JESS: Why are you calling, Mom?

****

LIZ: I just wanted to see how you were doing.

****

JESS: Now?

****

LIZ: Well, yes.

****

JESS: You don't call for months and now you want to see how I'm doing.

****

LIZ: Jess. Don't be like this.

****

JESS: Like what?

****

LIZ: Like you.

****

JESS: Nice talking to you.

****

LIZ: Wait!

****

JESS: What?

****

LIZ: Do you want to come visit? For Christmas? [_Pause_] You can take Rory with you.

****

JESS: No.

****

LIZ: It's the holidays.

****

JESS: That seemed to mean a lot last year.

****

LIZ: Jess, I was—

****

JESS: Busy.

****

LIZ: I just couldn't last year.

****

JESS: Well, I just can't this year.

****

LIZ: Luke can come too.

****

JESS: What, do you suddenly live in Donald Trump's apartment?

****

LIZ: We'd figure it out.

****

JESS: No.

****

LIZ: Don't you even want to ask Rory or Luke?

****

JESS: Why are you pushing this? Because as far as I can remember, you put me in this piss ant town because you didn't want anything to do with me.

****

LIZ: That's not true.

****

JESS: Yeah.

****

LIZ: It's not. I just couldn't handle you anymore.

****

JESS: Maybe if you had bothered to pay attention you could have.

****

LIZ: I'm sorry, all right?

****

JESS: Yeah, whatever.

****

LIZ: Jess, please come.

****

JESS: Now you want me there so badly you're begging.

****

LIZ: [_Quietly_] It's getting lonely.

****

JESS: Huh.

****

LIZ: Consider it.

****

JESS: Yeah.

****

LIZ: You can call me back and tell me.

****

JESS: Great.

****

LIZ: Well…

****

JESS: Bye.

****

LIZ: Merry Christmas.

****

JESS: Bye.

[_He hangs up and tries to read but ends up just staring at the page. LUKE comes in_]

****

LUKE: You meeting Rory tonight?

****

JESS: Don't know.

****

LUKE: Well, didn't she just call?

****

JESS: No.

****

LUKE: Who did?

****

JESS: Liz.

****

LUKE: Oh.

****

JESS: You're invited for Christmas.

****

LUKE: I'll keep that in mind.

****

JESS: Great.

****

LUKE: Jess, are you okay?

****

JESS: [_Standing_] Fine. [_He starts to leave_]

****

LUKE: Back by ten, then, I guess.

[_JESS just leaves and LUKE stands in the kitchen, looking at the door, kind of troubled_]

[_Int. Gilmore house. Later that day. JESS walks up the stairs and knocks on the door. RORY answers_]

****

RORY: Hi!

****

JESS: Hey.

****

RORY: Come in. I was just studying.

****

JESS: Of course.

****

RORY: You want a drink?

****

JESS: No thanks.

****

RORY: We have Pop-Tarts, an apple, and two slices of pizza.

****

JESS: I'm good.

****

RORY: Well, okay.

[_She leads him to the couch. The coffee table is strewn with binders, papers, pens, highlighters, etc._]

****

JESS: Looks like you've been having a party.

****

RORY: A really great British Lit party.

****

JESS: Ah. Where's Lorelai?

****

RORY: With Grayer. She's getting, uh, briefed on dinner this week.

****

JESS: [_Smirks_] I see.

****

RORY: Her words, not mine.

****

JESS: I thought as much.

****

RORY: It's definitely a Lorelai thing to say.

[_Pause_]

****

JESS: What happened to Lane?

****

RORY: What?

****

JESS: I mean, she hasn't been in school lately.

****

RORY: Really?

****

JESS: Nope.

****

RORY: I haven't heard from her in a while.

[_Silence. With all the small talk over, they just sit and look at each other until JESS leans forward and kisses RORY. They kiss becomes more and more intense until they are lying on the couch. JESS reaches for the hem of RORY'S shirt and she doesn't protest. He starts taking it off, but RORY'S eyes open and she squirms_]

****

RORY: Jess. Stop.

[_With a sigh, JESS stops and his head drops so that it lands in the hollow between her neck and shoulder_]

****

RORY: It's not…I can't…Not now.

****

JESS: [_From her shoulder, muffled_] Fine.

****

RORY: Are you mad?

****

JESS: [_Still muffled_] No.

[_RORY takes his chin and lifts his head up. She can tell something's wrong, but she doesn't ask and kisses him instead_]

[_Cut to about an hour later. RORY and JESS are still horizontal on the couch, kissing, until RORY breaks away after a minute_]

****

RORY: Jess…

****

JESS: [_Kissing her neck_] What?

****

RORY: I need to study.

****

JESS: It's only seven-thirty.

****

RORY: I know, but I have a lot of ground to cover.

****

JESS: [_Lifting his head_] Come on, Rory.

****

RORY: Jess, I really have to study. This final is twenty percent of my grade.

****

JESS: Fine. [_He gets off of her and she sits up_]

****

RORY: You can stay.

****

JESS: Trust me, I understand when I'm not wanted.

****

RORY: You're wanted. [_Smiling shyly_] You're wanted a lot.

****

JESS: [_Hesitant_] Maybe I'll just find a book or something.

****

RORY: You know where they are.

****

JESS: Okay.

[_RORY watches him disappear down the hall, a tiny smile on her face. She takes a binder and opens it, carefully highlighting her notes_]

[_Int. Gilmore living room. Next morning. RORY and JESS are sound asleep, RORY on the couch, JESS in the chair with a book in his lap. The phone rings, but neither hears it_]

****

LUKE: [_On the answering machine_] Jess? Rory? Lorelai? You there? … Okay, well, call me. Come home, Jess.

[_RORY starts to wake up slowly, unearthing herself from piles of papers, obviously groggy. She blinks and looks down at herself, still wearing yesterday's clothes. She sees JESS in the chair but it doesn't register. Yawning, she looks at her watch. Mid-yawn she quits and hops up off the couch_]

****

RORY: [_Loudly_] Oh my God!

****

JESS: [_Half-asleep, but startled_] What?

****

RORY: It's eight-thirty. Mom? [_No answer_] Mom? [_Still no answer_]

****

JESS: What's going on?

[_RORY runs upstairs to get her mother up, but LORELAI'S room is empty_]

****

RORY: [_Running back downstairs_] Oh no. [_She bolts into her room and gets dressed at warp speed then runs out into the living room and frantically stuffs things in her backpack_]

****

JESS: [_Stretching and getting up_] Why the rush?

****

RORY: School's already started!

****

JESS: [_Nods outside_]

[_RORY looks up. There's a mountain of snow, completely covering most everything. We see the Gilmore mailbox, but not the pole_]

****

RORY: Oh…

[_She stops packing her backpack and sees the machine blinking, and hits play_]

****

LORELAI: [_On machine_] Hey, Rory, it's Mom. It's snowing really hard, so I think I'm going to stay at Grayer's tonight. We'll see about the morning. Study hard, sweetie.

****

LUKE: [_On machine_] Jess? Rory? Lorelai? You there? … Okay, well, call me. Come home, Jess.

****

RORY: I better turn on the news. [_She shivers_] It's cold.

[_Grabbing a blanket, she motions for JESS to come sit with her on the couch. She turns on the news_]

****

REPORTER: …one of the biggest snowstorms in Connecticut history…The Department of Transportation today advising no travel in the state—

****

RORY: So I guess that means no school. I've never had a snow day at Chilton.

****

JESS: Looks like you might get two.

****

RORY: After tomorrow, there's break.

****

JESS: So it's a long break.

****

RORY: What about finals?

****

JESS: They'll probably just waive them.

****

RORY: [_Rolls her eyes_] You better call Luke and tell him you're here.

****

JESS: He knows.

****

RORY: You should call, Jess.

****

JESS: In a minute…

[_He leans over and aims for her lips. She smiles and lets him wrap himself around her, kissing her_]

[_Cut to mid-morning. JESS is digging in the Gilmores' kitchen_]

****

JESS: Do you have any real food at all?

****

RORY: We used to.

****

JESS: And?

****

RORY: I think it expired about three years ago.

****

JESS: Come on, Rory, you have to have something. An egg.

****

RORY: [_Looks in the fridge_] Nope.

****

JESS: Canned soup?

****

RORY: Mom's afraid of the canned goods aisle ever since the clam chowder gave her a threatening look.

****

JESS: Did it ever occur to your mother to get medication?

****

RORY: We determined that it didn't help anyway.

****

JESS: There has to be something. [_He looks in all the cupboards and sighs_] Okay, you have Pop-Tarts, coffee, stale doughnuts, Moon Pies, Twinkies, popcorn and some sort of rotting, diseased vegetable or fruit.

****

RORY: Oh, I've been meaning to throw that out.

****

JESS: What was that?

****

RORY: I can't remember anymore.

****

JESS: That's it. I'm going to Luke's and getting something.

****

RORY: Jess, there's four feet of snow.

****

JESS: It's either freeze or starve.

****

RORY: I'm assuming you're picking "freeze."

****

JESS: Yep. [_He kisses her cheek_] You coming?

****

RORY: I'm gonna stick around here in case my mom calls.

****

JESS: You want me to bring you something?

****

RORY: Please.

****

JESS: Okay. 

[_They kiss once again and he leaves. RORY throws the mystery food in the trash with a disgusted look on her face_]

[_Second commercial break_]

[_Int. Gilmore house. Same day, evening. LORELAI pulls up in the Jeep and hops out, then runs in the front door_]

****

LORELAI: Rory!

****

RORY: Mom!

[_They hug_]

****

LORELAI: My baby girl!

****

RORY: Mom, we've been separated for less than twenty-four hours.

****

LORELAI: It seems like more.

****

RORY: College.

****

LORELAI: Ah! Don't. [_She looks at the coffee table, which is still covered in study materials_] Looks like you had fun last night.

****

RORY: I fell asleep about nine, I think, and when I woke up, I was all panicky because school had already started but then it was a snow day…

****

LORELAI: Good to get that adrenaline pumping.

****

RORY: How was your date?

****

LORELAI: Extended.

****

RORY: Extended good or extended bad?

****

LORELAI: Extended good. _Really_ good.

****

RORY: Mom.

****

LORELAI: Babe, you've seen _9½ Weeks_.

****

RORY: You're my _mom_.

****

LORELAI: And?

****

RORY: Kim Basinger isn't.

****

LORELAI: So, how was you day off?

****

RORY: Good. Peaceful. I've just been studying.

****

LORELAI: Sounds like a blast.

[_Pause. RORY looks troubled. She bites her lip and looks sidelong at LORELAI_]

****

RORY: Mom?

****

LORELAI: Yeah?

****

RORY: Jess spent the night.

****

LORELAI: I…what?

****

RORY: Not like that. I mean, I was studying and he was reading and we fell asleep. He was in the chair.

****

LORELAI: Rory, maybe you should have said that first. Now I have to listen to those commercials about prescriptions for heart conditions.

****

RORY: Sorry.

****

LORELAI: But nothing happened?

****

RORY: No, nothing happened.

****

LORELAI: Okay. Good.

****

RORY: And he brought breakfast.

****

LORELAI: He walked to Luke's? In this?

****

RORY: He tried to find food in here, but there isn't any.

****

LORELAI: We wouldn't be Gilmores if there was.

****

RORY: Exactly.

[_Silence_]

****

LORELAI: Hey, Rory?

****

RORY: Yeah?

****

LORELAI: [_Puts her arm around RORY_] Thanks for telling me.

****

RORY: [_Resting her head on LORELAI'S shoulder_] You're welcome.

[_Int. Luke's. Same day, late evening. JESS is working, filling coffee, while LUKE is behind the counter. The phone rings_]

****

LUKE: [_On phone_] Luke's.

****

LIZ: Hi.

****

LUKE: [_Looking cautiously for JESS_] Liz.

****

LIZ: How are you?

****

LUKE: Liz…?

****

LIZ: I called to see if Jess gave any more thought to Christmas.

****

LUKE: [_Quietly_] Liz, I don't think so.

****

LIZ: He's not coming.

****

LUKE: No.

****

LIZ: He hates me.

****

LUKE: You'd have to talk to him about that.

****

LIZ: He won't talk to me.

****

LUKE: It's busy, Liz. Now's not the time.

****

LIZ: Fine. 

****

LUKE: Fine.

[_He hangs up. JESS is right beside him_]

****

JESS: She harassing you too?

****

LUKE: You heard that?

****

JESS: I'm not deaf.

****

LUKE: Guess the music hasn't taken full effect yet.

****

JESS: So?

****

LUKE: So what?

****

JESS: So what did she want?

****

LUKE: She wanted to know if you were coming for Christmas.

****

JESS: And?

****

LUKE: And I said no.

****

JESS: Good.

****

LUKE: She wants you to come.

****

JESS: Why?

****

LUKE: Because you're her son?

****

JESS: Please.

****

LUKE: Please what?

****

JESS: Please. She hasn't cared for eighteen years.

****

LUKE: [_Sighs. Caesar hands a plate through and LUKE hands it to JESS_] Table by the window.

****

JESS: Great. [_He takes the plate and hands it to the customer, then comes back behind the counter_]

****

LUKE: Maybe she wants to see you.

****

JESS: Yeah. That must be it.

****

LUKE: Come on, Jess.

****

JESS: Why?

****

LUKE: It's Christmas.

****

JESS: I'll send a card. A Hallmark one.

****

LUKE: Fine. Don't deal with this. That seems to be your way.

****

JESS: Excuse me?

****

LUKE: Never mind. 

****

JESS: It's my break.

****

LUKE: Bye.

[_JESS grabs his jacket and leaves. RORY and LORELAI walk in next, shivering_]

****

LORELAI: [_Sitting at the counter_] Super-extra-hot coffee.

****

RORY: And make it a double.

****

LUKE: Here you go.

****

LORELAI: Ahh.

****

RORY: Ahh.

****

LUKE: Anything with that?

****

LORELAI: An "ooh" would be nice.

****

LUKE: You're on your own.

****

RORY: I'll have a cheeseburger.

****

LORELAI: And pie!

****

RORY: And fries.

****

LUKE: Got it. [_He hands the order back to Caesar_]

****

RORY: [_Looking around the diner_] Where's Jess?

****

LUKE: [_Nods outside_] Break.

****

RORY: Oh.

****

BABETTE: [_Yelling across the diner_] Lorelai!

****

LORELAI: [_Looking at her_] Be right back. Don't eat my food.

****

RORY: No guarantees.

[_LORELAI leaves to go talk to BABETTE_]

****

LUKE: [_Uncomfortable_] So, Jess spent the night.

****

RORY: Sorry. We fell asleep. [_Pause_] I was studying.

****

LUKE: Oh. [_Sighs_] He was pretty upset.

****

RORY: Upset?

****

LUKE: Oh, you know, with his mom calling all the time

****

RORY: [_Confused, but hiding it_] Right, yeah.

****

LUKE: Nothing, uh… [_He trails off and waves his hand_] He didn't…?

****

RORY: [_Blushing_] No.

[_LORELAI comes back_]

****

LORELAI: Babette and a snow blower, a combination I've tried to avoid my whole life.

****

RORY: That sounds about as traumatizing as Austin Powers with floss.

****

LORELAI: You have no idea. She was just way too in love with it. "I just love _powerful_ machinery…"

[_LORELAI'S voice fades out. RORY is staring at the wall, upset and a little angry_]

[_Int. Mansion. RORY and LORELAI climb out of the Jeep, looking a little nervous. RORY keeps smoothing her skirt_]

****

RORY: I didn't think this would turn into a big…gathering.

****

LORELAI: Grayer said they wanted to meet you.

****

RORY: At least Grandma and Grandpa are here.

****

LORELAI: Good for you. Not for me.

****

RORY: Maybe we should go in.

****

LORELAI: We're not late yet.

****

RORY: Do we want to be late?

****

LORELAI: It's called playing hard to get.

****

RORY: Mom…

****

LORELAI: Fine. 

[_They walk up to the front door in silence and wait until the maid opens the door_]

****

MAID: Rory and Lorelai?

****

LORELAI: Or Lorelai and Lorelai.

****

MAID: Come in.

[_RORY and LORELAI step inside and the MAID leads them into the living room, where GRAYER, JORINA, JACOB, RICHARD and EMILY are seated_]

****

EMILY: Lorelai, Rory! Wonderful.

****

GRAYER: Hi, you two. [_He stands and kisses LORELAI, whispering in her ear; she grins. He leads RORY to a seat between him and LORELAI_] Mom, Dad, this is Lorelai and Rory. Lorelai, Rory, these are my parents, Jorina and Jacob.

****

LORELAI: It's nice to meet you.

[_RORY is nervous; she just smiles_]

****

JACOB: [_Chuckling_] Doesn't she speak?

****

GRAYER: Of course she speaks.

****

RORY: I speak.

****

JORINA: Well, we've cleared that up. [_She turns to EMILY and RICHARD_] I didn't her remember being so…old.

****

LORELAI: Me? [_She looks to GRAYER, who shakes his head_]

****

EMILY: Rory…Christopher Hayden's daughter.

****

JORINA: Ah.

****

LORELAI: I don't have…other children.

****

JORINA: Well.

****

RICHARD: This Rory's as smart as a whip.

****

EMILY: She certainly is. She's going to Yale.

****

JORINA: You have connections there, am I correct, Richard?

****

RICHARD: Well, yes, but Rory doesn't need them. She's a four-point-oh student at Chilton.

****

JACOB: Excellent school. I attended many moons ago.

****

JORINA: Isn't that rather inconveniencing? After all, you do live in that tiny little town.

****

RORY: [_After making sure no one else will answer_] It's not so bad.

****

JORINA: [_Smiling fakely_] Well.

****

GRAYER: [_Shooting his mother a look_] So, Mother, Lorelai manages an inn.

****

JORINA: Yes, Emily said something about that. What is it called?

****

LORELAI: The Independence Inn.

****

JORINA: Seems rather fitting.

****

LORELAI: I'm sorry?

****

JORINA: I understand you're a very…independent girl.

****

GRAYER: Mother.

****

EMILY: Lorelai has done very well for herself.

****

JORINA: You must be _so_ proud.

****

RICHARD: [_Warningly_] We are.

****

JACOB: Say, is dinner ready yet?

****

JORINA: I was having the maid set an extra place. I didn't realize that Lorelai's girl would be coming.

****

GRAYER: [_Annoyed_] Her name is Rory and she's sitting right here.

****

JORINA: In any event, the maid is setting a last-minute place.

****

EMILY: The house looks lovely, Jorina.

****

JORINA: Our decorator costs a fortune, it had better.

****

JACOB: So true.

****

JORINA: [_To RORY, interrogatively_] What do you plan to do in college?

****

RORY: [_Caught off-guard_] Oh, well, I'm planning on majoring in political science and journalism.

****

JORINA: To do…?

****

RORY: Reporting. International news reporting.

****

JACOB: That sounds fascinating.

****

JORINA: War trenches are no place for a well-bred woman.

****

LORELAI: No, they're a place for a smart woman.

****

JORINA: Are you implying that one cannot be well-bred _and_ smart?

****

LORELAI: I said nothing like that.

****

GRAYER: Mother, stop this.

****

JORINA: Stop what?

****

GRAYER: Stop harassing Rory.

****

JORINA: I am merely asking the girl some questions.

****

GRAYER: For Christ's sake, her name is Rory.

****

JORINA: Rory, how do you feel about your mother giving up all her potential for you?

****

RORY: I—

****

RICHARD: That's quite enough, Jorina.

****

JACOB: I agree, Jorina. That was a bit harsh.

****

JORINA: I'm just curious.

****

EMILY: Rory has no fault in this situation.

****

LORELAI: You—

****

GRAYER: Let's just eat.

****

JORINA: I don't understand you, Grayer.

****

GRAYER: I know that.

****

JORINA: Why would you date a woman with a fully-grown child?

****

LORELAI: Rory is not a child anymore.

****

EMILY: You seemed perfectly pleased to set them up, Jorina.

****

JORINA: I didn't think this little…fling would last.

****

GRAYER: Enough!

****

JORINA: Dating this woman who has already marked herself scarlet with a child who dragged her away from all that is proper—

****

RORY: [_Angry_] My mother isn't "scarlet"!

****

LORELAI: Rory, honey, it's okay.

****

JORINA: Then what do you call having a child out of wedlock?

****

GRAYER: Jesus Christ, Mother! You said you wouldn't do this.

****

JORINA: Do what?

****

GRAYER: You're attacking them.

****

RICHARD: Without reason, may I add.

****

GRAYER: Rory is a great kid, Mother.

****

JORINA: How redeeming.

****

RORY: I'm sick of this. [_She stands and turns to her mother_] Can I have the keys?

****

LORELAI: [_She digs them out of her purse_] Bye, hon. I'll see you at home.

****

RORY: Okay. Bye. [_She turns to JORINA and JACOB_] Thanks.

****

JACOB: [_Apologetically_] I hope Yale works for you.

****

RORY: Thank you. Bye Grandma, bye Grandpa.

****

GRAYER: I'll walk you out.

[_GRAYER glares at his parents and follows RORY out_]

[_Cut to Gilmore Jeep. RORY and GRAYER are standing by the driver's side door_]

****

GRAYER: Rory, I'm so terribly sorry.

****

RORY: It's not your fault.

****

GRAYER: I honestly didn't think my mother would attack you.

****

RORY: It's happened before.

****

GRAYER: That doesn't make it excusable.

****

RORY: Really, it's okay.

****

GRAYER: I would storm out too.

****

RORY: Did I storm?

****

GRAYER: You were close.

****

RORY: Wow.

****

GRAYER: Look, you didn't deserve any of that, okay? You're the coolest kid I know.

****

RORY: [_Looking at her hands_] Thanks.

****

GRAYER: I'm gonna go back to the lion's den. Drive safe, okay? There's a lot of ice.

****

RORY: I will.

****

GRAYER: Okay. Bye.

[_GRAYER watches her pull out of the drive, waving, then goes back inside, looking upset_]

[_Int. Luke's. RORY pulls up in the Jeep and parks at the curb, then walks inside. The diner is completely dead, and LUKE nods upstairs. RORY mounts the steps and knocks on the apartment door_]

****

JESS: [_Opening the door_] Hey.

****

RORY: Hi. Can I come in?

[_JESS moves aside_]

****

JESS: I thought tonight was the big dinner.

****

RORY: It was.

****

JESS: Didn't last very long.

****

RORY: Not for me.

****

JESS: Was it one of those reality-TV show dinners where they vote people off?

****

RORY: [_Tersely_] No.

****

JESS: Okay.

****

RORY: [_Sits on JESS' bed. Upset_] They hated me.

****

JESS: Grayer's parents?

****

RORY: They asked me how it felt to have taken away my mother's potential.

****

JESS: I don't think that was your fault.

****

RORY: Of course it was. My mother would be doing a lot more than managing an inn now if I hadn't been born.

****

JESS: [_Sits next to her_] Then I suppose your parents shouldn't have forgotten the condom.

****

RORY: I guess. [_She looks at her hands_] Jess?

****

JESS: Yes?

****

RORY: Why didn't you tell me your mother had been calling?

****

JESS: How did you find out about that?

****

RORY: It doesn't matter.

****

JESS: It matters to me.

****

RORY: Luke accidentally told me, thinking you already had.

****

JESS: Super.

****

RORY: So why didn't you?

****

JESS: What's the point?

****

RORY: What does that mean?

****

JESS: It means that I'm not going back to New York so it doesn't matter.

****

RORY: But you were upset.

****

JESS: Not really.

****

RORY: You were. I could tell when you came over Monday.

****

JESS: Fine. And if I had told you?

****

RORY: We could have talked about it.

****

JESS: I'll get a therapist, thanks.

****

RORY: Why don't you want to talk to me?

****

JESS: I do.

****

RORY: Not about anything important.

****

JESS: Literature is important.

****

RORY: Fine. Be like that. [_She stands_]

****

JESS: What, now you're pissed at me because I don't want to get psychoanalyzed?

****

RORY: I'm pissed at you because you don't even want to tell me anything. I might as well be Luke.

****

JESS: I don't kiss Luke.

****

RORY: Try it.

[_She leaves, angry. "Save Me," by Aimee Mann plays. JESS runs his hand through his hair and sighs raggedly, then falls backwards on the bed_]

[_Int. Gilmore house. LORELAI and GRAYER pull up in his car. LORELAI gets out and goes inside, where RORY is lying on the couch in her dress clothes_]

****

LORELAI: Rory?

****

RORY: Hi, Mom. How was dinner?

****

LORELAI: Those people are awful. [_She sits next to RORY_] How are you?

****

RORY: Fine.

****

LORELAI: Baby, you know they were wrong, right?

****

RORY: Yeah.

****

LORELAI: That didn't sound too convincing.

****

RORY: Good enough for a lie detector test.

****

LORELAI: Honey, that woman was stupid. She didn't know what she was talking about.

****

RORY: Come on, Mom. Would you be managing an inn if you hadn't had me?

****

LORELAI: No.

****

RORY: See?

****

LORELAI: I'd be a Vassar graduate wearing pearls and going to charity balls and gossiping.

****

RORY: Yeah, right.

****

LORELAI: I'd rather be managing an inn and have the best daughter in the world than be in that woman's social circle any day. I don't regret _anything_, Rory.

****

RORY: Not even one?

****

LORELAI: Not even one. I love you, kid.

****

RORY: Love you too, Mom.

****

LORELAI: Good. You still look a little mopey.

****

RORY: I'm not.

****

LORELAI: You totally have Nicole-Kidman-_Hours_ type look.

****

RORY: It's nothing. Just residual mopiness from dinner.

****

LORELAI: Okay then. This calls for one thing.

****

RORY: Coffee?

****

LORELAI: Okay, two things. Coffee … and … [_Long pause_] _Footloose_!

****

RORY: [_Grinning_] Mom.

****

LORELAI: If Kevin Bacon dancing around town in the tightest jeans known to man with an '80s soundtrack doesn't cheer you up, nothing will.

****

RORY: Plug it in.

****

LORELAI: If you insist.

[_Third commercial break_]

[_Int. Gilmore house. Morning. RORY and LORELAI are moving around groggily_]

****

LORELAI: I hate working Saturdays.

****

RORY: When you get your own inn, you're going to be working seven days a week.

****

LORELAI: Yeah, but it'll be _mine_. [_She sips her coffee and picks up her purse_]

****

RORY: Have a good time.

****

LORELAI: Have a good talk with Jess.

****

RORY: What?

****

LORELAI: You had a fight.

****

RORY: How can you tell?

****

LORELAI: You've got an I-fought-with-Jess look.

****

RORY: I have a specific look?

****

LORELAI: Yep.

****

RORY: That's not good.

****

LORELAI: But much more convenient for me. [_She opens the door_] Bye, hon. I'll be back about six-ish, I hope.

****

RORY: Bye, Mom.

[_Frowning, RORY sits at the table and drinks her coffee, looking into space_]

[_Int. Luke's. Mid-morning. LORELAI is walking up, looking determined. She lets herself in and sits at the counter_]

****

LUKE: Coffee?

****

LORELAI: Please.

****

LUKE: So… I heard you met the parents.

****

LORELAI: How?

****

LUKE: Jess.

****

LORELAI: Little gossip.

****

LUKE: How'd that go?

****

LORELAI: They totally insulted Rory and threw me dirty looks the whole time.

****

LUKE: Hmm.

****

LORELAI: I think my parents had fun.

****

LUKE: Well, good. [_Pause_] Anything to go with that?

****

LORELAI: Uh… no thanks. But thanks.

****

LUKE: Okay. [_Pause_] How's the inn?

****

LORELAI: It's… it's… [_She pauses and tries to gather the courage to ask for help, but can't_] It's going pretty good.

****

LUKE: Well, good.

****

LORELAI: I'm just glad I've finally got my own place.

****

LUKE: What's Mia doing with the Independence?

****

LORELAI: [_Guiltily_] I haven't really… told her about it yet.

****

LUKE: Oh.

****

LORELAI: But soon.

****

LUKE: Before you quit?

****

LORELAI: Of course. [_Looks at her empty cup_] Uh, I better go.

****

LUKE: Well, okay.

****

LORELAI: Probably see you… tonight. For dinner.

****

LUKE: Okay.

****

LORELAI: You might see Rory first, though.

****

LUKE: Bye, Lorelai.

****

LORELAI: Bye.

[_LORELAI walks out. LUKE looks after her for a minute, then shakes his head and goes back to work. He walks into the storeroom and sees no pickles. He marches over by the stairwell_]

****

LUKE: [_Yelling_] Jess!

****

JESS: What?

****

LUKE: I told you to order this week!

****

JESS: Whoops.

****

LUKE: We're out of pickles.

****

JESS: Huh.

****

LUKE: Get down here.

[_JESS appears at the curtain_]

****

JESS: Yes?

****

LUKE: I gave you a list of what to order.

****

JESS: I guess I forgot about the pickles.

****

LUKE: You know what, just… here. [_He shoves him behind the counter_] Now, I am going to go and get us some pickles. Just stand here.

****

JESS: Okay, Uncle Luke.

****

LUKE: I'll be right back.

[_LUKE grabs his coat and leaves. JESS leans his elbows on the counter_]

[_Cut to Doose's. LUKE opens the door as a woman is coming out. Her groceries fall and LUKE leans over to help her pick them up_]

****

LUKE: I'm sorry.

****

WOMAN: That's okay.

****

LUKE: You didn't have eggs, did you?

****

WOMAN: No, no eggs. I'm a vegan.

****

LUKE: Oh, well. [_He throws some veggies in the bag_] Sorry about that.

[_They both straighten up_]

****

WOMAN: It's fine.

****

LUKE: Okay.

[_Neither moves_]

****

WOMAN: I'm Lindsay. Lindsay Manning.

****

LUKE: Hi. [_They shake hands_] Luke Danes.

****

LINDSAY: Nice to meet you.

****

LUKE: Same here.

****

LINDSAY: So, do you always walk into buildings without looking?

****

LUKE: Not normally.

****

LINDSAY: So I'm a special occasion.

****

LUKE: You might be an inaugural occasion.

****

LINDSAY: What an honor.

****

LUKE: [_Clears his throat_] So, a vegan, huh?

****

LINDSAY: My parents were hippies. They were against red meat and all for the acid.

****

LUKE: Oh. [_Nods to the bag_] So, what else have you got in there?

****

LINDSAY: [_Laughs. Looks him over_] Are you free tonight?

****

LUKE: Excuse me?

****

LINDSAY: For dinner. Tonight.

****

LUKE: Oh, well… sure. Sure.

****

LINDSAY: Great!

****

LUKE: Uh, when?

****

LINDSAY: How about seven? We can go to Red's in Bridgeport.

****

LUKE: Okay.

****

LINDSAY: Okay, then. I'll meet you there.

****

LUKE: Seven.

****

LINDSAY: Right. [_She smiles_]

****

LUKE: Sorry about the…bag thing.

[_Cut to diner. Meanwhile. RORY walks into the empty restaurant and sits at a barstool across from JESS_]

****

JESS: Hey.

****

RORY: Hey. Coffee?

****

JESS: Here.

****

RORY: [_Takes a long sip_] Sorry.

****

JESS: For what?

****

RORY: I kind of went overboard last night. I was upset and I took it out on you.

****

JESS: It happens.

****

RORY: But I do wish you would have told me.

****

JESS: Noted.

****

RORY: Good. [_Pause_] You didn't actually try kissing Luke did you?

****

JESS: [_Grins secretively_] Virgin ears.

****

RORY: Ew.

****

JESS: Hey, don't judge.

****

RORY: [_Laughs. Sips her coffee_] What are you doing tonight?

****

JESS: Nothing.

****

RORY: There's a huge sale at Borders.

****

JESS: Good thing they run buses at night, then.

****

RORY: You'll come?

****

JESS: If Luke decides to give me the night off.

****

RORY: Good.

****

JESS: Any word from Lane?

****

RORY: She called me this morning from her jail cell. Her mom found out about the drums and she's so mad, Lane's not even allowed to go to school.

****

JESS: Wow.

****

RORY: It's comforting to know I'm not the only person who overreacts.

****

JESS: Isn't it?

[_LUKE comes in, carrying a bag of pickles_]

****

LUKE: Jess, you're working tonight. Hi, Rory.

****

RORY: Hi.

****

JESS: [_Looks sidelong at RORY_] Hot date?

****

LUKE: Dinner.

****

JESS: _You_ have a date?

****

LUKE: [_Indignant_] Yes, I have a date.

****

JESS: Who?

****

LUKE: None of your business.

****

JESS: I have never seen you have a date.

****

LUKE: Then I guess you're in for a show. [_He thrusts the pickles at JESS_] Here. Stock those.

[_JESS takes the pickles back to the storeroom. RORY follows_]

****

JESS: I guess Borders will have to wait.

****

RORY: That's okay.

****

JESS: Have you ever seen Luke on a date?

****

RORY: Only Rachel.

****

JESS: Rachel?

****

RORY: Rachel.

****

JESS: Huh.

[_He shoves the pickles onto the shelf. When he turns around, RORY is standing right there. She wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him. He kisses her back fervently. They start meandering around the storeroom until JESS accidentally backs RORY into a shelf and sends it toppling. They look at each other and grin_]

****

LUKE: Jess!

[Int. Independence Inn. Late afternoon. LORELAI is getting ready to go when SOOKIE comes up]

****

SOOKIE: Lorelai?

****

LORELAI: Yeah?

****

SOOKIE: I've got bad news.

****

LORELAI: Just what I need.

****

SOOKIE: That's why I waited until now.

****

LORELAI: [_Sighs_] Okay, let's hear it.

****

SOOKIE: I can't get the money either.

****

LORELAI: No loan?

****

SOOKIE: They wouldn't give it to me. The house isn't enough collateral.

****

LORELAI: Just great.

****

SOOKIE: I think we only have a couple options left.

****

LORELAI: My parents are a no.

****

SOOKIE: Then we have to ask Luke and the town to pitch in.

****

LORELAI: [_Glumly_] I guess so.

****

SOOKIE: Do you think he'll do it?

****

LORELAI: I don't know, Sookie. I tried asking him this morning, but I just couldn't.

****

SOOKIE: Do you want me to?

****

LORELAI: No, no, that's all right. I'll do it.

****

SOOKIE: Soon.

****

LORELAI: Soon. I promise.

****

SOOKIE: Okay. [_Pause_] Lorelai?

****

LORELAI: What?

****

SOOKIE: what if he says no?

****

LORELAI: Then we re-group.

****

SOOKIE: Does re-grouping include asking your parents?

****

LORELAI: I don't know.

****

SOOKIE: Well, okay.

****

LORELAI: I think I'm heading out.

****

SOOKIE: Me too.

[_LORELAI kisses SOOKIE'S cheek_]

****

LORELAI: Talk to you later.

****

SOOKIE: Okay, honey. Bye.

****

LORELAI: Bye.

[_Int. Luke's. Evening. RORY and LORELAI are walking up, bundled up in coats_]

****

LORELAI: So you and Jess made up.

****

RORY: Let me guess. I have an I-made-up-with-Jess face too.

****

LORELAI: Bingo.

****

RORY: Are you asking?

****

LORELAI: Uh…

****

RORY: Because he's in a good mood today.

****

LORELAI: Luke? In a good mood?

****

RORY: Well, okay, a moderately non-confrontational mood.

****

LORELAI: Why?

****

RORY: Oh, um, his date.

****

LORELAI: [_Surprised and a little hurt_] Luke has a date?

****

RORY: Sorry.

****

LORELAI: That's okay, sweetie.

****

RORY: In all fairness, he did say no more waiting.

****

LORELAI: That's true.

****

RORY: So anyway, it's probably a good time to ask him.

****

LORELAI: [_Fakely_] Yeah.

[_They go inside. LUKE is making new coffee; JESS is wiping tables down. RORY and LORELAI sit at a table near the window_]

****

LUKE: What do you want?

****

LORELAI: Burger.

****

RORY: Me too.

****

LUKE: Fries?

****

LORELAI: Not for me.

****

RORY: I'll have some.

****

LUKE: And I can only assume you want coffee.

****

RORY: Yep.

****

LUKE: Death on a platter and in a cup.

****

LORELAI: We like variety.

[_LUKE walks away. A second later, JESS comes with coffee. LORELAI sips hers morosely while RORY and JESS communicate across the diner_]

****

LORELAI: I can't do this.

****

RORY: Yes, you can.

****

LORELAI: It feels wrong.

****

RORY: You and Luke are still friends.

****

LORELAI: No, we're friends in that "I don't really want to, but I should be polite" kind of way.

****

RORY: Mom, you have to.

****

LORELAI: Being an adult bites.

****

RORY: Come on, you want this inn. And if you don't want to ask Grandma and Grandpa, then this is it.

****

LORELAI: Thank you, Voice of Reason.

****

RORY: Anytime.

****

LORELAI: Before or after food?

****

RORY: Well, there's no one at the counter now.

****

LORELAI: Right. [_She takes a huge gulp of coffee and looks at RORY, who nods. LORELAI gets up and goes to the counter_]

****

LUKE: You're at the counter.

****

LORELAI: Astute.

****

LUKE: Having a fight?

****

LORELAI: No.

****

LUKE: Okay, then.

****

LORELAI: Luke?

****

LUKE: Yeah?

****

LORELAI: I need to… ask you a favor.

****

LUKE: And…

****

LORELAI: You know what inn I bought?

****

LUKE: The one you've been yammering about for a year? Yeah, I know.

****

LORELAI: And today, when I said it was going great?

****

LUKE: Yeah…

****

LORELAI: I kinda lied. [_Takes a deep breath_] I can't get a loan to save my life. Sookie and I have both tried, and no bank will give us money to fix this thing. And I can't ask my parents. They paid for Rory's school and for my house and for Yale, and I can't let them pay for anything else. So, I'm asking you to please… [_Pause_] Please, help me out with some of the construction.

[_Silence_]

****

LORELAI: [_Con't_] I'll pay you and everything. Not as much as those really expensive construction companies, but as much as I can. Please, Luke.

****

LUKE: Lorelai, I have a date tonight.

****

LORELAI: I know.

****

LUKE: I'm moving on.

****

LORELAI: I know. I'm just asking for your help, as a friend.

****

LUKE: As a friend.

****

LORELAI: As a friend.

****

LUKE: I'll take a look at it tomorrow.

****

LORELAI: [_Eyes water_] Thanks, Luke.

****

LUKE: [_Gruffly_] You're welcome.

[_"You've Got a Friend," by James Taylow plays. Zoom out on LUKE and LORELAI at the counter_]

[_End of episode_] 

  
  
  
  



	9. I Am Ready for Love

****

Season 3: Version B

By **columbiachica** (kat2005)

****

Author's Note: Thank you to all of you who review. I appreciate it. I put a lot of time and effort into writing them and I really enjoy reading feedback. Also, thank you to **StewPid **for recommending this.

****

Dedications: To many people: **Kate**, **Chris**, and **Elise** for supporting me in my search of an ego, **Hadar** for always making me grin, **Marissa** for encouragement, and **emrie** because she's such a great person and writer, and always an inspiration.

****

Featured Music:

"This Year's Love," David Gray

"Emergency Dispatch," No Use For a Name

"Walking By," Something Corporate

****

"I Am Ready for Love"

ANNOUNCER: Previously on _Gilmore Girls_…

[_Cut to RORY, LORELAI, EMILY, and RICHARD at the Yale campus_]

****

RORY: Did you live on campus the whole time you went here?

****

RICHARD: Oh, yes. A lot of people do. It's a wonderful environment.

****

LORELAI: But you don't have to.

[_Cut to LOUISE, MADELINE, PARIS, and RORY at Chilton_]

****

LOUISE: And I'll bet you're going to do something really exciting.

****

PARIS: [_Looking at RORY_] I'm going to New York.

****

MADELINE: Really? Why?

****

PARIS: Just vacation.

****

LOUISE: [_Sneering_] With your parents?

****

PARIS: [_Still looking at RORY_] Yeah.

****

LOUISE: Ah.

****

RORY: I bet it'll be fun, though.

****

PARIS: I think it will.

[_They smile at each other_]

[_Cut to LIZ and JESS on the phone_]

****

LIZ: Do you want to come visit? For Christmas? [_Pause_] You can take Rory with you.

****

JESS: No.

****

LIZ: It's the holidays.

****

JESS: That seemed to mean a lot last year.

[_Cut to LORELAI, RORY, GRAYER, JORINA, JACOB, EMILY, and RICHARD at dinner_]

****

JORINA: I am merely asking the girl some questions.

****

GRAYER: For Christ's sake, her name is Rory.

****

JORINA: Rory, how do you feel about your mother giving up all her potential for you?

****

RORY: I—

****

RICHARD: That's quite enough, Jorina.

****

JACOB: I agree, Jorina. That was a bit harsh.

****

JORINA: I'm just curious.

[_Cut to LORELAI and LUKE at the counter_]

****

LORELAI: [_Con't_] I'll pay you and everything. Not as much as those really expensive construction companies, but as much as I can. Please, Luke.

****

LUKE: Lorelai, I have a date tonight.

****

LORELAI: I know.

****

LUKE: I'm moving on.

****

LORELAI: I know. I'm just asking for your help, as a friend.

****

LUKE: As a friend.

****

LORELAI: As a friend.

****

LUKE: I'll take a look at it tomorrow.

****

LORELAI: [_Eyes water_] Thanks, Luke.

****

LUKE: [_Gruffly_] You're welcome.

[_Int. Late morning. Dragonfly Inn. LUKE'S pickup is parked outside, alongside LORELAI'S Jeep. Pan inside, where LORELAI and LUKE are standing in the soon-to-be lobby_]

****

LUKE: We can get started on some of the indoor stuff.

****

LORELAI: We?

****

LUKE: The whole town is going to want to help, of course.

****

LORELAI: I am not letting Kirk within one hundred feet of this inn.

****

LUKE: Andrew will want to pitch in. And Rune, of course.

****

LORELAI: Aah! No way!

****

LUKE: And Babette with some more "powerful machinery."

****

LORELAI: My delicate female mind can't take it.

****

LUKE: I mean, Dan and Ron and I can probably do most of the work. But the town will want to help.

****

LORELAI: Do we have to tell them? [_LUKE gives her a look_] Okay, they can paint.

****

LUKE: I know a wholesaler in Hartford you can get some cheap flooring from.

****

LORELAI: I just need to decide what flooring.

****

LUKE: Plus, it's after Christmas, so it'll be really cheap.

****

LORELAI: I think I'll put wood in the lobby.

****

LUKE: Laminate would be good.

****

LORELAI: You think?

****

LUKE: Scratch resistant, looks like wood, you can mop it…

****

LORELAI: [_Laughs_] Mop.

****

LUKE: Well, unless you get a housekeeper on day one.

****

LORELAI: [_Sits on the floor. LUKE sits as well_] It's really happening.

****

LUKE: Yep.

****

LORELAI: I can't believe this. I mean, it's been my dream since…well, since after the ballerina dream fizzled and the '80s pop icon went down the tubes…this has been it.

****

LUKE: '80s pop icon?

****

LORELAI: Come on, don't tell me you didn't want to be part of WHAM!

****

LUKE: Not really, no.

****

LORELAI: I even had Tiffany hair.

****

LUKE: I'm glad you moved on to this dream.

****

LORELAI: Yeah. It's a nice dream. [_Pause_] How was your date?

****

LUKE: Which one?

****

LORELAI: There's been more than one?

****

LUKE: Well, yeah. There was the first one three weeks ago, and there's been four since.

****

LORELAI: Oh.

****

LUKE: They were all good.

****

LORELAI: That's good. [_Pause_] So, come on, what's she like?

****

LUKE: [_Looks uncomfortable_] I don't know, she's got…hair.

****

LORELAI: [_Laughs_] Hair? Not some synthetic plant growing out of her head? Tell me, Luke, does she also have skin?

****

LUKE: [_Glares_] Her name's Lindsay. She's a vegan animal rights activist attorney.

****

LORELAI: A lawyer?

****

LUKE: Yeah. A lawyer. [_Notices LORELAI'S look_] What?

****

LORELAI: I just never saw you with a lawyer.

****

LUKE: She doesn't even own a suit.

****

LORELAI: Does she wear flannel to work?

****

LUKE: [_Glares_] No.

****

LORELAI: [_Serious_] I'm glad it's going well.

****

LUKE: Well…thanks. [_Pause_] How's…Grayer?

****

LORELAI: He's good.

****

LUKE: Good.

****

LORELAI: Rory likes him.

****

LUKE: That's good.

[_Pause_]

****

LORELAI: [_Stands up_] Thanks for doing this, Luke.

****

LUKE: Sure.

****

LORELAI: I mean it, this means a lot to me. I couldn't have done this without you.

****

LUKE: [_Clears his throat_] So, I'll write down that wholesaler's address for you, and you and Sookie can go take a look.

****

LORELAI: Sounds good.

****

LUKE: And Sookie should come in soon, tell us what she wants to do with the kitchen.

****

LORELAI: I'll tell her.

****

LUKE: Okay.

****

LORELAI: Thanks again.

****

LUKE: See you tomorrow.

****

LORELAI: Tonight.

****

LUKE: Date.

****

LORELAI: Oh.

****

LUKE: But tomorrow.

****

LORELAI: Yeah, sure, tomorrow it is.

[_They walk out to LUKE'S truck together in silence. LORELAI looks preoccupied_]

****

LUKE: I think this is really gonna happen for you.

****

LORELAI: I think so too.

****

LUKE: Have you talked to Mia?

****

LORELAI: [_Lying_] Um, yeah.

****

LUKE: And?

****

LORELAI: She said she'd call me back.

****

LUKE: Oh. Well.

****

LORELAI: Yeah. [_LUKE looks anxious_] Well, um, I'll see you…tomorrow.

****

LUKE: Yeah, tomorrow.

[_He climbs in his truck and drives off, leaving LORELAI standing in front of the inn. La-la's play. Zoom out to show how small she is in comparison_]

[_Opening Credits_]

[_First commercial break_]

[_Int. Dragonfly Inn. Late afternoon, a week later. Many people are there, helping out with the inn's construction. LORELAI is standing with SOOKIE in the kitchen while LUKE takes down their plans_]

****

SOOKIE: I think the stove should go over here.

****

LUKE: There's no ventilation over there.

****

SOOKIE: Can't we put new ventilation in?

****

LUKE: That costs.

****

SOOKIE: So I'm stuck with the stove over there.

****

LUKE: Yep.

****

SOOKIE: Okay, then we can put a big island counter right there.

****

LUKE: Wait, what about that corner?

****

SOOKIE: Which corner?

****

LUKE: The one you wanted to put the stove in.

****

SOOKIE: Oh, well, I don't know. What do you think, Lorelai?

****

LORELAI: Your kitchen, Sook.

****

SOOKIE: Hmm. I assume the ovens have to go by the stove.

****

LUKE: That's where the oven vents are.

****

SOOKIE: I guess we could put some cooling racks over there.

****

LUKE: Okay.

****

SOOKIE: And I want a nice wide counter all along here. And pot hooks on the ceiling.

****

LUKE: Got it.

****

SOOKIE: Anything else?

****

LORELAI: Asking me?

****

SOOKIE: Yeah.

****

LORELAI: I don't know. Just sleep on it, I guess.

****

LUKE: We're gonna try to start doing the kitchen tomorrow, building counter space and cabinets.

****

SOOKIE: The wholesale place said the countertop would be in by Monday.

****

LUKE: Okay. I'll tell Dan.

****

SOOKIE: Hey, have you seen Jackson?

****

LORELAI: No…

****

SOOKIE: I hope he's not trying to help.

****

LORELAI: Why?

****

SOOKIE: His experiences with power tools…

****

LORELAI: …not so great?

****

SOOKIE: Not really. That's how he got that scar on his leg.

****

LORELAI: That scar is huge.

****

SOOKIE: I know.

****

LORELAI: Okay, then. [_Turns to LUKE_] Thanks, Luke.

****

LUKE: Sure. I should get back to the diner. I left Caesar alone.

****

LORELAI: Okay.

****

LUKE: See you.

****

LORELAI: Bye.

[_LUKE leaves and SOOKIE stands in front of LORELAI_]

****

SOOKIE: You two seem okay.

****

LORELAI: I'm not. 

****

SOOKIE: You seem okay.

****

LORELAI: He's got a girlfriend.

****

SOOKIE: Luke?

****

LORELAI: No, Boy George. Of course Luke.

****

SOOKIE: Wow. He hasn't been with anyone since—

****

LORELAI: Rachel.

****

SOOKIE: Have you met her?

****

LORELAI: No. [_Sighs_] She's a vegan animal-rights activist attorney.

****

SOOKIE: Wow.

****

LORELAI: Not "wow"!

****

SOOKIE: I mean, ooh.

****

LORELAI: A little better.

****

SOOKIE: What did you want me to say?

****

LORELAI: Damn liberals.

****

SOOKIE: Okay. Damn liberals.

****

LORELAI: Thank you.

****

SOOKIE: How long has this been going on?

****

LORELAI: I don't know. [_Pause_] Three weeks.

****

SOOKIE: How come no one else knows about it?

****

LORELAI: It's Luke.

****

SOOKIE: Good point. I wonder how they met.

****

LORELAI: I don't know.

****

SOOKIE: Well, that's good for Luke. I mean, you've got Grayer.

****

LORELAI: [_Uncertainly_] Yeah.

****

SOOKIE: That didn't sound good.

****

LORELAI: What?

****

SOOKIE: Your "yeah".

****

LORELAI: It was fine.

****

SOOKIE: You two are still together, right?

****

LORELAI: Yeah, of course.

****

SOOKIE: Break-up dance.

****

LORELAI: There is no break-up dance.

****

SOOKIE: Your hips are swaying.

****

LORELAI: They are not!

****

SOOKIE: Okay, if you say so.

****

LORELAI: I do. [_Silence_] I do!

[_Cut to RORY and JESS in a deserted upstairs hallway. RORY is painting; JESS is in a bathroom, fixing the sink_]

****

RORY: How was school?

****

JESS: Same.

****

RORY: Jess…

****

JESS: What?

****

RORY: Your history test!

****

JESS: Oh, that.

****

RORY: Did you get it back?

****

JESS: Yeah.

****

RORY: And…?

****

JESS: And it came.

****

RORY: Jess! [_She puts her roller down and goes into the bathroom_] Come on.

****

JESS: [_Slides out from under the sink_] It might have been an A.

****

RORY: Might have?

****

JESS: It was.

****

RORY: You got an A?

****

JESS: [_Standing_] No need to sound so incredulous.

****

RORY: Jess, that's amazing!

****

JESS: I guess.

****

RORY: It is.

****

JESS: Better than an F, I guess.

****

RORY: It's great.

[_RORY launches forward and kisses him, forgetting she has paint on her hands. She runs her fingers through his hair and the kiss deepens. JESS starts walking her backward, but RORY breaks away_]

****

RORY: Have you seen my mom lately?

****

JESS: Everyone's downstairs, watching the flooring.

****

RORY: Sure?

****

JESS: Sure.

[_RORY kisses him again, leading him into an empty bedroom. There's an old, dilapidated chair in there and a dresser with a broken mirror. RORY turns them around so JESS is headed for the chair. He sits and RORY sits on top of him, continuing to kiss him_]

****

JESS: Rory—

****

RORY: Shh, be quiet.

[_They kiss again. RORY reaches for the hem of his top shirt and pulls that off, followed shortly by his second, leaving him bare-chested. She runs her hands down his shoulders, chest, and abdomen and JESS groans. RORY shifts positions so she straddles him_]

****

RORY: How's that A looking now?

****

JESS: Really good.

[_RORY and JESS smile at each other, then keep kissing. JESS tugs her shirt off and kisses her shoulder. RORY makes him kiss her mouth and twines their fingers together, leaning into him. JESS reaches around her back and unclasps her bra, shoving the straps down her shoulders. RORY leans into him, pressing their torsos together, and JESS leans down and kisses her shoulder blade. His hand starts wandering south, and RORY jumps when he touches her_]

****

RORY: Oh my God.

****

JESS: Sorry.

****

RORY: Someone's gonna walk in on us.

****

JESS: We're safe.

****

RORY: Are you kidding? Half of Stars Hollow is less than fifty yards away. [_She searches for her bra_]

****

JESS: [_Handing her the bra_] Here.

****

RORY: Thanks.

****

JESS: For what it's worth…

****

RORY: What?

****

JESS: I think I'll try for those A's.

****

RORY: [_Grins_] Good. [_They kiss. RORY breaks apart to put her bra on and quickly yanks her shirt on. JESS puts his shirts on too. RORY stands up and vacates his lap_] I should probably get back to painting.

****

JESS: I should probably get to the diner.

****

RORY: Okay. [_She kisses him and breaks away before the kiss can get as heated as before_] I can't believe I did that. [_Pause_] Miss Patty would be so proud.

****

JESS: Oh God.

****

RORY: [_Giggles, then hits him lightly on the shoulder_] Get back to work.

****

JESS: I'll see you tonight.

****

RORY: Bye. 

[_They kiss one more time, then go in the hallway and separate. After a few seconds, RORY catches up with JESS, turns him around, and plants one on him. Surprised, he drops his screwdriver on the floor to wrap his arms around her. With a little groan, RORY backs away_]

****

RORY: Bye.

****

JESS: [_Grins_] Don't you mean "welcome home"?

[_RORY rolls her eyes, but smiles. JESS kisses her cheek and walks down the stairs. RORY goes back to her paint and sighs_]

[_Int. Dragonfly Inn. Late that night. RORY and LORELAI are cleaning up a little, both tired_]

****

RORY: I can't believe how much _stuff_ there is here.

****

LORELAI: It's like Luke dumped his old apartment in here.

****

RORY: And then Kirk moved in with his toy chest.

****

LORELAI: That's it. I can't do it anymore. Let's go home.

****

RORY: Yeah, we'll just have to get it out again tomorrow.

****

LORELAI: [_Sighs_] I hope this ends soon.

****

RORY: Hey, your dream.

****

LORELAI: Don't remind me.

[_They start walking out to the Jeep_]

****

RORY: So, is it weird?

****

LORELAI: Is what weird?

****

RORY: Luke.

****

LORELAI: Not really.

****

RORY: That's good.

[_Pause_]

****

LORELAI: It's really weird.

****

RORY: I knew it.

****

LORELAI: I don't know what to say anymore. I'm a shell of my former, witty self.

****

RORY: I can see that.

****

LORELAI: Hey!

****

RORY: Well…

****

LORELAI: My own flesh and blood.

****

RORY: I'm just saying, you look weird.

[_They climb into the Jeep_]

****

LORELAI: I _look_ weird?

****

RORY: When you stand by him.

****

LORELAI: Weird how?

****

RORY: Like you don't know what to do with your hands.

****

LORELAI: I know what to do with my hands.

****

RORY: If you say so.

****

LORELAI: Why would you think otherwise?

****

RORY: Well, it's just that you keep moving them around. In your pockets. Crossed. Behind your back. On your hips. Et cetra, et cetra.

****

LORELAI: Really?

****

RORY: Really.

[_Pause_]

****

LORELAI: I noticed you didn't come and watch the flooring spectacular.

****

RORY: I was painting.

****

LORELAI: Jess didn't either.

****

RORY: Did you take roll?

****

LORELAI: I'm just saying…

****

RORY: Saying what?

****

LORELAI: The two of you…deserted inn…

****

RORY: Mom!

****

LORELAI: Well…

****

RORY: I was painting. Jess was fixing the sink. End of story.

****

LORELAI: The very end?

****

RORY: [_Somewhat guiltily_] The very end.

****

LORELAI: Well, Miss Patty has a different ending.

****

RORY: Doesn't she always?

****

LORELAI: When it comes to you and Jess? Of course.

[_Pause_]

****

LORELAI: So Dean came.

****

RORY: What?

****

LORELAI: To help out. Dean came.

****

RORY: Oh.

****

LORELAI: He said he'd come by, see if he could help out.

****

RORY: Oh.

****

LORELAI: And I said that that'd be great.

****

RORY: Oh.

****

LORELAI: Suddenly, you've become as wordy as a star in a Chaplin film.

****

RORY: I don't know what to say.

****

LORELAI: Look, hon, I know things were kind of ugly at the end, but it might be time to consider being friends.

****

RORY: [_Uncomfortably_] I guess.

****

LORELAI: Unless you think Jess would object.

****

RORY: Jess isn't my problem.

****

LORELAI: No?

****

RORY: No, Jess isn't the problem.

****

LORELAI: Then what is?

****

RORY: It's just weird.

****

LORELAI: It always is, sweetie.

****

RORY: Great.

****

LORELAI: So, fair warning.

****

RORY: Thanks.

[_RORY rests her chin in her hand and looks out the window. LORELAI glances over and her and smiles very slightly, kind of nostalgically. She pats RORY'S shoulder_]

[_Int. Chilton. Next morning. RORY is by her locker looking very groggy. PARIS walks up_]

****

PARIS: Do you have your chem notes?

****

RORY: [_Caught off-guard_] What?

****

PARIS: Your chem notes. Do you have them?

****

RORY: Um… [_Digs through her backpack_] Yeah. 

****

PARIS: Can I borrow them?

****

RORY: I'm sorry…what?

****

PARIS: Can I borrow your notes?

****

RORY: I, um…sure. [_She hands them over_] You were in class.

****

PARIS: Yes.

****

RORY: So…

****

PARIS: I just got a little distracted.

****

RORY: [_Raises her eyebrow_] Distracted?

****

PARIS: [_Gives RORY a dirty look_] Yes, okay?

****

RORY: So things are going good.

****

PARIS: Really good.

****

RORY: Paris, that's really great.

****

PARIS: I guess.

****

RORY: Really, I mean it.

****

PARIS: [_Almost shyly_] Thanks.

****

RORY: So, how was Rockefeller Center?

****

PARIS: It was great. We went up a little early because of the snow days.

****

RORY: Sounds good.

****

PARIS: I've never actually gotten a thrill out of looking at a Christmas tree.

****

RORY: I imagine.

****

PARIS: But it was huge.

****

RORY: Thus the basis of the attraction.

[_LOUISE and MADELINE approach them. PARIS shoots RORY a look_]

****

LOUISE: You two look buddy-buddy.

****

PARIS: We were talking about chemistry.

****

LOUISE: Right. Those molecular bond calculations are pretty exciting.

****

PARIS: I'm surprised you know what we're working on.

****

LOUISE: Ellis helps me out. [_She winks at MADELINE_]

****

MADELINE: Hey, Rory, you've got something in your hair.

****

RORY: What?

[_They stop and MADELINE brushes at RORY'S hair_]

****

MADELINE: I think it's paint.

****

LOUISE: Trying your hand at oils?

****

RORY: No, not exactly. Thanks, Madeline.

****

MADELINE: Sure.

****

PARIS: So why _do_ you have paint in your hair?

****

RORY: Oh, my mom and I have a project going on.

****

LOUISE: Pray tell.

****

RORY: [_Reluctantly_] My mom's redoing an old inn that she's going to open.

****

MADELINE: Wow, that's so cool. 

****

PARIS: Really?

****

LOUISE: The Bates?

****

RORY: Not quite.

****

PARIS: You didn't mention anything before break.

****

RORY: We weren't sure it was going to work out.

****

MADELINE: My mom has a personal decorator. I can give you the number if you want.

****

RORY: Oh, thanks, but we're doing it.

****

LOUISE: All of it?

****

RORY: All of it.

[_The bell rings_]

****

PARIS: Calculus. [_She and RORY go down one hallway; LOUISE and MADELINE, another. PARIS is quiet and walking very quickly_]

****

RORY: Paris?

****

PARIS: What?

****

RORY: Why are we walking so fast?

****

PARIS: Don't walk this fast if you don't want to.

****

RORY: Are you mad about something?

****

PARIS: Why would I be?

****

RORY: I don't know.

[_PARIS stops suddenly_]

****

PARIS: Were you going to tell me?

****

RORY: About the inn?

****

PARIS: Yes.

****

RORY: Eventually. Sure.

****

PARIS: What, you just don't want to share with me?

****

RORY: Paris, what?

****

PARIS: I share things with you. You share things with me. That's how these things work.

****

RORY: Friendships?

****

PARIS: Relationships where the two participants don't despise each other.

****

RORY: Sorry.

****

PARIS: Fine.

****

RORY: I didn't think you'd care.

****

PARIS: I do.

****

RORY: [_Smiles_] Okay then.

****

PARIS: Why wouldn't it have worked out?

****

RORY: [_Uncomfortable_] Oh, well… my mom and I were having some issues with the construction.

****

PARIS: It's falling apart?

****

RORY: No, it just needs some touch up. That costs money.

****

PARIS: So just ask your grandparents.

****

RORY: It's not that simple.

****

PARIS: [_Pause_] Okay.

****

RORY: Is that all?

****

PARIS: I guess.

****

RORY: So we can go to class now, then?

****

PARIS: Yeah.

****

RORY: And Paris?

****

PARIS: Yeah?

****

RORY: Don't forget to take notes this time.

[_Both PARIS and RORY smile a little bit. They continue on to class_]

[_Second commercial break_]

[_Int. Bus stop. Afternoon. RORY climbs off in her uniform, looking tired. JESS is waiting on the bench_]

****

RORY: [_Pleasantly surprised_] Hi.

****

JESS: Hey. Here. [_He hands her coffee_]

****

RORY: What are you doing here?

****

JESS: Your bus pulls up here.

****

RORY: I know that. You just don't usually come.

****

JESS: [_Shrugs_] Yeah.

****

RORY: So?

****

JESS: Just…came.

****

RORY: Okay. [_She sips her coffee_] How was school?

****

JESS: [_Smirks_] I got another A.

****

RORY: [_Looks embarrassed_] Oh.

****

JESS: I'm kidding.

****

RORY: About the A?

****

JESS: Yeah.

****

RORY: [_Looking into the distance_] Okay.

****

JESS: You all right?

****

RORY: Huh? Yeah.

****

JESS: You're kind of spacing off.

****

RORY: I'm not spacing off.

****

JESS: If you say so.

[_Pause_]

****

RORY: Are you going to the inn tonight?

****

JESS: Caesar's day off.

****

RORY: So you're working.

****

JESS: Yes, I'm working.

****

RORY: Oh.

****

JESS: [_Kisses her cheek_] You can come see me, though.

****

RORY: I think I actually need to get some painting done.

****

JESS: Okay.

[_They reach the bridge and JESS stops_]

****

RORY: What?

****

JESS: Nothing.

****

RORY: We're stopped.

****

JESS: Yes.

****

RORY: Is there a reason?

[_Pause_]

****

JESS: You said you wanted me to tell you.

****

RORY: Tell me what?

****

JESS: About my mom.

****

RORY: Oh. Yeah.

****

JESS: She called.

****

RORY: When?

****

JESS: Yesterday.

****

RORY: Okay. [_Pause_] About…

****

JESS: About seeing me.

****

RORY: [_Enthusiastically_] That's great!

****

JESS: No, it's not.

****

RORY: It's not?

****

JESS: No.

****

RORY: Oh.

****

JESS: I thought you'd want to know.

****

RORY: I do. Why don't you want to see her?

****

JESS: My mother and I are not like you and your mother.

****

RORY: Not many people are.

****

JESS: Look, I don't want to get into this.

****

RORY: Okay. [_Pause_] Thanks for telling me.

****

JESS: [_Shrugs_] Sure.

****

RORY: So can we get a move on?

****

JESS: [_Pause_] Yeah, okay.

[_RORY stands on her toes and kisses him lightly on the lips. They start walking toward the Gilmore house. They don't walk for long before it starts raining_]

****

RORY: It's too cold to rain!

****

JESS: Ugh, it's sleet.

****

RORY: Run.

[_She grabs JESS' hand and pulls him along behind her and they run through some backyards up to the Gilmore porch. RORY is giggling_]

****

JESS: I saw a Gilmore run.

****

RORY: Tell Luke all about it.

****

JESS: He'd just say I'm making it up.

[_RORY lets them in. It's deserted. There's a message light_]

****

RORY: I bet that's my mom. [_She hits the button_]

****

LORELAI: [_On machine_] Hey, Rory, it's Mom. I'm at the Independence until six, and then I'm going to the Dragonfly for a while. If you finish your homework early, come by, okay? There's pizza money in the kitchen.

****

JESS: She gives you pizza money?

****

RORY: Yeah…

****

JESS: Why? Don't you rob the pizza place too?

****

RORY: Hey, I have connections at Luke's. [_She kisses JESS_]

****

JESS: Yeah, and Winona has connections at Saks.

[_They kiss again. JESS takes RORY'S coat off, then her sweater. When he reaches for the waistband of her skirt to pull her shirt out, RORY stiffens and they break apart_]

****

RORY: Jess, about the other day.

****

JESS: [_Sighs and backs away_] Great.

****

RORY: What?

****

JESS: We're back to square one.

****

RORY: What's wrong with square one?

****

JESS: Nothing.

****

RORY: So don't get mad.

****

JESS: Been talking with Lorelai again?

****

RORY: [_Agitated_] I talk to her all the time. She's my mother.

****

JESS: Jesus, Rory, I'm not Dean, okay?

****

RORY: So that's your excuse for every crappy thing you do to me?

****

JESS: Every "crappy" thing?

****

RORY: Yeah.

****

JESS: Like what? Like actually wanting to do more than kiss you? Forgive me for being a teenager.

****

RORY: For not respecting me when I tell you that I don't want to.

****

JESS: I didn't push it, Rory.

****

RORY: So what, I should thank my lucky stars you're not a rapist? What is wrong with you?

****

JESS: You're not the only person in this relationship.

****

RORY: Duh.

****

JESS: You're not the only one who wants things.

****

RORY: Excuse me?

****

JESS: Come on, Rory.

****

RORY: Come on what?

****

JESS: Look, you tell me to go to a stupid party, I go. You tell me that you want to put a moratorium on kissing, I do. You want me to tell you things, I tell.

****

RORY: What's your point?

****

JESS: I don't ask you for a lot.

****

RORY: So because you go to a party that we never went to or because you once upon a time humored me in my ridiculous request not the kiss so much, I should just sleep with you? That's what you're saying?

****

JESS: [_Frustrated_] No!

****

RORY: Then what are you saying? Because I'm completely confused.

****

JESS: I want you to come to New York with me!

[_Silence_]

****

RORY: What?

****

JESS: My mother has talked Luke into ordering me to New York and I want you to come.

****

RORY: [_Sits on the couch_] Oh.

****

JESS: [_Sits next to her_] Yeah.

****

RORY: When?

****

JESS: Next weekend.

****

RORY: I guess I'd have to ask my mom.

****

JESS: Fine.

****

RORY: You could have just asked me.

****

JESS: I know.

****

RORY: Why do things always turn into a fight?

****

JESS: If you go to New York with me, you can blame me.

****

RORY: Now there's an incentive. [_Pause_] You're not mad about the…other thing?

****

JESS: No.

****

RORY: You sure?

****

JESS: I maintain that pregnancy can't occur without actual penetration.

****

RORY: I know.

****

JESS: Just making sure.

[_"This Year's Love," by David Gray plays. RORY rests her head on his shoulder. JESS slowly, uncertainly brings his arm around her shoulders and pulls her closer. RORY turns her head into the crook of his neck and closes her eyes_]

[_Int. Independence Inn. Later that evening. LORELAI is at the desk, staring at the phone. SOOKIE walks up_]

****

SOOKIE: Hey, you leaving soon?

****

LORELAI: [_Quietly_] Yes.

****

SOOKIE: Okay, I'm taking on the dinner rush, and then I'll be over.

****

LORELAI: Okay.

****

SOOKIE: Honey? What's wrong?

****

LORELAI: She's selling it.

****

SOOKIE: Who?

****

LORELAI: Mia.

****

SOOKIE: [_Not surprised_] Oh.

****

LORELAI: She's _selling_ it.

****

SOOKIE: What did you think she was going to do? She said before she'd been thinking about it.

****

LORELAI: I thought she might have changed her mind.

****

SOOKIE: Lorelai, you can't manage two inns at once.

****

LORELAI: There are other managers out there.

****

SOOKIE: But that's practically the same as selling it.

****

LORELAI: No. At least it'd still be Mia's.

****

SOOKIE: Is this about the Crap Shack?

****

LORELAI: No. Yes.

****

SOOKIE: Honey, you have to let it go.

****

LORELAI: But it's mine. That's a big part of my life.

****

SOOKIE: You've got memories. Mia's got pictures. It's not going away just because it's sold.

****

LORELAI: It is, though. I can't wander out there anymore and look at the wallpaper.

****

SOOKIE: But on the up side, neither can Rune.

****

LORELAI: But what if someone more despicable than Rune moves in?

****

SOOKIE: Impossible.

****

LORELAI: I guess. [_Sadly_] I guess I'm gonna go. I'm meeting Luke.

****

SOOKIE: [_Smiling slyly_] Okay.

****

LORELAI: What's that smile for?

****

SOOKIE: Nothing.

****

LORELAI: [_Suspiciously_] Right.

****

SOOKIE: Bonding over flooring?

****

LORELAI: Oh, Sookie.

****

SOOKIE: What?

****

LORELAI: I think it's time to give up.

****

SOOKIE: Never. You two are meant to be.

[_LORELAI opens her mouth to say something, but SOOKIE gets called to the kitchen. LORELAI watches her go, mouth hanging open, unhappy she didn't get the last word_]

[_Int. Gilmore house. Same evening, around five-thirty. RORY and JESS are lying horizontal on the couch, kissing. This time when JESS reaches for her shirt, RORY doesn't protest. JESS unbuttons the buttons slowly, still kissing her mouth. Eyes shut, RORY reaches blindly for JESS' shirt hem and misses by a few inches south. JESS groans and stops kissing her_]

****

RORY: Sorry.

****

JESS: That's okay.

****

RORY: I'll open my eyes the next time I try that.

****

JESS: Either way's okay. [_He kisses her mouth shortly_]

****

RORY: Oh, Jess, it's five-thirty.

****

JESS: So?

****

RORY: Don't you have to work?

****

JESS: Six.

****

RORY: You aren't going to be late, are you? Luke has to leave soon to meet Mom.

****

JESS: I know. [_He kisses her again, and this time it flares up. RORY successfully finds the hem of his shirt and slips her hands up the front, caressing him. JESS groans, rolls completely off the couch and stands. RORY sits up, looking worried_]

****

RORY: Jess?

****

JESS: I should go.

****

RORY: Did I do something wrong?

****

JESS: No. No. It was too right.

****

RORY: [_Blushes_] Oh. Okay.

****

JESS: [_Kisses her forehead_] I'll see you tomorrow?

****

RORY: Mmm, yes.

****

JESS: Bye, Rory.

****

RORY: Bye.

[_JESS leaves. RORY runs her fingers through her hair, looking pleased and confused. The phone rings_]

****

RORY: [_On phone. Inter cut between RORY and LORELAI_] Hello?

****

LORELAI: Hi, honey.

****

RORY: Mom. Hi.

****

LORELAI: How was school?

****

RORY: Good. How's work?

****

LORELAI: I'm on my way to the Dragonfly.

****

RORY: Sookie's still at the Independence?

****

LORELAI: Yeah. You know, we should come up with code names.

****

RORY: Why would we do that?

****

LORELAI: Duh. Because it would sound way cooler.

****

RORY: Right.

****

LORELAI: Oh ye of little faith.

****

RORY: You and Luke are finishing the lobby flooring, right?

****

LORELAI: Yep. I've gotten pretty good with glue.

****

RORY: I wouldn't spread that around.

****

LORELAI: Hmm, you're probably right. So, can you come tonight?

****

RORY: [_Guiltily_] I have a lot of homework.

****

LORELAI: Oh, that's okay.

****

RORY: I'll try to help you paint tomorrow, all right?

****

LORELAI: Sure, hon. You know about the pizza money.

****

RORY: Yeah.

****

LORELAI: Don't wait up for me.

****

RORY: Don't do anything illegal with the glue.

****

LORELAI: I make no guarantees.

****

RORY: I'm not bailing you out.

****

LORELAI: Fair enough. I'll call my parents.

****

RORY: Sounds like a plan.

****

LORELAI: I'll see you later, sweetie.

****

RORY: [_Nervous_] Hey, Mom?

****

LORELAI: Yeah?

****

RORY: [_Losing her courage_] Uh, never mind.

****

LORELAI: Okay. Bye, sweets.

****

RORY: Bye, Mom.

[_RORY hangs up and bites her lip, staring at the receiver in her hand. When she looks down, she notices that her shirt is still unbuttoned. She buttons it back up quickly, like a criminal, and opens her homework up at the kitchen table_]

[_Int. Diner. Late evening. JESS is behind the counter, looking harried. There's no one in there. The door opens and JESS looks up_]

****

LINDSAY: Is Luke here?

****

JESS: Nope.

****

LINDSAY: [_Looks him over_] Are you Jess?

****

JESS: Yeah.

****

LINDSAY: I'm Lindsay.

****

JESS: Huh.

****

LINDSAY: So, where is Luke?

****

JESS: He's at the inn.

****

LINDSAY: What?

****

JESS: The inn. The Dragonfly.

****

LINDSAY: [_Confused_] Oh.

****

JESS: Just go east. You'll find it.

****

LINDSAY: Well, thanks. [_She looks at him_] You don't look evil.

****

JESS: Luke said I was evil?

****

LINDSAY: I think "difficult" was his word.

****

JESS: Gee, thanks, I guess.

****

LINDSAY: No problem.

[_She leaves. JESS gives her a very strange look and opens his book_]

[_Cut to the Dragonfly. LINDSAY pulls up in her old beat-up hatchback and looks, puzzled, at all the cars. ANDREW passes by, carrying one lonely two-by-four. Hesitantly, LINDSAY follows him in the front door, where a man is working on flooring. LORELAI is nearby, working on flooring as well. LINDSAY walks up to her_]

****

LINDSAY: Excuse me?

****

LORELAI: Hmm? [_Looks up_] Yes? [_She smiles_] You're not a guest, are you?

****

LINDSAY: [_Smiles_] No. Uh, I was told I could find Luke Danes here?

****

LORELAI: [_Standing slowly_] You're Lindsay.

****

LINDSAY: I—yeah.

****

LORELAI: Hi, I'm Lorelai. Gilmore.

****

LINDSAY: Oh, hi. Lindsay Manning.

****

LORELAI: Nice to meet you.

****

LINDSAY: You too.

[_LORELAI looks her up and down, trying not to be obvious. LINDSAY is wearing khakis and a cottony sweater, both neat and clean. LORELAI is in jeans and a long-sleeved T-shirt, covered with dried glue and spatterings of paint. LINDSAY looks uncomfortable_]

****

LORELAI: He actually just went on a coffee run. You probably just missed him.

****

LINDSAY: Oh. Well.

****

LORELAI: You can stick around. He'll be back soon.

****

LINDSAY: Thanks. [_Pause_] So, you're restoring this place?

****

LORELAI: Well, I'm opening an inn.

****

LINDSAY: Oh! Luke mentioned something about that.

****

LORELAI: He mentioned me?

****

LINDSAY: All the time. [_She smiles_] I'm guessing the coffee run is for you?

****

LORELAI: [_Defensively_] And a few other people.

****

LINDSAY: He said you were something of a junkie.

****

LORELAI: Oh, I prefer addict.

****

LINDSAY: [_Laughs_] I guess that's a personal choice.

****

LORELAI: Yeah, it is. It's like buying underwear. [_Pause_] Luke tells me you're a lawyer.

****

LINDSAY: [_Rolls her eyes_] Oh God! I hate it when people say that. Like they really just want to say a dirty word but can't.

****

LORELAI: Well, he said you were an animal-rights lawyer.

****

LINDSAY: I usually just say activist. It keeps the dirty stares away.

****

LORELAI: Right. So you like it?

****

LINDSAY: It's my passion.

****

LORELAI: That's great. [_Awkwardly_] And the animals? Do they…appreciate it?

****

LINDSAY: I like the think so. [_Pause_] So you have a daughter.

****

LORELAI: Oh, yes. Rory. She's eighteen.

****

LINDSAY: You look too young to have an eighteen-year-old.

****

LORELAI: I am. I guess Luke didn't elaborate a lot.

****

LINDSAY: Not a lot. Just the important things. Coffee, food, shoes, inn.

****

LORELAI: Nice to know what he thinks of me.

****

LINDSAY: You two sound like good friends.

****

LORELAI: We are.

[_Pause_]

****

LINDSAY: So, when are you opening?

****

LORELAI: As soon as the paint dries.

****

LINDSAY: It's coming along nicely.

****

LORELAI: Thanks. 

[_Pause_]

****

LINDSAY: What did you do before this?

****

LORELAI: I manage the Independence Inn.

****

LINDSAY: Oh, I've been there. Tough for the vegans, but nice enough.

****

LORELAI: [_Smiles tightly_] Thank you.

[_LUKE walks in, holding two precariously stacked trays of coffee. He looks around and sees LORELAI standing next to LINDSAY and walks over uncomfortably_]

****

LUKE: Here. Your drug of choice.

****

LORELAI: Thanks. [_Pause_] I'm going to go see how Miss Patty and Babette are doing with those paint rollers.

****

LUKE: Sure.

[_LORELAI walks away. LUKE and LINDSAY face each other_]

****

LINDSAY: So that's Lorelai.

****

LUKE: Yeah, that's Lorelai.

****

LINDSAY: She's nice.

****

LUKE: She's insane.

****

LINDSAY: [_Shrewdly_] You don't really believe that.

****

LUKE: Sure I do. I've known her for years.

****

LINDSAY: If you honestly believed that, you wouldn't be helping her like this.

****

LUKE: She's a friend. She needed help.

****

LINDSAY: So not to sound like a jealous girlfriend, but you didn't mention you were doing this.

****

LUKE: Yeah, it wasn't that big a deal.

****

LINDSAY: Right. [_Clears her throat_] So we were going to have dinner.

****

LUKE: Oh, Lindsay, I'm sorry. Here, let me get cleaned up.

****

LINDSAY: No, stay. You're in the middle of something. We'll reschedule.

****

LUKE: You sure?

****

LINDSAY: Absolutely. [_She smiles_] Call me, okay?

****

LUKE: Yeah, sure.

[_LINDSAY kisses LUKE, holding his face. She smiles again and leaves. "Emergency Dispatch," by No Use For a Name plays. When LUKE looks up, he sees LORELAI staring from across the room. She quickly looks away_]

[_Third commercial break_]

[_Int. Gilmore house. Late that night. LORELAI comes home looking tired. RORY is at the table, working_]

****

LORELAI: Hey, babe.

****

RORY: Hi, Mom. How was it?

****

LORELAI: [_Gestures to her clothing_] Bob Vila has nothing on me.

****

RORY: Clearly.

****

LORELAI: You're still working?

****

RORY: I said I had a lot.

****

LORELAI: I guess.

****

RORY: I think they're making us pay for Christmas break.

****

LORELAI: They can't even give you a couple of snow days in peace.

****

RORY: Never. [_Pause_] Oh, Grayer called.

****

LORELAI: Oh.

****

RORY: He said to call him back and you two could reschedule the date you missed two days ago.

****

LORELAI: Date?

****

RORY: Apparently you missed a date.

****

LORELAI: And it took him two days to notice?

****

RORY: He had to go to Tokyo.

****

LORELAI: [_In a small voice_] Oh.

****

RORY: So, anyway, call him.

****

LORELAI: Right.

****

RORY: Are you okay?

****

LORELAI: Of course.

****

RORY: Because you don't seem sorry about missing your date with Grayer.

****

LORELAI: I'm just too tired.

****

RORY: Okay.

****

LORELAI: [_Looks at RORY. Decides she can't hold it in any longer_] I met her.

****

RORY: [_Confused_] What?

****

LORELAI: Lindsay, animal rights _activist_ extraordinaire.

****

RORY: Oh. Um, how?

****

LORELAI: She came by the inn.

****

RORY: That was nice.

****

LORELAI: Nice? She just came to make me jealous.

****

RORY: I doubt it.

****

LORELAI: You didn't meet her.

****

RORY: Jess said she looks nice.

****

LORELAI: _Looks_ nice. The key word being "looks".

****

RORY: Was she rude?

****

LORELAI: No…

****

RORY: Okay…

****

LORELAI: She came to flaunt her thing with Luke.

****

RORY: In front of you specifically?

****

LORELAI: Of course!

****

RORY: Mom—

****

LORELAI: And then she kissed him in front of everyone! Why else would you do that unless you're looking to show off?

****

RORY: Are you breaking up with Grayer?

****

LORELAI: [_Confused_] What?

****

RORY: Are you?

****

LORELAI: I…don't know.

****

RORY: You are.

****

LORELAI: What?

****

RORY: You're all jealous of Luke and Lindsay and you're going to break up with Grayer.

****

LORELAI: That's not true.

****

RORY: You decided that you're missing out with Luke and that you made a huge mistake. You missed that date on purpose.

****

LORELAI: Hey!

****

RORY: Why can't you make up your mind?

****

LORELAI: Hey, stop right there!

****

RORY: Is it?

****

LORELAI: Yes.

****

RORY: Maybe you should make up your mind before Grayer breaks up with _you_.

****

LORELAI: Hey, I did not ask for your opinion!

****

RORY: Then why else would you tell me all that?!

****

LORELAI: Because I had to tell someone!

****

RORY: No, because you were all jealous and you felt guilty and you wanted me to justify you breaking up with Grayer!

****

LORELAI: Not!

****

RORY: I _like_ Grayer!

****

LORELAI: Then you date him!

****

RORY: I think you're throwing a good thing away.

****

LORELAI: Oh, and Luke isn't worth it?

****

RORY: Luke told you that he wasn't giving you another chance!

****

LORELAI: Those weren't his exact words.

****

RORY: Fine, I'm paraphrasing. That was his basic gist.

****

LORELAI: Not really.

****

RORY: He has a girlfriend.

****

LORELAI: [_Opens her mouth, but is silent_]

****

RORY: He's not there to catch you anymore.

****

LORELAI: Stop!

****

RORY: Because it's true?

****

LORELAI: [_Sighs and calms down_] When did you become so wise?

****

RORY: It comes from years of watching you.

****

LORELAI: [_Tearfully_] I really, really like him, Rory.

****

RORY: [_Kindly_] Maybe you should have told him that a couple months ago.

****

LORELAI: Good idea in theory.

****

RORY: [_Sighs_] I'm sorry I yelled.

****

LORELAI: Me too.

****

RORY: I still think you should think about this some more.

****

LORELAI: I'm not breaking up with Grayer.

****

RORY: Good.

****

LORELAI: You really like him?

****

RORY: [_Nods_] I really do.

[_Silence_]

****

LORELAI: Hey, what were you going to tell me on the phone?

****

RORY: What?

****

LORELAI: Earlier. When you said "never mind".

****

RORY: Oh.

****

LORELAI: Was it important?

****

RORY: [_Hesitates_] Kind of.

****

LORELAI: Shoot.

****

RORY: [_Takes a deep breath_] Jess wants me to go to New York with him.

****

LORELAI: Ah.

****

RORY: His mom bullied him into going up there and he asked me if I would come next weekend.

****

LORELAI: Is there an overnight?

****

RORY: Yes.

****

LORELAI: No.

****

RORY: Please, Mom?

****

LORELAI: You want to go to a far-away destination with Jess—

****

RORY: It's not that far away.

****

LORELAI: --and spend the night with him?

****

RORY: It's not that big a deal. We won't sleep in the same room.

****

LORELAI: [_Laughs softly_] Right.

****

RORY: We won't!

****

LORELAI: I've tried that too.

****

RORY: Mom…

****

LORELAI: Honey, no. Sorry.

****

RORY: [_Sighs_] Whatever.

****

LORELAI: Rory—

****

RORY: Goodnight.

[_RORY stands up and goes to her room. LORELAI stares after her and looks at the closed door for a while_]

****

LORELAI: Great. Another person who hates me.

[_Sad la-la's play. LORELAI looks forlornly around the kitchen. Zoom out on her looking sad_]

[_Int. Luke's. Next morning. JESS comes downstairs. LUKE hands him a cup of coffee_]

****

JESS: Thanks.

****

LUKE: Your mom talk to you?

****

JESS: You're making it up to me.

****

LUKE: Look, Jess, she really wants to see you. It's just a couple days.

****

JESS: Yeah, right.

****

LUKE: She said you could take Rory.

****

JESS: Yeah, and what do you think Lorelai will have to say about that?

****

LUKE: [_Pause_] I'll work on her.

****

JESS: What?

****

LUKE: I'll talk to her. If you really want Rory to come.

****

JESS: [_Surprised_] Yeah.

****

LUKE: Fine. Now get to school.

****

JESS: [_Long pause. Reluctantly_] Thanks, Luke.

****

LUKE: [_Shocked_] You're welcome.

[_JESS nods and walks out. LUKE looks after him, still astonished_]

[_Cut to JESS walking to the bus stop. RORY is reading and listening to headphones, sitting on the bench. JESS sits next to her_]

****

JESS: [_Nudges her_] Hey.

****

RORY: [_Takes her headphones off_] Looks like someone has a new favorite spot in Stars Hollow.

****

JESS: What are you listening to?

****

RORY: Rooney.

****

JESS: [_Disapprovingly_] Really?

****

RORY: They're good.

****

JESS: They're so…poppy.

****

RORY: I like them.

****

JESS: [_Shrugs_] If you say so.

****

RORY: So why are you here?

****

JESS: Time to kill before school.

****

RORY: Ah. [_They kiss_] You had coffee.

****

JESS: Luke was being generous.

****

RORY: [_Looks down_] I asked…my mom said no.

****

JESS: I figured.

****

RORY: Sorry.

****

JESS: It'll work out.

****

RORY: What's with this newfound optimism?

****

JESS: Must be the coffee.

[_"Walking By," by Something Corporate plays. They kiss. When they break apart, RORY sees DEAN standing on the school steps with a girl. He is staring at them. JESS doesn't notice and kisses RORY'S neck. DEAN glowers. Ashamed, RORY pushes JESS away and looks away from DEAN_]

****

JESS: What?

****

RORY: Nothing.

[_JESS looks up and sees DEAN still looking at them. When their eyes meet, both boys look away_]

****

JESS: Ah. I see.

****

RORY: No, no.

****

JESS: Still attached are we?

****

RORY: No, that's not it, Jess. [_RORY takes a pause to gather her thoughts_]

****

JESS: No?

****

RORY: No. I—it just seems silly to flaunt it.

****

JESS: We weren't flaunting it. He was the one who was staring.

****

RORY: I know.

****

JESS: You didn't want to hurt his feelings.

****

RORY: …Yeah. What's wrong with that?

****

JESS: Nothing. I gotta get to school.

****

RORY: [_Takes his hand_] Jess, don't be mad.

****

JESS: [_Jaw tightens_] I'm not mad.

****

RORY: You are.

****

JESS: Nope.

****

RORY: [_Kisses him_] I'm sorry.

****

JESS: Fine.

****

RORY: Jess…

****

JESS: [_Sighs_] Gotta go get those A's.

****

RORY: Good. [_She kisses him again and this time he responds, wrapping his arms around her. She lets herself fold into him_]

****

JESS: See you later.

****

RORY: Bye, Jess.

[_JESS gets up, leaving RORY sitting on the bench to the strains of "Walking By"_]

[_Int. Luke's. Evening. LORELAI walks in, looking haggard_]

****

LUKE: Not tonight.

****

LORELAI: I just came for coffee.

****

LUKE: Oh.

****

LORELAI: I knew you weren't coming by.

****

LUKE: Here you go. [_He sets a take-out cup in front of her_]

****

LORELAI: [_Hesitantly_] Lindsay seemed nice.

****

LUKE: I'm glad you approve.

****

LORELAI: No, I didn't mean it like that.

****

LUKE: I know, Lorelai.

****

LORELAI: She seems really smart.

****

LUKE: She is.

****

LORELAI: Well…good. [_She nods and starts awkwardly backing out_] Bye, then.

****

LUKE: Hey, did Rory talk to you?

****

LORELAI: Ever?

****

LUKE: Recently. About New York.

****

LORELAI: Oh. Yeah.

****

LUKE: I assume you said no.

****

LORELAI: [_Stiffly_] Well, yeah.

****

LUKE: I think you should let her go.

****

LORELAI: [_Walks toward the counter_] Luke, I don't want to get into another argument about Jess.

****

LUKE: Look, Lorelai, it's really hard for him to see his mother, and I think Rory could help.

****

LORELAI: Luke, I'm not sending my daughter on a trip to New York with her boyfriend for a weekend.

****

LUKE: I thought you trusted Rory.

****

LORELAI: With my life. But not with her virginity.

****

LUKE: It's hers.

****

LORELAI: She's eighteen.

****

LUKE: She's legal.

****

LORELAI: Luke, I don't think it's a good idea.

****

LUKE: Jess needs this.

****

LORELAI: Why don't you go with him?

****

LUKE: I don't want to deal with Liz either. [_Pause_] Look, Lorelai, I'll take this in exchange for the flooring.

****

LORELAI: You'll floor my inn if I let Rory go to New York next weekend?

****

LUKE: Yes.

****

LORELAI: Well… [_Reluctantly_] I guess.

****

LUKE: Thank you.

****

LORELAI: I don't think this is a good idea.

****

LUKE: I know. But it'll turn out fine. You'll see.

****

LORELAI: I guess. I just… I don't want Rory to grow up.

[_Long pause. LORELAI'S eyes are watering. LUKE is about to say something when the door swings open and LINDSAY walks in_]

****

LINDSAY: Hi!

****

LUKE: [_Looks away from LORELAI_] Hi. Hold on a sec, okay?

****

LINDSAY: Sure.

[_LUKE goes into the back room. LINDSAY sees LORELAI standing there, almost crying_]

****

LINDSAY: Lorelai? Are you okay?

[_Silence. LUKE comes back in, CAESAR behind him. LORELAI looks up at LUKE with wet eyes_]

****

LORELAI: I'm fine.

[_LORELAI walks out of LUKE'S quickly_]

****

LINDSAY: Is she okay?

****

LUKE: She's fine.

****

LINDSAY: [_Playfully_] What did you say to her?

****

LUKE: [_Smiles wanly_] Must have been the food.

[_Outside, LORELAI sits in her Jeep and watches LUKE and LINDSAY joke and get ready to go out. A single tear drips down her face_]

[_Int. Dragonfly. Saturday morning. LORELAI and LUKE are working in silence, gluing the final parts of the flooring down_]

****

LUKE: I think this is last of the laminate. We'll start on carpeting upstairs next.

****

LORELAI: I'll tell Rory she can start mopping.

****

LUKE: I'll tell Jess.

****

LORELAI: Great.

[_LUKE is about to leave, but he turns_]

****

LUKE: Lorelai?

****

LORELAI: Yes?

****

LUKE: Are you okay? About Rory?

****

LORELAI: Yeah.

****

LUKE: Sure? You seemed pretty upset the other night.

****

LORELAI: I'm fine.

****

LUKE: Okay then.

****

LORELAI: How was your date?

****

LUKE: Fine.

****

LORELAI: Good.

[_Silence. LUKE sighs, then leaves. LORELAI stares blankly at the floor. As she's staring, GRAYER comes in_]

****

GRAYER: There you are.

****

LORELAI: Grayer! Hi.

****

GRAYER: I've been looking all over for you. This place is a zoo.

****

LORELAI: Yeah, well, that's construction for you.

****

GRAYER: You look…alive.

****

LORELAI: Barely. What are you doing here?

****

GRAYER: Well, I wanted to see the place. And I was getting kind of worried.

****

LORELAI: Worried?

****

GRAYER: You never called me back.

****

LORELAI: Oh, Grayer. I'm sorry. I forgot.

****

GRAYER: I didn't know if Rory had forgotten to give you the message or not.

****

LORELAI: No, I just forgot. I'm so sorry.

****

GRAYER: That's okay.

****

LORELAI: I'm sorry about the date, too.

****

GRAYER: That's all right.

****

LORELAI: Things have been so crazy around here.

****

GRAYER: I can see that.

****

LORELAI: How was Tokyo?

****

GRAYER: My cell phone got the worst reception.

****

LORELAI: [_Smiles_] Wouldn't have expected that.

****

GRAYER: An interesting paradox, though.

[_LUKE comes in, looking between LORELAI and GRAYER_]

****

LUKE: I told Rory and Jess they could mop this floor now.

****

GRAYER: I bet that was exciting.

****

LUKE: Just lucky I was there to contain them. [_Pause_] I'm gonna start upstairs, okay, Lorelai?

****

LORELAI: You can take a break if you want.

****

LUKE: I'm meeting Lindsay at five.

****

LORELAI: [_Face falls. She tries to save it_] Okay, so you probably don't want a break. 

****

GRAYER: Do you want me to leave?

****

LUKE: I can handle it on my own for a while, Lorelai. Ron should be coming in an hour.

****

LORELAI: Thanks, Luke.

[_LUKE leaves; LORELAI looks after him, somewhat longingly_]

****

GRAYER: This is a really good thing Luke's doing for you.

****

LORELAI: Yeah, it is. I was so worried about the money. But I'll be paying him.

****

GRAYER: I could have loaned you some money, Lorelai.

****

LORELAI: I know. I just…I wanted to do it on my own terms.

****

GRAYER: I understand. [_He steps closer and kisses her. LORELAI looks sad when they break apart. GRAYER observes her face carefully_] Well, I just wanted to check in. You can go help Luke, if you want.

****

LORELAI: [_Relieved_] I just feel so guilty making him to all the work.

****

GRAYER: How about we go out tonight?

****

LORELAI: Eight?

****

GRAYER: I'll pick you up.

****

LORELAI: Great.

****

GRAYER: [_Kisses her cheek_] I'll see you later.

****

LORELAI: Later.

[_She waves half-heartedly and leaves the room after a minute. She and JESS pass each other; JESS is carrying a mop. LORELAI nods at him; he nods back. LORELAI goes upstairs and finds LUKE laying the carpeting out_]

****

LORELAI: Need some help?

****

LUKE: I'm doing okay.

****

LORELAI: Here. [_She helps him secure the tape measure_]

****

LUKE: [_Not looking at her_] Grayer left?

****

LORELAI: Yeah.

****

LUKE: Oh.

[_They measure out the carpet, trying to avoid each other's eyes. LUKE starts marking the wall with pencil. LORELAI stares at him_]

[_Fourth commercial break_]

[_Int. Dragonfly. EMILY and RICHARD pull up, looking confused. They climb out and EMILY balks at the dirt surrounding the inn_]

****

RICHARD: [_To KIRK_] Excuse me?

****

KIRK: Yes?

****

RICHARD: Do you know where Lorelai Gilmore is?

****

KIRK: She's upstairs.

****

EMILY: Where?

****

KIRK: I'm not the hall monitor!

****

RICHARD: Well, thank you.

[_He and EMILY go inside, where EMILY glimpses RORY mopping_]

****

EMILY: Oh thank God, there's Rory.

[_She and RICHARD make their way over there, dodging construction debris_]

****

RICHARD: Rory!

****

RORY: [_Surprised_] Grandpa! [_She looks at JESS and puts her mop in the bucket as RICHARD and EMILY walk closer_] What are you doing here?

****

EMILY: Well, we thought we'd stop by.

****

RICHARD: Emily and I were out for a drive.

[_EMILY notices JESS. RORY clears her throat_]

****

RORY: Grandma, Grandpa, this is Jess. Jess, you remember my grandpa.

****

RICHARD: Good to see you again.

****

JESS: Likewise.

****

EMILY: [_Coldly_] Hello.

****

JESS: Hi.

[_Silence_]

****

RORY: So, were you looking for Mom?

****

EMILY: I suppose so.

****

RORY: Come on, she's upstairs.

****

EMILY: I didn't realize that the inn would be so…hands-on.

****

RORY: Oh, well, Mom asked Luke to help out with some of it and the whole town ended up pitching in.

****

EMILY: What about the construction company?

****

RORY: The town is the construction company.

****

RICHARD: She didn't hire anyone?

****

RORY: I'm sure she'll pay Luke. [_She looks at JESS_] Here, come on. [_RORY, RICHARD, and EMILY leave the room. JESS takes his mop out and resumes mopping_]

[_Cut to RORY, RICHARD, and EMILY walking up the stairs_]

****

RORY: Mom's been here a lot this week. We're trying to get the flooring in, and Luke and Ron are going to do counters and cabinets next week, hopefully.

****

RICHARD: This Luke sounds very talented.

****

RORY: Luke's good at carpentry. [_She spots LORELAI and LUKE at the end of the hall, bent close together, pounding the floor matting in_] Mom!

****

LORELAI: [_Looks up_] Rory! … Mom. Dad.

****

EMILY: Hello, Lorelai.

****

LORELAI: [_Stands_] What are you doing here?

****

EMILY: We took a little drive and decided to stop in.

****

LORELAI: Oh, well. You remember Luke?

****

LUKE: How you doing?

****

RICHARD: Quite good, thank you.

****

EMILY: [_Smirking_] Wonderful.

****

LORELAI: Luke and I were just finishing up with the matting.

****

LUKE: Yep.

****

RICHARD: [_To LUKE_] You're doing most of this?

****

LUKE: What I can.

****

EMILY: How nice.

[_Silence_]

****

LUKE: I'm gonna see how the finishing's coming downstairs.

****

RORY: I'll help.

[_RORY and LUKE disappear down the stairs together, leaving LORELAI with RICHARD and EMILY_]

****

EMILY: [_Angrily_] This is how you're getting your inn done?

****

LORELAI: It's economical.

****

EMILY: You said that you had it taken care of.

****

LORELAI: And obviously, I do.

****

EMILY: Hiring a bunch of bohemians to do your construction?

****

LORELAI: They're not bohemians! They're my friends, Mom.

****

EMILY: I thought when you said you had it taken care of, you had hired a reliable construction company!

****

RICHARD: This structure doesn't look stable.

****

LORELAI: The structure's fine, Dad. I can't afford a big construction company, Mom. Luke and the town are being very generous, helping me out.

****

EMILY: I can't believe you wouldn't ask us—your own family!

****

LORELAI: I'm sick of asking you for things! I'm doing this on my own. This is my thing. You helped with Rory's school and my house and that is enough.

****

EMILY: I have honestly never been so insulted.

****

RICHARD: You could have asked, Lorelai.

****

LORELAI: You'll never understand that I need to do this on my own. I got very lucky that Luke and everyone else agreed to do all this for me.

****

EMILY: And if they hadn't?

****

LORELAI: Excuse me?

****

EMILY: What if they hadn't agreed?

****

LORELAI: I would have figured something out.

****

EMILY: But you wouldn't have asked us.

****

LORELAI: Maybe.

****

EMILY: As a last resort.

****

LORELAI: Mom, I'm thirty-five! I don't want to keep running to my mommy and daddy every time I need something.

****

RICHARD: There's nothing wrong with asking for help.

****

LORELAI: I appreciate that, Dad, but this is how I want it done. It's my inn.

****

EMILY: And you don't want us involved.

****

LORELAI: Mom—

****

EMILY: I've seen enough. Richard, let's go home.

[_EMILY marches down the stairs. RICHARD and LORELAI look at each other, then RICHARD follows, leaving LORELAI all alone_]

[_Int. downstairs room. Afternoon. RORY is having a difficult time wallpapering the room, running up and down the ladder, spattering glue everywhere. DEAN comes in_]

****

DEAN: Hey.

****

RORY: [_Surprised_] Hey. Hi.

****

DEAN: Miss Patty said you needed some help.

****

RORY: Oh, no. I'm good. [_Pause_] Desperately.

****

DEAN: Ah, here. [_He gets on the ladder and gestures for RORY to hand him the paper. He carefully sticks it up and RORY runs a dry paint roller down, smoothing it_]

****

RORY: Thanks.

****

DEAN: No problem.

****

RORY: I know my mom really appreciates you being here.

****

DEAN: Yeah, it's the least I can do. I mean, your mom's been wanting to open this inn forever.

****

RORY: And a day.

****

DEAN: And Taylor would have killed me if I didn't come.

****

RORY: Strangled by your own apron strings.

****

DEAN: Kind of a pathetic death.

****

RORY: It is.

[_Pause_]

****

DEAN: So, how's…?

****

RORY: He's good.

****

DEAN: Good.

****

RORY: How are you?

****

DEAN: Doing good. I'm actually thinking about college a little more.

****

RORY: Really? Dean, that's great.

****

DEAN: Yeah, well. My parents don't want me to be a mechanic.

****

RORY: What are you thinking of going into?

****

DEAN: Business, I guess.

****

RORY: Sounds good.

****

DEAN: Still Harvard-bound?

****

RORY: Yale.

****

DEAN: Oh. I guess that's closer.

****

RORY: Much. My mom likes that, I think.

****

DEAN: I bet she does.

****

RORY: So, how's Clara?

****

DEAN: She's good. She's taking dance lessons from Miss Patty.

****

RORY: Uh-oh.

****

DEAN: Yeah. She looked a little shocked when she came home last time.

****

RORY: [_Giggles_] I remember my Miss Patty lessons.

****

DEAN: I get the feeling that you can't forget them.

****

RORY: That's true.

****

DEAN: [_Puts the last strip of wallpaper up_] Wow, you got a long way.

****

RORY: It was an uphill battle.

****

DEAN: I guess I was a little late.

****

RORY: Any help is good help.

[_DEAN climbs down from the ladder. They stand facing each other uncomfortably_]

****

DEAN: Any more wallpaper to do?

****

RORY: [_Hesitantly_] Well, the next room over.

****

DEAN: You want help?

****

RORY: Are you busy?

****

DEAN: Nope.

****

RORY: Sure?

****

DEAN: I'm sure. Plus, wallpaper is better than being harassed by Patty and Babette.

****

RORY: That's true. Well, come on.

[_They gather the ladder and supplies and go into the next room. When the camera zooms away, we see JESS at the door, looking upset_]

[_Int. Upstairs. LUKE and LORELAI have gotten about halfway through laying the carpet. LUKE checks his watch_]

****

LUKE: I should get going.

****

LORELAI: Right. Sure. Thanks again.

****

LUKE: I can come back later tonight and help you finish if you want.

****

LORELAI: That would be good.

****

LUKE: I'll come by about eight.

****

LORELAI: Great.

****

LUKE: See you later. [_LUKE walks down the hall_]

****

LORELAI: [_Quietly, to herself_] Yeah, later.

[_LORELAI stares off into space for a while, sitting on her knees. JESS comes up, carrying a bunch of wallpaper_]

****

JESS: Ron told me this went up here.

****

LORELAI: Yeah, just set it over there. Thanks.

****

JESS: Sure.

[_Pause_]

****

LORELAI: So you and Rory are going to New York next week.

****

JESS: Looks that way.

****

LORELAI: Jess, I think you know that I'm not too happy about this. I'm doing this for Luke, who seems to trust you.

****

JESS: Okay.

****

LORELAI: If my daughter comes back with so much as a scratch—physically, mentally or emotionally—you won't be seeing her for a very long time, okay?

****

JESS: Okay.

****

LORELAI: And if she comes back with a cast, you're going to want to skip town again.

****

JESS: Okay.

****

LORELAI: And if you think I don't know what you're doing behind closed doors, you're wrong.

****

JESS: Okay.

****

LORELAI: Do you know another word?

****

JESS: I'm just trying not to upset you.

****

LORELAI: [_Surprised_] Right.

****

JESS: Which can be all too easy.

****

LORELAI: Thanks for the wallpaper.

****

JESS: Sure. [_He starts to walk away_]

****

LORELAI: Hey, Jess?

****

JESS: [_Turns around_] Yeah?

****

LORELAI: Be…careful. With my little girl.

****

JESS: [_Pause_] Yeah.

****

LORELAI: Good.

[_JESS turns and goes down the stairs. LORELAI sits back on her thighs and sighs_]

[_Int. Upstairs. Later that evening, around seven. RORY and LORELAI are setting wallpapers in their appropriate rooms. They meet in the hallway_]

****

RORY: I think I'm gonna go home, okay?

****

LORELAI: Sure, hon.

****

RORY: What time will you be home?

****

LORELAI: Luke's coming at eight to finish this. I shouldn't be too long.

****

RORY: Okay. [_She kisses LORELAI'S cheek and starts to leave, but reconsiders_] Mom?

****

LORELAI: Yes?

****

RORY: I need to tell you something. Ask you, really.

****

LORELAI: Okay.

****

RORY: But I need you to promise not to get upset.

****

LORELAI: What is it?

****

RORY: Promise.

****

LORELAI: I promise.

****

RORY: [_Looking at the floor_] Mom, I think I should go on the Pill.

****

LORELAI: What?

****

RORY: You know, _the Pill_.

****

LORELAI: [_Shocked. Walks closer_] Rory?

****

RORY: Nothing's happened. We haven't even gotten close. But I just want to be prepared.

****

LORELAI: [_Swallows_] Prepared for the inevitable?

****

RORY: Well, yeah. I mean, it will happen eventually.

****

LORELAI: You and Jess.

****

RORY: Maybe. But I am going to do it someday. It might not be Jess.

****

LORELAI: But it could be.

****

RORY: He is my boyfriend.

****

LORELAI: [_Sighs_] Okay.

****

RORY: "Okay"?

****

LORELAI: Okay.

****

RORY: No big talk?

****

LORELAI: If you're asking to go on the Pill, I think you know enough. [_Pause_] But be careful.

****

RORY: I know.

****

LORELAI: I know you know. We've been through this before.

****

RORY: You're not mad?

****

LORELAI: [_Puts her arm around RORY_] No.

****

RORY: Thanks, Mom.

****

LORELAI: No, thanks for telling me, sweetie.

[_LORELAI leans close to RORY and puts her head on top of RORY'S. RORY puts her arm around her mothers waist and leans against her as well_]

****

RORY: How did Grandpa and Grandma take it?

****

LORELAI: Let's not talk about that now.

****

RORY: Okay.

[_LORELAI kisses the top of RORY'S head, looking sad. She pulls her tighter. La-la's start. The camera zooms out on the two of them, standing at the top of the stairs, arms around each other_]

[_Int. Luke's. JESS is working. RORY walks in the otherwise deserted diner and sits at the counter_]

****

RORY: Hey.

****

JESS: [_Stiffly_] Hi.

****

RORY: Coffee?

****

JESS: Yeah. [_He pours her a mug and slides it across the counter_]

****

RORY: Thanks. Mmm.

****

JESS: I thought you'd still be at the inn.

****

RORY: [_Hesitates_] I finished wallpapering faster than I thought I would.

****

JESS: I know.

****

RORY: Know?

****

JESS: About Dean. You don't have to hide it.

****

RORY: Jess—

****

JESS: You were going to tell me?

****

RORY: Yes.

****

JESS: Yeah.

****

RORY: I was. I just didn't know how to talk about it.

****

JESS: So he's back at it.

****

RORY: Jess, no. He knows we're…us. He knows that.

****

JESS: Sure?

****

RORY: We just hung up the wallpaper. That's it.

****

JESS: Okay. [_Pause_] So you're coming to New York.

****

RORY: What?

****

JESS: Didn't your mom tell you?

****

RORY: No…

****

JESS: Luke talked to her.

****

RORY: Oh.

****

JESS: You still want to come, right?

****

RORY: Of course.

****

JESS: Good.

****

RORY: Yeah.

[_Silence. RORY sips her coffee. She looks up at JESS through her eyelashes_]

****

RORY: Jess?

****

JESS: Yeah?

****

RORY: I asked my mother.

****

JESS: About what? [_JESS turns and starts making a fresh pot of coffee_]

****

RORY: [_Takes a deep breath_] About the Pill.

****

JESS: [_Pauses. We see that his face is surprised, but RORY cannot. Calmly_] Oh yeah?

****

RORY: Yeah.

****

JESS: How did she take it?

****

RORY: Really well.

[_JESS turns around and rests his forearms on the counter_]

****

JESS: Good.

****

RORY: [_Shyly_] Yeah, good.

[_JESS leans across the counter and they kiss. RORY pulls him toward her by the back of his head and JESS puts his hands flat on the countertop to extend toward her_]

****

JESS: Good.

[_Int. Dragonfly. About eight. LUKE comes into the deserted inn, where LORELAI is sitting at the bottom of the stairs_]

****

LUKE: Hey. 

****

LORELAI: Hey.

****

LUKE: You just been sitting here?

****

LORELAI: Pretty much, yeah.

****

LUKE: [_Sits next to her_] Something wrong?

****

LORELAI: The Pill.

****

LUKE: What?

****

LORELAI: She asked about the Pill, Luke.

****

LUKE: Oh.

****

LORELAI: She's going to New York, she's going on the Pill, she's going to college. [_Pause. LORELAI looks miserable_] I'm going to be alone.

****

LUKE: You're not going to be alone.

****

LORELAI: I am, Luke. I'm just destined to be alone.

****

LUKE: What about Grayer?

****

LORELAI: I'll screw that up somehow.

****

LUKE: With such an attitude, who wouldn't be screwing it up?

****

LORELAI: It's just the truth.

****

LUKE: You're not stopping her from going to New York?

****

LORELAI: What's the point? She's grown up.

****

LUKE: At least you did a good job of raising her.

****

LORELAI: I'm not even sure of that anymore. All I know is that I'm not my parents.

****

LUKE: I think you did a great job.

****

LORELAI: It doesn't stop her from going away.

****

LUKE: It shouldn't.

****

LORELAI: It doesn't stop me from being all alone.

[_LUKE is silent. LORELAI looks over at him and bites her lip, holding tears back. It's fairly dark in the inn, and a few dim lights cast lots of shadows. LORELAI reaches up and cups LUKE'S cheek, turning his head toward her so she can see him_]

****

LUKE: Lorelai—

****

LORELAI: Shh.

[_LORELAI leans forward and kisses LUKE_]

[_Int. Gilmore house. Same time. GRAYER is standing outside, checking his watch, looking lost. He knocks on the door, steps back, waits, and knocks again_]

[_Cut to the inn, where LUKE and LORELAI are still kissing_]

[_Cut to GRAYER getting into his car and dialing his phone. We see him speak through the window, but cannot hear what he says_]

[_Cut to the inn, where LUKE and LORELAI are still kissing. LUKE has wrapped LORELAI in his arms now_]

[_Cut to GRAYER driving away from the Gilmore house, looking disappointed_]

[_Cut to the inn, where LUKE and LORELAI are kissing heavily_]

[_End of episode_]


	10. Blueside

****

Season 3: Version B

__

Episode 10: "Blueside"

by **columbiachica** (kat2005)

Author's Note: Thank you so much to all of my reviewers. Your kind words mean a lot. If you read this, I'd really appreciate a quick review, whether you like it or not.

Dedications: These have gotten ridiculously long. To **Kate, Chris, Hadar, Marissa, Elise** and **emrie**.

"Blueside"

****

Featured Music:

__

"You and I Both," Jason Mraz

"I Love Rock and Roll," Joan Jett

****

ANNOUNCER: Previously on Gilmore Girls…

[_Cut to RORY and JESS in the Gilmore living room_]

****

JESS: I want you to come to New York with me!

[_Silence_]

****

RORY: What?

****

JESS: My mother has talked Luke into ordering me to New York and I want you to come.

[_Cut to LORELAI and RORY_]

****

RORY: [_Takes a deep breath_] Jess wants me to go to New York with him.

****

LORELAI: Ah.

****

RORY: His mom bullied him into going up there and he asked me if I would come next weekend.

****

LORELAI: Is there an overnight?

****

RORY: Yes.

****

LORELAI: No.

[_Cut to LORELAI and LUKE_]

****

LUKE: I don't want to deal with Liz either. [_Pause_] Look, Lorelai, I'll take this in exchange for the flooring.

****

LORELAI: You'll floor my inn if I let Rory go to New York next weekend?

****

LUKE: Yes.

****

LORELAI: Well… [_Reluctantly_] I guess.

[_Cut to RORY and LORELAI_]

****

RORY: You're all jealous of Luke and Lindsay and you're going to break up with Grayer.

****

LORELAI: That's not true.

****

RORY: You decided that you're missing out with Luke and that you made a huge mistake. You missed that date on purpose.

****

LORELAI: Hey!

****

RORY: Why can't you make up your mind?

****

LORELAI: Hey, stop right there!

[_Cut to LORELAI and LUKE kissing in the inn_]

[_Cut to GRAYER checking his watch in front of the Gilmore house_]

[_Cut to LORELAI and LUKE kissing in the inn_]

[_Cut to GRAYER driving away from the Gilmore house_]

[_Cut back to LORELAI and LUKE, still kissing in the inn_]

[_Int. elder Gilmore residence. Friday night. LORELAI and EMILY are sitting in the living room_]

****

EMILY: What do you want to drink?

****

LORELAI: Water's fine, Mom.

****

EMILY: Fine.

****

LORELAI: Where's Dad?

****

EMILY: He's in Tokyo.

****

LORELAI: [_Mutters_] Popular destination these days.

****

EMILY: What?

****

LORELAI: Nothing, Mom. Why?

****

EMILY: He has clients there.

****

LORELAI: Oh.

****

EMILY: I hope he doesn't get SARS.

****

LORELAI: I didn't think it was such a big problem in Japan.

****

EMILY: SARS is a problem everywhere, Lorelai.

****

LORELAI: [_Opens her mouth to argue but changes her mind_] Okay.

****

EMILY: [_Checks her watch_] This new maid is dreadful.

****

LORELAI: [_Checks her watch_] Yeah, wow, one minute past seven. I combust at three minutes past, so I hope she gets her act together.

****

EMILY: [_Rolls her eyes. Looks around the room, then looks surprised_] Where is Rory?

****

LORELAI: It took you that whole time to notice she's gone?

****

EMILY: Well, she's so quiet.

****

LORELAI: I'll be sure to tell her that.

****

EMILY: Where is she?

****

LORELAI: Oh, she's…not here.

****

EMILY: Yes, Lorelai, I gathered that. So _where_ is she?

****

LORELAI: She's doing…a thing. For school.

****

EMILY: At seven o'clock on a Friday night?

****

LORELAI: It's a … play.

****

EMILY: She's in a school play?

****

LORELAI: Yeah, yeah. Chilton's doing, um, "Les Miserables" as a play and Rory's the lead.

****

EMILY: But Rory doesn't sing.

****

LORELAI: Oh, well, coaching, you know.

****

EMILY: So it's opening night then.

****

LORELAI: Yep.

****

EMILY: So why aren't you there?

****

LORELAI: I … saw it.

****

EMILY: When?

****

LORELAI: When they had a screening-thingie for parents.

****

EMILY: I didn't realize that people "screened" plays.

****

LORELAI: Oh, yeah.

****

EMILY: Why didn't you tell us?

****

LORELAI: [_Clears her throat_] About the play?

****

EMILY: No, Lorelai, about your new shoes. Of course about the play.

****

LORELAI: Well, we didn't think you guys were fans of "My Fair Lady."

****

EMILY: Why would that matter?

****

LORELAI: Because you have to be a fan of the play to want to see it.

****

EMILY: You said she was doing "Les Miserables."

****

LORELAI: Oh, well, those two are so similar, you know, and if you aren't a "My Fair Lady" fan, well, you're just not going to like "Les Miserables."

****

EMILY: [_Exasperated_] Lorelai, I know that Rory is not in a play.

****

LORELAI: Yes she is. She's in "My Fair Miserables."

****

EMILY: [_Gets up_] Lorelai.

****

LORELAI: [_Gets up and follows_] Mom?

****

EMILY: [_Picks the Chilton newsletter off of a table and brandishes it_] "This semester, the drama department at Chilton has chosen to study and perform 'Chapter Two,' a bittersweet comedy written by Neil Simon. The two leads for the play will be Becky Masterson and John Heitzman."

****

LORELAI: [_Mutters_ ] Damn newsletter.

****

EMILY: Now, would you care to explain where Rory really is?

****

LORELAI: [_Sighs_] She's in New York.

****

EMILY: On Broadway, I assume.

****

LORELAI: Exactly.

****

EMILY: What is she doing in New York?

****

LORELAI: She's on Broadway.

****

EMILY: Lorelai.

****

LORELAI: She's taking a little trip, okay?

****

EMILY: Whom is she staying with?

****

LORELAI: A friend.

****

EMILY: Rory has friends in New York?

****

LORELAI: Rory has friends that formerly lived in New York and still have access to lodging there.

****

EMILY: Oh. [_She turns away and starts walking to the dining room, obviously angry_]

****

LORELAI: Mom?

****

EMILY: It's that _boy_!

****

LORELAI: Now, Mom—

****

EMILY: You sent her to stay in New York with that—that—hoodlum?

****

LORELAI: It's a favor to Luke, Mom!

****

EMILY: Luke.

****

LORELAI: Luke, the man who's working his butt off at my inn.

****

EMILY: [_Purses her lips. Silence_] Let's eat.

[_LORELAI sighs and follows her mother into the dining room where they sit in silence, no food at the table_]

[_Opening credits_]

[_First commercial break_]

[_Int. New York. That night. RORY and JESS are climbing off of the bus. They shoulder their bags and start walking_]

****

JESS: So I guess you're an old pro at this now.

****

RORY: Oh yeah. I mean, I can give the right directions now.

****

JESS: [_Smirks_] Right.

****

RORY: Seriously. I'm getting good at this.

****

JESS: Maybe you could point me in the direction of the subway then.

****

RORY: Probably. [_She looks around, but there are no telltale signs of a subway_] Uh, probably not.

****

JESS: [_Laughs_] Come on.

[_They walk down the sidewalk in companionable silence for a minute_]

****

RORY: So where's your apartment?

****

JESS: About thirty blocks east.

****

RORY: Oh. [_Pause_] Is your mom expecting us?

****

JESS: She's the one who forced me up here. [_They go into the subway tunnel and RORY clings to JESS, lost_] Yeah, an old pro. [_Grins_]

****

RORY: Hey, I've only done the subway once.

****

JESS: Sad but true.

****

RORY: So your mom's going to be there when we get there?

****

JESS: Who knows?

****

RORY: What if she's not?

****

JESS: I guess we entertain ourselves then.

****

RORY: You have a key?

****

JESS: Yeah, I have a key.

****

RORY: Okay.

****

JESS: Anything else?

****

RORY: Nope, that's the checklist.

****

JESS: Good.

[_JESS leads them onto the correct train and he and RORY takes seats_]

****

RORY: I like the subway.

****

JESS: [_Grinning_] Oh yeah?

****

RORY: Yeah. Much better than the bus. I think Stars Hollow should get a subway installed.

****

JESS: Bring that up with Taylor.

****

RORY: You just have to get him on the right day.

****

JESS: Like when hell freezes over.

****

RORY: [_Thinks_] Yeah, that'd probably be a good one.

[_The train stops and JESS stands up. RORY follows him, confused_]

****

RORY: I thought you said your apartment was thirty blocks away.

****

JESS: It is.

****

RORY: That was a short ride.

****

JESS: We have to switch trains.

****

RORY: Where's that one going?

****

JESS: To the wrong place.

****

RORY: Oh. [_They climb on a different train_] I think I'll take cabs in the future.

****

JESS: Lucky you're rich then.

****

RORY: I'm not rich.

****

JESS: Please.

****

RORY: I'm not!

****

JESS: You and Lorelai may not be, but your grandparents are.

****

RORY: See? That's not me.

****

JESS: Well, you're either going to have to be rich or get used to the subway.

****

RORY: How expensive is a cab?

****

JESS: How valuable are your limbs?

****

RORY: They're insured by Lloyds of London.

****

JESS: Then you might make it a few blocks.

****

RORY: Maybe I just won't live in New York.

****

JESS: There's a thought.

****

RORY: [_Looks up at him_] Are you?

****

JESS: Thinking?

****

RORY: Going to live in New York.

****

JESS: [_Shrugs_] Maybe.

****

RORY: You don't know?

****

JESS: Nope.

****

RORY: Oh. [_She looks at him from the corner of her eye_] You're probably not staying in Stars Hollow after graduation, then.

****

JESS: [_Avoiding the question_] Our stop.

[_RORY follows him off and, knowing he's avoiding the question, frowns_]

[_Cut to RORY and JESS in front of an apartment building. It's not elaborate, but not dingy either; just basic middle-class housing. RORY looks a little surprised. They walk inside and get into the elevator_]

****

JESS: What?

****

RORY: What?

****

JESS: You look surprised.

****

RORY: I'm not.

****

JESS: [_Grins_] What were you expecting?

****

RORY: Oh…this.

****

JESS: You were expecting _Requiem for a Dream_.

****

RORY: No.

****

JESS: Admit it.

****

RORY: [_Uncomfortably_] Well, you hate it so much, I just figured…

****

JESS: It's not the surroundings so much as the other inhabitant.

****

RORY: [_Looks scared_] Oh, okay. Good. [_Pause_] So what floor do you live on?

****

JESS: Tenth.

****

RORY: Good suicide possibilities, I guess.

****

JESS: No really good spiked fences, though.

****

RORY: I guess you just can't go out in grand Cecelia style.

****

JESS: A Dumpster just isn't the same.

****

RORY: Not exactly. [_Pause_] This conversation got really morbid really fast.

****

JESS: We're dealing with my mother.

[_The doors slide open and JESS and RORY start walking down the hall. They stop in front of J7 and JESS knocks. There's no answer. He knocks again. Still, no answer. RORY looks concerned. JESS digs his key out and lets them in_]

****

JESS: Mom?

[_No answer_]

****

RORY: Maybe we should come back later.

****

JESS: And walk around New York with luggage?

****

RORY: Well…

****

JESS: [_Laughs_] We can't walk around the city like this. Here. [_He takes her bag and sets it on the floor_]

[_RORY looks around the apartment. It's a little cramped and fairly clean. It's obviously seen better days; the carpets are stained and the baseboards are starting to look ratty, but overall, it seems like a nice enough place. JESS walks over to the counter where a note is sitting. He reads it and shakes his head_]

****

RORY: So?

****

JESS: Figures. She's at work. She says she'll be home late.

****

RORY: [_Surprised_] Oh. Um, didn't you say she knew we were coming?

****

JESS: She knew.

****

RORY: Oh. Maybe it was an emergency.

****

JESS: [_Chuckles_] Lots of emergencies in the paralegal industry.

****

RORY: Your mom's a paralegal?

****

JESS: Yeah.

****

RORY: That's interesting.

****

JESS: You weren't expecting that either.

****

RORY: No. The way you and Luke talk about her…

****

JESS: You don't have to be an alcoholic coke addict to be irritating.

****

RORY: Right. [_She wanders around a little. JESS watches her with interest. RORY lands on the mantelpiece and points to a picture_] Is that you?

****

JESS: Yeah.

****

RORY: Wow. [_She looks closer_] How old?

****

JESS: [_Shrugs_] I don't know. Seven. Eight.

****

RORY: Huh.

****

JESS: [_Uncomfortable_] So, you wanna do something?

****

RORY: [_Turns to him_] Like what?

****

JESS: Well, no basement concerts.

****

RORY: Thank God.

****

JESS: We can find something.

****

RORY: We're just…going? Without a plan?

****

JESS: We'll be fine.

****

RORY: No plan?

****

JESS: Rory.

****

RORY: Okay, no plan.

[_She picks her purse up off the counter and follows JESS out the door_]

[_Int. Dragonfly Inn. Friday night, after dinner with EMILY. LORELAI, LUKE, and SOOKIE are standing in the kitchen, looking at the progress. A few countertops have been put in and there are half-finished cabinets all over_]

****

SOOKIE: It looks great.

****

LORELAI: It does. It's exactly what you wanted.

****

SOOKIE: This is a dream. My own kitchen.

****

LORELAI: Clutch your hands to your heart and say it like you mean it.

****

LUKE: Ron and I can have those cabinets finished by next weekend and then it's just waiting for the stove to come in.

****

SOOKIE: A new Viking.

****

LORELAI: And most of my savings.

****

SOOKIE: Most of mine too.

****

LUKE: The countertops are coming tomorrow, so we'll try to do those in the morning. [_Turns to LORELAI but doesn't make eye contact_] I can come in tomorrow morning and then at nine after the diner closes.

****

LORELAI: [_Looking into the distance_] That sounds good. I'll be here tomorrow afternoon and I'll see about at night.

****

LUKE: Sounds good.

[_Awkward pause_]

****

LUKE: I'm gonna head back to the diner. Closing time.

****

LORELAI: Yeah, sure.

[_LUKE leaves and LORELAI, forgetting SOOKIE is there, puts her head in her hands and groans_]

****

SOOKIE: So what happened?

****

LORELAI: Excuse me?

****

SOOKIE: With you and Luke.

****

LORELAI: [_Defensively_] Nothing.

****

SOOKIE: You two are so weird.

****

LORELAI: Weird?

****

SOOKIE: You haven't looked each other in the eye for a week.

****

LORELAI: That's not true.

****

SOOKIE: Take that little conversation. Not once did you or Luke look at one another. Something's up.

****

LORELAI: Nothing's up. Something's down, in fact.

****

SOOKIE: Lorelai, sweetie, you can tell me.

****

LORELAI: [_Considers_] Sookie, it's too embarrassing.

****

SOOKIE: Embarrassing? Who are you talking to?

****

LORELAI: Well, I guess that time you flashed the entire inn full of high school kids was pretty bad.

****

SOOKIE: Exactly. Come on.

****

LORELAI: [_Hesitates and looks around_] Luke and I… uh…

****

SOOKIE: Come on, I'm desperate.

****

LORELAI: [_Mumbles_] Wemadeout.

****

SOOKIE: What? I didn't catch that, honey.

****

LORELAI: [_Takes a deep breath. Whispers_] We made out.

****

SOOKIE: [_Gasps_] No!

****

LORELAI: Yes! Yes, okay?

****

SOOKIE: When? Where? How?

****

LORELAI: How?

****

SOOKIE: I don't know! I feel like I should be checking for airborne barnyard animals.

****

LORELAI: Last Saturday. At the inn.

****

SOOKIE: Oh my God. You didn't… you know…

****

LORELAI: No! God, no.

****

SOOKIE: Just checking. [_Silence_] This is amazing.

****

LORELAI: I'll relay that message to Grayer.

****

SOOKIE: [_Winces_] Ooh. What are you doing about that?

****

LORELAI: Nothing.

****

SOOKIE: Nothing?

****

LORELAI: This past week has been nothing if not an indicator that this was a one-time deal.

****

SOOKIE: Don't you think he should know?

****

LORELAI: No. No. Luke's not breaking up with Lindsay and I have no plans to break up with Grayer so that's it.

****

SOOKIE: Wow. [_She smiles_] I won thirty bucks.

****

LORELAI: What?

****

SOOKIE: Jackson and I had a bet going.

****

LORELAI: You bet on me?

****

SOOKIE: I said you and Luke would kiss before June and Jackson said no way.

****

LORELAI: You _bet_ on me?

****

SOOKIE: Sorry, honey, easy money.

****

LORELAI: Sookie, don't tell anyone.

****

SOOKIE: [_Whines_] I wanna win.

****

LORELAI: I'll pay you thirty bucks not to say anything.

****

SOOKIE: [_Sighs_] You don't have to pay me. It's the satisfaction of winning more than anything else.

****

LORELAI: I hate this. I wish I'd never done it. God, things are so weird now. We can't even touch _at all_; we can't look at each other; I can't look at Grayer… Sookie, this is so awful.

****

SOOKIE: [_Smiles_] I knew it would happen.

****

LORELAI: Sook, we just kissed. That's it. It'll never go further than that.

****

SOOKIE: Another idea for another bet.

****

LORELAI: And hey! No more betting on me.

****

SOOKIE: I've got the edge, though. I know you. Then again, so does Rory.

****

LORELAI: Rory's betting on me?

****

SOOKIE: [_Cringes_] Shoot.

****

LORELAI: Oh no. Out with it.

****

SOOKIE: There might be a pool.

****

LORELAI: A pool?!

****

SOOKIE: Just in town.

****

LORELAI: "_Just_ in town"? You haven't made it to Woodbrigde yet?

****

SOOKIE: Not yet.

****

LORELAI: People are betting on me?

****

SOOKIE: And Luke!

****

LORELAI: That's unbelievable. My own daughter.

****

SOOKIE: Well, she does have the inside track.

****

LORELAI: Rory! I can't believe it. How long has this been going on?

****

SOOKIE: Well, Rory got in last year. But… I don't know, seven, eight years?

****

LORELAI: You've been betting on me for seven or eight _years_?

****

SOOKIE: [_Sheepish_] Yeah.

****

LORELAI: God. I feel like a dog. Or a horse.

****

SOOKIE: Or a chicken.

[_LORELAI glares at her double entendre. SOOKIE just smiles, shrugs, and leaves the kitchen, LORELAI behind her_]

[_Int. Luke's Diner. Friday night, late. LUKE is cleaning up when someone knocks on the door. He ignores it for a while, but they're persistent. It's LINDSAY_]

****

LUKE: [_Opens the door_] Sorry.

****

LINDSAY: That's okay. I know you hate the late-night traffic. I was just coming through on my way back home and…

****

LUKE: Right, sure. Come on in. You want some coffee?

****

LINDSAY: Not a coffee drinker.

****

LUKE: Right, right, sorry. Habit.

****

LINDSAY: Lorelai.

****

LUKE: What?

****

LINDSAY: You're used to asking Lorelai if she wants some coffee.

****

LUKE: I never ask. There's no point. She always does.

****

LINDSAY: But you still ask.

****

LUKE: [_Clears his throat_] Tea?

****

LINDSAY: [_Smiles at the abrupt topic shift_] Sure.

****

LUKE: So, how was work?

****

LINDSAY: Well, I'm still on that over-fishing problem in the Northwest.

****

LUKE: Don't they have their own lawyers out there?

****

LINDSAY: It takes more lawyers than they have.

****

LUKE: So, fishing.

****

LINDSAY: Yep. Over-fishing to be exact.

****

LUKE: Sounds interesting.

****

LINDSAY: You know, it is. Some people are just so ignorant. They don't even realize that these animals have rights too. Like the right to have their species remain on the planet.

****

LUKE: Sure.

****

LINDSAY: And then there's the dam problem, which everyone is ignoring.

****

LUKE: I saw something about that on the news.

****

LINDSAY: [_Disregarding his comment_] They can't even bother to cite that it's a problem! I mean, these animals are dying because of all the manmade obstacles put in their way for their genetically-programmed migration upstream! No one even takes a second glance at the dead salmon.

****

LUKE: Here's your tea.

****

LINDSAY: Right, thanks. Sorry.

****

LUKE: You've got…passion.

****

LINDSAY: A little too much sometimes.

****

LUKE: No, that's… that's good.

****

LINDSAY: So, how was your day?

****

LUKE: Oh, fine. Put Jess on the bus to New York. Went to the inn. The usual.

****

LINDSAY: How's Lorelai?

****

LUKE: She's…fine.

****

LINDSAY: You've talked about her a lot less lately.

****

LUKE: Have I?

****

LINDSAY: Yeah. I mean, you used to tell so many stories with her in them and now they're all about Taylor.

****

LUKE: Taylor is equal in annoyance to Lorelai.

****

LINDSAY: Oh, Luke.

****

LUKE: What?

****

LINDSAY: I can't believe I didn't see this.

****

LUKE: See what?

****

LINDSAY: This. You and Lorelai.

****

LUKE: What about Lorelai and me?

****

LINDSAY: You're in love with her.

****

LUKE: No. No. Lorelai and I are friends.

****

LINDSAY: I bet you say that to yourself everyday.

****

LUKE: Lindsay, really, we're just friends.

****

LINDSAY: Have you ever dated before?

****

LUKE: No. As I've said, we're _just_ friends.

****

LINDSAY: Ah.

****

LUKE: What was that all about?

****

LINDSAY: Luke, you and Lorelai are obviously meant to be.

****

LUKE: Lindsay, no. Lorelai is with Grayer; I'm with you; end of story.

****

LINDSAY: Neither of you is permanently attached.

****

LUKE: Why this sudden rant?

****

LINDSAY: It just occurred to me.

****

LUKE: Because of the coffee thing?

****

LINDSAY: Yes and no. Because everything you do, you're so used to including her. When you order a salad, you talk about how you'd have to order vegetable-less soup for Lorelai. Or when it snows, you grumble that Lorelai would be out in it. Or when I come in, you immediately ask me if I want coffee because, secretly, you want Lorelai to be walking in right now and not me.

****

LUKE: Lindsay, that's not true. None of it.

****

LINDSAY: It is, though. I can't understand why I didn't see it from the very beginning.

****

LUKE: Lorelai is a friend. A good friend, an old friend, but just a friend. She and I … we'd never work.

****

LINDSAY: Why not?

****

LUKE: She's… Lorelai. I'm me.

****

LINDSAY: Luke, you're blind or in denial.

****

LUKE: I'm neither.

****

LINDSAY: I'd proceed to say "Cleopatra, Queen of D'Nile," but I haven't seen your drag clothes yet, so it seems a bit preemptive.

****

LUKE: Let's get this straight. You're breaking up with me because you have some _crazy_ idea that I'm in love with Lorelai?

****

LINDSAY: No. I'm breaking up with you because I can see that you like me, Luke, but you love Lorelai.

****

LUKE: And you gathered this from the fact that I tell platonic, friendly stories about her?

****

LINDSAY: Platonic, friendly stories grounded in love.

****

LUKE: This is nuts.

****

LINDSAY: No, Luke, you're nuts. You and Lorelai both are. [_"You and I Both," by Jason Mraz starts playing. She stands up and walks behind the counter to stand next to LUKE_] I'm sorry this didn't work.

****

LUKE: I… I am too.

[_LINDSAY kisses his cheek and smiles sadly_]

****

LINDSAY: Goodnight, Luke Danes.

****

LUKE: Bye.

[_LINDSAY gathers her purse and leaves, just like RACHEL so long ago. LUKE leans against the counter and exhales to the tune of Jason Mraz_]

[_Second commercial break_]

[_Int. New York. RORY and JESS are walking down the street, hand-in-hand_]

****

RORY: …and she ended up assigning me to proofread all the articles.

****

JESS: Huh.

****

RORY: I mean, so she's got a boyfriend. All of a sudden, I'm the editor without the title.

****

JESS: That's tough. [_He kisses her cheek_]

****

RORY: [_Smiles_] But at least she's happy. It's so much better than grumpy, scary Paris.

****

JESS: I can't imagine an ideal Paris.

****

RORY: I didn't say ideal. I said better.

****

JESS: Beat-hater.

****

RORY: We should stone her.

****

JESS: You know, that's not an entirely bad idea. Can we stone Taylor too?

****

RORY: Sure.

****

JESS: I'm shocked at you, Miss Gilmore. What would the society set think?

****

RORY: Quit with that.

[_They turn the corner and JESS stops_]

****

RORY: What?

****

JESS: Nothing.

****

RORY: Um, why are we stopped?

****

JESS: No reason. Let's go.

****

BOY: [_Calling to them_] Jess!

****

RORY: Who's that?

****

JESS: [_Sighs_] Old friend.

****

RORY: Your friends? Why don't we go see them?

****

JESS: Rory, I don't—

****

BOY: You hiding or what, Mariano?

****

JESS: [_Mutters_] Great. [_Calls_] Hold it, Chuck.

****

RORY: [_Giggly_] You have a friend named Chuck?

****

JESS: [_Impatient_] Yes. Look, Rory, these aren't really your kind of people.

****

RORY: Jess, quit with this rich-girl mantra!

****

JESS: No, not that. They're just—

****

GIRL: [_Calling to them_] Hey, Jess, come on!

****

JESS: This is it. Last call.

****

RORY: For what?

****

JESS: To run.

****

RORY: I want to meet your friends.

****

JESS: Fine.

[_They make their way over. RORY holds JESS' hand lightly, smiling a bit nervously_]

****

JESS: Hey guys.

****

GROUP: [_Collectively_] Hey.

****

CHUCK: What are you doing back in New York?

****

JESS: Just…visiting.

****

CHUCK: Aw, visiting Mommy. How sweet.

****

GIRL: You bring us a souvenir?

****

JESS: [_Glances to RORY_] This is Rory.

****

RORY: [_Sweetly_] Hi.

[_The people in the group just kind of look at each other, not knowing quite what to make of JESS with this obviously sweet girl_]

****

JESS: Rory, this is Chuck, Cassie, Alden, and Adrienne.

****

ADRIENNE: A.J.

****

JESS: A.J., I guess.

****

RORY: Nice to meet you.

[_CHUCK makes eye contact with JESS and shoots him a strange look. JESS looks away_]

****

CHUCK: Hey, Jess, man, come order.

****

JESS: What?

****

CHUCK: Food. Come on.

****

JESS: [_To RORY_] What do you want?

****

RORY: I'll have whatever you do.

[_JESS and CHUCK walk away. The rest of the group stares at RORY. They are all sitting on a picnic table, but RORY stands awkwardly in front of them, her arms jutting out at weird angles as she tries not to fidget_]

****

CASSIE: So you're from Stars Hollow.

****

RORY: Yeah.

****

CASSIE: Piss-ant town.

****

RORY: It's not that bad.

****

CASSIE: [_Laughs cynically_] You've probably never been out of it.

****

RORY: I have. I'm out of it now.

****

CASSIE: So, how's the big city?

****

RORY: It's nice.

[_CASSIE, A.J. and ALDEN laugh_]

****

CASSIE: You've obviously never been out of Mayberry.

****

RORY: Stars Hollow.

****

CASSIE: Whatever. [_She takes out a cigarette and lights it, inhaling and puffing smoke. RORY crinkles her nose_] Let me guess, not a smoker.

****

RORY: No.

[_CASSIE offers her pack to A.J. and ALDEN, who both take one and light them. None make the effort to blow away from RORY_]

****

CASSIE: Drink?

****

RORY: Alcohol?

****

CASSIE: Duh.

****

RORY: No.

****

CASSIE: Drug habits?

****

RORY: Um, caffeine.

****

CASSIE: Driving citations?

****

RORY: No.

****

CASSIE: [_To A.J._] She could be Miss America. [_To RORY. Bitterly_] You rich?

****

RORY: No. I'm not rich.

****

CASSIE: Yeah right. Daddy's a corporate lawyer?

****

RORY: No.

****

CASSIE: Doctor? CEO?

****

RORY: In Stars Hollow?

****

CASSIE: [_To A.J._] I can't believe this.

****

A.J.: I know.

****

RORY: What?

****

CASSIE: [_Looks her up and down_] Nothing.

[_CASSIE, A.J. and ALDEN puff away while RORY stands uncomfortably, waiting for JESS to get back_]

[_Cut to JESS and CHUCK at the counter, waiting for food_]

****

CHUCK: So what's the deal?

****

JESS: What deal?

****

CHUCK: The girl.

****

JESS: [_Shrugs_] Nothing.

****

CHUCK: Come on.

****

JESS: There's no deal. It's a girl. I'm pretty sure you've seen one before.

****

CHUCK: In Technicolor detail.

****

JESS: There you go.

****

CHUCK: But she's so… [_He searches for a word_] sweet.

****

JESS: What's wrong with that?

****

CHUCK: Nothing. If that's what you want.

****

JESS: Okay.

[_Pause_]

****

CHUCK: So, she put out?

****

JESS: What?

****

CHUCK: Come on. There has to be a reason.

****

JESS: [_Disgusted_] That's not it.

****

CHUCK: Then what is it?

****

JESS: I like her, okay? Something wrong with that?

****

CHUCK: [_Raises his eyebrows_] No. Not at all. I just never saw you like this.

****

JESS: Like what?

****

CHUCK: Whipped.

****

JESS: [_Rolls his eyes_] Whipped?

****

CHUCK: You take her to New York, you order her food for her, you probably throw your coat over puddles.

****

JESS: Man, you have no idea what you're talking about.

****

CHUCK: If you say so.

****

JESS: And I do.

****

CHUCK: Fine.

[_Cut to RORY standing by JESS' group of friends, looking miserable. She's studying the ground while the idle chatter circulates around her_]

****

CASSIE: And I mean, God, she didn't even use a condom.

****

A.J.: Isn't she on the Pill?

****

CASSIE: Not anymore. Can't get the money.

****

A.J.: Jesus, you think she's knocked up?

****

CASSIE: Who knows.

****

ALDEN: She's such a slut.

****

CASSIE: [_Leers_] And Alden would know.

****

ALDEN: That was a mistake, all right?

****

A.J.: Uh-huh.

****

ALDEN: Hey, she's hot.

****

CASSIE: And you're a guy.

****

ALDEN: Exactly.

****

A.J.: Didn't Jess sleep with her for a while too?

[_RORY'S head jerks up. The other three are oblivious_]

****

CASSIE: Once or twice, probably.

****

ALDEN: He got bored.

****

A.J.: Easy to do with her.

****

CASSIE: I'm bored just talking about her.

****

A.J.: I heard Mitch is looking.

****

CASSIE: Mitch?

****

A.J.: Yeah, Bri left him.

****

CASSIE: Hmm.

****

ALDEN: Poor guy. You're such a stalker.

****

CASSIE: I'm not a stalker.

****

A.J.: There are a lot of coincidences in this city.

****

CASSIE: Exactly.

[_"I Love Rock and Roll," by Joan Jett plays. JESS and CHUCK appear with the food. JESS hands RORY a box containing a burger and sits. RORY, uncertain, wavers for a minute until JESS looks back at her. She sits next to him, on the edge of the picnic table and picks at her burger_]

[_Int. Al's Pancake World. Late Friday night. LORELAI and GRAYER are seated across from each other, in front of a gigantic banner that reads "Pancakes 'til Midnight"_]

****

GRAYER: You feeling all right?

****

LORELAI: Fine. Why?

****

GRAYER: You're picking at your food. Does it taste okay?

****

LORELAI: It's fine. I guess I'm just not very hungry. You know, dinner with the parental unit.

****

GRAYER: At least it'll make good leftovers.

****

LORELAI: Leftovers. Mmm.

****

GRAYER: There are few things in life better than just popping the Styrofoam in the microwave and voila, a meal.

****

LORELAI: Exactly. Or there's pizza, which is good even without all the microwave effort.

****

GRAYER: You know you've sunk down low when you think heating food in the microwave takes effort.

****

LORELAI: Hey, I'm a busy woman. I don't have time for trivial things.

****

GRAYER: Like dates?

****

LORELAI: [_Caught off-guard_] What?

****

GRAYER: Trivial things like dates?

****

LORELAI: Grayer… what?

****

GRAYER: [_Hurt_] You don't remember?

****

LORELAI: Remember what?

****

GRAYER: Our date… last Saturday…

****

LORELAI: Oh, Grayer. I'm so sorry. I was fixing the inn and I forgot. I'm so sorry.

****

GRAYER: No, forget it. It's fine.

****

LORELAI: I'm horrible.

****

GRAYER: Well, it is your second one. [_Smiles_] Three strikes and you're out.

****

LORELAI: I can't believe my mom set me up with you.

****

GRAYER: Why?

****

LORELAI: You're so nice.

****

GRAYER: Trying to butter me up? 'Cause you're still Maria's stand-in.

****

LORELAI: [_Smiles_] Lucky me.

****

GRAYER: So, how's Luke?

****

LORELAI: [_Guiltily_] He's fine.

****

GRAYER: Good. We need a healthy construction crew.

****

LORELAI: Absolutely.

****

GRAYER: How's Rory?

****

LORELAI: She went to New York with Jess.

****

GRAYER: You let her?

****

LORELAI: It's a favor to Luke.

****

GRAYER: Oh, I see.

****

LORELAI: Yeah.

****

GRAYER: She having fun?

****

LORELAI: I haven't talked to her. She left a message about getting in okay and after that, nada.

****

GRAYER: I hope she's having a good time.

****

LORELAI: Not too good a time.

****

GRAYER: Not _that_ good.

****

LORELAI: Otherwise I'd have to kill Luke.

****

GRAYER: And then where would the construction project be?

[_Silence ensues after the mention of LUKE_]

****

LORELAI: You know, this is the first time I've had pancakes at Al's.

****

GRAYER: I won't even ask why it's called Al's Pancake World.

****

LORELAI: Some think it's a euphemism.

****

GRAYER: [_Pretending to be shocked_] No.

****

LORELAI: Oh yes.

****

GRAYER: Suddenly, these pancakes aren't looking so tasty.

[_Int. New York. RORY and JESS are walking back to his apartment. RORY'S arms are crossed across her chest and she looks mad_]

****

JESS: You mad about something?

****

RORY: [_Coldly_] Why would I be?

****

JESS: That was what I was trying to figure out. I mean, you're the one who wanted to meet my friends. I tried to warn you.

****

RORY: All you said was that they were "not my kind of people."

****

JESS: And I was right.

****

RORY: You could have said something about the smoking or the cussing or the—the vulgarity.

****

JESS: Look, you wanted to meet my friends. You met them. Happy?

****

RORY: Ecstatic. What gave me away?

****

JESS: [_Sighs_] Look, as usual, I'm sorry, all right? I tried to warn you, though.

****

RORY: Whatever.

[_They reach the apartment building and walk inside, silently getting into the elevator_]

****

JESS: It wasn't that bad.

****

RORY: Maybe that's because you weren't harassed.

****

JESS: Oh, jeez, you weren't "harassed."

****

RORY: No?

****

JESS: No.

****

RORY: You and Chuck were gone for a long time.

****

JESS: [_Mildly concerned_] What happened?

****

RORY: [_Turns away_] Nothing.

****

JESS: Great. You complain about being "harassed" and then you won't tell me what happened.

****

RORY: Look, your friends are just rude, that's all, okay?

****

JESS: Fine, okay.

****

RORY: I don't deserve to be treated like an idiot just because I live in a small town.

****

JESS: Anyone you run into in New York is going to tease you about Stars Hollow. Come on, Rory, face it, that town is living proof that small-town America should cease to exist.

****

RORY: You've been doing fine there.

****

JESS: Yeah, real fine.

****

RORY: Wait, so now you hate Stars Hollow again? You're with your friends for an hour and you're back to hating it?

****

JESS: I never liked it.

****

RORY: What's wrong with Stars Hollow?

****

JESS: Rory, jeez.

****

RORY: "Jeez" what? There is nothing wrong with Stars Hollow.

****

JESS: Rory, it's the smallest town on the face of the planet. You know there's something wrong with a town when the police officer takes a _head count_ to see if there was a murder.

****

RORY: Fine, hate it. I don't care.

****

JESS: Good.

****

RORY: [_Pause_] Why would you hate it? You've got Luke there. Luke's really good to you.

****

JESS: Look, Rory, can we not get into this right now?

****

RORY: [_Sadly, looking at him_] You hate it even though I'm there?

****

JESS: Rory, stop.

[_The elevator opens and they step into the hallway. They walk up to his apartment and inside in silence. JESS goes to the back, where LIZ is sound asleep in bed. He rolls his eyes and walks back to RORY, standing in the living room_]

****

JESS: The bed's down the hall, right there. [_He points to his room_]

****

RORY: Where are you sleeping?

****

JESS: In the bed.

****

RORY: I'll take the couch, thanks.

****

JESS: Jesus.

****

RORY: Where's the bathroom?

****

JESS: Right there. [_He points_]

****

RORY: Great. 

[_She opens her bag and digs out a smaller toiletries bag and her pajamas, then disappears into the bathroom. JESS sits on the couch and sighs, putting his head in his hands. After a minute, he gets up and knocks on the bathroom door_]

****

RORY: What?

****

JESS: Can I come in?

****

RORY: Your apartment.

[_JESS steps inside. RORY is in her pajamas and is squirting toothpaste on her toothbrush_]

****

JESS: Can we not fight right now?

****

RORY: [_Through the foaming toothpaste_] Your choice.

****

JESS: I said I'm sorry and I am. I forgot that you don't get a lot of exposure, okay?

****

RORY: [_Mumbled through the toothpaste_] Fine.

****

JESS: I didn't bring you here to freak you out or make you mad.

****

RORY: [_Mumbled through the toothpaste_] Okay.

****

JESS: So if you could stop being pissed off, that'd be good.

[_RORY spits the toothpaste into the sink and rinses her brush off. JESS hands her a clean plastic cup from a cabinet and RORY rinses her mouth out_]

****

RORY: I might have overreacted a little.

****

JESS: I'm sensing a pattern here.

****

RORY: But I still think you should have told me exactly what I was getting into.

****

JESS: Okay.

[_RORY stands up on her toes to kiss him. JESS wraps him arms around her waist, drawing her close and RORY puts her arms around his neck. The kiss soon gets heated and RORY backs away, scared_]

****

RORY: I must seem really silly and naïve to you.

****

JESS: [_Confused_] Huh?

****

RORY: Cassie and A.J., they're…

****

JESS: …sluts?

****

RORY: Experienced.

****

JESS: Oh, no, not another fight.

****

RORY: [_Bites her lip_] No. Not another fight.

****

JESS: Thank God.

[_Pause_]

****

RORY: I'm going to bed.

****

JESS: Right across the hall. I'll be there in a minute.

****

RORY: Okay.

[_They kiss one more time, but RORY breaks away before it can go anywhere. JESS sighs after she leaves and leans his hands on either side of the sink_]

[_Third commercial break_]

[_Int. New York. Early Saturday morning. RORY wakes up next to JESS, who is still sleeping. She looks at him for a while, the carefully rolls out of bed, trying not to disturb him. She grabs her cell phone from her bag and tiptoes into the bathroom, where she sits on the closed toilet lid and dials_]

****

RORY: [_On phone_] Hi, Mrs. Kim, may I please speak to Lane? [_Pause_] Five minutes is fine, Mrs. Kim, thank you. [_Pause_]

****

LANE: [_On phone. Cut between RORY and LANE_] Hello?

****

RORY: Lane?

****

LANE: Oh my God, Rory.

****

RORY: You're talking on the phone again?

****

LANE: Isn't it amazing? It's been a month since I've heard other people.

****

RORY: Really?

****

LANE: Really. And if being cooped up in the Kim house sounds fun, I dare you to listen to Yanni.

****

RORY: Yikes.

****

LANE: News! I need news from the outside, I'm begging you.

****

RORY: Well… I'm in New York right now.

****

LANE: With Lorelai?

****

RORY: Jess.

****

LANE: [_Shocked_] Really?

****

RORY: He's visiting his mom and my mom let me come.

****

LANE: I can't believe it.

****

RORY: I know.

****

LANE: Did you…

****

RORY: No! No.

****

LANE: Just asking! Last time I checked, you two were—

****

RORY: Lane, ew, no.

****

LANE: Sorry, sorry.

****

RORY: I met his friends.

****

LANE: Were they cool?

****

RORY: It kind of depends on your definition of cool.

****

LANE: *Nsync or Jason Mraz?

****

RORY: Neither.

****

LANE: Bob Dylan or Tom Waits?

****

RORY: Mmm, still neither.

****

LANE: Joan Jett or Heart?

****

RORY: I guess Joan Jett.

****

LANE: Really?

****

RORY: They're… interesting. Experienced. They hated me.

****

LANE: No one can hate you, Rory.

****

RORY: Paris.

****

LANE: Even she ended up liking you.

****

RORY: Well, these people won't. I just felt so stupid, you know?

****

LANE: About what?

****

RORY: You know, I think it's a really big deal to ask my mom about the Pill—

****

LANE: You asked about—about the thing?

****

RORY: Yeah. And I thought it was some huge step forward and I told Jess about it like no one else had ever done such a thing and I thought, for some reason, that he'd be impressed, but these people, Lane, I mean, I don't think it's anything to mention. Jess is used to people who just talk about this sort of thing in casual conversation, not like it's earth-stopping.

****

LANE: So what? You're not them.

****

RORY: What if he wants them?

****

LANE: He's with you, isn't he?

****

RORY: What if I'm just a placeholder?

****

LANE: Rory, come on.

****

RORY: Yeah, I know. [_Pause_] So, how's Clyde?

****

LANE: Well, he's managed to get a few letters through security. I don' t know how he does it so I can't write back, but the band's good. They had to find a different drummer, though.

****

RORY: I'm so sorry, Lane.

****

LANE: Yeah. But I don't blame them. Who knows when I'll be out?

****

RORY: Your mom didn't give the school any sort of idea?

****

LANE: She told them that I have a "grave medical problem" and to send my work to the house.

****

RORY: Oh.

****

LANE: So, basically, never.

****

RORY: At least you've got the phone.

****

LANE: Not anymore. My five minutes are up.

****

RORY: Okay. Bye.

****

LANE: Bye.

[_Both girls hang up. RORY sighs, gets up, and goes back into JESS' room, where he is still sound asleep. She crawls in bed again and shuts her eyes. Moments later, LIZ opens the door. She is a short, thirtysomething woman with dark hair and hazel eyes. She's wearing a pair of jeans that look old and a big wooly sweater_]

****

LIZ: Hey, time to get up.

[_JESS groans and rolls closer to RORY, who blushes and sits up. LIZ smiles at her and RORY smiles shyly back_]

****

JESS: What time is it?

****

LIZ: It's seven!

****

JESS: It's Saturday.

****

LIZ: I thought Rory might like to do some sightseeing with us.

****

JESS: Mom, Rory doesn't want to go sightseeing.

****

LIZ: [_To RORY_] Do you want to go sightseeing?

****

RORY: Um… [_She looks uncertainly towards JESS, who is trying to sit up and rub his eyes_] Well…

****

LIZ: Of course you do.

****

JESS: Oh, great, just decide for her.

****

LIZ: Just because you're lazy doesn't mean Rory should miss out on New York sights.

****

JESS: Oh, Jesus, she lives two hours away. She can see it anytime she wants.

****

LIZ: Maybe she wants to see it now.

****

JESS: Maybe she doesn't. Have you considered asking her?

****

LIZ: I did.

****

JESS: And answered for her.

****

LIZ: Rory, honey, do you want to go sightseeing?

****

RORY: [_Her eyes dart back and forth between JESS and LIZ. JESS is looking at her intensely now. It's like choosing between the people, not the options_] I don't care. I'll do whatever you guys agree on.

****

LIZ: Oh, honey, we're never going to agree on anything. You might as well decide.

****

RORY: [_Hedging the question_] I should get dressed. 

[_She takes her bag and practically runs out of the room_]

****

JESS: Nice job.

****

LIZ: And you helped a lot. [_She walks over and throws the covers off of him_]

****

JESS: Christ. [_He gets up and looks around for his pants_]

****

LIZ: Don't you want to show Rory a good time?

****

JESS: Not everyone's idea of a good time is looking at cheesy tourist crap.

****

LIZ: [_While making JESS' bed_] I don't think the Statue of Liberty qualifies as "cheesy tourist crap."

****

JESS: More or less.

****

LIZ: Just because you want to sleep in doesn't mean that other people want to.

****

JESS: Thanks for the lesson.

****

LIZ: Don't you even _care_, Jess? This is your girlfriend. Don't you want her to have a good time in New York?

****

JESS: Of course I do.

****

LIZ: Well, perhaps you should think of someone but yourself for once in your life.

****

JESS: That's rich, coming from you.

****

LIZ: [_Stops making the bed and straightens up_] Excuse me?

****

JESS: You ran out on Luke and your dad. Everybody knows you don't "work late"; you go out drinking and whor—

****

LIZ: Stop right there! No one gave you the right to give me a moral lesson.

****

JESS: At least I don't get drunk every night and lie about it.

****

LIZ: You're full of bullshit.

****

JESS: And the real Liz shows herself.

****

LIZ: I work hard, Jess! I work hard to keep us in this apartment and to buy you clothes and send you to school and—

****

JESS: Not anymore! Luke does all that now. You don't have to live here anymore. You can live wherever the hell you want.

****

LIZ: I worked overtime, I worked weekends, I worked whenever I could so that you could sit around this apartment and—

****

JESS: And my job meant nothing? I didn't ask you for anything.

****

LIZ: Except maybe a home, you think?

****

JESS: Didn't matter, though, you shipped me off anyway.

****

LIZ: You were causing trouble!

****

JESS: That's such bull. I got a ticket for vandalizing once. You were just sick of me.

****

LIZ: [_Explosively_] Yeah, that's right, Jess! You're such a smart-ass. I was sick of working to support you.

****

JESS: So you just thought you'd let Luke do it.

****

LIZ: Luke—

****

JESS: It's not my fault I was born! Maybe you should have thought ahead before sleeping with the first random guy you ran into in New York.

****

LIZ: Shut up.

****

JESS: I didn't ask to be born. But I'm here now and I'm your problem.

****

LIZ: Not anymore.

****

JESS: [_Grabs his coat_] Got that right.

****

LIZ: Where are you going?

****

JESS: Out!

[_He leaves the room. A moment later, there's a slam. LIZ sits on the bed and sighs. RORY walks uncertainly across the hall and knocks lightly on the door_]

****

LIZ: Come in.

****

RORY: Hi.

****

LIZ: Hi. [_She pats the bed_] You can sit if you want.

****

RORY: [_Sits_] Thanks.

****

LIZ: I'm sorry about this scene.

****

RORY: That's okay.

****

LIZ: [_Takes a deep breath and smiles_] So you're Rory.

****

RORY: Yes. [_She extends her hand_] It's nice to meet you.

****

LIZ: [_Looks surprised and shakes RORY'S hand_] Same here.

****

RORY: [_Awkwardly_] This is a nice apartment.

****

LIZ: It's okay. [_Pause_] How do you deal with him?

****

RORY: Jess?

****

LIZ: Yeah.

****

RORY: He's nice to me.

****

LIZ: That'd be a first.

****

RORY: He doesn't… yell.

****

LIZ: [_Chortles_] You're a lucky girl. No really, tell me. You're a sweetie. How did it happen?

****

RORY: Jess and I… share the same interests. He reads a lot.

****

LIZ: Tell me about it.

****

RORY: Well, I read too and we talk. About books. And music. 

****

LIZ: [_Awed_] He talks to you.

****

RORY: About books and music.

****

LIZ: What about me?

****

RORY: [_Looks down_] He doesn't mention New York a lot.

****

LIZ: I see.

****

RORY: At all.

****

LIZ: I'm not surprised.

****

RORY: [_Relaxing. It's easier to talk to LIZ than to LORELAI about JESS_] He doesn't talk about himself a lot. He clams up.

****

LIZ: I know. That's just what he does.

****

RORY: I've never seen him like this.

****

LIZ: It's a special mode he goes into when he's around me.

****

RORY: Look, if this is going badly, I can just take the bus home.

****

LIZ: It's okay. Jess has a habit of running out. Just like his dad.

****

RORY: [_Pause_] Yeah, he does.

****

LIZ: [_Sighs_] Maybe with you here, he'll actually come back, though.

****

RORY: Oh.

[_Silence_]

****

LIZ: So, I haven't heard much about you.

****

RORY: What do you want to know?

****

LIZ: [_Thinks_] Well, I don't know. I've never met one of Jess' girlfriends before.

****

RORY: Oh.

****

LIZ: Do you like Stars Hollow?

****

RORY: Yeah. But it's the only place I've ever lived.

****

LIZ: I couldn't wait to get out of there.

****

RORY: I don't want to leave.

****

LIZ: [_Smiles_] You might be my polar opposite.

****

RORY: It's my mom, mostly.

****

LIZ: You like her?

****

RORY: [_Honestly_] She's my best friend.

****

LIZ: Wow.

****

RORY: She's amazing.

****

LIZ: I've never heard a kid say that about their mom before.

****

RORY: They didn't have Lorelai as a mother.

****

LIZ: Lorelai.

****

RORY: I'm named after her.

****

LIZ: [_Smiles. Pause_] Do you like school?

****

RORY: Yeah.

****

LIZ: Jess hates it.

****

RORY: I know. I go to Chilton, though, not Stars Hollow.

****

LIZ: A private school?

****

RORY: Yeah. It's in Hartford.

****

LIZ: So you're smart.

****

RORY: [_Uncomfortable_] Well…

****

LIZ: [_Laughs_] That's okay, you don't have to answer that. [_Pause_] I just don't know why someone like you would be with… Jess.

****

RORY: [_Pause_] I can't explain it.

****

LIZ: Fair enough. How about some breakfast?

****

RORY: Oh, well… sure. Sure.

[_She and LIZ get up and leave JESS' bedroom_]

[_Int. New York apartment. Late afternoon. RORY is on the couch watching TV when JESS comes in_]

****

JESS: [_Hanging his coat up_] Hey.

****

RORY: [_Shuts the TV off_] Hey.

****

JESS: What were you watching?

****

RORY: [_Stands up_] Why did you do that?

****

JESS: Hang my coat up?

****

RORY: Don't play stupid.

****

JESS: Rory, I hate this apartment, I hate my mother—

****

RORY: So your excuse is to just leave? Just storm out? Don't even try to patch things up?

****

JESS: Oh, God.

****

RORY: What? What's so bad about that idea?

****

JESS: You talked with Liz.

****

RORY: So?

****

JESS: She gave you the speech about me being like Jimmy, running out all the time.

****

RORY: Who's Jimmy?

****

JESS: My dad.

****

RORY: Oh.

****

JESS: Well, that's what happened, isn't it?

****

RORY: No.

****

JESS: Right.

****

RORY: No, Jess, that's not what happened. What happened is that you ran out and left me here.

****

JESS: [_Sincerely_] Sorry.

****

RORY: You could have just told your mother that we could go sightseeing later.

****

JESS: I didn't want to sightsee at all and trust me, neither do you.

****

RORY: That's not the point. The point is that sometimes you just have to appease people.

****

JESS: Rory, this isn't about you. Just stay out of it.

****

RORY: I'm not allowed to care?

****

JESS: You're not allowed to get in the middle of it. This is between Liz and me.

****

RORY: I'm trying to help.

****

JESS: Well, Rory, just stop trying for once.

****

RORY: So you like things the way they are? 

****

JESS: Look, it's not going to matter. I'll live in Stars Hollow until I graduate and then I'll be on my own.

****

RORY: She's your _mother_, Jess.

****

JESS: [_Yelling_] And what a great mother! You have no idea, Rory. You live in your little storybook world and you think that everything can be solved if people just sit and talk it out, have a little coffee, but that's stupid and naïve and the world doesn't work like that. Just stay out of it, okay?!

[_Silence_]

****

RORY: [_Teary_] Ouch.

****

JESS: [_Sighs_] Look, I'm just saying, you don't know what you're talking about. You talked to my mom for what, an hour? She was on her best behavior. You have no idea.

****

RORY: So what, now I'm stupid too?

****

JESS: No, Rory. No.

****

RORY: Look, your mom is not entirely without a point.

****

JESS: Is that so.

****

RORY: You do tend to walk out a lot.

****

JESS: What?

****

RORY: At that first dinner in Stars Hollow, you just ditched it. You totaled my car and ran. [_Sighs_] I'm sick of waiting when you'll leave again.

****

JESS: Likewise.

****

RORY: Pardon me?

****

JESS: Likewise.

****

RORY: What does that mean?

****

JESS: It means I keep wondering the same thing.

****

RORY: That's crap. I'm more involved in this relationship than you are.

****

JESS: No you're not. You're just waiting for something better so you can cheat on me and go off to Yale with some pretty rich boy on your arm.

****

RORY: You're just waiting for me to sleep with you! Once you get that, there's nothing left, now is there?

****

JESS: Oh, that's—

****

RORY: True? I get it now, Jess. You think I'm some dumb hick. You keep comparing me to these girls you knew in New York, Cassie and A.J. and probably plenty more and that's stupid, because I'm not them. I don't just sleep with people because I feel like it. You'll probably just get _bored_ with me. Sounds like you're known for it.

[_Before JESS can answer, RORY grabs her coat and marches out of the apartment_]

[_Fourth commercial break_]

[_Int. Dragonfly Inn. Saturday night. LUKE and LORELAI are shoving cabinets around the kitchen, silently. Finally, LORELAI breaks the quiet_

****

LORELAI: So, how's Lindsay?

****

LUKE: Fine, I guess.

****

LORELAI: You guess? Shouldn't you be keeping tabs on this sort of thing?

****

LUKE: She broke up with me.

****

LORELAI: Oh, Luke. I'm so sorry. What happened?

****

LUKE: It's a long story.

****

LORELAI: [_Straightens and gestures around the room_] We haven't got much but time.

****

LUKE: She… there was someone else.

****

LORELAI: Oh, sorry. That's a bad feeling, Luke.

****

LUKE: Yeah.

****

LORELAI: You doing okay?

****

LUKE: Fine. So, you hear from Rory?

****

LORELAI: Well… no. She called me when they got in and said she'd try to call again later.

****

LUKE: Well, that's something.

****

LORELAI: Yeah, I guess.

****

LUKE: Thanks for letting her go. I'm sure Jess… and Liz appreciate it.

****

LORELAI: Yeah, well, I loan Rory out for occasions like this. I'm going to start charging.

****

LUKE: So you're going to start an escort service.

****

LORELAI: [_Grins and leers_] Dirty connotation and all.

[_The two realize that they've gotten closer as they talk and are now standing a very short distance apart. LORELAI'S grin fades as she and LUKE look at each other. LORELAI slowly brings her hand up to rest of LUKE'S cheek. He bends slightly and kisses her_]

****

LORELAI: We shouldn't be doing this.

****

LUKE: No.

[_They kiss again. LORELAI wraps her arms around LUKE'S neck and he draws her close by the waist. The kiss gets kicked up to NC-17 and LORELAI and LUKE stumble around the kitchen, kissing madly. LORELAI'S hand slips down to LUKE'S butt and she grins into the kiss_]

****

LUKE: Good?

****

LORELAI: Very good.

[_The kissing resumes. LUKE backs LORELAI against the wall and grabs her hands, pinning them to the wall. They press tightly together and LORELAI moans_

****

LORELAI: Luke…

****

LUKE: We need to stop.

****

LORELAI: Immediately.

[_LORELAI leans in and kisses him again, taking her hands out from his and starting to unbutton his flannel shirt. LUKE yanks her close by the hips and they start moving again as LORELAI throws LUKE'S flannel off, revealing a plain white T-shirt_]

****

LORELAI: So that's what you wear under these things.

****

LUKE: What did you expect?

****

LORELAI: Mmm, lingerie. 

****

LUKE: Sorry to disappoint.

****

LORELAI: [_Serious_] Never.

[_They kiss again, but it's slower, a little more affectionate than passionate. LUKE turns so that LORELAI faces the counter, lifts her, and puts her on it as they continue to kiss. LORELAI reaches for the hem of LUKE'S shirt and is about to pull it off when there's a cry of surprise. The two fly apart and LUKE whisks his flannel off the floor_]

****

LORELAI: Grayer! What—what are you doing here?

****

GRAYER: [_Drawing his hand away from his eyes_] I, uh, I was just dropping the muffins off.

****

LORELAI: Muffins?

****

GRAYER: I got muffins for the crew for tomorrow. [_He holds out a gigantic bakery box_]

****

LORELAI: I—oh. Oh. Thank you. [_She grabs it and sets it on the counter where she was previously sitting_] Let's… talk.

****

GRAYER: Good idea.

[_GRAYER walks out. LORELAI follows him, looking over her shoulder at LUKE, who looks back at her, holding his flannel shirt in his hands_]

[_Cut to LORELAI and GRAYER outside_]

****

LORELAI: Grayer, I—

****

GRAYER: Look, Lorelai, I think I know what you're going to say. You're sorry?

****

LORELAI: I am.

****

GRAYER: I know.

****

LORELAI: I never meant to hurt you. I never thought that things would end up like this between Luke and me.

****

GRAYER: You know, I did. I'm the stupid one. I should have known that you and Luke would get together.

****

LORELAI: We're not "together."

****

GRAYER: I got a somewhat different impression.

****

LORELAI: Grayer, I honestly didn't mean for this to happen.

****

GRAYER: I know, Lorelai. [_Pause_] When did it occur to you?

****

LORELAI: What?

****

GRAYER: That Luke was more than a friend? [_LORELAI is silent_] I knew it. It was a long time ago.

****

LORELAI: I—

****

GRAYER: Don't apologize. I just wish you'd been brave enough to just tell me. We would have avoided a lot of hurt.

****

LORELAI: I wish I had.

****

GRAYER: So… enjoy those muffins.

****

LORELAI: Thanks.

****

GRAYER: And I'm keeping my promise. I'm still here for Rory, even if we're not "us."

****

LORELAI: Grayer, you…

****

GRAYER: She has my number. Bye, Lorelai.

****

LORELAI: Goodbye, Grayer.

[_GRAYER climbs into his car and drives away. LORELAI stands out in the cold and watches him. LUKE comes out after a minute and stands next to LORELAI. They look at each other uncertainly_]

[_Int. New York apartment. JESS is sitting on the couch, staring into space when LIZ comes home_]

****

LIZ: Hey.

****

JESS: Hey.

****

LIZ: Where's Rory?

****

JESS: She left.

****

LIZ: She went home?

****

JESS: I don't think so. A walk, maybe.

****

LIZ: You don't know where she is?

****

JESS: We had a fight thanks to you and she left.

****

LIZ: It's not my fault you two had a fight.

****

JESS: You gave her the Jimmy spiel.

****

LIZ: I didn't give her a spiel.

****

JESS: Yeah, sure.

****

LIZ: Stop blaming your problems on other people, Jess. _You_ had a fight with her and pissed her off and she left.

****

JESS: And _I'm_ the one that runs?

****

LIZ: Jess, Jesus. It's obvious that this girl really likes you. She's nice and smart and pretty and what do you do? You treat her like total crap.

****

JESS: Why the hell does everyone say that?! I do not treat Rory like crap.

****

LIZ: Right, because most girlfriends run out of an apartment into an unfamiliar city because their boyfriend's being too nice.

****

JESS: I'm so glad you're here.

****

LIZ: Likewise.

****

JESS: I'm gonna go find her.

****

LIZ: What a novel idea.

[_JESS glares at his mother and gets up off the couch, grabs his coat, and leaves_]

[_Cut to New York street. JESS is walking a few blocks away from his apartment, hoping to find RORY. He goes toward where his friends were last night and catches a glimpse of a brunette sitting off the to side. He peers at her and decides that's RORY. Reluctantly, he walks toward her_]

[_As he gets closer, JESS can hear the buzz of conversation. He hears laughing from the shadows and the clink of glass bottles, most likely containing beer. In the dark, RORY is hard to distinguish, but he can see her at the edge, waving smoke away. JESS steps closer, trying to hear_]

****

CHUCK: …with him.

****

RORY: Um…

****

CHUCK: Because, between you and me, I'm better.

****

RORY: Right. I'll keep that in mind.

****

CHUCK: You do that. Just come up here anytime, I'll show you a thing or two Jess can't.

****

RORY: Got it.

****

CHUCK: [_Takes a swig of beer_] Jess'll get bored anyway.

****

RORY: [_Stiffens_] Oh?

****

CHUCK: Bored easily, man. Sleeps with a girl a couple times and moves on.

****

RORY: I see.

****

CHUCK: Just ask Cassie.

****

RORY: Another time.

[_JESS, fed up, emerges from the shadows and stands in front of RORY and CHUCK_]

****

JESS: Ready to go back?

****

RORY: [_Trying to be nonchalant_] Sure.

****

JESS: Okay.

****

CHUCK: Hey, Jess.

****

JESS: [_Coldly_[ Chuck.

****

CHUCK: I was just giving Rory here a couple of pointers.

****

JESS: Yeah, I heard.

****

CHUCK: Helpful, don't you agree?

****

JESS: Helpful as sand in a desert.

[_CHUCK takes the pot offered to him by A.J. and inhales deeply_]

****

JESS: Later.

[_He takes RORY'S arm and steers her away. As soon as they're out of sight, RORY jerks her arm back and folds both across her chest_]

****

JESS: What the hell were you doing with them?

****

RORY: They're the only other people I know in New York. [_Coldly_] And I was just looking for my next prospect.

****

JESS: Ah, jeez.

****

RORY: Hey, your words.

****

JESS: Rory, I'm sorry about that, okay?

****

RORY: Whatever.

****

JESS: You okay?

****

RORY: [_Stiffly_] I'm fine.

****

JESS: None of what he said is true. He's high and drunk.

****

RORY: That's when the truth comes out.

****

JESS: No, that's when people get stupid and start exaggerating.

****

RORY: Cassie and A.J. said the same thing.

****

JESS: What same thing?

****

RORY: That you sleep with a girl a couple of times and get bored.

****

JESS: Jesus Christ.

****

RORY: I knew it. You'll sleep with me and get bored and see another Nina and just up and split.

****

JESS: That's not true, okay? You're… different.

****

RORY: Sure.

****

JESS: [_Takes RORY'S arm to make her stop walking and face him_] You _are_.

****

RORY: Right, Jess.

****

JESS: What do you want from me?

****

RORY: I want to trust you.

****

JESS: That's more your problem than mine.

****

RORY: I just keep waiting for Nina Number Two to come walking along. You'd forget about me in four seconds flat.

****

JESS: Rory, can we just forget that the whole fight in the apartment happened? This weekend is hard for me, okay? That's why I asked you to come along in the first place. You told me that you wanted me to open up and I am.

****

RORY: This is you opening?

****

JESS: That's exactly what this is.

****

RORY: You didn't mean it?

****

JESS: The stuff in the apartment?

****

RORY: Yeah.

****

JESS: No, Rory. I was upset.

****

RORY: You must think I'm so stupid.

****

JESS: No. Naïve, yes. Stupid, never, [_Pause_] I'm not comparing you.

****

RORY: [_Pause_] Okay.

****

JESS: I don't want Cassie or A.J.

****

RORY: Sure?

****

JESS: Yep.

****

RORY: Okay. [_They start walking again. RORY sighs_] I can't wait to get home.

****

JESS: [_Pause_] Home. Yeah.

[_The camera follows RORY and JESS from behind as they walk down the street until they are very small in the distance_]

[_Cut to LUKE and LORELAI on the lawn of the Dragonfly Inn. They are staring awkwardly at each other. LORELAI sits on the tailgate of LUKE'S pickup and he sits next to her. After a minute, LORELAI leans into him and he puts his arm around her_]

[_End of episode_]


End file.
